Made the mistake of going through the drive through at Wendy's in Pueblo West yesterday. Have you been through one of those lately? Damn near a fatal mistake. First, I do not have the menu committed to memory, so I have to actually look at it. Well, no, the first thing that has to happen is I have to manuver the car into a position so I can SEE the menu. That being accomplished I then need to see the words. Now I wear trifocals so one of the three levels of glass should afford me the ability to actually see the words. Now seeing the words and awakening my taste buds to that particular item is usually like passing something through congress. And it helps to have some little chickadee blasting through the speaker "Yareddy?" "Reddynowhuh?"
Now there was not another car in sight so I am sure I was not holding up the line. I finally had to tell her, "Listen honey, I am 70 years old and any meal I eat may be my last so I want to be sure it is something I will remember on my luge ride to the Pearly Gates. So cool your heels and I will call you when I want you."
Apparently that either ticked her off or appeased her cause she got very quiet. I finally decided on the value menu hamburger with french fries and no drink. So I called her back to the mic.
"I would like the hamburger and an order of french fries on the value menu."
"Yawantcheeseonthat?"
"Huh?"
"Yawantcheeseonthatornotcheese?"
"Huh" This girl was talking way faster than my ears could listen. "Wait a minute, just let me slow that down." I put my brain in warp speed and played it back to me. "You want cheese on that or no cheese."
"Ok, I got it. No I do not want cheese on that. For future reference had I wanted cheese I would have ordered the Cheeseburger for 40 cents more."
"Whatsizefriessmallmediumlargeorsupersize?"
"Huh?"
"Whatsizefriessmallmediumlargeorsupersize?" Once more I played the warp speed slow down and play back game. "What size fries? Small, medium, large, or supersize?"
"Well honey, which size comes on the value menu for $1.19?"
"Small."
"Ok, I will take the small."
"Whattadrink?" I immediately translated that and told her, "Nothing." Not going to guess what I might have ended up with on that one.
" $2.47." And I took that as a dismissal. Since no drawer was proffered and no hand came out the window I took that as a signal that I should proceed on the drive way to the next window. Sure enough a hand popped out, grabbed my money, an pushed a sack towards me, which I grabbed before it hit the ground.
Now this is an open letter to all you little fresh faced little newbies entering the work force.
Dear Who ever you are,
I am old. My ears have apparently not kept up with changing times. They are slow. When you speak to me you need to leave spaces between your words. At the end of the sentence there will be a period which indicates a breathe before forging to the next sentence. Like this..."Hello, Old Lady. I know you are slow witted and not always sure what you want, but I will give you a little time to decide. I realize you did not wake up this morning knowing what you would want for lunch at a fast food place and since you are paying and eating it I will let you decide. And I realize your bladder is only so big and I will not push the super size drink out the window at you." Or something like that.
I choose Wendy's over the other places because of the fresh faced little girl and Dave Thomas and his honest appeal. MacDonalds has a reputation of luring children with thier ads so I never go there. Burger King is alright, but seems a little pricey and austere. I actually prefer the Senior Menu at Village Inn, but that involves setting alone and I do not like to do that.
You need to know that since you are just entering the work force you probably have 50 years ahead of you during which you will no doubt encounter a lot of us old farts, but remember this, some day you are going to look down at the cuff of your shirt and see your mother's hand coming out of the sleeve. To interpert, this means some day you are going to be old. When I was young we were taught to respect our elders. To help them across the street. And if we encountered one who seemed a little confused we were to be patient with them. Try it.
In exchange for that, I will pay my bill promptly and move out of the way for the next customer. And I will smile at you, because I actually like people and I know the next generation will be the one that slaps me in the nursing home.
So have a good day and take pity on us old people.
And those are my thoughts for today. Today I will take a sandwich with me.
Now there was not another car in sight so I am sure I was not holding up the line. I finally had to tell her, "Listen honey, I am 70 years old and any meal I eat may be my last so I want to be sure it is something I will remember on my luge ride to the Pearly Gates. So cool your heels and I will call you when I want you."
Apparently that either ticked her off or appeased her cause she got very quiet. I finally decided on the value menu hamburger with french fries and no drink. So I called her back to the mic.
"I would like the hamburger and an order of french fries on the value menu."
"Yawantcheeseonthat?"
"Huh?"
"Yawantcheeseonthatornotcheese?"
"Huh" This girl was talking way faster than my ears could listen. "Wait a minute, just let me slow that down." I put my brain in warp speed and played it back to me. "You want cheese on that or no cheese."
"Ok, I got it. No I do not want cheese on that. For future reference had I wanted cheese I would have ordered the Cheeseburger for 40 cents more."
"Whatsizefriessmallmediumlargeorsupersize?"
"Huh?"
"Whatsizefriessmallmediumlargeorsupersize?" Once more I played the warp speed slow down and play back game. "What size fries? Small, medium, large, or supersize?"
"Well honey, which size comes on the value menu for $1.19?"
"Small."
"Ok, I will take the small."
"Whattadrink?" I immediately translated that and told her, "Nothing." Not going to guess what I might have ended up with on that one.
" $2.47." And I took that as a dismissal. Since no drawer was proffered and no hand came out the window I took that as a signal that I should proceed on the drive way to the next window. Sure enough a hand popped out, grabbed my money, an pushed a sack towards me, which I grabbed before it hit the ground.
Now this is an open letter to all you little fresh faced little newbies entering the work force.
Dear Who ever you are,
I am old. My ears have apparently not kept up with changing times. They are slow. When you speak to me you need to leave spaces between your words. At the end of the sentence there will be a period which indicates a breathe before forging to the next sentence. Like this..."Hello, Old Lady. I know you are slow witted and not always sure what you want, but I will give you a little time to decide. I realize you did not wake up this morning knowing what you would want for lunch at a fast food place and since you are paying and eating it I will let you decide. And I realize your bladder is only so big and I will not push the super size drink out the window at you." Or something like that.
I choose Wendy's over the other places because of the fresh faced little girl and Dave Thomas and his honest appeal. MacDonalds has a reputation of luring children with thier ads so I never go there. Burger King is alright, but seems a little pricey and austere. I actually prefer the Senior Menu at Village Inn, but that involves setting alone and I do not like to do that.
You need to know that since you are just entering the work force you probably have 50 years ahead of you during which you will no doubt encounter a lot of us old farts, but remember this, some day you are going to look down at the cuff of your shirt and see your mother's hand coming out of the sleeve. To interpert, this means some day you are going to be old. When I was young we were taught to respect our elders. To help them across the street. And if we encountered one who seemed a little confused we were to be patient with them. Try it.
In exchange for that, I will pay my bill promptly and move out of the way for the next customer. And I will smile at you, because I actually like people and I know the next generation will be the one that slaps me in the nursing home.
So have a good day and take pity on us old people.
And those are my thoughts for today. Today I will take a sandwich with me.
