For a few weeks now I have been kind of moping around. This virus has had me in it's grip along with a few other things. My little heart has been heavy. I actually lay in bed and think of reasons not to get up and wish for the day that eternal sleep will become a reality. But no more!
This morning I woke up to the beautiful sunshine that God has given me. I woke up with a peace of mind that told me that no matter what today brings, or tomorrow or the next day, I will handle it and thank God that I can. I know my mission on earth has not been fulfilled and God has lain out a clear path for me to follow. While I do not know what is next in my life, I know I will follow that path.
Right now, it all looks pretty bleak, but this will change! The sun is the still beautiful light shining in my window. It shines on my kids first and then comes to stir me. My cat is trying to crawl on my keyboard and usually that irritates me, but not today. I am thankful I have a keyboard and a cat. I am sad about my dog, but at least I had him for a while. I am sure he and Shirley are together and my wounds will heal.
My church is still closed and while I do not have the comradery of the congregation, I do have the everlasting arms to hold me. I know that professions of my faith will catch some of you off guard, but those of you who really know me will not be taken aback. It is probably almost sacrilegious to think that a woman with as many ex husbands as I have could ever make it to heaven, but you are wrong. I am a good, compassionate, caring person. God knows that! And when it is all said and done, he is the one that matters.
I thought I was lonely and actually entertained ideas of dating! I actually had one particular little fellow in mind, but he was not a willing participant and for that I thank him. Companionship takes two, it is kind of like a dance. But you know what? I have been known to dance alone before and will probably do it again.
For now, there is only one thing I need and that is my mind. You would be amazed at what goes on in my head! I have moved mountains and conquered the world. I have loved and been loved and that will not change. I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I do not know if this virus will catch me here in my little home, but I do know that whatever cards I am dealt, I will play.
There is probably not a person reading this that knows that 60 years ago I almost succeeded in a suicide attempt. It was a one time thing and I never tried it again. I thought about it, but that was all. I know there are people out there now who are struggling and I just want to say this: If I can help, give me a call. I can not solve your problems, but I can listen.
If you need an ear to listen, leave a note in the comments down below. You can leave your email or phone number. I am on facebook. It really is a wonderful world out there!
Peace to all!
This morning I woke up to the beautiful sunshine that God has given me. I woke up with a peace of mind that told me that no matter what today brings, or tomorrow or the next day, I will handle it and thank God that I can. I know my mission on earth has not been fulfilled and God has lain out a clear path for me to follow. While I do not know what is next in my life, I know I will follow that path.
Right now, it all looks pretty bleak, but this will change! The sun is the still beautiful light shining in my window. It shines on my kids first and then comes to stir me. My cat is trying to crawl on my keyboard and usually that irritates me, but not today. I am thankful I have a keyboard and a cat. I am sad about my dog, but at least I had him for a while. I am sure he and Shirley are together and my wounds will heal.
My church is still closed and while I do not have the comradery of the congregation, I do have the everlasting arms to hold me. I know that professions of my faith will catch some of you off guard, but those of you who really know me will not be taken aback. It is probably almost sacrilegious to think that a woman with as many ex husbands as I have could ever make it to heaven, but you are wrong. I am a good, compassionate, caring person. God knows that! And when it is all said and done, he is the one that matters.
I thought I was lonely and actually entertained ideas of dating! I actually had one particular little fellow in mind, but he was not a willing participant and for that I thank him. Companionship takes two, it is kind of like a dance. But you know what? I have been known to dance alone before and will probably do it again.
For now, there is only one thing I need and that is my mind. You would be amazed at what goes on in my head! I have moved mountains and conquered the world. I have loved and been loved and that will not change. I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I do not know if this virus will catch me here in my little home, but I do know that whatever cards I am dealt, I will play.
There is probably not a person reading this that knows that 60 years ago I almost succeeded in a suicide attempt. It was a one time thing and I never tried it again. I thought about it, but that was all. I know there are people out there now who are struggling and I just want to say this: If I can help, give me a call. I can not solve your problems, but I can listen.
If you need an ear to listen, leave a note in the comments down below. You can leave your email or phone number. I am on facebook. It really is a wonderful world out there!
Peace to all!
1 comment:
This is an awesome thing to wake up to. I love you and your lovely stories and your words of wisdom. I too thought have thought about suicide and once long ago made a stupid "suicidal gesture." When the time comes that I am facing only pain in my future and sadness for those that care me I have a plan to end the suffering. I am looking for a doctor who will cooperate with that plan but if not I think I can do it alone or with the help of one kind and compassionate person. But until then, each day I will enjoy the beauty and wonder of God's creation.
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