Counting today, there are only 5 days left in this year.
Momma nailed it when she said "When you are over the hill you pick up speed." I look back over the years and try to find that skinny little girl that ran up and down Strong Street barefooted. If only my life could be lived in reverse! I see all my missed opportunities and think, "Woulda', coulda' shoulda' ", but I didn't. Now it is too late!
When I came to Colorado all those years ago, I did so on a temporary whim. I would come and live, but if Charlie and I parted ways, I would move back. We parted ways and I stayed, but only temporarily. But then one year turned to 2, and then 3. I stayed and married Kenny, but with the goal in mind that when he passed I would return to Hutchinson. When he passed, I didn't leave. Things and commitments kept me here. I own my home. I have 2 kids here, 1 in Lakin, two in Longton, one in Texas. My last husband is buried in Memorial Gardens and my name is on the other half of his tombstone.
I live all alone in a 2400 square foot house. My friend list gets shorter every year. We adopted Bret. I also acquired 37 ducks and 7 geese,. I built a pond. Kenneth passed away. I said when the ducks and geese were gone, I would move to town. The foxes ate the ducks. I said when the geese were gone, I would move to town. We are at a standstill now! I have 7 geese that are ageless! I keep buying feed and they keep eating it. Every night I close them in their house and every morning I let them out. Once a month I go to Big R and buy 3 bags of grain.
My grass is dead because I forget to water it. The 98 rose bushes I had at one time are all turned wild and been dug up and tossed on the heap. Bret married and moved away and started his second family. I just keep getting older. I think about going back "home". Where is home? Hutchinson? Nickerson? Garden City? Lakin?
Every year I think back to what I should have done and didn't. It is probably a little bit late for me to put the toothpaste back in the tube. So, I get up every morning and go to bed every night. Habit, I guess. I know any one of my kids would like me to come and live with them, but I just can not see that happening! I keep hoping I will get lucky and just not wake up some morning, but so far that is a pipe dream!
So, I close this and go let the decrepit old geese out, throw a rock at the neighbors cats that have wandered into my yard and look west at the beautiful mountains and remember why I never packed up and moved back to the flatlands of Kansas!
Peace!
