Fifty years later, I see my mistake! Well, it is way to late in the game to correct it, but I can look back on it and laugh. Trust me, there are not a lot of mistakes that are not funny, but this one is.
Let me set the scene. I had divorced my first husband and my 5 kids and I were living in the 5th street house. I was working at the Red Carpet Restaurant. I was dating a long legged guitar picker who was in a band that played around the county. He was not the brightest bulb in the box, but he was a warm body and while he still lived with his mother and father, he was a step up from nobody.
Christmas came and of course gifts were exchanged. He arrived with his arms full from himself, his mom and his sister. By the time the unwrapping was over, all the tags were lost. I do not remember what all was in the pile, but I did know the tags were lost. So here I set with 3 pairs of sturdy cotton underwear, a pair of electric scissors, and a new Bible and a study guide and tags that said, mom, sister and boyfriend..
No clues. All three gifts could be referred to as they. The scissors were pink, the underwear were white, and the Bible and Study guide were black. I was sure his sister had given me the Bible. Which left him giving me cotton underwear which made sense because I needed new underwear and had remarked that I would buy some just as soon as I got my Christmas bonus.
"Oh, thank you so much. How did you know exactly what I needed?"
"Well, I thought they would come in handy. I hope they are the right color. They had several choices."
"Of course! That is always a safe choice."
"They looked pretty durable so I got those."
For some reason, by the time the conversation reached this point, I decided she had given me the electric scissors. I would go with that.
Then she said, "Well, I hope you make good use of them."
"Yes, I think I will use them tonight!"
"Good idea!"
Looking back, I could have said, "Listen, your dipwad son lost the tags and I have no idea what you gave me, but I am sure it is nice whatever it is, because I know you bought all three and just put their names on the tags." But I didn't say that, did I? Hell, no.
I was always a little sad, that she never became my mother-in-law, because I think I could have grown to like her. But it was not to be. It was a few weeks later I saw his sister and she asked how the scissors cut. Aha! She sent me the scissors. That meant his mom gave me the Bible. Since I could not keep my finger off that phone I called her to tell her how much I was enjoying her gift and how confident I was since I was using them every day. She seemed a little strange after that conversation for some reason. I thought she would be pleased that I was studying the Bible.
And then I decided to actually wear a pair of my new underwear. When I opened the box and took out the top pair a gift tag fell out. It said simply "Delores" (or what ever her name was). And then I remembered our conversations. They took on a whole new meaning.
Our friendship seemed a little strange after that. Not long after that the guitar picker wandered off in search of some big boobed woman with no kids and who liked to set it the bar and listen to him twang away on his guitar. I moved on, but that Christmas has always lived in the back of my mind. It is nothing I talk about but it still pops up in memory every now and then. I am sure his mom is no longer alive so I can write about it now. He may still be around, but who knows? The whole thing is just one of those things that transpired and then was gone. It was important at the time, and in hindsight was really nothing at all.
Just goes to show you that sometimes what really wasn't stays in memory and becomes just that, a memory.
Let me set the scene. I had divorced my first husband and my 5 kids and I were living in the 5th street house. I was working at the Red Carpet Restaurant. I was dating a long legged guitar picker who was in a band that played around the county. He was not the brightest bulb in the box, but he was a warm body and while he still lived with his mother and father, he was a step up from nobody.
Christmas came and of course gifts were exchanged. He arrived with his arms full from himself, his mom and his sister. By the time the unwrapping was over, all the tags were lost. I do not remember what all was in the pile, but I did know the tags were lost. So here I set with 3 pairs of sturdy cotton underwear, a pair of electric scissors, and a new Bible and a study guide and tags that said, mom, sister and boyfriend..
No clues. All three gifts could be referred to as they. The scissors were pink, the underwear were white, and the Bible and Study guide were black. I was sure his sister had given me the Bible. Which left him giving me cotton underwear which made sense because I needed new underwear and had remarked that I would buy some just as soon as I got my Christmas bonus.
"Oh, thank you so much. How did you know exactly what I needed?"
"Well, I thought they would come in handy. I hope they are the right color. They had several choices."
"Of course! That is always a safe choice."
"They looked pretty durable so I got those."
For some reason, by the time the conversation reached this point, I decided she had given me the electric scissors. I would go with that.
Then she said, "Well, I hope you make good use of them."
"Yes, I think I will use them tonight!"
"Good idea!"
Looking back, I could have said, "Listen, your dipwad son lost the tags and I have no idea what you gave me, but I am sure it is nice whatever it is, because I know you bought all three and just put their names on the tags." But I didn't say that, did I? Hell, no.
I was always a little sad, that she never became my mother-in-law, because I think I could have grown to like her. But it was not to be. It was a few weeks later I saw his sister and she asked how the scissors cut. Aha! She sent me the scissors. That meant his mom gave me the Bible. Since I could not keep my finger off that phone I called her to tell her how much I was enjoying her gift and how confident I was since I was using them every day. She seemed a little strange after that conversation for some reason. I thought she would be pleased that I was studying the Bible.
And then I decided to actually wear a pair of my new underwear. When I opened the box and took out the top pair a gift tag fell out. It said simply "Delores" (or what ever her name was). And then I remembered our conversations. They took on a whole new meaning.
Our friendship seemed a little strange after that. Not long after that the guitar picker wandered off in search of some big boobed woman with no kids and who liked to set it the bar and listen to him twang away on his guitar. I moved on, but that Christmas has always lived in the back of my mind. It is nothing I talk about but it still pops up in memory every now and then. I am sure his mom is no longer alive so I can write about it now. He may still be around, but who knows? The whole thing is just one of those things that transpired and then was gone. It was important at the time, and in hindsight was really nothing at all.
Just goes to show you that sometimes what really wasn't stays in memory and becomes just that, a memory.
