I have not had a drop of alcohol in many years. It holds no siren call to me. I drink water and if I am feeling the need for libation of any kind, tea will do. Occasionally I do crave a soda pop, but even that is very rarely. So, that having been said, why did I wake up at 4:25 AM remembering the siren call of alcohol? Why were my first thoughts this morning a memory of waking up in a dry bathtub, fully clothed and covered in vomit from the night before? How many years ago was that?!? Apparently, the fun I had transitioning from teenager to young adulthood is a memory I shall never live long enough to neither clearly remember or forget.
When I was 16 I wanted to be a missionary and save the souls of naked natives in Africa, but by the time I reached 18 I had changed my goal from saving souls to drinking the brewery dry. I had a friend whose dad made home brew and she and I relieved him of a lot of his product when he was not looking. I think he blamed it on his wife, but it is a little late now to apologize for that little fiasco.
I remember very little of my Junior year in high school and even less of the Senior year. I showed up for class pictures and ordered my class ring (which I promptly lost) and that was about it.
Now, there were boys who subscribed to the theory that "candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." Those little fellows never reckoned with me, did they? Beer made me mean and hard liquor made me meaner. Of course, either one was going to make me throw up! Nothing turns a guy off like some broad barfing which was the one thing that got me through my high school years with my virtue intact. The last time I was drunk was when my brother came home from the Army and he bought a fifth of rot gut whiskey for three dollars and some change. We washed that down with red Koolaid. And the rest is history. I threw up for 3 days and swore off liquor for the rest of my life. Red Koolaid is never found in my house. And I am pretty much still abstinent. Lips of wine will never touch mine!
So let's get back to the subject. Why, all these years later, are the memories of booze so clear in my mind? I can not remember what I got in the car and drove to the store to purchase, but I can remember how drunk and sick I was lo' those many years ago. Now I suppose a psychologist would say I was secretly wanting a drink, but I am pretty sure that is not it, because I could drive to the liquor store which is one mile away and buy a bottle if I chose. But, no, I drink tea. And water. Sometimes chocolate milk. And of course, coffee.
So, it is now 5:30 AM and I am winding up this entry. I will have another cup of coffee and get ready to start my day. Not sure what today will bring, but I am sure I will be stone assed sober for whatever it is that happens. There are things in my life that are "givens". That means "it goes without saying." I will not drink liquor today. No red Koolaid either. No cooked apples. For the most part, my life is good. I miss my kids, but so be it. Some day!
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!
1 comment:
So you're as sober as any 12 step convert and fortunately able to stay that way without the aid of meetings and sponsors. It's why you're happy and healthy at an age when many have left this life for the eternal beyond. I recall very well the days when the cool ones went to keggers and 3.2 taverns, or got their enablers to procure the hard stuff for their weekend parties. I had my share of hangovers, and occasions when the toilet bowl was my best friend. It's why the forbidden weed was so attractive for me when I was turned on to it during my second year of college in Fort Collins, even though it could lead to fines and disgrace, or time spent behind bars. No hangovers! No barfing! No asinine exploits leading inevitably to humiliation and regret, if not terrible tragedy. I was happy to give up boozing and wild parties with the cool crowd in exchange for the joys of sharing marijuana and occasional hallucinogens with the hippies and nerds.
Post a Comment