My momma, the wisest woman in the world told me that years ago. I sometimes wonder if my kids will ever look back and remember anything I said. I sure hope they do.
Growing up in a house that was home to six kids we all had our place in the hierarchy. When my father married my mother, he had 3 sons from his first wife who had died. They had been placed in an orphanage because he could not care for them. The younger two were adopted into homes but kept in touch over the years. The oldest left the orphanage at age 18 and mostly wandered the world.
Of my family growing up, Josephine was oldest because she was the first born to my mother. She had a different father than my dad. Her father was supposedly a gangster in Chicago. Who knows! Then came Jake, who was the only son, simply because he was the only son. Then came me, a bright and shining star on the roster of children! Not really. That put me in the middle child position which is not a place anyone wants to be. But there I was, nonetheless. Then the others who mostly tended to favor my father in coloring and mannerisms. Donna and Mary were next followed by Dorothy who was the youngest. Her sole claim to fame is that she was the last one born to my mother.
Mary was always my dad's favorite. There was never a question about it: It just was. When Mary went to Junior High School and they had a dance, my dad went to town and bought her a beautiful white prom dress. It was so soft. Mary met and married her future husband when she was 13 or 14 years old. He was 15 or 16 at the time. I think. I am a little foggy on the ages, but they were both very young. I do know I borrowed her prom dress when I married Earl Duane Seeger in 1960.
I look back down the road that I have traveled, and it makes me very sad. My mother tried to give us kids everything we wanted and needed when she herself had been through trauma that I would never know about. There are only two of us left, me and Donna. I wonder if Donna ever thinks about our childhood. I wonder if she remembers it the same way that I do? I do know she squeezed a baby rabbit so hard once that it bled out its mouth and she put it in a drawer and covered it up with a washcloth, but it died anyway!
For the record, Lavender is still my favorite color, and my mother is still the angel that I remember. The only difference is that instead of living on Strong Street in Nickerson, or on Avenue A in Hutchinson, she is walking on the streets of gold. She is not in any pain, and she gets to look down on me and see that she raised a very strong woman after it is all said and done. She is waiting for me to take that leap from here to where she waits for me. I just hope she knows how happy I am that I was raised at her knee.
We all different mannerisms as is common in big families. Josephine was the oldest, so she was bossy. Jake was the only boy, so he was expected to do boy things, like chop wood, take the old tomcat that ate the baby chicken to the forest and chop off its head with the same axe, and mostly just do boy things. He did let me tag along sometimes. Of course, we all had to cater to Mary and Dorothy, because Dorothy was the baby, and Mary was the pretty one. Mary was also Dad's favorite. I do not think he liked me at all, but that taught me how to raise my own kids later in life.
I bent over backwards to make sure that I did not favor one over the other. If I spent $20 on one for Christmas, I spent $20 on each of the others. Later my son pointed out to me that this was wrong. I should have bought each one a gift especially chosen for them regardless of price. He also pointed out that he was the only boy and should therefore be granted special status! Little turd!
But this blog is actually about my high school prom. Mom had somehow managed to get her hands on enough shiny polyester fabric in a beautiful lavender color. She then scraped together enough to buy several yards of lavender net to pair with it. She sewed me a beautiful prom dress all my hand with a pattern in her head! It was beautiful!
It is at this point that the adage, "You cannot make a silk purse out of a cow's ear." comes to mind. The softest net is very soft and lays differently than the cheap net that momma could afford. When the skirt was stitched together with the bodice, it left the stiff net to completely encompass my waist. What started out to be a fairy tale night, ended up being a torture. By the time I got home to take the dress off I had a very raw waistline that was actually bleeding. It was packed away in a box under the bed and I do not know what ever happened to it.
Lavendar is still my favorite color. Always will be. Lavender is still my favorite scent, and the beautiful fields of Lavender in Grand Junction is my favorite place in the spring.
Momma told me long ago that my childhood would be what defined me in my later years. She sure hit that nail on the head! My experiences of those long-ago years guide me in everything I do in my old age. When I think of momma it is always the house on Strong Street and the old wood stove and the ducks and chickens out back. It is the Peach Tree by the chicken house and the treadle sewing machine and the Catalpa tree by the road.
Wonder it that is what heaven is like? I sure hope so!
Peace!
