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Friday, February 19, 2016

What are those things with big black wings?

I was talking to my daughter Debbie, for her happy birthday this morning and I got to tell you, I am getting damned old here.  I know this because she is now officially almost old and I am her mother so that makes me 20 years older than her.  Now in all fairness, I knew I was old before she brought it up.  I had reason to face my aging body head on earlier this week.  I had mentioned it on facebook, but since she is not on facebook she had to hear it second or third hand and was a tad bit upset by that.  So for her sake I shall once more relive the humiliating episode.  I do want to say up front, this was not due to anything on my part and I am still capable of living alone most of the time.
So, I have a deadbolt and a locking knob on my back door.  Now, I should tell you that the locking knob tricks you.  You can lock it and then open it up and go outside.  Most knobs of that ilk will not turn when locked, but this sucker does.  After several times of locking myself outside, I got my shipping tape and covered the knob so it could not be turned.  This worked very well for a year or so.  I have a coded lock on my front door and the last thing I do before going to bed is lock the deadbolt on the back and the screen door on the front.   If someone  needs to get inside after I am bolted, locked and safely secured inside, they are SOL (Sadly Out of Luck.)
When I get up in the morning I get on the computer, talk on the phone, drink coffee, and just hang out in my pajama's.  About 7:30 or so I wander out in my pajams's to let the geese out.  If I think about it, I take my phone, but rarely do I carry it with me.  Such was my journey on Monday morning.  Since I am in the boonies out here I can wander all day and never see a soul.  Neighbors leave for work about 5:30 AM.  So after checking this and that I decided to come inside.  Whoops!  The knob did not turn.  I was locked out.  I hurried to the front door hoping I had forgotten to lock the screen.  Nope!  I am a creature of habit.  Damn the luck!
So I set on the deck and assessed my options.  I could walk up the road to a friends house in my pajama's and house shoes and hope she was home.That was iffy.  I could get the drill and drill out the center of the knob, but the drill was inside.  I even eyeballed the doggie door, but I was pretty sure I did not want to be stuck in that for any length of time.  Then I remembered that I had ran an antenna wire out the window in Susie/Sam/Bret's old room.  I would simply pop the screen open the window and crawl through.  That seemed like a really good plan, but thinking was a hellofalot easier then the completion of the task.  So with trusty screwdriver in hand I began my task.
The screen popped right out and I think I can have it rebuilt for $15 or so.  The window slid open very easily.  I put my right leg in and set down on the sill.  So far so good.  I could see the floor down below me about 6 1/2 feet.  I knew where the ceiling was cause I kept hitting it with my head.  I do not know how burglars do it.  There was absolutely nothing to hang on to and nothing to cushion my fall assuming I could get my left leg to bend in three places so it would be on the side of the window that the other 3/4 of my body was on.  I would have given all my worldly possessions for a chance at the throat of whoever locked the door.  ( I have since forgiven her.)
In a moment of clarity I seen my right leg sliding down to the floor and pictured my left leg scraping across the sill and catching on the cross bar.  I envisioned being split down the middle and I was pretty sure I better think fast.  So I then seen that if I could hang on to center post and move to my right my left leg might follow my lead.  That worked and by clinging to the center post and hoping it did not come loose I could then take that left leg and flail around enough to catch my toe on the tv table.  It was a good plan as long as everything went very slowly.  One slip and I was nursing home bound.  It went smooth as silk and soon I was inside my house with one foot on the tv table and the other in a wire laundry basket.  Hell, I felt like Spartacus!!!
So, dear Debbie, there you have my saga.  My arm is almost healed  and my hip will probably go back in it's socket soon.  The first item on my agenda was to unlock the storm door.  Then I took the knob off the back door and removed the innards so it could not lock.  I have a step ladder under the window now, just in case, but I really think I am probably good to go.  Who knows!
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Oh, the hell you say?

Birth and death are both amazing things that everyone of us will encounter at some time.  And it is utterly fascinating that at both those events we will be seeking the light!  I have had the pleasure of being present at both ends of the spectrum and I must say it was an honor every time!

First think about the birth.  What starts out as a little seed grows into a tiny human being in the space of 9 months give or take a few days one way or the other.  When the time comes it comes.  The mother does not have a choice as to what day and time this will occur in most cases.  Baby starts positioning itself for the downward journey and if mother is not ready, she better get ready.  I wonder if babies think on this trip?  I doubt it.  Birth seems to be one of the miracles of life.  And then here is baby!  In a well run clinical setting, baby pops out into a room full of medical people ready to catch baby and clear it's breathing passages, weigh the little bundle, measure, probe, prod, and so on as mommy and daddy, grandma and grandpa, aunts and uncles, beam with pride.  That is a perfect world.

We are all born, there is no disputing that fact and as sure as the world turns, we will all die.  In a lonely room some where we will face out destiny.  We will be the mother or father, the grandma or grandpa, the aunt or uncle, son or daughter.  We know what happens after birth when we have followed the light into this world, but we have no manual to follow when we follow the light at the end.

I am a simple minded woman.  I believe in God and I beleive his name is God.  I beleive in the Holy Bible and I beleive that Jesus is the son of God.  I beleive that when I follow the light out of this world I will be swept up in the arms of Jesus and carried to a place in Heaven,  wherever that might be, where I will never be hungry or cold and will walk on streets that are paved in gold.

Those are my thoughts for this day as I set here thinking of my sisters that have gone before me and the babies that have come since.  My God is good.

Another year down the tubes!

Counting today, there are only 5 days left in this year.    Momma nailed it when she said "When you are over the hill you pick up speed...