There is more than one way to skin a cat or a dog, for that matter.

Soon after I lost my husband I decided to buy new furniture.  I opted for the microfiber, looks like leather, wears forever, and can hold a dog hair against a jet engine vacuum.  Looked real good and is not foo-foo.  It was very soon that I decided I would need to cover it because the dog spent the day on it and left a pile of hair behind.  So I covered it.  Then I realized that I now had to wash the cover, dry it , and replace it every time I cleaned house.

I bought doggie beds for them.  That did no good.  Scolding, water bottles, and bells were no use what so ever.  I ordered 2 "scat mats" which are plastic runners with electric wires inside that shoots out a charge when the dog hops up there.  The only one that seemed to get any sort of reaction was company who sat on it and me when I forgot and put my hand on it.  You would have thought I would have remembered after the first 85 times.  When I watched dear Elvira walk the full length of the couch, yipping all the way, I decided that was a waste of batteries.

My next approach was the big sheets of bubble wrap with the big bubbles.  Decided on that when I stepped on it once and almost scared myself to death.  That method worked for about a year and I realized I had become known by visitors as "Queen of the red necks."  Frankly, I did not give a damn because the dogs were staying off the couches.  Famous last words.  Dear Daisy learned how to pull the bubble wrap off the couch and she could get white hair the complete length and breadth of the sofa.  According to my calculation and the amount of vacuum cleaner bags being used, that damn dog should be as bald as a billiard ball!

Bad Daisy!

I tried piling boxes on it which worked for a while.  When my patience was completely gone, I vacuumed one last time.  Then I stood it up on the arm and there it sets.  Either way, I can not set on it.  I get quizzical looks when company comes, but I am not a stickler for strange looks.  That happens fairly regular in my world!  

So here we have the couch that I can not set on, but smug in knowing neither can the dogs.  But as always in my world, I do not have the last word nor the last laugh.

This is dear Icarus, the calico cat that always has the last laugh!  Do you recognize where her new bed is located?

As for me, I will be perched on a wooden stool at the kitchen counter.  That is my place, until they change their minds and decide to share that space also!

You can not spinkle showers of happiness on other people without getting a few drops on yourself!

Roll of scotch tape; roll of linoleum.

I was thinking last night about how when I was small and we would move into a rented house what would transpire.  First the walls had to be repapered.  Before I could remember that part I understand sometimes the papering was with newspapers.  But we must have been rich because we had actual wall paper.  Usually it was some sort of flower stuff.  We did not always paper every room, but we did like the clean feeling new paper gave to the house.  After the rooms were papered came the most fun of all.

Off the parents went to the place, which was usually the furniture store, to buy our new floor.  Back in those days the furniture store was owned by Mr. Warn and his brother, Doc Warn, owned the appliance store and repair.  The furniture store also carried caskets, in case you died waiting for your new linoleum to arrive!  Did you ever hear of linoleum?  You measured your room and if it was 12' x 12' you told Mr. Warn and he would take you to the size you needed and show you a picture of it to make sure you liked it.  Sometimes there were several to choose.  The linoleum was rolled up and inside a big cardboard tube.  We usually carried it home since we did not have a car and the horses were supposed to be for work and this was fun!

When we got it home Dad would very carefully cut the tube.  Sometimes it would slide out the end and then we had the tube to play with which was way better than the linoleum to my way of thinking!  Any way, after it was out of the tube it had to lay there and rest and loosen up and we were not to touch it for any reason because if we did it would crack.  I think it was straight asbestos with a picture painted on one side.  As it relaxed it started to loosen and unfurl a bit.  At that point we were allowed to very gently unroll it.  If we met with any resistance we had to stop and wait some more.  This is the reason you only bought linoleum in the summer.  Cold weather slowed the process considerably.

After a couple days of tending to the roll it finally was completely unfurled.  It was rolled so when it was unrolled the design was on top.  Otherwise we would have had to flip it.  When it was all the way open we were allowed to walk very gently on it and finish flatening it.  Always in our bare feet.  Hell yes!  Well we never had shoes in the summer anyway!  So now the room was perfect.  And now the furniture could be brought back in from where ever it was.  Well, first, the wood stove had to be placed.  Moving into a new home always meant we got a new thing to put under the wood stove.  That was a big piece of asbestos covered with an enamaled piece of tin. 

You should make note here that asbestos is now illegal and is considered Hazardous Waste.  We did not know that when we were walking on it, setting hot pans on it, and generally using it for every thing imaginable.  Probably had a piece in each hand when we ran through the cooling mist of the machine spraying DDT to kill the mosquitoes on a hot summer night!

Ah, Home Sweet Home!!! 

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