I do not know about you, but I have 20/20 hindsight looking back and right before the crack of dawn is when I can see all my choices clearly! Today is no different. I woke up about 4:30 remembering my last day as a married woman in Garden City, Kansas. The events leading up to that choice are irrelevant, only know that I had reached the end of my endurance and whatever lay ahead had to be better than the current situation. Had I remained in the situation I would no doubt have ended my life that day.
With $10 in my pocket and a full gas tank in the 1967 Chevy I waited for my husband to leave for work, or wherever he went most days. With him safely out of the house, I loaded what I could for clothes in the trunk on top of the spare tire. That was days when there were no seat belt laws, so 4 kids were stuffed in wherever they could sit, stand or lay and away we went. I would like to say it was an easy trip, but only 20 miles later I had a flat tire and no jack. Luckily a boy scout troop happened by and the leader had a jack. I left the flat laying beside the road and trusted God and the universe to help me reach my destination. And he did.
I can only imagine the sight when mother opened the door and found me and the kids there and finding out we were there to stay. She quickly called in a few favors and a babysitter was lined up for the next day. Since I knew nothing about making a living, I started at the Blue Grill as a dish washer. There I met a man who was wiser in the ways of the world and making a living then I was. His advice was to bluff my way into a job as a waitress. Lie on my resume: they would not check. And he was right.
Mother waited tables at the Red Rooster and soon I had a job waiting tables at the Red Rooster. There I met Gibby, who told me the cook was the highest paid employee in a restaurant. So I applied for a cooking job at the Red Carpet. I kept the dishwashing job and the waitress job and worked as night cook at the Red Carpet. Frank and I remained friends of sorts until he went to work at the radio station. Gibby and I were like brother and sister until the day he died in California.
Finding babysitters was sometimes a challenge and more than once I was ready to throw my hands in the air and give up, but give up to what? Or who? The kids dad was quick to point out that he would not pay child support. His reasoning was that he did not want a divorce and that I had the kids and he had nothing so I should just figure it out. After time I would take the kids to him for a few weeks and then go get them. I saved babysitting money that way. It worked out and over the years we could actually be in the same room with out screaming at each other.
To make a long story short, time marches on. Today my first husband and the father of my children settled down and we shared custody. I moved to Colorado and he lived in Western Kansas on 20 acres. The kids stayed with him to attend school in a small town. Between us we got the kids all raised and out into the world before he passed to whatever reward he had earned.
I am a stronger person then I was 50 years ago. Three of the kids still live in Kansas, one in Texas and one here in Pueblo. My last husband and I adopted one of the grandkids. I was married to him for 20 years, and he has now been deceased for 20 years. Apparently my mind is still pretty well intact. Dates are a little fuzzy, but mother always had a way to explain that. She said, "As life goes by you get more memories in your head. As you get more memories they are harder to find in your brain. They are there, it just takes time to get to them through all the other memories."
So there you have it for this morning. If you get confused reading this, think about how I feel! Some where I have it all written down and documented, but I do not know where that is. So just know, I am here now. Then I was there. And never the twain shall meet!
Thanks, mom!
