It is now 4:20 AM. I woke up about an hour ago thinking of my first marriage proposal. Since that was 57 years ago, I thought I should lay there until that memory faded, but it did not, so I thought maybe the kids would get a kick out of knowing I actually remember their father! Not only do I remember him, but I remember him fondly. He was my first love. From the time I met him until we were married was a total of maybe 6 weeks. To say it was a whirlwind courtship would be an understatement!
Back in those days, we still wrote letters. Earl Duane Seeger and my brother Jake were good friends. Well, they were drinking buddies, any way, but friends nonetheless. I always called my first husband Duane. Earl always sounded so formal and I had a brother named Earl, so he was Duane. Duane worked for a man who traveled the state trimming trees. Later in life Duane studied and got his license as an Arborist, tree trimmer, and licensed sprayer. That is all beside the point. What is important is at that time he would be out of town all week and only home on the weekends. So we wrote letters. It was too expensive to call on the pay phone and I think a stamp was like three cents back then.
So one day I got a letter from Duane and a lot of it was in German. I showed it to my brother and asked him what it said.
"Ich libe du means 'I love you'. Ich libe du zer fiel means 'I love you very much'. Wollen zie hie rauten mit mer? I think that means 'Will you get married with me?' I am not real sure, but I think that is what it means."
So being the starry eyed 18 year old girl that I was, I knew this was true love. We were married at a church on the corner of Sherman and 5th street in Hutchinson. His mom came from Jetmore with her husband. My mom was there as were a couple sisters, I think. It was October 30, 1960 (I think) and it was the first snow fall of the year. I borrowed my little sisters prom dress so I kind of looked like a bride. At least I felt like one and I embarked on what I thought was the rest of my life with my husband at my side.
I kept his letters until we had one of our many fights and I threw them in the sink, covered them with gravy and announced that the marriage was over. Back then it was a simple matter (in my head) of just walking out and not looking back. I did that many times until 10 years and 5 kids later, I never went back. I loaded the kids in the back seat of a 1959 Chevy and filled the trunk full of clothes. It was a trip I will no doubt remember to eternity, because it was the end of life as I knew it and I had no idea where my next meal was coming from. (He sold every thing I did not take (including my house plants) at the weekly storage auction in Garden City, Kansas.)
He did not want a divorce, so he refused to participate in the court or paying for it. Of course he refused to pay child support as well, but he did share in custody, but we went by our own rules.
Do we ever forget our first love? I think not. Are the memories always pleasant? I think not. My mother once told me that we all have different perceptions of what we go through in our lives. Mother was very wise. Over the years, my memories have changed. I have mostly forgotten the bad parts and only remember the good. I remember a blonde haired, blue eyed Greek God with a beautiful smile. I remember how special he made me feel. If we could have lived in a vacuum it might have lasted, but we couldn't and it didn't.
He and I both moved on, but did we really? In my mind he will always be 23 years old. We will always be dancing to rock and roll music and we were good! Fishing. Coon hunting. Watching the moon from a river bank. Seeing the sun come up. Memories. Who knows.
That ship sailed a very long time ago.
Back in those days, we still wrote letters. Earl Duane Seeger and my brother Jake were good friends. Well, they were drinking buddies, any way, but friends nonetheless. I always called my first husband Duane. Earl always sounded so formal and I had a brother named Earl, so he was Duane. Duane worked for a man who traveled the state trimming trees. Later in life Duane studied and got his license as an Arborist, tree trimmer, and licensed sprayer. That is all beside the point. What is important is at that time he would be out of town all week and only home on the weekends. So we wrote letters. It was too expensive to call on the pay phone and I think a stamp was like three cents back then.
So one day I got a letter from Duane and a lot of it was in German. I showed it to my brother and asked him what it said.
"Ich libe du means 'I love you'. Ich libe du zer fiel means 'I love you very much'. Wollen zie hie rauten mit mer? I think that means 'Will you get married with me?' I am not real sure, but I think that is what it means."
So being the starry eyed 18 year old girl that I was, I knew this was true love. We were married at a church on the corner of Sherman and 5th street in Hutchinson. His mom came from Jetmore with her husband. My mom was there as were a couple sisters, I think. It was October 30, 1960 (I think) and it was the first snow fall of the year. I borrowed my little sisters prom dress so I kind of looked like a bride. At least I felt like one and I embarked on what I thought was the rest of my life with my husband at my side.
I kept his letters until we had one of our many fights and I threw them in the sink, covered them with gravy and announced that the marriage was over. Back then it was a simple matter (in my head) of just walking out and not looking back. I did that many times until 10 years and 5 kids later, I never went back. I loaded the kids in the back seat of a 1959 Chevy and filled the trunk full of clothes. It was a trip I will no doubt remember to eternity, because it was the end of life as I knew it and I had no idea where my next meal was coming from. (He sold every thing I did not take (including my house plants) at the weekly storage auction in Garden City, Kansas.)
He did not want a divorce, so he refused to participate in the court or paying for it. Of course he refused to pay child support as well, but he did share in custody, but we went by our own rules.
Do we ever forget our first love? I think not. Are the memories always pleasant? I think not. My mother once told me that we all have different perceptions of what we go through in our lives. Mother was very wise. Over the years, my memories have changed. I have mostly forgotten the bad parts and only remember the good. I remember a blonde haired, blue eyed Greek God with a beautiful smile. I remember how special he made me feel. If we could have lived in a vacuum it might have lasted, but we couldn't and it didn't.
He and I both moved on, but did we really? In my mind he will always be 23 years old. We will always be dancing to rock and roll music and we were good! Fishing. Coon hunting. Watching the moon from a river bank. Seeing the sun come up. Memories. Who knows.
That ship sailed a very long time ago.
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