Husband number 3 had a hard time understanding his second wife. That was me! He found it necessary to go to my mother and complain to her that I was not totally dependent on him and did as I "pleased" most of the time. He had no say so in how the kids were raised, blah, blah blah.
Now you need to understand that at the time I married him, I owned my own home, operated a resturant, (Lou's Kitchen) and supported 5 kids with no child support. The man was nuts for ever marrying me in the first place and he sure was not interested in being a father to someone else's kids, so I did not know just what he expected. The kids spent a lot of time in Garden City with their dad and since he paid no child support, I figured that was alright. He was their father after all!
But back to the current husband and his need for a clingy, dependent woman. Sorry, buddy, I have never been clingy, nor dependent. I knew who paid the bills and I knew whose paycheck went into the bank for that purpose. So when he sought my mother's advice he might as well have beat his head against a brick wall. She just explained to him that I had been screwed over a couple times and that I had a hard time trusting anyone to "take care of me."
He was upset that I did not jump up all happy and cheerful first thing in the morning. She told him that if that was the case, he should just leave me alone until I was ready to be happy, cheerful little thing. I do recall several times when he was so hung over he could not function, but that was alright, that was him.
When he went into the spiel about me managing my own finances and not making the kids dad pay child support, she explained to him that since that was a futile endeavor it was best that he just not meddle n my finances.
" You know, Charlie, it is kind of like when you ride a horse. You gotta take it easy on the horse and when you put it in the barn, you have to groom it and cover it so it won't get sick. You see, poor little Louella has been rode hard and put away wet!"
He decided at that point that my mother was as crazy as I was. He just couldn't understand the dyamics of an independent woman. So we came to Colorado where he was sure I would worship at the alter of Charlie. In all fairness I tried to be the mousy little thing he wanted, but that just wasn't in my chemical makeup, so we divorced. Then we remarried and then we divorced again and both moved on.
Now I am not sure why this is on my mind this morning, but it is. So now you know and you can do what you will with this worthless little bit of knowledge. One thing is for sure, I have no secrets, so if anyone wants to blackmail me they are S O L. I trust you all know what that means.
The one thing I have learned in this life is that no one is responsible for my happiness, but me. My last husband and I were happy until the day he died, but I think that was because we respected each other and were happy with ourselves, which left us free to be happy with each other. If I could find another man like that, I would be all over him, But I think God broke the mold after he made him.
So peace and prosperity to all from the broken old nag here on South Road!
1 comment:
I love reading your ramblings, recollections and ruminations. You're so right about the key to happy relationships. My current one is the happiest by far, and it's clear to both of us that we couldn't change the other if we wanted to. We can be on the lookout for ways to support each other when one of us stumbles or bites off more than he can chew, but rarely do we criticize unless asked. Each wants the other to be the best he can be in the circumstances. That to me is LOVE.
Post a Comment