I woke up this morning with the remnants of a poem in my mind. I think it has already been written, but I can not find it nor recall the words. It has been in my mind as long as I can remember, so if it rings a bell with anyone, let me know. To me it has always been the epitome of the way a perfect relationship should be.
I do not want to walk ahead of you, because you may not follow.
I do not want to walk behind you, because I may not follow.
I want to walk beside you, beneath your arm where I am protected and near your heart where I am loved.
Country music singers and song writers have been writing the perfect love songs for as long as I can remember. Garth Brooks and his "The Dance" pretty well sums up the loving and losing. And then there is this by John Michael Montgomery click here. Growing up in Nickerson was conducive to wanting a better life. And along with the better life was always the thought of a perfect husband. We all know how that went! A husband should never be a "destination" in life. I always pictured a husband as an equal partner.
When I embarked on my first marriage I was full of hope. I think he was also, but hope for what I was never sure. I wanted security and a man to love and fulfill me. That did not end up well for me, but I chalked it up to a life lesson and moved on. By the time I reached Colorado my kids were pretty well on the paths they would take and I was pretty well set in my ways. When Kenny and I married it was clear that we were soon to be entering into the sunset of our lives. We would grow old, retire and die. One of us succeeded in that, but one of us did not.
So here I set. Kenny has been gone 20 years. I have had a couple male friends, but nothing romantic. It seems that my place in their lives was to help them cross the bar. I know I did it right with Sherman, because I saw the look of contentment on his face when he took his final breathe. The other was different. I know I held a special place and I was very sad when it was over, but I do so hope that he found the peace he sought.
So anyway. This is not a good way to start the day, but it is what it is. I shall put one foot in front of the other and follow where life leads me. Maybe it will be a good day. I can always hope!
Peace and sunshine and if that poem up there strikes a chord and you remember seeing it some where, hit me up!
