I am a patient person. Really! Through my life I have tolerated things that went against my grain for the sake of "peace in the marriage," "peace in the church," "peace in the job place, "peace on earth," and the whole nine yards. I am generally a peace loving person, but when I get a belly full, I am done. I tolerated my first husbands drinking and general bad behavior for 10 years and then I was done. Kit and caboodle was out of there. I lasted 6 years at my first job until the boss got under my skin one too many times, and out the door I went. It took me 2 years to leave the church I attended for 15 years before I started attending First Church. I was seeing a guy for the last 5 years, but then I reached the point where, "Nope! not this time. I deserve better than this." So here I set reflecting on just what I am going to get sick and tired of next.
Mother taught me well, the lessons of life. She always told me that "some day you will have a belly full of that and it will all change." "Oh, but momma, I love him so." And when I came dragging in with my kids in tow, asking for a place to stay, she simply said, "So what was the straw that broke the camel's back?" Reflecting back on that particular time in my life, I do not remember. Like she said, I just got my belly full. One indignity at a time, one day at a time, one word at a time and it all adds up to a load that I could no longer carry.
Same with the church. I loved that church. That church helped me over rough spots when I was first aware of the AIDS epidemic. That church was there when we adopted our grandson. And that church saw me through losing my husband. But then one straw at a time, they changed direction and made choices that I thought were unfair. I tried to right them, but the camel could not carry me through. And so I left.
The jobs were always easy to walk away from, because I figure if I am working 8-9 hours a day in an environment where I am happy and feel appreciated, I can tolerate the customers and the demands, but I can not survive in an atmosphere of discontent. Not happening.
As for the last boyfriend, he was just that. Not going to try that again. I can not blame him. The personality that I perceived was not the personality that was his true inner self. There are traits I must have in friends and I do not know if he changed or his true self came out, but either way, history has stepped in and that is water under the bridge. It takes a helluvaman to walk through life with me. And as the saying goes, "Many are called, but few are chosen." (That one may have came from the Bible and not from Mother.)
So, now let's get back to looking for that camel I was talking about. Right now, I am taking a hiatus from life as I know it. I have been Don Quixote for too many years. I have tilted my blade at Homophobics, AIDS, DACA, Homelessness, Poverty, the environment, politics, animal welfare, domestic violence, adoption, Black lives matter, all lives matter, Indigenous people, NFL kneeling,
and God only knows what else. I have retired from Hospice, Posada, Save the Whales and am now setting at home and looking at the mess I have made of my life.
I have a house full of junk because I have ran through the gambit of ceramics, sewing, quilting, knitting, weaving, gardening, and any other hobby you can conceive. I have every item ever needed to do any hobby you think could have been invented. I am old. I want a house I can live in that does not have 4 levels and a yard I can look at and not have to mow for 2 hours once a week. My dogs are old. My geese are old. Cat: not so much.
I can close my eyes and see that little mother of mine looking down with her fingers over her mouth and the twinkle in her bright little hazel eyes and asking me, "So what did you think was going to happen when you started all this? And just which straw broke this camel's back?"
Thanks, mom!
Mother taught me well, the lessons of life. She always told me that "some day you will have a belly full of that and it will all change." "Oh, but momma, I love him so." And when I came dragging in with my kids in tow, asking for a place to stay, she simply said, "So what was the straw that broke the camel's back?" Reflecting back on that particular time in my life, I do not remember. Like she said, I just got my belly full. One indignity at a time, one day at a time, one word at a time and it all adds up to a load that I could no longer carry.
Same with the church. I loved that church. That church helped me over rough spots when I was first aware of the AIDS epidemic. That church was there when we adopted our grandson. And that church saw me through losing my husband. But then one straw at a time, they changed direction and made choices that I thought were unfair. I tried to right them, but the camel could not carry me through. And so I left.
The jobs were always easy to walk away from, because I figure if I am working 8-9 hours a day in an environment where I am happy and feel appreciated, I can tolerate the customers and the demands, but I can not survive in an atmosphere of discontent. Not happening.
As for the last boyfriend, he was just that. Not going to try that again. I can not blame him. The personality that I perceived was not the personality that was his true inner self. There are traits I must have in friends and I do not know if he changed or his true self came out, but either way, history has stepped in and that is water under the bridge. It takes a helluvaman to walk through life with me. And as the saying goes, "Many are called, but few are chosen." (That one may have came from the Bible and not from Mother.)
So, now let's get back to looking for that camel I was talking about. Right now, I am taking a hiatus from life as I know it. I have been Don Quixote for too many years. I have tilted my blade at Homophobics, AIDS, DACA, Homelessness, Poverty, the environment, politics, animal welfare, domestic violence, adoption, Black lives matter, all lives matter, Indigenous people, NFL kneeling,
and God only knows what else. I have retired from Hospice, Posada, Save the Whales and am now setting at home and looking at the mess I have made of my life.
I have a house full of junk because I have ran through the gambit of ceramics, sewing, quilting, knitting, weaving, gardening, and any other hobby you can conceive. I have every item ever needed to do any hobby you think could have been invented. I am old. I want a house I can live in that does not have 4 levels and a yard I can look at and not have to mow for 2 hours once a week. My dogs are old. My geese are old. Cat: not so much.
I can close my eyes and see that little mother of mine looking down with her fingers over her mouth and the twinkle in her bright little hazel eyes and asking me, "So what did you think was going to happen when you started all this? And just which straw broke this camel's back?"
Thanks, mom!
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