My first memories of Christmas include waking up and running in to the dining room table where Santa had left our gifts. There was the usual panties and socks. And then a ball and an orange. There was also some sort of candy; not much, but something. Mostly we got a chocolate thing that was about an inch high and inside it was something made with powdered sugar and it was disgusting. I can tell you this now since Mother is no longer with us, that this particular candy was gross! The chocolate did not have a taste since it was mostly wax. The powdered sugar filling was hard, but that was 70 years ago before all the preservatives came to make sure nothing dries out or loses what ever taste it had.
Ah, but at the bottom of the pile was what I coveted most! A brand new Big Chief Tablet. It was red. Always red, I think. I think this is what it looked like back then. Mother always included a pencil and I think she was killing 2 birds with one stone, so to speak. The fact that we had to furnish our own books and tablets and pencils and such came into play at Christmas. She had to buy them anyway, so might as well give Santa the credit.
What momma did not realize that a sheet of paper and a pencil with a sharp point was all I ever wanted out of life. I wanted to write poetry. That was my sole goal in life. It would be followed later by the desire to write a book, which was followed by wanting to change the world. Reality deemed that I would work and raise children. Motherhood took precedence over my wants and desires, but it has been fulfilling and I am proud of all of my children today. Granted none of them every made it into the highest office in the land, but I consider that one of my greatest blessings. I digress.
Some where in my past lives poems and short stories that will never be found or read by another human, but I know. I can not always voice my thoughts, but I can write them. I do have a gift for that, and for that I thank God. What the world does not know is that if I am sad, I write. If I am happy I write. If I am fired up for a cause whether it be gay rights, abortion, civil rights, women's rights, homelessness, or any of the myriad of things that cross my sight daily; I write.
But here is the deal. When I write I share happy thoughts, and I hope I make you smile. When I write I release the demons that tear at my soul, and I hope you understand that also. Sometimes I just want to share a tiny glimmer of hope that has flitted across my radar. For some people, a drink after work relieves the pressure. Some people jog. I write.
So here is the deal; I will keep writing if you will keep reading. My blog has a counter so I know there are several someone's out there reading what I write. Feel free to leave a comment, good or bad. That way I know I made a connection.
In the meantime, I have youtube playing in the background and this song tears my heart right out of my body.
click herehttps://youtu.be/KZ-4LwfCClk
