The one thing I have learned and the hardest thing for me to do is to set back and let someone else take the lead and do something for me. My years with hospice were so fulfilling because it all came naturally to me. My job was to accept a client in or near their final journey. Sometimes the job was just a one night or day, but several lasted longer and I became a "part of the family" and remained so for the duration of that person's journey. So it was with Dorothy and later Doug. Mona was one, as was Ruby. My latest was Annie.
In all of these journeys I have dealt with families on a very close and personal level. Early in the relationships, I would set with the family member while the caregivers took time for other activities. They knew someone that they could trust was with mother, father, or whoever. When death is imminent the family sometimes just needs a "friend" to help them understand what the process entails. While I am not an expert on death by any means I do know that death is inevitable, and no one is going to get out of this world alive.
In most of my dealings I was able to establish a relationship with the client and we could talk about the hereafter. Having never been there, I can only imagine what life on the other side of the veil could be like. I am pretty sure it is a big step up from life on this side and I tried to relay that to them. It is a fine line between preaching and visualizing a perfect world that is waiting for us.
It is after the death that I, by virtue of having been there through the last days, become a part of the family. My presence seems to give people a connection to the loved one on the other side. I can not explain it, but that is how it is. I no longer operate in the capacity of "companion", but I still deal with families who remember.
So now to the crux of the matter. I am no longer with hospice. I do not volunteer at any place. I rest on my laurels and that pretty much is about it. Covid has changed all of our lives and it is quite possible that this is our new normal. But, I have been invited out by my friends Rebecca and Ron for a high tea at Miramount Castle in Manitou. And I am going! And here is the one thing I have learned:
My first thought was "Oh, no! I can not do that. It will cost her a lot of money and time and I am not worth the effort." But then I analyzed the situation. Rebecca is a wonderful person as is her husband, Ron. [She actually sent him out to scope out the fox problem in hopes there was something they could do.] They are dear friends and as such want to do something nice and include me! So..... Saturday I am being picked up by car and transported to a High Tea! I am sure it will be lovely and you can bet I will be giving you a full report.
Sometimes I have to just remember, that there are people out there who care about me and want to show me. It is called accepting from others. It is an art I need to cultivate.
I am so excited by this new adventure that I am almost tempted to go buy a dress. Key word there is almost!
Stay tuned for a full report next week!
