Never let your right hand know what your left hand is doing,

My mother always said that to me.  I do not know how many times that has popped into my head in my lifetime.  When I was younger and sometimes thought of doing something that I knew was wrong, that would run through my mind.  Try as I might, I could never make it work.  I fell in with a girl who shoplifted.  Sadly, her mother had taught her how.  I thought that was sad, but here was a mother who explained that the stores had lots of money, lots of products and they would never miss just one, or two.  I never asked my mother if this was right or wrong, but I did reason that if my right hand did not know what my left hand was doing that it was alright.  And her mother was an adult and adults knew stuff.

Sadly, her father also made homebrew and stored it in the cellar with the door wide open.  I think I was probably 16 at the time.  It was after I had lived with my grandma so I did not feel as connected to my family as I probably should have.  Grandma had died.  Great Grandma had moved to Southwest Kansas with her daughter and I was just sort of cut adrift.  So I was easy prey for someone who showed me a little attention.  My friends father always went to Hutch to gamble on the weekends, so the cellar was free game for whatever we wanted to do, which was to get drunk.  Get drunk and steal stuff.  I probably spent a year or so in that rut before I decided that it was a dead end party.

Time passed and I married, became a mother, divorced, remarried, and divorced several more times.  Some  where along the years I decided to pull my head out of my ass and become a decent human being.  I also became independent and learned to think for myself.  Stealing was wrong.  Drinking to oblivion was wrong.  Lying was wrong.  Hard work and honesty became a mantra that I was comfortable with and rather enjoyed.  I had always known about God and was baptized when I was 12 years old.  Looking back over my life I decided that I actually needed to wash all the sin away again.  So I did.

Now, the secrets I keep are just between me and God and they are mostly good ones.  I sometimes hand  money to someone just because.  My car is usually full of stuff to take to the migrant center.  When I buy groceries I purchase extra for the food banks around town.  I like to visit with the homeless.  I would bring them home with me, but I am afraid my kids would commit me.  I keep secrets from myself.  I just think that "but for the grace of God, there goes me."

My life is good.  My finances are fairly stable and I am mostly happy.  Sometimes I wonder just where this will all end.  Hopefully I can just not wake up some morning.  I do not want to get old and senile.  I do not want to have my diaper changed by one of my kids, but I guess what ever will be will be.  You know, the "Que sera, sera" thing.

As I set here at my desk, I have a cat on my lap, a dog at my feet and a cup of cold coffee to sip from.  Yep, life is good!  

Never let your right hand know what your left hand is doing.

Words from my mother.  And taken as a sentence sound kind of cryptic, but explained by my mother, they made perfect sense.  Most of us are giving people and will share what we have with those who have less, or those who are in need.  At least I like to think that is the case.

Most of you also know that I would give you the shirt right off my back if I thought you needed it and I like to think you would return the favor and I am sure you would!  So what is this all about anyway?  What does it have to do with not letting one hand know what the other hand is doing?  I will tell you.  It has come to my attention that some people are watching their hands a little to closely and maybe not letting go of what they give to another.  I do not want to become one of those people.  As an example, if I meet a man on the street and he is cold, I will give him my coat.  At that point I will walk away.  I could hide around the corner to see if he maybe sells it and then goes and buys a beer, but I would never do that.  I have given it to him and it is his to do with as he sees fit.  Ideally, he will use it to keep warm which was my original intent.

Maybe he has a friend who needs the coat more than he does.  Maybe he will wad it up and set on it so he does not get in the mud.  Who knows the fate of the coat at this point.  What I am trying to say is that as Christians we are often moved to do things and give things.  When this happens, we must let them go, and walk away.  I recently learned of an instance where someone had given something and it was sold.  The giver was hurt that this had happened.  Oft times when gifts are given to charities they are then sold and the cash used for other things, like gas bills, groceries, or medicine.  Maybe school supplies for migrant children.  Maybe that shawl you knitted and gave to the nursing home and pictured a little old lady keeping warm on a cold night ended up in a silent auction.  Or maybe the director took it across town to someone who was freezing because the heat was turned off in their apartment.  Or maybe someone who did not need it at all, sold it and did go buy beer with it! 

I guess what I am trying to say is this:  If you give it away, then give it away.  Let it go.  We have to do our part in trying to make the world a better place, but we can not do it all.  If you give something to someone, it is not yours to control.  Let it go.  And if you think that person abused your gift, then next time give to someone  that you think will do better with your offerings.  You could go to the person who offended you and talk to them.  "I gave you such and such and I think it went to some place I did not intend it to go."  Let them tell you what happened, but you should know that discussing it with anyone who will listen is only casting doubt on yourself.  And that is where the not letting one hand know what the other is doing comes into play. 

Take your gift.  Lay it on the alter, or place it in someone else's hand and walk away.  It is not yours anymore.  Your heart is not burdened with worldly goods.  Forget about it and move on to the next person who is in need and you will be wiser for it.

Just some thoughts this morning.

And who will eat my cinnamon rolls, asked the little red hen.

I woke up this morning in my usual why in the hell bother mood this morning.  First I made a batch of cinnamon rolls just because.  Then I checked out facebook and found the usual drama and who gives a damn anyway.  Then I pulled on some rattier than usual clothes and headed out back to drag the limb from the Apricot tree to the back to burn.  I remembered how the limb got on the ground.  I cut it with my little bow saw.  Oh, I had lots of friends who were going to do it.  Sure, it was no problem.  But in the meantime it kept rubbing on the gutter and the roof.  So I cut it and let it fall.  And there it lay.  Until now.    
Now it is in the back to be destroyed.  Of course my mind was working all the time my body was dragging those heavy limbs and I did sustain 5 new wounds in my leg and a really big one in my arm, which did not help my mood at all.

I have set a date of September 30 as some of you know, but few know what it means.  I will now tell you.  October 1 is my birthday.  I will be 74 years old.  I have spent the first half of my life doing for others in one way or another.  I have been a wife, mother, friend, confidante and whipping post.  I have cooked, cleaned, listened, wept, laughed, and sacrificed for anyone who asked.  I have loaned or given away a small fortune to anyone who needed it for what ever reason.  I asked nothing in return.  And usually that was what I got.

I know in order for me to live the last half of my life doing for myself, I will need to live to be 146 years old and we all know there is not much chance of that happening, but I am going to give it one helluva shot.  If not in a blaze then at least I am going to remember to thank every body for all they did for me.   I have a few minutes before I have to be through the shower and in to town, so I shall do that now.

To the men in my life who unloaded goose food out of the back of my car over the last 12 years, thank you.  Oh, wait!  Never mind, that was me.
To the kind soul who mowed my grass on this acre of greenery, thank you.  Oh, wait!  Never mind, that was me.
To the people who shovel my walk in the winter and break the ice on the pond out back, thank you.  Oh, wait!  Never mind, that was me.
To the people who eat my cinnamon rolls and then help clean up the kitchen, thank you.  Oh, wait!  Never mind, that was me.

To the people who tell me I do too much and I should learn how to say no, what if I had told you no?

To the friends who pick up the phone and call for no reason except to hear my voice and tell me to have a good day, thank you.  You know who you are.

If you borrowed it and brought it back, thank you.
If you borrowed it and did not bring it back, keep it

If I offended you, I apologize.
If you offended me, I forgive you.

Some of you will read this and assume I am nuts.  So be it.  We all have opinions.  They are just like butt holes, we all have them.
Some of you are sure it is not you I mean.
Some of you will think, oh, I should call her for no reason.  Don't bother.  Just write it off to Lou having a bad day.

Some of you will have no clue what I am talking about.

Whatever, just wait and see if October 1 brings a change.  If you call and I do not answer after that day, you will know you did not make the cut!

Chocolate Indulgence,Women's Shelter, and the YWCA from my side of the street!

Ever been to the YWCA annual Chocolate Indulgence?  Me neither, but that is about to change.   Several things have transpired to bring this little experience to the fore front.  First I have a kitchen that was designed by me and built by my dear late husband that is every cooks dream.  Lots of cabinets, lots of counter space, an island in the middle, stainless steel sinks, electric oven, and  cookware and bakeware with all the mixers and utensils one could only wish for at my fingertips.   That is the first thing.

 The second thing is a friend who loves to cook, but is limited by space at his home.  That coupled with my favorite hobby being the love of eating makes this a match made in heaven!  He started yapping about the competition at the Chocolate Indulgence and I was listening with one side of my brain as I am known to do.  I did keep picking up words like cream, butter, chocolate, baking, tasting and other hints that something good might be coming out of this little kitchen yet!  So by the time it dawned on me something was happening, he already had a plan.
So, I got online and downloaded all the info and the entry forms, added the event to my desktop calendar and began to take an active interest in what was going on here!  Having read the YWCA mission statement  (YWCA is dedicated to eliminating racism, empowering women and promoting peace, justice, freedom, and dignity for all.  Eliminating racism & empowering women. )   I decided this was a charity worthy of my attention and maybe a few dollars.  Lord only knows I could have used one of these back in the day.  Granted I am a little late getting on the band wagon on this one, but as a very wise woman (namely me) says, "Better late than never!"  So he has his list of things he is making and I have my one thing I will do.
I have already consumed two cakes, 4 pounds of candy, 11 cupcakes and three salted nuts to cleanse my palette!  I am starting to get a little excited here!  ( A little excited and a lot FAT! )  So we have to have our stuffat the convention center Friday, February 8 between 9 and 11:30 and then the judging is from 1-3.  I hope to go to the judging, but not sure my heart will take that.  I am  about to talk myself out of entering here!  Better be careful.  I hate to go aginst him in competition, but what the hell! 
I sure hated that they closed the pool at the YWCA.  It was so warm and nice, but I understand that our economy is kind of in the crapper right now and it took a lot of money to keep that thing open.  I learned how to swim in that pool a few years back.  Had that "learning to swim thing" on my bucket list for many years and decided I better just do it and get it over with.  My teacher was Doris Kester and she is such a lovely lady.  Well, in all fairness, everyone at the "Y" is just peachy.  And I love that Dennis Lowery to pieces!
I am putting you a link right here so you can go get all the info straight from the horses mouth, so to speak.  And look me up when you get there.  I am taking my grand daughter, who is a looker, and I am the little old grey headed lady beside her with chocolate smeared all over her face.  If I get a chance you may find me sitting in the chocolate fountain.  Yeah, I think I can manage that one!  So until then, Cheerio!


 

The potato is growing! Better hurry!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=180601681132&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT

See that link right there?  That is for the hottest item on eBay today and time is running out!  Anyone who knows me also knows my passion for the Southern Colorado AIDS Project.  I thought I would like a little potato soup and here was this little fellow, just begging to be picked.

This guy is sprouting so I can not guarantee anything except that it is a potato.  It is injured as all of our hearts are at one time or another.  Why am I telling you this?  Go see this prize for yourself and somebody better get to bidding.

I am going to have an auction a month and lord only knows what will turn up next!

So, getting pretty tired of talking about my past, let's do yours!

http://www.firstgiving.com/loumercer

Today is the last day for me to do this and I am not going to ask you for anything.  Will just leave that there for anyone who might be interested.

Now, talking about my good old days back in grade school and even high school was a kind of hoot and there is many memories that are actually humorous, sad, learning experiences and such, but we can just touch on those "I remember when" moments lightly in the future. But as you see I grew up.  No one is going to set around and read about me falling madly in love, having children, divorces, job, moving cross country, and all this because I am not going to write all that down.

I read something the other day that really made an impact on me.  It was another blog I follow.  It went something like this: "If he was so great, where is he today?  I he was such a butt hole, why did you marry him? If you would rather be there, why are you here?"  Then I had another friend explain it so I could understand it.  It is called "free rent in the noggin and that is not good."  I shall now interpret that into terms that you (I) can understand.  Something in the past that dwells in your mind and takes your mind off the present day is taking up space in your head.  Can not think of the present or future because that memory is getting free rent in your brain space.  It has to do nothing to stay there, except to be.

So, like the every changing woman I have become, I am cleaning out all the bad memories, all the dead weight, and all the frivolous things that don't make two whoops in hell (like my momma used to say).  Oh, I will remember my heritage and the strong deep roots that have brought me to the point I am today.  I will pass that on to my children and grandchildren, but they do not need to know every step I took to get to this day.  They only need to know that this is where I am.  I am in Colorado and I shall stay in Colorado.  I have very little family here as they are mostly back East, but I have friends,  mountains, blue skies and my home.  I have my church and my God.

There are people who count on me here.  If I were not here I am sure someone would step up and take my place, but they would never be me.  For some reason God saw fit to deliver me to this particular spot 33 years ago, and like a noxious weed seed that fell on fertile ground, I have taken root and flourished!  I am happy here and I am sure this is where I shall stay all the days of my life.  Who knows what the good Lord has in store for this little atom that is but a piece of space dust?  Stick around and find out!

This is my Church: First Congregational United Church of Christ

This is my new church. I love the United Church of Christ and have been a member for probably 20 years. Not at this church, but at the Christ Congregational UCC Church which is in Belmont. I will do a piece on that one later. For now, I want to introduce you to my present church and it's history.

This building was built in 1878 or thereabouts. It has lots of wood and lots of stained glass windows which I would love to see at night, but I don't get into town at night and if I did I would be inside the church. This building is on the Historic Registry and since it is a working building it really has to be kept in tip top shape. I am sure that the reception area which is called Mayflower Hall (and I am sure there is a story behind that name) along with the rest of that part was added later.

I really do not know a lot about the history so I am going to tell you about it from a parishoners point of view. We have a beautiful window called "The Rose Window" (again, for whatever reason) which is in dire need of repair. Well, not really repair, but restoration. This is a $20,000 project and I think we almost have enough money to do that.It is the original Tiffany Glass and is indeed a work of art.

The Rose Window is behind the other high point of the church which is the pipe organ. I do not know how many pipes this thing has, but they are BIG and there are a lot. I have not counted them because I am afraid it would be like the counting of sheep. Our organist is named Randy Tryon, and that guy must have been born with a pipe organ under him, because it is second nature to him. He fills our walls with the most beautiful music you have ever heard! That in itself is worth at trip over on Sunday morning.

We are a very small church as is Christ Congregational, our sister church, so we share a minister. Or at least when we get one we will share. I think that will be soon. The way it works is for 6 months we will meet at 9:30 and Christ will meet at a later time. Until we get said minister, we have temporary ministers. We have two who alternate.

The first one is Reverend Fred Dare. He is retired and comes to our church on alterate Sundays. The other one is Rev. Steve Parke. I know him a little better. He is retired from the State Hospital. He plays the guitar and sings us songs. Kind of a little hippie type fellow, but a loveable little cuss and gives a very good sermon. Well, so does Rev. Dare, but you know what I mean, just different types: poles apart! I do love them both.

Ok, I have rattled on long enough. I would love to have you visit my church just for the reasons I have given. It is sure worth the trip. We are in the phone book, or click and leave me a comment!

Remember the old song, "You go to your church and I'll go to mine, but we'll both walk along together!"

Resolutions, or the lack thereof.

Once more the New Year has come and gone and I did not swear by all that is holy that I would quit eating, quit complaining, quit cussing, feed the poor people, work from sun up to sundown, and never let a speck of dust settle on my furniture. For many years I made the resolution to quit smoking. This was really going to be the year! This time I would really quit. It never seemed to matter how firm I was in my resolution, it just never happened.
Then one day, without any forethought whatsoever, I got up and never smoked since. I had not planned it. There was no gum or other snacky food in the house and no one knew I had decided to make this life altering change, but here I am 10 months later, still smoke free. So here is my thoughts on the resolution thing:
I get up every morning and do the best I can all day long. For the most part, I don't gossip, lie, steal, kick dogs, and I do like babies. At times the foot gets a tad heavy on the accelerator, but that has been going on for 50+ years and I have yet to get a speeding ticket, so it can't be too bad. I would help old ladies across the street if I could find one wanting to go there.
I have a lot of friends, and I have those friends for a reason. I live my life in an honest and forthright manner, although I have been told I may be a tad overly forthright, but I see that is not changing, so why do I want to say I will change that when we both know I will not? I tend to surround myself with people who are like minded to myself.
If I did not like you on December 31, I am not going to like you on January 1, because there is probably a good reason I don't like you and it is probably not my fault I don't like you. It is your fault because you are not an honest, trustworthy, sober, reliable person. Or maybe you are into the "me" phase of your life. I like to help the poor, sick and the needy, because I can. There were many years when I did not have the resources to help those less fortunate then myself and while I am not rich I have time and talent to help others.
So, back to the resolution thing. If it will make you feel better, I shall make a resolution:

I, Lou Mercer, do hereby solemnly resolve, on this 3rd day of January in the New Year of 2010 that I will continue to live my life as I have in the past. I will not cheat, steal, lie, coerce or in any way degrade my fellow man. I will continue to laugh at you when you do something stupid, point out your faults, and give you my honest opinion whether you want it or not! I will continue to love each and every one of you in my own little way. I will continue to support the weak and down trodden and attend the church of my choice every Sunday!Peace to All!!