I have always prided myself on how well preserved I am. Hard to convince people that I am actually 70 years old. Well, now it may be catching up with me. My foot has been hurting since last September, so I decided to go have it checked out. Now before you get all excited thinking why did I put it off, I will tell you.
See I was setting a new stock tank for the geese. That entailed digging. I thought I had probably bruised my foot. So I kind of took it easy for a few days. Then it was October and I began to think maybe I had sort of did the hairline fracture thing so I started doubling up on the Calcium. By then we were just past Thanksgiving, and then there was Christmas to contend with and then New Years. So this was actually the first chance I had to see Doctor. That and the fact that I seemed to recall a woman who had stepped on a needle and years later it showed up on an x-ray. This sure felt like a needle.
So I called and of course, Deb got me right in.
Doctor was very surprised to see me and after exchanging pleasantry's he checked my chart. Now bear in mind that my blood pressure is always right there on the normal number and never fluctuates. Well, except today when it found it necessary to jump up 12 points. So here I sat with a needle in my foot ready to break loose and head for my heart and the elevated blood pressure. I tried to explain to him that when she took my blood pressure, we were talking. This really tickled him.
"So when you talk your blood pressure jumps up?"
"Well, no, but I am under a lot of stress."
"Stress from what?"
"Well, that needle in my foot that is probably moving steadily to my heart while we are talking for one thing!"
"X-ray will pick up a needle like that!" Course he snapped his fingers, because that is what they do. "Now what else?"
So I explained about how busy I have been selling on ebay.
"Oh, dear, making money stresses you?"
I told him about the big ice glacier in my front yard.
"Oh, dear, ice stresses you?"
I told him about all the things I do in my "spare time".
"Oh, you would rather vegetate?"
To make a long story short, the man knows me very well and he puts up with no crap and excuses. I love him and have since the first day I met him. That day when he walked into the exam room the first time and said, "Why are you here?"
And I said, "Since you are my new doctor, I wanted to meet you."
And he said, "So do you want a Colonostomy?"
And I said, "Do I look like I want a Colonostomy?"
And he said, "So then, why are you here?"
And I said, "Because if I have a major coronary and wind up in the emergency room I would at least want to know that you recognized me as one of your patients. I do not take pills for my Cholesterol, and I will let you know if I have any needs. Blood test once a year so you can tell me it is high and adjust my thyroid. That is about it."
But now he is making Doctor noises and since I do love the man dearly and have gotten used to living on this planet I guess I will keep an eye on the old blood pressure and seems like the x-ray came back and there is not a needle in the old foot after all. It is a spur and if it continues to bother me, "we" will do something about it which will entail a knife and a needle which strikes fear in my heart. So the wiccan brought me some stuff to try and I will kind of try to stay off the silly thing a little more. Oh, and I'm going to mix me up a concoction of cider vinegar, honey and garlic. Garlic cures everything, including spurs and blood pressure! Oh, yeah, vampires, too!
And being single and uninvolved, I can pack away the garlic! Yes! Life is good even if I am falling to pieces a bit at a time.
See I was setting a new stock tank for the geese. That entailed digging. I thought I had probably bruised my foot. So I kind of took it easy for a few days. Then it was October and I began to think maybe I had sort of did the hairline fracture thing so I started doubling up on the Calcium. By then we were just past Thanksgiving, and then there was Christmas to contend with and then New Years. So this was actually the first chance I had to see Doctor. That and the fact that I seemed to recall a woman who had stepped on a needle and years later it showed up on an x-ray. This sure felt like a needle.
So I called and of course, Deb got me right in.
Doctor was very surprised to see me and after exchanging pleasantry's he checked my chart. Now bear in mind that my blood pressure is always right there on the normal number and never fluctuates. Well, except today when it found it necessary to jump up 12 points. So here I sat with a needle in my foot ready to break loose and head for my heart and the elevated blood pressure. I tried to explain to him that when she took my blood pressure, we were talking. This really tickled him.
"So when you talk your blood pressure jumps up?"
"Well, no, but I am under a lot of stress."
"Stress from what?"
"Well, that needle in my foot that is probably moving steadily to my heart while we are talking for one thing!"
"X-ray will pick up a needle like that!" Course he snapped his fingers, because that is what they do. "Now what else?"
So I explained about how busy I have been selling on ebay.
"Oh, dear, making money stresses you?"
I told him about the big ice glacier in my front yard.
"Oh, dear, ice stresses you?"
I told him about all the things I do in my "spare time".
"Oh, you would rather vegetate?"
To make a long story short, the man knows me very well and he puts up with no crap and excuses. I love him and have since the first day I met him. That day when he walked into the exam room the first time and said, "Why are you here?"
And I said, "Since you are my new doctor, I wanted to meet you."
And he said, "So do you want a Colonostomy?"
And I said, "Do I look like I want a Colonostomy?"
And he said, "So then, why are you here?"
And I said, "Because if I have a major coronary and wind up in the emergency room I would at least want to know that you recognized me as one of your patients. I do not take pills for my Cholesterol, and I will let you know if I have any needs. Blood test once a year so you can tell me it is high and adjust my thyroid. That is about it."
But now he is making Doctor noises and since I do love the man dearly and have gotten used to living on this planet I guess I will keep an eye on the old blood pressure and seems like the x-ray came back and there is not a needle in the old foot after all. It is a spur and if it continues to bother me, "we" will do something about it which will entail a knife and a needle which strikes fear in my heart. So the wiccan brought me some stuff to try and I will kind of try to stay off the silly thing a little more. Oh, and I'm going to mix me up a concoction of cider vinegar, honey and garlic. Garlic cures everything, including spurs and blood pressure! Oh, yeah, vampires, too!
And being single and uninvolved, I can pack away the garlic! Yes! Life is good even if I am falling to pieces a bit at a time.
