When I awake in the morning, I usually reflect on times gone by. Often they are waaaaaaaaaaaaay bygone, but sometimes more recent. This morning I was counting my blessing, one of which is that I still seem to have a healthy body and a good portion of my mind at my disposal! But then I drifted to a place where a friend of mine named Nancy was stored.
Nancy was a lady, to say the very least. She was very smart having a background in teaching both in primary school , but later in college. She was married with 4 children, grown and gone. The children were also very smart and successful in their chosen fields. She was always very well groomed and never seemed to be flustered by anything life handed her. She was a widow by the time I met her.
She and I were both retired and widowed. She lived with two sons who were old enough to have families, but had never married nor reproduced. My family was grown and gone on to build lives outside of the Pueblo area. So as two settled in our lives adults, we became friends.
As such we went to lunch usually once a week. Sometimes she prepared food and sometimes I did. But mostly I would pick her up and we would go "out for lunch". We took turns picking up the check or we went dutch. Just depended on our mood. We would then go for a walk somewhere interesting, like the Nature Center, or one of the nearby parks. Just two adult women killing a little time and catching up on the weeks events. But that all changed.
Sometimes there would be a lapse in the conversation that lasted longer than it should. I would ask a question and she would smile at me. Usually she was waiting on the porch when I arrived since I called her from a block away, but sometimes I would have to go to the door. It became my responsibility to do all the driving at one point.
Then I began to notice, her hair which was a beautiful silver, was not always combed. Our conversations became more me talking and her listening. Then our weekly lunches became further apart. She never called me, I always called her. So we began to drift apart. Then her daughter called to tell me that she had gone into a senior retirement home, temporarily. Of course I went to see her.
She was the perfect lady, as usual. She began to talk about how she remembered the kindness my son had shown her when he removed a tree from her yard. My son lives in Dallas, so I was sure that was a hallucination. The next visit she asked if I would like her to make us lunch. She explained that she had lots of food in her refrigerator and opened the door to reveal one orange and a bottle of water. I knew the facility had a dining hall so she was fed, but she sure was not equipped to prepare a meal from that meager refrigerator. My heart broke that day.
I never went back. She had no idea who I was, so I did not want to further confuse her. It just broke my heart that such a beautiful and brilliant woman could have this happen to her and she did not even know it was going on. She passed a few weeks later. I guess that is how this disease works. You forget your friends, your family and then your body. It is so sad, but then it is over.
I miss her. I will always miss her, but I miss a lot of people at my age. It looks like I am destined to live for a long time because I have the genes for it. I do not think I have the dementia gene because only one member of my family ever had it, to my knowledge. My hope is that I will get older, have a clear mind and then just drop dead watching the geese chasing grasshoppers in the back yard.
Momma always used to say "God will never give you more than you can handle." Momma is right.
Momma was always right!
Peace!
