loumercerwordsofwisdom.blogspot.com

Friday, December 31, 2010

It snowed at my house last night and now it is very cold!

Well, this is what greeted me this morning!  I had gone to Lamar yesterday morning to pick up my little sister, Mary, who you shall meet tomorrow.  We hurried right along cause I knew we had a storm headed our way.  As luck would have it we pulled into the drive way just as the moisture started to fall!  If there are doubting Thomas's out there who think the Good Lord does not look after this woman, think about that one!  It continued to snow all evening and this morning everything was white.  We must have gotten 5-7 inches except for that 3 foot drift in front of the tin shed where the snow shovel was snowed in.
 Down the steps I went to go take care of the water fowl out back!  Very cold !
 This is the end of my sidewalk and here is my Lilac bush.  Way on out there is my garage, the biggest garage in town.  I think it is about 1300 square feet on the bottom floor.  Course I have it full of crap.
 Now here is what I want to show you!  See those footprints?  Those are very big feet there and they are not mine.  No one else has been outside cause the boy does not arise until noonish.  Mary is still in bed.  What do you think they are from?  I do not know.  I do know I shall keep my doors locked and keep my trusty side arm at the ready, if you get my drift.
So, this shall remain a mystery and the sun will come and melt the snow, someday, and the footprints will go away.  In the meantime, tonight is New Years Eve!  Tomorrow will be 2011!!  Good Lord the years are shooting by in a blur!  Seems like only yesterday it was 1965 and I was stoned!  Oh, not like that!  It was the height of my baby making days.  You knew that!  Now here I am no longer counting kids, or even grand kids, but great grand kids.  I look back on the years and I am sure I remember because I surely was there, but all I can think of is that old song....
Old pappy time is a pickin' my pocket, can't make him stop it, pickin' my pocket!
or something like that!


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Chemist is at work in her laboratory!

OK, I am going to let you people see what happens in my kitchen when I am not cooking.  See this stuff here?  This is chap stick, or Lip Balm as I prefer to call it.  Now this particular concoction is made with Hemp Seed Butter, Hemp Oil, Beeswax, almond oil and e acetate.  It is out on it's trial run under the name "Lip Bong".
I had a lot of people offering suggestions for names all the way from Hippie Stick, Seeds and Stems, Calm Balm, to Moss Gloss.  I just thought Lip Bong hit the funny bone.  So far this is a rousing success, but I have not yet listed it on eBay.  May find my little self looking for a new place to sell.
After those tiny tubes are filled I need to let them cool and then put a label on each one.  Next comes the job of slipping a tiny little shrink wrap around each one and get out the hot air gun and shrink to fit.  If I am taking these to a sale I slip a tag with a string on it through the shrink wrap before I shrink it.  That gives me a place to put my price.

Now you can use this lip gloss and still pass your drug test.  I would not recommend eating it, though.  Not because you will get high, but because all that grease will no doubt make you very sick.  This stuff is green and kind of has the taste of swamp water, so I am sure I need to make a few adjustments to my little formula.  As a by product, however, I have some facial scrub that is wonderful.  See this butter had seed shards in it.  I had to strain them out.  So I mixed that stuff with some of my body butter and smeared that on my face!  Girl, I have the softest face in town!

Stay tuned for what happens next if and when anything comes of this.

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Monday, December 27, 2010

Christ Congregational Church in Belmont.

I perchance decided to attend Christ Congregational Church in Belmont a couple Sundays back.  I can do this.  Want to know why?  Christ Congregational Church in Belmont and First Congregational Church are both members if The United Church of Christ.  And if that is not enough, we share the same minister.  Reverend Jeannine Lamb is Pastor to both churches.  We are separate but the same.  Kind of unusual and lots of fun!

As luck would have it Christ Congregational Church was taking a "Noisy Offering"  on this Sunday.  Christ starts services at 9:30 so I had plenty of time.  There is little Bernadette dancing around with the stainless steel bowl for us to throw our change into.  First Church does not do this.
 And there is the bowl of money up close and personal.  I do not remember just what this bowl of money was going for, but it is usually something very worthwhile, like things for the migrants, or school supplies, or the dog pound.  You just never know!  See the idea is to bring all your change on the appointed day and throw it it this bowl and make lots of noise, hence the term, Noisy Offering!
 See those feet?  Those belong to Pastor Lamb.  She is standing on the little step stool that Scot so kindly built for her so she could see over the podium.  See, the guy before her was very tall, so he needed a tall podium.  Pastor Lamb may be a little thing but I am here to tell you this,  that woman knows how to fill a pulpit!  Size ain't no issue!
 Here is Pastor Lamb looking for her little footstool so she can show it to me!  What a very nice lady!
Now that the New Year is here, we change times.  First Church will meet at 9:30 and Christ will meet at 11:00.  I personally prefer the early time, but that is just me.  So, if you are in the market for a place to worship, we have the real deal for you!

Christ Congregational Church, UCC is located at 1101 Liberty Lane in Belmont and holds service at 11:00 AM every Sunday.  The building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright's grand daughter and built in the 1950's. It is an open and affirming church and a great place to go.

First Congregational United Church of Christ is located at 228 East Evans and holds service at 9:30 AM.  This church was built 131 years ago and is on the Historic Registry.  I love both of these churches, but am currently a member of the First Church.  Since I got Pastor Lamb wherever I go, I still have the best of both worlds!

So, you go to your church and I'll go to mine, but we will both walk along together!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas!!

Well, it is here.  The longest awaited day of the year.  I went to church last night and was absolutely amazed at how many people were there that I had never seen before!  My little church was filled with strangers and the best part is many of them were young people!

For many years I have been a cynic as to why people treat Christmas as a pagan holiday and a time to celebrate lord only knows what.  It is feverish shopping, ostentatious over decorating, over indulgence of every sort, and gotta have a drink cause it is Christmas.  Last night gave me insight into what exactly is going on. 

Now this was not my first rodeo as far as Christmas Eve service goes, however, this was much different.  Usually it is the Sunday morning crowd all dressed up and out after dark.  This time there were very few of the Sunday morning crowd, but there were a lot of young people.  Our church has only 3 small children.  They were not there last night, but these were young adults I had never seen before.  It was just great and made me think back to the Nickerson, Kansas, First Christian Church with Reverend Barnett.

I met a lady in South Fork (and that is another story altogether that I shall tell) many years back who told me Reverend Barnett wound up down in Texas and had lost everything in the collapse of the Savings and Loan business, which is but a dark, lurking memory and I am not going there today. 

Mother always took us to church on Sunday and of course Christmas Eve.  My father was an agnostic so he never attended any of that stuff.  Now you need to know that in the period I grew up in, poverty was the norm.  How my mother ever managed to put anything under the tree still amazes me to this day.  On the last day of school before we left for Christmas break, one of the teachers would give one of us 5 kids the tree from their room.  Which ever one of us received the tree would drag it home the mile to the house and mother would put it up. 

Then we strung popcorn or made a rope of papers glued together and draped that around the branches.  Somehow we always had hot chocolate on that special night.  Nothing for Santa though because he was getting plenty of cookies from other people.  I wish I had owned a camera then.  I do not think we have a picture anywhere of Christmas morning at our house.  But those days are as clear in my memory as if they were happening today.  One year it was an orange (always it was an orange), a book of paper dolls to cut out, and a red ball.  Once when times were really good, I got a tin  miniature doll house with miniature furniture and tiny mother, father, boy, girl and dog.  It even had a tiny patio!

Those memories are best left locked in the back of my mind if I want to be in any kind of mood to be festive today.  Why is it that the past, that was so stark and depressing, is the time we yearn for in our heart of hearts?  I think it is like my mother said, "You grew up with that.  That was your normal life.  The tasteless food is what you ate for years and since that is what you know, that is what you want."  My mother was the wisest woman in the whole world and I miss her with my whole heart, especially today. 

Christmas is about the Christ Child and it is about reaching down deep inside yourself and remembering.  I know the greatest honor I can pay my mother is to never forget my roots; to always know that the generations that went before me left a legacy that I must carry on.  I must and have tried to teach my children that we came from good stock and our roots run deep in forgein lands.  Our life is founded on honesty, truth, compassion and a steadfast beleif in God.

And that, my friends is what Christmas is all about!  Welcome Christ Child!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Twenty-seven years ago today.

Twenty-seven years ago today it was 15 degrees below zero.  There was snow on the ground and the drive line was out on one of our trucks.  Bet you think I  have total recall?  No, just some days I can actually remember better than others.

You see, at that time I was a living in sin with a man and had been for over a year.  I do not have a very good track record with the men, you know.  Seems to me that the quickest way to turn one of those fellows from a saint to a raging lunatic is to slip a ring on that third finger, left hand.  This guy was perfect.  We had the same sense of humor, same goals in life, both loved to fish, I liked his kids, they tolerated me, my kids liked him and so there was just one problem.  Could this match that seemed made in heaven remain so if it were on a 24/7 basis.

Our solution was to live together for one year and if at the end of that year we still felt the same, we would do the deed, so to speak.  So we found this little place back here on a back acre with a huge garage.  House was nothing to write home about and was in fact, not finished.  They had put a door on the bathroom and that was it for the inside.  They were getting a divorce and the price was right.  But the best part was a huge two story garage in the back that was a trucker's dream.  So we combined his house and mine into one household and set up housekeeping.

Now, I need to tell you this one little thing, Kenny was not near as liberal minded as I was.  He did not like Mexicans, Negroes, or Gays.  Well, it seems I had all those in my family and he tolerated them well.   OOPS! His daughter divorced her white guy and married an Indian!  Well, by now we were looking like the United Nations around here.  Dinner at our house on holidays looked like Calico Bean Soup!

So on December 23, 1983 we were working an Eby pipeline job down the center of Prairie.  The job was shut down for the holidays.  One of our tandems had broken a drive line so Kenny and Gene Baugh had taken it out the day before and dropped it off to be rebuilt at Pueblo Brake and Clutch.  December 23 they went to Pueblo Brake and Clutch to pick it up and they were closed for their Christmas party!  It being 15 degrees below zero the little guys decided to call it a day.  Gene went home and Kenny came in the house.  I can never forget that romantic little fellow that day.

He walked in, looked at me and said,( and this is a direct quote ) "Well, let's go get this shittin' mess over with!"  Now how could a woman of my stature resist  a proposal like that!

Luckily I had a new pair of jeans and his were passable.  So off we went to Canon City, thirty five miles west of here.  Now why we did not just go to town is more than I can figure out, but Canon it was.  We picked up our license and were referred to a Senior Citizen assisted living place somewhere and assured we could find a minister there.  We did.    The minister told us to come back at 4:00 and he would be ready.  So we went and got a doughnut at the doughnut shop and returned at the appointed time.

As you know, at that time we needed 2 witnesses.  His wife was bedridden and we had to poke our head around the corner so she could see us before she would sign.  The second one was somebody wandering the halls and we never laid eyes on her.  But by then the ceremony (?) was complete, we paid our fee and came home.  Do not remember the ministers name, where we were or any of the particulars, but I know it was cold!  We came home and found a bottle of wine on the kitchen table.  Seems Gene had figured out what we were up to that cold day!  I might add that several months later we asked Gene if he would like to have a glass since it had not been opened yet and his reply was (another direct quote) "Oh shit!  If I knew I had to drink it I would have gotten the good stuff!"

We did finally talk a son-in-law (since replaced) into doing it for us.  He shook it up, popped the cork and shot me in the head with it.  Gotta' love these kids!

And to any one who wonders if it was worth it all, it sure was.  Those twenty years were what made me the woman I am today.  Kenny Mercer was the person in my life who reached inside me and brought out the good.  He was the man who gave me the self esteem to say "Yes, I can!"  He gave me a home and security and the means to be independent.  He gave me common sense to make the right decisions on this road alone.  He was not much of a church going guy, but he went with me lot.  Pastor Faye baptised him.

Now, I do need to tell you this.  He did not do all the teaching.  As time went by my bigoted, racist, Republican husband became an open and affirming member of society.  He was the first to jump on the band wagon for gay rights,
the first to defend the migrant population, and his grand kids were the greatest things on earth what ever color they were.  He went from being a staunch Republican to being an Independent and bless his little Democratic heart when it stopped beating.

So that is my tale.  Life for me this time of year gets a little melancholy, but I think Garth Brooks says it all in his song, part of which says something like this, "Some things are better left to chance, I could have missed it all, but I'd a had to miss The Dance!"
 
That part of the dance is over.  Not forgotten and the strains of the music still play in my head, and I fully expect to hear it when I waltz off the edge of this realm and into that great beyond.  I have the belief that life is meant to be just that! Do not light your candle and hide it under a bushel!  Put it on a hill where the whole world can benefit from your light.  I learned that in Sunday school more years ago then I care to remember.  That and "Life goes on."

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The potato is growing! Better hurry!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=180601681132&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT

See that link right there?  That is for the hottest item on eBay today and time is running out!  Anyone who knows me also knows my passion for the Southern Colorado AIDS Project.  I thought I would like a little potato soup and here was this little fellow, just begging to be picked.

This guy is sprouting so I can not guarantee anything except that it is a potato.  It is injured as all of our hearts are at one time or another.  Why am I telling you this?  Go see this prize for yourself and somebody better get to bidding.

I am going to have an auction a month and lord only knows what will turn up next!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Oh, look at what day it is!!! I did it again. Curses!

Curses!! Foiled again!  Today is December 17.  In one week is Christmas and at least the tree is up.  Only because Bret and Amanda drug it out of the box, hit it a lick with the air compressor and ran around it with a string of lights.  Now I distinctly remember last year swearing that this would not happen this year. And yet here I am and the only thing under that tree is a brown box and in the box is Bret's birthday present, which is tomorrow!  Now the birthday is covered.  They got paid yesterday and when they went grocery shopping they brought home a chocolate cake laden with chocolate frosting and swirls.  My God!  I can hear my arteries slamming shut thinking about that thing!  But there it is.  When the boy turns 19 the mother/birthday party, per se, is a thing of the past.  Oh, damn good thing!

Now back to this dilemma of the Christmas that has once more crept up on me.  I do not know how it does this year after year.  And of course my back has chosen this time to have one of it's little spasming drop me to my knees three times a day spells that it has on occasions when I am unduly stressed. So, I got to think here.

First stop will be Vitamin Cottage.  They had burlap Eco bags out there with heavy rope handles.  I bought 2 so I need to go back and buy 14 more of those bags.  Then 16 pounds of mixed beans at Mauro Farms.  Dig out 16 quart jars and 16 pint jars.  32 towels. Soap, lotion and body butter with a couple Lip balms and that takes care of the immediate big kids.  Then the 20 smaller grand kids and great grand kids I will make glycerin soap with a $5 bill inside.  That only leaves 7 odd sized kids to do for.  Big kids always appreciate the soap and stuff and let's face it, you can not buy anything this good anywhere but my house!

Oh, then comes my menagerie of token friends who get just a tiny love gift.  One year I donated a flock of chickens to Heifer International for  all the adults and they looked at me like I was nuts.  I felt good though and some body somewhere got an egg out of the deal! 

OK, I can see that I do not have time to set here and gas on this thing.  Oh, crap!  Now it is snowing.  Now I will have to drive very carefully so I do not slip into someone.  Can not put this off.  I am on a mission!  Now, next year, I am definitely going to be prepared.  Do not paint me the procrastinator just yet.  Where there is life, there is hope.


This is my new shopping network.  Let me know if it works!http://www.biggestshoppingstore.com/?a_aid=1880

Monday, December 13, 2010

It can only happen in Pueblo, Colorado.

I had forgotten about this until just now.  A week or so ago John, Linda and I went to the Chinese Restaurant to eat.  Nothing new and startling about that, at least not until the bill came.  As you know it is almost always accompanied by a fortune cookie.  They are fun little things to read and can usually elicit a chuckle at the very least.  Some of them even try to teach you a word of Chinese in the process.  Not so in this particular restaurant.

On the one side was what ever it said for the fortune and on the back it was repeated in Spanish.  Now luckily John is a Spanish speaking fellow, or sort of anyway.  He can interpret , but does not actually speak it.  He said it was a literal translation.  So I am a wondering how this Spanish fortune cookie ended up on our table.  In our usual haphazard fashion we managed to exit the place leaving the Spanish fortune cookies crumbled on the table and the fortunes were among our litter. 

Just wondered if any of you had ever had anything like that happen to you in your neck of the woods.

Friday, December 10, 2010

No Disneyland for my kids and they survived!

I was downstairs just now pinning a quilt in the quilter and had one of my epiphany's.  I just love that word!  So, anyway, I had the television on and heard the announcer say something about a trip to Disneyland for some little kids who were very ill.  It was then I thought how nice that was that the little kiddies can go there and have fun.  Flash back to my children.  I raised five of those suckers and never even thought about Disneyland.  Assuming it had been invented at the time.

But we have to go back further.  All my children were fathered by my first husband, the drop dead gorgeous German guy who thought Hitler was the smartest man that ever lived.  I have always had an infinity for the German guys, but Hitler was so wrong!   My roots go back to the Black Forest and the Erms, so I think that is where that comes from.  Well anyway, after 11 years we decided to split everything in half and call it a bad experience.  So I walked out with a 1957 Chevy and 5 kids.  He got the tree business and his freedom.  Seemed fair to me.  When it came time for child support, he explained to me that he did not want the divorce, so he should not have to pay alimony or child support.  That made sense to me, so that is how it stood.  Back in those days you could do that.

Now understand this, when I struck out on my own with 5 kids to take care of, I did not have a high school diploma and knew how to do jack as far as supporting myself went.  Ever hear the saying "Ignorance is bliss?"  Very true in my case.  I got a job waiting tables.  I then went to work at the Red Carpet Restaurant as a short order cook, moved up to head cook and then manager.  Had a disagreement with the boss so went across town and bought my own place. The rest is history.  Got married, got divorced, got married, moved to Colorado, got divorced, got married, got divorced, got married, got widowed and here I am.  But I digress. 

I look back on raising the kids there in Hutchinson, Kansas and wonder just what kind of mother I really was.   I know I never took them to Disneyland, but I did take them fishing!  Every Sunday in the summer we would go by a place on Second Street and pick up 6 hamburgers and french fries for $1.00.  Name of the place was  B & D Carryout.  We then headed out to the Arkansas River, or behind the Bible Camp on Cow Creek. Once we went to Dodge's Sand Pit and I caught a very big Channel Cat.  Put it in the freezer and the kids fed it to the cats.  So, here is the question I have for you.  Today all my kids love to fish.  I think even Sam thinks about it sometimes.  Now had I taken them to Disneyland would that have made an impression on them  in a very lasting way?

I look back on those years and know that had I been depositing the child support check instead of the check from my second and third jobs I might have been able to give the kids more, but would that have made me a better mother?  Their dad took them on vacations.  He came and spent time with them.  They went to his home in Garden City and stayed sometimes and as they grew older spent more time with him.  We never pushed and pulled the kids.  Just told them when they got older they would understand and I think they pretty much do now.  They are all successful in one way or another. 

Sam put himself through college and is financially successful.  Dona put herself through Cosmetology School and has her own shop in Lakin.  Patty is retired from the Library.  Debbie is a survivalist in eastern Kansas and could build you a house from tin cans!  Sue is here in town and is self sufficient.  There are all honest, tax paying,  hard working, caring, self sufficient human beings.  They all love me as their mother and while Dad has been gone for many years, I still see  shades of him in all of them.

So, did they miss out by not going to Disneyland?  Or, and I just thought of this, maybe they went!  Maybe their dad took them.  I guess I never really asked them!  The point I am getting to, and I always have one you know, is this, I did the best I could with the tools and the knowledge I had at that time.  It is always easy to look back and see how it should have been done.  I sometimes wonder if I knew way back then, what I know now, just how my life would have played out on the big screen?  I should not have ever married the first one, but then I would have no kids.  Don't want that.    Everything and everyone that has touched my life, however briefly,  has made me exactly who I am today.  So if you love me today, you have to love the past that brought me to this point.

Don't ask me for all my little dark secrets, cause I have forgotten most of them.  Can't get the toothpaste back in the tube and not sure I want to try.  Just know that I will love each and everyone of you just exactly as you are with all your idiosyncrasies and I ask that you make me the same deal.  When you look at Lou, what you see is what you get!  I may come with baggage, but I carry it well!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

This was last year's Christmas Tree!

Now even I have to admit that is a sad sight for a Christmas Tree!  That was last year and this year is shaping up to be a little bit better.  This poor dead tree is laying out by the trash barrel and is well on it's way to becoming compost!  Bret and Amanda have the big tree up over there where the treadmill is so we are good to go.  Course if someone hits the button the tree is going to shoot out through the front window.

Today would have been Kenny's birthday, had he hung around, but we know he did not.  Being a widow pretty much sucks if you want to know the truth of the whole matter.  Divorces are so cathartic!  Mother always told me, when I was ranting and raving  about something one of the idiot husbands had done to bring about the latest divorce, "If you are ever a widow your husband will take on sainthood."  Mothers are always right!  I do not understand that, though, because I am a mother and I am not always right!  I digress.

I have been alone 7 years.  That is a long time.  From Thanksgiving until the end of January, I pretty much stay in a funk.  I had lunch yesterday with a minister friend and he was telling me how lackadaisical he has been the last few weeks.  We talked a bit and then he mentioned his mother had been gone just one year.  I then explained to him how the grief cycle works.  Anniversaries are just that.  We may not even realize, but when we put our finger on it, we know.

So does life go on?  Sure it does.  We mark one month, then one year, then 5 years, and so it goes.  What is our alternative?  There is none.  Do our memories become less acute?  Sure they do.  What was raw emotion fades to a dull ache and that eventually turns into just another day.  Another page on the calendar and just another day to get through.  Sometimes I actually think I am going to be happy again, someday.  For now it will just have to do that the Christmas Tree is up and I think it is pretty.  I will spend more time in church this season and do a little more volunteer work.  I am actually going to Colorado Springs for the volunteer party at SCAP.  Never did that before, but Linda is insisting on it this time.

So as we enter this Holy Season, I want to tell you Merry Christmas way early.  I will miss Kenny this year, but I miss him every day anyway.  I think all the little fellow ever wanted was for me to be happy, so after seven long years I am going to work on that and it is going to start this Christmas.  I have friends and family.  I have people who love me and need me and if I can spread the cheer, that is what it is all about.  And remember,
Jesus is the reason for the season!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Icarus at work!

 This is Icarus!  This is my calico cat that loves me to distraction!  It is about 5:00 AM and we just got up a little bit ago.  See, what you do not know, and can not see because I can not take a picture of us in bed is that I sleep on my side and she sleeps on my shoulder!  At some point I will wake up enough to push her off my arm.  She then puts her nose against my nose and gives me tiny licks. It is at this point I remember where that tongue has been and cover my head up.  She will then content herself with laying with both front paws on my hands and we drift off again.

Now I know you people out there are wise in the ways of the world as well as the workings of the feline creatures we call our friends.  And indeed, they are our friends!  Icarus does not go out and catch mice simply to be catching a mouse.  She knows I am incapable of catching one, so she does it for me. 
She  loves me!  Now I have told you the sleeping arrangements here, so tell me this......what goes on while I am sleeping?  I can only hope she does not think I want dinner when I am laying there with my mouth agape snoring.  That could be a very rude awakening.  And she does not know that I have never eaten a centipede!  I am afraid to tell her for fear she will misinterpret that as meaning I am feeling adventurous and might like to munch on one! 
 Now you see her reading her notebook here.  How she gets in that little hole between the monitor and all my very important notes I wish I knew!  The modem is back there and apparently she knows that I need to leave that plugged in so she leaves it alone.  The cursor catches her attention fairly easily as does the letters marching across the screen.  She puts her nose right on the screen and I can come up with some interesting writing if one finger wanders.  I tell myself she is reading what I write!  I am very glad I kicked in the extra money for the larger monitor so she could see better!
I came home the other night after dark and saw two sets of eyes out by the duck house.  You know how big those eyes look in your headlights!  I thought it was a couple mountain lions, but it turned out Icarus had a friend over to scout out the place.  It was the neighbors calico, so she is keeping good company!  She goes out to the fowl house with me every morning and evening when I do chores.  One morning she thought she might like to sneak up on one of the ducks.  Goosey Gander seen her and came up behind her!  When Icarus spotted him she shot about 8 feet straight up in the air!  Never have a camera when I need it most!

Now I will give you a few facts and then get out of here.  Calico cats are to the best of my knowledge always female.  Cats are very clean animals especially when you take into consideration that they go in their litter box for their toilette, walk across it and then proceed to lick there feet.  Then they want to come and kiss us.  Cats can be devoted to us and still remain completely independent.  Most aloof animals on the face of God's green earth.  While cats and dogs seem to be mortal enemies, mine will all sleep on the same pillow.  Icarus got her bluff in early!

I do know the name Icarus comes from a Greek God or something of the male persuasion and was someone that flew to close to the sun and melted his wings.  She was actually named by a "person of interest" who is no longer in my life, but I left her named Icarus just to remind me of why he is no longer in my life!  So, I am out of here, but on my way out the door, I want to share with you what someone shared with me.....

In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king!

Just think about that!

SCAP is represented here at World AIDS Day.

Here is the Southern Colorado AIDS Project table, although in all honesty it is now known as Southern Colorado Health Network operating as SCAP or vice versa.  I forget.  When I started my volunteer work there more years ago than I like to admit it was SCAP and so that is how I will remember it and that is the name I will use because it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks.  Arf! Arf!

Starting with the back row we have John Mark Hild, minister at the Metropolitan Community Church here in our fair city.  Next is me and then my com padre, Aaron. Aaron is my buddy and makes me laugh like a loon!  Not often I find someone with a mind that works like mine!  See the back row all has on the Focus shirt.  We do that so we remember who we are.

On the front row on the left is the lovely Linda Lorraine, SCAP case manager and other things.  She is our stabilizing force and we love her.  She is always there when we need her, and she is there when we do not need her, and when we need her, but don't know we need her.  The woman is what you call "devoted".  That happens in this business.  Show up a few times and pretty soon you feel like you are needed!

And last but certainly not least is Bill Sharpton.  He works in the Colorado Springs office which is our boss.  I do not know exactly what his title is, but  do know he is single!  His sister was a very good friend of mine and I miss her so much.  Somewhere I have pictures of Marty and the big red turkey that liked to come visit at my house, especially when Marty was there.  That turkey loved that girl and tried to set on her lap and I have pictures of that little endeavour. 

OK, there you have us in all our glory.  Motley looking crew that we are!  Hey, we try!  If we could clone these four people here we could set this world on fire because these are some of the best Colorado has to offer and I am damn glad to be standing in the middle of the finest Colorado has to offer! 

It seems as I wind this down that I have been given a most rare opportunity to work side by side with some of the greatest people on this earth.  In all my years of bopping around with the SCAP crowd, the Pueblo Community Health Center, Pueblo Health Department, the Gay Community..........I am sorry!  The whole of Southern Colorado is tied together and I can not name names without missing some one or some place.  Just know if you are reading this, Lou Mercer loves everyone of you and I thank God every day that he put everyone of you in my path!

Together we are going to fight the good fight and since we are all winners, you know what that means!








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Sunday, December 5, 2010

Home is where the heart is.

The other day, well today actually , I received an email from a friend and in it he was explaining to me where his home was located and the layout of his home.  He also said it was in the ghetto, but he was happy there.  I told him that home is where the heart is and that got me to thinking.  Where is my heart?  Where is the one place that is my sanctuary, that I feel safe and loved and wanted?  After much soul searching, I know.

Where I am now is a very nice house and I have an acre of land.  Not big enough for anything, but a little too big for nothing.  This house is solid, warm in the winter and cool in the summer.  I am located so I get very little traffic and it is quiet.  No one comes here unless I draw them a map and then they get lost.  I am almost secluded, but the neighbors know I am here and watch out for me.  That is good.  But where is my heart?

It is in Nickerson, Kansas at 709 Strong Street.  That was my ghetto; my wrong side of the tracks. It did not have running water.  We heated with a wood stove and cooked on a wood stove in the kitchen.  The out house was on the back of the lot.  Sears catalog and the whole bit.  Those were just the times.  I think we were the only street in town that was that far back in time, but there you have it.  Now you may ask why anyone in their right mind would go back to a hovel like that and I am here to tell you.

We were all there together.  Momma cleaned houses and put food on the table.  Cereal was cheap back then and we ate a lot of that and other grains.  Apples and Carp (You know that bony trash fish that other people throw away.)  We had fried apples, baked apples, boiled apples, apple sauce and I do not to this day eat a cooked apple in any way shape or form.  Don't eat Carp either.  Those are nasty!  Dad was there in his own little way.  He share cropped with a farmer and he was one of the last to give up the team of horses (and only then because they died of old age ) and never bought a tractor.

My baby sister Dorothy was there with her big brown eyes and dimples.  Mary was there with her long beautiful hair and her petite little body.  Donna was the serious one who ate the middle out of the loaf of bread after school.  My brother Jake was there and had not gone to the Army yet which he did by altering  his birth certificate at the age of  16.  Josephine had not eloped  yet. 

We had clod fights.  We walked to the sand pit.  I fished off the Bull Creek bridge while Jake and his buddies swam naked in a hole a little further upstream.  We had two creeks in Nickerson, Bull Creek and Cow Creek.  Also had the Arkansas River.  Every spring they flooded and isolated the town.  In the winter the Arkansas froze and had to be dynamited.  Old Black Joe lived on the river in a pile of lumber and made silver jewelry with turquoise stones and he was Jake's friend.  Momma was mortified to find out Jake hung out with the likes of him.  He died on the river.
We never had a dog.  Never had a cat.  Jake and I listened to the Grand Ole Opry on the car radio because the radio in the kitchen would not pick it up.  WSM in Nashville as I recall.  We had electricity eventually and got a pump in the kitchen.  The out house remained.  I attended Elementary school in Nickerson and went to 2 1/2 years of high school there. Came back to there after living with my Grandma my first  half of my Freshman year.  Smoked my first cigarette there.  Learned about God and salvation there.  Forgot about it there. Won a three speed English racing bike there by getting the most "Our Family" labels off of canned goods.  Flew my kite into a tree at the cemetery and could not get it down.  Watered the sweet potatoes and a spider got on my foot.  Momma had her hysterectomy there when I was in the seventh grade. 

The Reinke girls lived next door with their dad because their mom had died when the youngest was born.  I was glad my momma was still alive.  If we wanted ice for the ice box we had a card to put in the window with how much we wanted right side up.  All the doors used a skeleton key and you didn't lock the door because everybody had a skeleton key.  Whittling  Joe and Johnny Carson lived up on the highway and they let the chickens come in there house. Pop was a nickle and that was a lot of money. Ora Ayers rode her stick horse because she wasn't quite right in the head.  And we better be good cause the Gypsy's were camped outside of town and might come steal us.  We were poor, but poor was a state of mind.  There were people who had less then us

When I can not sleep, I walk the streets of Nickerson, Kansas.  I pass the feed store, the grocery store, the church and I say my prayers and fall into the most blissful sleep.

So my memories go on and on.  My ghetto lives in my heart and mind and everything I am today and will be in the future is because I was there and it impacts me forever.  So find your ghetto, or grotto, or wherever your safe place is and hang on to it with both hands.  It is your heritage.  It is your lifeline.  When life is stripped away and I stand before my maker, I know he will see a skinny knock kneed little girl with tangled hair and dirty bare feet and he will say, "Get in here you little urchin!  I been waiting for you to get home!"
And I will waltz in those pearly gates and up those streets of gold just like I belonged there.  Nickerson, Kansas is a state of mind!

And now, the candle light service for World AIDS Day.

This is our tree all decorated on December 1, 2010.  The red ribbons each have at least one name of someone who has been claimed by AIDS.  We were inside for the program and when it was over we picked up a candle and wrote a name on a ribbon and processed out to the amphitheater.  When we got outside the candles were lit, because there was some sort of something in balloons and the community college did not want us waving flamesaround. 

                                Up on top there is my friend Diane from the Indian Nation who is also the nurse at the Pueblo Community Health Center who holds sway at the Collaborative Clinic.  She is in her native dress and the woman is a real beauty.  And want to know something else?  She has a twin sister so if you happen to have access to this album you will see a close up of her also.  If you look back there behind Eddie Three Eagles and to the right of the drummer you can see them.  Aren't they cute?


So, anyway, after we got outside, we hung our ribbons on the tree and said aloud the names that we were placing there.  I only did two names this year.  I get tired of putting my friends on a tree.  I guess I am selfish that way and over the years my list has gotten so long that it is redundant.  I always do Mark though, because he was such a vital part of my life for so many years.

After the candles were lit and the ribbons hung, and the names said, Eddie Three Eagles purified the ground and then blessed the tree.  He then sang Amazing Grace in his native tongue and then we joined him as he sang it again.  That was  so moving! 

When the whole thing was over everyone went around in a collapsing circle.  Another moving thing.  When we went inside we lingered just long enough to pass out the hugs and Eddie Three Eagles gave me a peck on the cheek!  Hugs from everyone and home after a very long and rewarding day.

December 1 will come again!  It always does and it will always be World AIDS Day.  Next year I suggest you find a candlelight observance some where near you and attend.  There will be one, of that I am sure because the world is full of Lou's and John's and Erik's, and Annalees.  Call your Art Center, or your Health Department and if no one can help you do it yourself.  Our first observance was at our Arts Center outside in the freezing cold, but we were there and for this disease to ever be overcome it has to be out there and it has to be talked about.  People have to be educated and it starts with the young ones. 

Our testing at the college turned up not one single case of HIV.  Do you think that was an accident?

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Along the Malecón: Florida lawmaker pressures Hungary on Cuba

Along the Malecón: Florida lawmaker pressures Hungary on Cuba

I know you were expecting something else here today, but I just caught this link and I find it very interesting. I know from reading my stats that there are a lot of you out there interested in cuba. My friend Tracey Eaton writes a very clear view of what goes on in Cuba on a political as well as a personal level. On his sight there is also a link to the daily mini blog in the New York Times.

If you go back to some of his older blogs you can see some of the most beautiful pictures of Cuban life.  That alone is worth the trip across cyberspace.

Check him out and we will get back to World AIDS Day a little later. And tell him Lou said "Hey!"

Friday, December 3, 2010

Johnson and Johnson isn't just baby products anymore!

You always thought Johnson and Johnson made baby products, didn't you?  Well just guess again!  These are two of the most prestigious people to walk through my life and I want to tell you about them.  Now you see there are three people there, so I will introduce you to them, starting on the left, because that is how it is always done and you know me, a stickler for protocol!

On the left is Merilou Johnson, MSW, MPA who I barely know. Her official title is Program Director Colorado AIDS Education Training Center.   I just met her Wednesday, so like a good little girl I thought I better figure this out quick!  I knew by the very virtue of her being here she was important, and right I was.  Those letter behind her name mean she is very educated in public service both on the social level and public administration.  See when you see an M like that it means Master and that is top of the line. Since I only met her briefly, I do not know her well, but I would dearly love to set and visit with her after researching her with my able Google toolbar.  This woman can tell us some tales I am sure and is a vital part of this continuing fight against this disease that I seem to have landed in the middle of for some reason.  To Merilou I say, "I would love to visit with you , but I was stuck at the tables.  Please forgive me for not being there."

The next lovely little creature in this little threesome is Annalee Beck, EIS Program Director at Pueblo Community Health Center.  EIS means Early Intervention Services.  Many years ago and I mean like maybe eight (?) this service was set up specifically for the HIV/AIDS community.  As I recall I was there for the first few initial meetings but that was just to whine about not having something for the clients. This town will do anything to shut me up when I start that.  I am so happy that bigger and brighter minds then mine prevailed and a program with Annalee at the helm and PCHC at her back and Dr. Johnson and Dr. Swartz beside her has brought first class health care to my friends.  There is also a most able staff there and I would be remiss to start naming names without a full list in front of me.  I only know JoAnne and Diane personally.  I will get that full slate and thank them properly in this tiny blog. Hats off to PCHC and all the little people!

And now we come to the love of my life, Dr. Steve Johnson, MD.  Isn't he the most handsome thing you ever laid eyes on in your whole life?  That little MD on the end of is name is so inadequate to describe this larger than life icon in the field of HIV/AIDS.  His official title is Professor & Director of Infectious Disease, University of Colorado.  This man is world reknowned for his work in this field and he was most instrumental in setting up and staffing our EIS Program. I know he comes down from Denver on a regular basis to meet with clients and he and Dr. Swartz confer on every aspect of client care. While I could go on all day about this man's accomplishments I know I would miss some and I do not want to do that!  What I want to do is tell you that this is one of the kindest, most caring men that God ever put on this earth and I thank him every day for sending Dr. Steve Johnson into my life, Mark's life and everyone in Pueblo, Colorado that is touched by this man's hand.  If there is ever a cure for this scourge on human life this man will be the first to know and it will be delivered to his people that same day.  Kinda like Moses bringing down the tablets!  I love you, man!

There you have it.  I know Pueblo is a backward little town, and we operate under the auspices of Colorado Springs offices and we get our funding through them.  Colorado Springs is big and we are little, but let me tell you this......We have had or EIS program eight years; Colorado Springs got theirs one and a half years ago.  Maybe they just didn't need one as bad as we did. 

These three angels are standing in front of the Pueblo AIDS Memorial Quilt.  I don't know if Colorado Springs has anything like this, but if Bill or Richard would get in touch with me I would be most happy to help them start one.  We have had ours since 1996 and it is a wonderful way for people to connect and express feelings.

Alrighty then!  Better get out of here before I fill up cyber space!  See you tomorrow for another little lesson in World AIDS Day 2010!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

The testing part of World AIDS Day and a girl named Melissa.

As you know, December 1 was World AIDS Day, and we were off to do our thing at the Community College.  I promised a report, but this is one that is going to be made in about 4 entries as I want to try to do justice to each part.  Our focus this year was on testing.  Pueblo Community Health Center, Southern Colorado AIDS Project, and MPACT all had testing on site and it was free!  Now, you are going to be amazed at the changes in the world today.  Well, maybe you aren't, but I sure was.

First off, piercing through the eyebrows, lips, nose, eyelids and through the ears are all considered normal.  My thoughts on this is "If God wanted holes in my body he would have got out his drill!"   Now as to the dress code.  Remember how the boys used to wear their jeans baggy and way down their hips?  Now they wear what is called "Skinnies".  I know this because John told me. I digress!  Back to my purpose here on this blog.

So there were 8 long tables here in the foyer and we all advertised free HIV testing and our job was to reel in the students, talk to them about safe sex and the end goal was to get them tested!  I was absolutely amazed at our reception.  Here we have mere babes in arms being counseled on how to have safe sex by an old woman who would not have even said the word out loud 20 years ago.
They all left with a handful of condoms and a goodly portion of them headed upstairs to learn their fate.  That trip usually lasted about 20 minutes if they waited for results.  Then they would come by the table and poke out their finger with the band aid and I would give them a high five. If they did not want to go upstairs they were given a card for free testing at the Health Center.  Walk in.  Anytime.

I noticed one young girl visiting the tables and you know how you can just tell sometimes?  She finally came to my table.  I told her my spiel.  Free HIV testing and then I went a step further with her and engaged her in conversation.  I told her if she had sex she needed to be tested.  She told me she was pretty sure her boyfriend was faithful and I told her he probably was, but this is her body to take care of and protect.  "Take the test and if it comes back negative you can breathe a sigh of relief.  If it comes back positive then you got an early start and we will cross that bridge, but the unknown will do you in."  Only with this girl did I leave my table and walk her up the stairs and personally deliver her to "the room".  Of course I could not stay with her due to privacy issues.  So I went down to my table to wait.

The goal in testing is it is part of education.  There are people out there who think AIDS has been cured.  They think it is not the problem it used to be.  And it is definitely different.  People used to die of AIDS Related Complications or ARC.  But now we have high powered drugs that make the body toxic and in so doing suppress the viral load and build the immune system.  Now the cause of death is Heart Failure, Liver Failure, Cancer, Lymphoma, and any disease that can come in under the radar.  AIDS always wins in the end.  Always.

Along with the AIDS test comes counseling. Now this whole process takes about 30 minutes from the needle stick till you get your results.  Do you think anyone is going to leave that room and go have unprotected sex again without thinking about it? That would be just like setting there looking at a ticking time bomb and trying to figure out just when it is going to blow. Your whole life is now hanging on the word "if", the longest word in the English language.  I am pretty sure I would change a few habits I carried for years if I had thought about them a little more!

It seemed that waiting for Melissa to reappear was one of the longest waits of my life.  I had formed an instant bond with this little waif and I must confess I may have said a prayer or two inside my head that not our will but thine  be done.  I felt a personal connection to all the kids I sent upstairs, but it was just special with Melissa. I wanted them all to be alright, but especially this little girl with the sad eyes.

And my patience was rewarded after due time.  I knew when Melissa started down the stairs what the news was!  She was negative!  So I gave her a card for the Health Center testing with instructions to get that boyfriend in and get him tested or I would be paying him a visit.  Then I told her,  "I am going to write about you on my blog, but look, no pictures.  And I will change your name."  Then I gave her a card and I just want her to say this to her.....

"Melissa, it was wonderful to meet you yesterday.  You reflect the innocence of youth and the hope for the future.  It is women like you who hold the key to ending this epidemic that grows every year.  You can talk to your friends about safe sex and convince them that their bodies are theirs to protect and as women it is our duty.  AIDS is not gender specific, it is not a GAY disease and it respects no boundaries.  If your boyfriend thinks a condom is uncomfortable, what does he think full blown AIDS would be?  You can help me do this.  And you can have your friends talk to their friends and soon we will be an army of women marching shoulder to shoulder ...."

My God!  I am woman hear me roar!  I feel sooooo Helen Reddy!

In an ironical twist of fate there were in the neighborhood of 70 tests given yesterday and not one positive in the whole college!  To me that was absolutely amazing. This group of people that I thought was the party crowd, clothing optional, pass the bong turns out to be responsible citizens of society.  Well, I for one feel a little better about my future.

And I want to send a plea out to my Melissa and all the other Melissa's out there and the little gay guy and the macho football player and anyone else who will listen to me....I need you!  Southern Colorado AIDS Project needs you.  The Community Health Center needs you.  We need warm bodies to help us.  We are overwhelmed.  Linda Lorraine at SCAP particularly needs help answering the phone and always something to be done.  Do this.  See down below this where it says send a comment?  Send me a message.  If you do not want it published just say so and it will be our little secret.  If we keep talking we can conquer the world!

I do not remember who said this, but I remember it being said:
No man is an island....

P.S.  I give a social luncheon on the second Tuesday of every month at the SCAP office.  Everyone is welcome.  Come and meet some of the clients that eat with me.  They are wonderful people and this will put a face on this disease.  We even have a tiny baby to play with!  It starts at 11:30.  Oh, but I am skipping December because the Springs office caters that one for Christmas!  Well not skipping, but being lazy.  I will be there with the cookie bags from PFLAG.  Call me!  I am lonely!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Oh, finally got something done with that damned hair!

Do you see who this is? This is my friend Trisha! Trisha just finished giving me a permanent and making me very beautiful! See, today I decided that I had all I could take of my hair poking out here and there and needing cut, so I took myself to the city. And it was there that she took me to her chair and worked her magic. She is a novice in that she barely started there. Her daughter will finish in March. Then daughter will start a shop probably on the south end of Colorado Springs and Trisha will go help her when she graduates in August. And then another daughter will do massage, so I am staying in tight with this bunch!

But this place and I go back a lot further than today.  See, many, many years ago, when I was first separated from my very first husband and waiting tables at Skaets Steak Shop in Hutchinson, Kansas, that self same husband was drunk out here in Pueblo, Colorado. Ah, the plot thickens.

This man found his way to this shop and to the man who at the time ran the Center Beauty College.  Frank Schultz was a very kind and gentle man, but he had a mission in life. Well, actually two missions. The first was to teach young girls how to be cosmetologists and do it at a very reasonable charge to them. His second was to sober up men he found and put them to work. That business was called Center Tree Service and the first husband was a tree trimmer. Frank did indeed sober the little fellow up and put him on the road to recovery. Unfortunately, we never made it that far, but such is life.

Years later I came to Pueblo. I remembered Frank Schultz and went in to get my hair done cheap! My daughter, Dona enrolled in his Beauty College and when she went to State Boards I was her model.  I then modeled for 2 more students and that was fun. I got facials, manicures, fake fingernails and it cost me nothing!  Course I let them practice on me once a week, but I had to leave the hair cause when you went to State Boards the student had to cut off at least an inch and you better have it to spare!

Dear, dear Frank Schultz passed to his much deserved reward three years ago, but Center Beauty College lives on in the graceful and very beautiful form of his daughter, Leasa Wood.  Cici is still there as the most able receptionist in Pueblo, Colorado. She has held that post for 38 years, if you can believe that! She could tell some tales, I am sure.

Center Beauty College is still located at 228 West Third in downtown Pueblo.  Right there on the corner where it has been for 38 years.  The phone number is 542-3833.  Poke that little number in and go get a haircut at a reasonable price, or do like I did and go top of the line permanent for $30.00.  It is a bargain for you and the students need some one to practice their craft on.  A boon to both of you.

So, here I set, all dressed up with no where to go!  But bet I could if I wanted to cause I am lookin' good and feelin' fine and it is thanks to Trisha, and the whole crew at Center Beauty College!
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World AIDS Day planning committee at work!

Here we are at Joe's Coffee Shop in the basement of Pueblo Community College.  This is our first year to  be on the campus at PCC and I must say it has been a real treat!  They have been most accommodating and the friendliest  people I have come across in a very long time.  Why it just makes me want to go back to school!

First I have to tell you who all these people are and if I knew I would sure share that with you.  Not really.  I did not get my little release like I need to go around the table naming names, so I am just going to point out a few.  Needless to say they are all friends of mine !  OK, top picture.  See that kid on the right with the dark shirt and glasses?  That is John.  He is on the National Quality Center Consumer Advisory Council Steering Committee.  Quite a prestigious fellow.  We just went and had Chinese before we came so he is probably dozing off, but more about him in another post.  The empty chair is mine.  The two ladies on the left are with PCHC. One is our co leader along with John.

Bottom picture on the right is Eric.  We used to go to church together, but I changed.  The lady with her back to me is one of the PCC Staff who is most kind.  Another one is behind her head.  The lady on the left is with Pueblo City/County Health Department.  So there you have a loose accounting of the people it takes to plan an event of this magnitude and actually pull it off with any degree of decorum.  Tomorrow is our test!!

Events will start at 9:00 AM and run until 7:30 PM.  Pueblo Community Health Center will offer free testing the first part of the day and then SCAP and IMPACT the rest of the day.  Dr. Steve Johnson, MD Professor & Director of Infectious  Disease, University of Colorado, will be our Keynote Speaker.  Our guest speaker will be Merilou Johnson, MSW, MPA, Program Director Colorado AIDS Education Training Center.  They are no relation, just share a last name. 

I have not met Merilou Johnson, but I have met Dr. Steve Johnson and can attest that he is one of the kindest and most intelligent men I have had the good fortune to visit with in my time in this business.  He and Dr. Swartz were Mark's doctors for the last several years of his life, so I had the good fortune to visit with them both every month.  They are both very caring men which is a necessity in this area of medicine.

Now for my far away friends, you should know that this is a coup!  I figure this is going to be the biggest WAD Commemoration to date in this fair city.  Right now I have to go finish Rick's panel or I will be standing there tomorrow night with egg all over my face and this whole table full of people glaring at me.  Not me, man.  I am looking forward to tomorrow and hope when I come home it is with a feeling of accomplishment!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Cuban Caravan part 2!!


Here is that shot I told you to watch for.  This Google thing is like a whole new world to me.  Just put your mouse on the picture and click!  But in case that does not work, I have done it for you.  The teal shirt says:
Cuba has:

One teacher per 10 primary children.
Vaccinations against preventable diseases.
A lower infant mortality rate then the United States.
No homeless children.
100% literacy.

The red shirt says;
Now is the time to:

Free the Cuban 5.
End the economic blockade.
End travel ban for all.
Take Cuba off "terrorist list."
Hand Guantanamo back to Cuba.
Normalize Diplomatic Relations.

There is the link you are going to need to learn more.  See in my simple mind I can not understand why we are carrying on diplomatic relations with every one in this world, from China, Russia, and Iran clear down to Osama Bin Laden, but we will not deal with Cuba, a struggling nation 90 miles off of our coast.  And this has gone on for at least 40 years.  I just can not see this.  If someone out there, reading this can give me a reason, I am a reasonable person.  I am fair minded, but we have 5 Cubans in prison for doing less than criminals walking the streets here in Pueblo.  Just clue me in cause I am clueless in Pueblo!


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I missed these Cuba shots and they are so worth looking at!

I want you to take a look at these pictures that I have been looking at for the last how many months and not seeing!  If you think that going to Cuba with a school bus full of anything is a piece of cake, you are sadly mistaken.  These particular pictures were sent to me while they were at one of the crossings.  I probably posted a link, and maybe you actually looked at them.  You should have hollered and said " Hey, dummy, here is the whole thing in a nut
shell!"  See those three little guys there?Pretty soon you will be able to read the back of their shirts!  Now see how big they are?  Probably about the size of most of us and they do not look like heroes to me, but you hang on there!  Now, see these guys at the back of the bus?  They are the crossing guards and they are looking pretty closely at these computers.  The computers look pretty evil to me!  They did in fact have to confiscate a few of them.  All of them contained the same hard drives, so it was not the info.

But look at these guys!  Can you hear the conversations?  I can and I am thinking a few of these guys may have made a few dollars off this little crossing here!

OK, I can not get the picture I want to load on here.  So I am going to continue on another post which will be called Cuba Shots part 2.  You have got to read these guys shirts.  It explains why myself and a lot of others are adamant about the Cuban Caravan.

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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Remember way back when you were dating?

I was young once and I can still remember that time.  I was young and actually dated boys.  I don't think things happen the way they did many years back.  For one thing, everybody has a car now days.  Usually given to the kid by one parent or another so they do not have to drive them around.  Back in the day, it did not work that way.  Cars were few and far between and if the boy wanted to use the car to take a little chickadee somewhere on Saturday night, the deal was made weeks in advance.  A date was a big deal back then.  The guy had to come to the door and actually meet mom and dad. Well, it was supposed to work that way, but it didn't always.

See back then I thought my parents were way to strict and old fashioned and and I just could not be bothered with those little customs that other kids held so dear.  One might say I was a bit of a rebel back then.  So I always managed to meet the lucky boy up on the highway.  Looking back, I see that I might have been sending the wrong message.  Well, I am pretty sure I was not getting the message across that I had parents who cared about me and wanted to know where I was more for my benefit than just because they were nosey!

So, I met Prince Charming up on the highway and we would go to the drug store and have a coke ore something equally decadent which cost in the neighborhood of five cents.  Dates were cheap back then.  Then we might walk around a while.  You know, look at the stars and stuff because back then there was not so much light pollution and you could see the stars.  Then back to the car and drive some where so we could see better.  Inevitably that damn car would run out of gas!  What to do now?  My idea was to hit the road and go get more gas, but his was to neck.  Neck!  We could neck all night and that car would still be out of gas.

I have always been a woman of action.  "Come on!  It will be midnight before we get back.  I ain't gonna set here all night."  And it was then that the truth came to light,  I could either give or walk.  Give or Walk?  Is that your idea of foreplay?  Well, I have also been scared of the dark most of my life, but here was a situation that would warrant closer scrutiny of whatever was in the dark.  On the one hand I was alone with an idiot who did not have sense enough to put gas in his car, thinking that sex would make that thing run.  And if we had sex, he would still be out of gas and I would be walking.  Either way, I knew I was going to hoof it home that night.

Ever look back on your life and just wonder how you could have actually been that stupid and ever lived?  I got more walking time in when I was a teenager than in all the rest of my life.  And you would have thought that the guys would have wised up at some point, but they never did.  I did finally decide all the boys in my hometown were jerks and started dating the boys from the big city.  Now those guys knew how to treat a girl!  Actually I think they were afraid of me because I had some very muscle bound legs.  Guess they thought I might kick them!

One of the guys from way far away in Dodge City caught my fancy and the rest was history.  We dated three weeks.  He met momma and dad.  Never made me walk home. Took me dancing and we drank some beer.  I got sick, but I knew I would spend the rest of my life with this gorgeous man with blond curly hair, blue eyes and a Roman nose.  Funny thing, life.  My forever lasted 10 years and 5 kids.  The Dreamer that I had loved with every fiber of my being turned out to be just that, The Dreamer.  He wrote the most beautiful love letters, but neglected to pay the rent.  He painted pictures of a most glorious future, but wouldn't change a diaper.  Guess life just kind of got in the way, and life does have a way of doing that, doesn't it?

Thursday, November 25, 2010

I have come to a decision and you shall be the first to know, after me of course.

I am going to start dating after the first of the year.  Now I know, I did hang out with the tall guy for a while, but I am not sure that qualified as dating.  The way that worked is I hung out at his house or garage and kind of helped him organize stuff and we talked a lot.  Sometimes he fed me or we went out and ate.  I do not think that was dating.  I think it was hanging out mostly.  None of that personal stuff, you know.

I think dating is where the guy actually would come to the house, ring the door bell, open the car door and take me some place, like out to eat or the movies or something like that.   Maybe we could hit some garage sales.  I don't know, but I am sure if we work at it we can come up with something to do.  Oh, yeah, like the fundraiser things that I hate to go to alone, I could like to have someone take me.  OK, now comes the "someone" part.  How do I get me one of those?   Sometime back a thing kept popping up on my email telling me I could find me a man at Match.com, or Zoosk, or any number of places and all I had to do was click on there and it was free.  Let me tell you, that sounded pretty easy to me, so click I did.  That is an experience I shall not soon forget. 

There were pages and pages of men who described themselves as "good looking, hard bodies, long walks,romantic, financially secure, and looking for love."  Now no offense intended here, but if he has to tell me he is good looking that is strike number one.  A 75 year old man with a flat stomach and hard body is a little hard to imagine.  I am having a hard time even imagining one with hair!  Now his idea of a long walk and mine may not be the same.  Right away I started thinking of a long walk on a short pier!  First hit I got was a guy from Pennsylvania who was ready to relocate, all I had to do was send him my email.  I may be a bit of a doubting Thomas on this "Get the man of your dreams for only $7.95.  Limited time only." 

Now, in all fairness, this may be the way to go for some people, but not for me.  Hell, I could not quit laughing long enough.  I found another way!  And it is free!  I can just pick one up.  They are every where!  My friends know single guys.  Well, mostly widowers.  So I am a widow.  That works, or should work.  All they have to do is introduce me.  Course they have to screen them first, you know, weed out the ultra conservatives, homophobes, Catholics, men afraid of spiders, and things like that.  Don't want one in a suit. No smokers.  No drinkers. Like animals.  Don't want to ski.  No racists and must like big dysfunctional families.  I am a thinking, I may be a little too particular.  You think?

Well, now that I think about it, I am not sure I want to do that dating thing.  I suppose it would probably happen at night and I like to go to bed about 9 PM.  That could present a problem right there!  And say I did date one, what if I got to liking him?  What then?  If I start liking him and he starts liking me, then we got another problem.  But if he could just like walk me to the door at 8:30, peck on the cheek and hit the road, that might be alright.  Yes, dating will be a good thing if I don't actually have to spend any time with him!  I am going to think about this some more.  When I reach my final decision I will share that with you.

Right now I think I just looked at the full moon the other night and thought about the good old days when I was a young, romantic girl.  That was when the wee, wee hours were for snuggling with a fella, or dancing the night away, not trying to kick the cat out of bed and letting the dog out for a quick minute then back to sleep.  Well, I do love my bed and I think right now I am going to go crawl in it and say my prayers.  May rethink this whole thing.  Got a whole month before the first of the year and everything is subject to change.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Didjaeverthink?

I have secrets that I will take to the grave.  We all do, I know.  May not be earth shattering to anyone if they knew them, but to me they are sacred.  Well there is only one, really.  No, there are two of them.  One is something that was never a real secret, but I knew.  Wait, make that three.  There was that first one, and then that second one.  At the time people knew, but they forgot.  Those two were never real secrets, but that third one is so secret that only me and God knows it, because the other person who knew has been dead a while and I think that person forgot even before they died. 

Oh, boy did I ever have one of those didjaeverthink days today!  I had what I thought was a friend and I came that close to telling my secrets.  Imagine how I would feel now, knowing just how close we actually weren't, had I told my secrets.  A very wise man once told me, "You know of people.  You do not know a person. Only that person can know himself."  He was right.  I have a face I present to people when I first meet them, but I am not good at keeping that face on and next thing you know, I have a new best friend and I will tell that best friend only the truth about myself.  Well, needless to say, not everyone is honest nor do they want honesty.  So, poof, there went my new best friend.

Needless to say I have a bit of a problem trusting people, so when I do put my trust in one of the friends I make, and they disappoint me, I am crushed.  I am learning lots of little lessons here on this big world of the Internet.  I am learning that as well meaning as people are, and as sincere as they appear to be, it is not the same as setting down at Starbucks and having a conversation face to face.  Eye contact means a lot to me.  I have made friends (?) with several people on the Internet and had gut wrenching conversations with at least one of them, laughed hysterically with another, been advised in business by one, know an other's grand kids by name and thought about a quasi affair with another.  So, why am I sad when one of these faceless figures disappears on me?  Hell, I don't know!

But in my favor, I must say, I still have my secrets.  The key to whether I trust you will be whether I share my secrets.  So far there is no temptation any where.  Like I said I almost told that one guy, but lips are sealed and it turned out well that I kept mum.  I set down to write this blog and things come out of me that amaze me.  You people probably know me better then the people I deal with on a regular basis!  You are my Internet friends.  Some of you are actually family and friends that I know.  Some of you are faraway friends that I have met.  Some of you I will meet at a later date, but the one thing you all have in common is you see the honest, forthright side of Lou.  When I meet a stranger the first thing they say is "I feel I have known you all my life."  I, myself, have never met a stranger! 

The people I meet on the Internet are faceless friends.  Sometimes I have a picture I can put with a face, but there you go.  Is that face the face that actually goes with that name?  One of my friends is apparently a bull dog!  One will not tell if they are male or female.  I have a closeup of Amy's mouth.  I met Jacci in Blackwell, Oklahoma and Ely at the bottom of Missouri.  My son has raised his voice at me more than once over what he refers to as my insane behaviour, but he does not understand.  I do not just run around and meet people wily nily.  I first have a connection with them.  Then I feel their vibes.  And I always say my prayers.

OK, I am willing to bet I have strayed from the topic again.  I know one thing, I am getting hungry so it must be supper time.  I am going to run my spell check (I love that feature),  read this over and see if it makes any sense at all, and if it does I will hit the publish button!

Hey, I understand this and that is scary in and of itself!! 

Another year down the tubes!

Counting today, there are only 5 days left in this year.    Momma nailed it when she said "When you are over the hill you pick up speed...