December 23, 1983

 That was a very long time ago!  A lot has changed since then, but a lot has remained the same.  It is 0 degrees right now, then it was -8.  Kenny and Gene Baugh had been working on a drive line for the tandem dump truck.  They went to Pueblo Brake to pick up the repaired one and they were closed.  Gene went home and Kenny and I went to Canon City, picked up a marriage license and proceeded to the Senior Citizens housing where we found a retired minister to "do the deed".  

And here I set 40 years later.  Temperature is hovering around the zero mark with no hope of warming in the near future.  I am alone now in this house where I have lived for 40 years.  There are a lot of memories here.  Some are sad but they are mostly happy.  I used to have 2 dogs and a couple cats, but now I just have one cat.  I have driven the same car for 6 years and have no need to buy a new one.  I have one calico cat.  I don't want any other color.  Her name is Icarus and for those of you who know who that is, yes, I do know that Icarus was a male and yes, I do know my cat is a female.  Sherman named her.

It was so cold yesterday that the geese never left their house.  I opened their door, but they stayed inside the wire part.  I will not be surprised to find a dead goose out there today.  I have had those things since Bret was 7 years old and he is 31 now.  I do not know how long they live, but I am strongly thinking they may outlive me!

I started this yesterday and lost interest.  Today is actually the day before Christmas, or Christmas Eve as it is known.  I will not be going to church tonight as I have become pretty much a hermit because of Covid.  I had a friend stop by yesterday afternoon to tell me he would pick me up and take me.  He had a little trouble understanding that I am afraid of crowds.  Covid has pretty much left me crippled socially.  A lot of people do not understand what a panic I go into when I think of going into a crowd of people.  But it is what it is.

So today, December 24, 2022, I want to tell all my friends, Merry Christmas.  Sorry my phobia is getting in the way, but there you have it.  I love Christmas and I like to watch it from the safety of my home.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Peace.

5 sons in law!

 The last blog I did was totally in accurate!  I have 5 sons in law and only God knows how many ex sons in law.  Course if I count the exes and the steps we could be here for days, so I am just not going there!  

I am not going into further detail.  I will just update you on the Covid-19 situation at my house.  Yesterday I went over to Mesa Pharmacy and got my booster.  In and out in 15 minutes.  Just had to wait to make sure I wasn't dizzy.  I love that place!  They have the sharpest needles in the world.  Not that I get a lot of shots but when I do, I so enjoy a sharp needle!

I am going to move my prescription over there since I am in there dropping things in thier mailbox several times a week.

I have to go buy goose food today and that is all for my errands.  Lord I hope this day is good!

Ok, I am out of here.  Have a good day!

Today is Thanksgiving Day.

 Oxymoron is defined in the dictionary as a figure of speech that seemingly contradicts, such as  "cruel kindness."  Today is Thanksgiving Day.  The day we give thanks for all the wonderful bounty that our creator has bestowed on us.  I am sorry.  While the turkey is in the oven as it has been for the last 79 years of my life, the bounty is not reflected in my heart.

We are in the middle of the worst pandemic of our lives.  The government leaders are begging us to isolate and stay in our homes, but the airlines are busy.  There is a festivity in the air that is completely asinine to the darkest sorrow in my heart.  Life is going on as usual in so many areas, but not here on South Road.

I have not seen my kids in over a year.  It has been longer than that since I seen my sister.  I only have one sister left. I have a few nieces and nephews that I never see and rarely hear from. A couple friends that I talk with several times a year and that is about it. The Aunts and Uncles have all faded from the horizon and I am left in the abyss that is called my life.  My life is in Colorado now.  I have friends here and I had a special friend named Anthony.

Anthony has been gone 5 days.  We had plans.  He was such a caring man.  I wish the whole world could have known the simple little soul that was Anthony.  If I have to say something I am grateful for today, it can only be that he was in my life for the time he was in my life and he touched me to the very depth of my soul. My world is a better place for him having shared a part of it.

He loved the moon.  I loved the moon.  We looked at it together, he on his side of town and me on the mesa.  We talked every day.  Sometimes it was just a touch base thing and sometimes we talked for hours.  We had different opinions about many things, but we respected each other and that made it good. I had coffee with him every Sunday after church.  It was the high point of my week.  And then he got sick.

Thanksgiving?  I think not.  I will cook the turkey, because that is what I do.  I will feed the geese, because that is what I do.  I will sleep through Jeopardy!  because that is what I do.  I will remember that Anthony would call me when the opening theme song of Jeopardy! started and tell me good night.  He knew.  He understood me and he loved his family.  He missed his family.  He told me that many times.  And now his family will miss him.  

The gentle giant is with us no more, but as sure as there is a God above and the deep blue sea below this man will live in the hearts of everyone who knew him. 

For now, Rest In Peace, knowing you are missed by so many and loved by all who knew you.

Until we meet again........

Nobody's Cat.

 The same sun came up this morning, just like it has every day for so many years, but this time it is different.  It is an empty sun shining on an empty world.  I do not know how many people there are on this little ball we call earth, but I am sure it numbers in the billions or trillions.  That does not matter to me.  What matters is the one person who is not here.  The one person who made my world turn.  The one person who could brighten my day and give meaning to my life.  The one person who understood when I was sad and laughed when I was happy.  The one person whose hand was warm and whose eyes were bright.  The man who wrote "wash me" on my back car window.  The man who fixed my coffee with just the right amount of froth to the creamer.

When I met this man many years ago he was taking care of his invalid mother.  He was so kind to her and so solicitous of her every need that I thought he must surely have wings under his shirt.  Our first serious conversation concerned an old cat that lived on his patio.  I asked whose it was and he said "no ones" it just lived there.  

I asked him about the small crate the cat slept in. "Well, I put it there so it could get out of the weather."

How did it come to be on his porch?  Well, it followed him home from the store.  It was a kitten then and he had to pick it up several times because it was tired and lagged behind.  He did not want it to get lost.  Did it ever come in the house?  Well, sometimes because it was cold he let it sleep with him.  I thought it pretty much qualified as being his cat and when he had to have it put to sleep he cried just like it was his pet.  But he still said no.

Over the years we became friends.  We learned to understand each others idiosyncrasy's.  It was tit for tat and yang for yang.  He was an  independent man and I was an independent woman.  We were friends in a way that many people strive for and few people achieve.  I shall never stop reaching for his hand and never stop waiting for the phone to ring.

Fly free, my little friend.  God has gained a priceless treasure in his store house of love.

When is it my turn?

I have been setting here watching this whole pandemic since the beginning and I have these observations:
1.  YOU have your constitutional rights and you choose not to wear a mask.  Well, I would like you to clarify just where your constitutional rights supersede my constitutional rights to breathe?

See, the thing here is I go to the store.  The store is required to require that a mask be worn.  There is disinfectant every where because they are required to provide this in order to be open so I can go to the store and buy groceries.

The store is in compliance.  I have my mask and I am in compliance.  Now I am standing in the checkout line after giving you and your "constitutional rights" a wide berth all the way through the  store.  And here you come.  The 6 foot marks are clearly marked, but you have gone so long thinking this_____________________ is 6 inches that 6 feet means absolutely nothing to you.  There you stood looking like a damn moron, drooling over your Twinkies and 6 pack that were the situation any different, I could have laughed.  But I didn't.

 My thoughts were this:  I am 78 years old.  You are probably pushing 30.  I need groceries, but then you need your sugar fix and a beer is sure going to make you feel better.  I was next in line.  You would have walked right past me, but I think you knew deep down, that I was not going to let you do that.

I smiled at you.  You looked at your phone.  I see you for what you are.  You are an arrogant bastard and you have constitutional rights and no goddam body is going to make you wear a mask.  I am sorry, but I grew up in a different world.  My mother instilled in me the knowledge that all men are created equal.  We ALL have rights and not all of them were given by the constitution.  Some of them are called "common decency". 

One of them is as follows:  Respect your elders.  By the mere fact that I survived 78 years I deserve to have my space in the line at the grocery store.

I wear my mask and that is no concern to you one way or the other.  Wiser men than you decided that this virus is killing people at an alarming rate and we need to do everything in our power to slow it down.  We are now living with a virus that replicates faster in the United States than any where else in the world and I think that it is thanks to idiots like you who have your "constitutional right" to do what ever you choose.  I myself, think you should be jailed for attempted murder.

I do not worry about catching this because I practice good hygiene and protect myself from selfish people like you.  I have grandchildren that I want to protect.  I would like to get back to my church someday, but regardless of whether that happens or not, I will be alright.  I will go to Lagrees again and I will no doubt encounter you again.  I will smile at you, again, because that is who I am, but know this, my friend, you are an asshole.  I know I do not have the right to be judge and jury, but you are an asshole nonetheless.

So have a good day.  You will know me when you see me because I wear the mask with the pussy cats on it!

All that is missing is the sign nailed to the front door.

It is day number something of the shut down and social distancing and I am about to go stir crazy.  First there is this matter of not knowing what day it is.  I used to go to church and so I knew when Sunday and then Monday was.  The grandson came on Wednesday and Thursday.  That is past history.  Can't even spot the weekdays by what soap opera is playing, since they are all screwed up also.

So now I have a white board on the back door and whoever knows what day it is has the chore of writing it for me to see.  So far this week I have had 6 Wednesdays.  Looking forward to Monday.  I know when people get old and have help coming in, it is the job of the caregiver to assess the client and part of that is to ask them what day it is.  That works really well if one of the people knows for sure.  I have however devised a plan to figure out what day it is.  I look down in the corner of the screen on the computer and get the number of the day.  then I look at my fireman calendar and find that number.  This works well as long as I am on the right month.  And then there is the act of remembering the day until I get to the next one.  What I should have done was start marking off days, but they all seem to run together.

I spent yesterday down in the sewing room and actually got the cutting table cleaned off.  Also found a quilt top which I quilted, bound and now have it laying across the back of my recliner ready for my morning nap.  When I got up this morning, I was excited for several reasons.  The first, I am on the right side of the sod.  I cleaned the bathroom yesterday, so I do not have to do that today.  I thought I would maybe go out and burn some limbs I have out back.  Maybe I will rake around a little.  I need to go buy some Aamdro because I have a giant red ant hill right by the bottom step of the deck.  These are the mean ones.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
Not sure this program is still working, but going to publish this.  Just want to keep in touch with the real world.  Better times are coming!  Hang tight.