"Twenty four little hours. Now there is sun and floweres, where there used to be you." Those are words to a song. Seems like that was a song that fit a lot of situations back in days gone by. It also fits a lot of situations today. We are all given our lives and we set out on paths to either spend them wisely or fritter them away by doing nothing.
Sometimes we set off in one direction and then do a complete turn around and head some where totally opposite of what we wanted to do. Sometimes we end up doing things we never dreamed we wanted to do and it is a good thing. Sometimes it is not.
There is also the "random factor" that comes into play from time to time. A train can pass harmlessly through a crossing every day at the same time for years and no one notices, but on the one day that Mr. Brown leaves his house 10 minutes late he arrives at the crossing at exactly the same time as the train and if he is slow to apply his brakes, it may very well be the end of Mr. Brown. Some might call it "fate". But is it?
Some speak of a thing called "pre-destination". Do we come into this world at a predetermined time and exit at a predetermined time or is it all completely random? Or is it a combination of both? Have you ever experienced de javu? This may or may not be the proper spelling, but de javue is that moment in time where something is happening (or has happened) and you are thinking, "I have been here before! I know what will happen next." Maybe you can change the outcome and maybe it just plays out to a predetermined ending.
I like to think that I was placed here by a God who watches over me and keeps me pretty much in line. You know, a God who loves me and wants only the best for me and I will live happily until one day when he gently reaches down, smiles at me and takes me by the hand to live in glory forever. That is a very pretty picture and while I believe this to be mostly true, I do know he made one mistake with mankind. He gave us free will. And there, my friend, is my downfall! Not only my downfall, but the undoing of every man, woman, and child on this earth!
I started out well with dreams of becoming a missionary and saving the lives and souls of the wretched natives in the wilds of Africa. Had I clung to that goal, would I have succeeded or would I have ended up in a pot over a fire and become a meal for a bunch of naked natives in the outback? What this all boils down to is this: CHOICES. Some of my choices have been made with no thought at all as to the eventual outcome.
Momma always said, "Hindsight is 20/20 looking back." What this means is simply that I can now see what I should have done and the choice I should have made when Mr. Earl Duane Seeger asked me to dance that night at the Crow Bar. But then, had I declined I would not have my little family of Debbie, Patty, Dona, Sam and Susie, would I? I would not have my grandchildren nor my great grandchildren.
While I do not see my kids very often during this Covid business, it does not mean I love them any less. My choices now cover children in 3 states; Kansas, Colorado and Texas. This past week my middle daughter lost a son. This means I lost my first grandchild. He made the choice to jump in the car and "run into town." He had probably done this a hundred times before, but this time he did not come back.
While we will miss him we will remember the free spirit that was our little Joey. With a heart full of love we will bid farewell to the life of a young man will never reach his full potential and will always be remembered as just Joe. But then again, maybe he did fulfill his mission in life! He taught us that love knows no bounds and that the mold was not built for everyone to fit inside.
I will always remember the last time I saw him. I was ready to leave and return to Colorado. He was fiddling with his phone, but we have the understanding that when parting there has to be a hug, and an "I love you " said. Even if we are in a hurry, or upset, or whatever. Amicable partings are a part of life and always accompanied by a hug and an "I love you." And I had that with Joey that day.
So RIP Joey. Go fly free knowing that you were loved while here on this earth and will be remembered always in a special corner of my heart.
Grandma.
https://youtu.be/OQxRiv0jqmM
