It is Christmas all over the world, and contrary to popular belief it is Christmas at my house. I do not have a tree and all the trappings. There is no Christmas music wafting from the stereo. And last night I missed the service at church for the first time in many, many years. But it is still Christmas morning here.
Yesterday I went to a friends house for lunch. I dined with Ross Barnhart and his brothers and most of their wives. His cousin was also there. It was lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Today I am staying home. I have some things I want to do today, but right now I am thinking back to Strong Street.
I know we lived there for several years, but I am not sure how long. My favorite Christmas is the year I received a pink ball for Christmas from Santa Clause. Santa always left our gifts on our chairs at the table. That year I received a coloring book, a box of 8 Crayola's, 2 chocolate candies an orange and a pink ball. It was about the size of the orange and it was the most wonderful ball in the world! When I dropped the ball it bounced very high. I threw it against the house and it bounced back. It was so wonderful, but of course , that did not last. It was just a matter of time before the wonderful pink ball picked up a sticker and no longer bounced. The last time I recall seeing it was deflated and living in a mud hole. Soon the coloring book was all colored, the Crayon's broken and missing from the box.
The last Christmas I recall was the last one I want to remember. Jake told me Santa was not real and he knew that for a fact because Momma was going to let him play Santa and give out the presents that year. I did not believe him, so I asked him what I was going to get and he told me.
"It is a tin doll house with a mother, father, brother, sister and a dog. A black dog." And that was what I got. Jake had assembled it by pushing the metal tabs through the slots and folding them down to hold them in place. And sure enough, there was a pink mother and father, a boy and a girl, and a little dog. It had a couch and chair, a table and 4 chairs, and a tub and stool and sink in the bathroom. The kitchen had a sink, refrigerator and a stove. Jake told me he would get me more stuff someday. But it never happened.
Some how the wonderfulness of the doll house was over shadowed by the sadness the Santa was not real. All those years, it had been my momma cleaning other peoples houses and saving money a little at a time to surprise me. It made me sad to think of her doing without so I could have something I really wanted. I came to hate that gift more every day. Momma never knew, but I did.
I hated the poverty that was our life. I hated that my father did not ever touch me or carry me like he did Mary, Donna and Dorothy. I told myself that he probably did, when I was little, but I do not remember that. He spent a lot of time drinking when I was growing up and I attribute it to that. Sure doesn't help these many years later.
So today, I am staying home, alone. I am alone because I want to be, not because I have no one. I have 6 children who have mates and children and some of those children have children which means I am a great grandmother. I have nieces and nephews. I have very good friends. I just want to be alone, so I will.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and pray that you all enjoy life to the fullest. I know I am going to do just that!
Peace!
Yesterday I went to a friends house for lunch. I dined with Ross Barnhart and his brothers and most of their wives. His cousin was also there. It was lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Today I am staying home. I have some things I want to do today, but right now I am thinking back to Strong Street.
I know we lived there for several years, but I am not sure how long. My favorite Christmas is the year I received a pink ball for Christmas from Santa Clause. Santa always left our gifts on our chairs at the table. That year I received a coloring book, a box of 8 Crayola's, 2 chocolate candies an orange and a pink ball. It was about the size of the orange and it was the most wonderful ball in the world! When I dropped the ball it bounced very high. I threw it against the house and it bounced back. It was so wonderful, but of course , that did not last. It was just a matter of time before the wonderful pink ball picked up a sticker and no longer bounced. The last time I recall seeing it was deflated and living in a mud hole. Soon the coloring book was all colored, the Crayon's broken and missing from the box.
The last Christmas I recall was the last one I want to remember. Jake told me Santa was not real and he knew that for a fact because Momma was going to let him play Santa and give out the presents that year. I did not believe him, so I asked him what I was going to get and he told me.
"It is a tin doll house with a mother, father, brother, sister and a dog. A black dog." And that was what I got. Jake had assembled it by pushing the metal tabs through the slots and folding them down to hold them in place. And sure enough, there was a pink mother and father, a boy and a girl, and a little dog. It had a couch and chair, a table and 4 chairs, and a tub and stool and sink in the bathroom. The kitchen had a sink, refrigerator and a stove. Jake told me he would get me more stuff someday. But it never happened.
Some how the wonderfulness of the doll house was over shadowed by the sadness the Santa was not real. All those years, it had been my momma cleaning other peoples houses and saving money a little at a time to surprise me. It made me sad to think of her doing without so I could have something I really wanted. I came to hate that gift more every day. Momma never knew, but I did.
I hated the poverty that was our life. I hated that my father did not ever touch me or carry me like he did Mary, Donna and Dorothy. I told myself that he probably did, when I was little, but I do not remember that. He spent a lot of time drinking when I was growing up and I attribute it to that. Sure doesn't help these many years later.
So today, I am staying home, alone. I am alone because I want to be, not because I have no one. I have 6 children who have mates and children and some of those children have children which means I am a great grandmother. I have nieces and nephews. I have very good friends. I just want to be alone, so I will.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and pray that you all enjoy life to the fullest. I know I am going to do just that!
Peace!
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