Course I might have tried to get even with my little Ryan subconsiously !

Well, if you read the last post you will know Ryan tried to kill me albeit quite by accident and he did not succeed.  What the little fellow does not know, and Grandma does, is that I almost did him in and it was with absolutely no malice of forethought.

It was a year or so later that I decided I was sick to death of the cast iron bathtub that was in my powder room.  You know the one that would have lasted forever and was gleaming white with very little effort?  Yeah, that one that was installed and then the room built around it.  So off I went with Kenny in tow to the city to find the perfect set up.  And there it was at that place on the hill.  Forgot the name.  Nice white plastic tub and the nice white plastic surround.  Little pricey, but what the hey!

Enter son-in-law that I did not particular like, but he worked cheap.  Rip out the wall, rip out the tub and haul it out back.  I will not go into the particulars of how many days it took to get that bathroom back in working order or how frustrated we got before we decided that son-in-law had to go.  Nor will I go into the time frame of how long it took Bret to get a chair in the tub and poke a hole in the side of the new plastic POS.  This story is about Ryan!

It took 4 men and a horse to drag that cast iron tub out back.  And there it set.  Trash man did not want it.  Scrap man did not want it.  So it set there.  Looking back I can now think of many things I could have used it for.  Could have been a strawberry bed.  I could have become Catholic and it could have been a great grotto or what ever those things are.  But it set there.  Enter frustrated grandson with a sledge hammer and it became something to relieve said frustration.  Now cast iron can be broken if it is hit just right.  First it was in two pieces and then three and you know the routine.

At that time I also had a chicken pen I wanted ripped out so I could make that area a garden.   I was trying to pull one of the t-posts out of the ground and having no luck at all.  Enter Ryan.  He thought he was way bigger than he was.  I might interject here that the easiest way to remove a t-post is with a jack and a chain, but that was in the garage and there was Ryan.  So the little fellow braced his feet, grabbed the post and jerked.  He did that several times and nothing happened.  Then he decided it was do or die and made one final attempt.  At the point when I thought he was going to pop a blood vessel, it came loose.  As the law of momentum is want to do, Ryan fell backwards and landed flat on his back with the t-post still firmly in his grasp.

And protruding into the air, barely one inch from his left shoulder blade was a foot long piece of cast iron the shape of a stiletto!  My life flashed before my eyes as he lay there with the biggest grin on his face!  He was so proud that he had removed that post by brute force.  All I could think of was what the scene would have been had he been turned just slightly, or the post had been over 8 inches, or this, or that.

When I said my prayers that night and for many nights thereafter, I thanked my omnipotent God for knowing way more than me and for thinking ahead more than this old woman, and for keeping his arm around Ryan and keeping him safe.  Do you remember this, my little Ryan?  That is one I am not going to forget in this lifetime.

So now go vote in the poll up there on the left.  It is no wonder you never come over and want to help old Granny anymore!

Time to dig out the bike and dust it off for Spring!

Well, Spring is going to be here pretty quick and I want to be ready!  Here is the bike and it is going to get ridden just pretty soon.  I keep thinking I am going to get a new bike and I almost did.  I found a really pretty Lavender one at Target for only $104.00, but you know how it goes.  This bike has lots of memories and if it could talk it might get me in a bit of trouble!  Look at that seat!  Isn't that pretty?

This bike came off the neighbors junk pile and it used to be blue and rust.  I mean real rust, not the color.  So, Tim pulled it off the pile and brought it over to my garage.  Then began the transformation.  He took it all apart and made sure everything was there.  Tires were all right, but the tubes were shot.  New tubes, oil the chain, sand the frame and then came the best part, he and Chris painted it Lavender!  I had Goop! for the tubes.   So off to the store to buy the new seat.  That is called a tractor seat, in case you wonder.  The handle bars are some sort of ram's horn.  Total cost to get her road worthy was $26.99. 

You do realize this is a balloon tire bike and has no gears and to stop I pedal backwards.  I never could figure out the gears on those other things and the concept of squeezing the handle bar to stop was totally foreign to this girl!  I have another balloon tire hanging up in the garage that is a complete hoot to ride.  It is a boys bike and bigger than this one, but I did ride it some several years back. OMG!  Ryan, the grandson was probably 10 years old then which would have made it more like 15 years ago.  He damn near got me killed on that thing.  I know he is reading this, so I am going to let you be the judge here.

This thing had Ape Hanger Handle bars which are wonderful to hang onto and ride.  However, it also had knobby tires for God only knows what reason.  Course Ryan had his little bike he jumps with which I forget what they are called. But off we went over to the highway where there was a Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Going to eat a  little lunch and ride back, cause that is what grandma's and grand kids do...eat.  We stayed on the sidewalk where there was sidewalk.  A small section of the sidewalk was gone, so I, being the cautious one, dismounted and walked it around the 7 inch drop.  Of course, during lunch I was chided for this.

"Grandma!  It is a tiny drop and you can do it.  Just get your speed up and pull back on the handle bars and you will be fine.  You can do it, I know you can."  Ah, sometimes old ladies hear a different drummer and it all seems to make a lot of sense.  He was a kid and he could do it; sure I could do it!  I would make him proud!

Did you ever read Casey at the Bat?  That flashed through my mind as I pulled back on the handle bars.  As that knobby tire caught on the edge, I heard the swish of the bat, and as I landed on Highway 50 East with the Ape Hanger Handle Bar implanted firmly in my ribs, I realized, "There is no joy in Mudville, mighty Casey has struck out!" 

Now, Ryan, I know you remember this a little different, but I am proud to say, you will always remember this Grandma with a laugh.  Right?  I will remember you as the grandson who tried to kill me.  But even as I write this, I can see your little face bending over me.  I can see your eyes and I had no idea you could open them that far!  But what I will always remember is what you told your mother, between your gales of laughter!  "Oh, mom, you should have seen it!  Grandma was like in slow motion.......over, over, over....SPLAT!" 

Now, I know you ride a little bit different bike, one called a HOG and I mostly try to stay on the edge of the road and try not to get hit by a car, but surely we still have something in common.  Hey, come pick me up and we will go cruising!  Or maybe I will just make you some cookies since that is what grandma's are supposed to do!

Now be sure you vote in the poll up there on the left.  Got a bet going on this one!

Take me home, country roads!

Oh, I thought  I had already done this blog!  When I had taken Sister Mary to meet her kids, we met at the Garden City Truck Plaza.  As luck would have it there was a display of old restored Triumph motorcycles.  Oh, I was so happy that I had the trusty camera!
 
Oh, there is just something about a Triumph, or an Indian that just brings back old memories.  Harley Davidson has that wonderful rumble that they have tried to patent, but Triumph's always bring back my gully jumping days.  Do not think I did this a lot and at no time was I ever the driver when the bike left the ground, but I did have a husband at one time who thought that he was Evil Knievel.  Remember him?  I mean Evil Knievel, not my husband.    The man was actually very good at the art of jumping and landing on the other side still upright.  I was damn good at hanging on, too!

At that point in my life I rode a Honda, as I recall.  I loved that bike.  I was waiting tables at the Red Rooster Restaurant in Hutchinson, Kansas along with my mother.  My good friend Gibby was the cook.....but that brings up a whole 'nother subject.  I rode my bike every day that it was not raining or the wind blowing at 40 knots.  We did not have to wear helmets at that time, and I tell you there is just something about the wind in my hair  and the road blurred beneath  the bike that makes this girl want to strap a guitar on her back and hit the open road and not look back! But, alas, I was a mother and mother's do not do that.  They go to work and come home.  Take the kiddies for short bike rides and instill in them the thrill of the open road. 

But what does all this have to do with a Triumph and gully jumping?  Who knows.  I did have a wonderful outing in Colorado Springs not long ago with a fellow who took me to a meeting of the British Motorcycle Group up there.  I met a really nice bunch of guys.  Upon finding myself the only female in the group, I had a brief moment of panic.  But then I seen the difference between the group and the gang mentality.  These guys were perfect gentlemen!  There was not even the slightest hint that I would need to rear back on the "bitch seat" and pull my tee shirt up for the whole world to see.  These were just a bunch of guys who really enjoyed talking about their prize possessions which just happened to be motorcycles.  One guy rides a Kawasaki!  I think one might have a Harley.  Guy I was with has a whole garage full of them, but the one I am looking forward to a day trip on is the BMW.  I am not sure he remembers he has it, but I think I can remind him!

I will make that my mission for this summer.  That will be just great to pack a little lunch, crawl on the back of that big machine and head up the mountain for the day.  I will get to sight see while he has to watch the road.  Oh, high altitude, pace maker, high blood pressure....maybe not.  Well, it was a thought!

Sister Patty and her little brood, or some of them.

Here is sister Patty and if you look at the last picture down at the bottom, you will find her husband Bill.  I had him up here, but he jumped back down there.  Guess he wants to be the last in line. 

Now Patty is my second child.  Debbie was the first.  Patty lives in Western Kansas in a very small town.  Well, not in town, per se, but out in the country on the other side of the river.  She is retired from the library in that little town.  Bill works some where driving a truck.  He is usually home at night and if not Patty is where he is located.

 

This is Patty and her brother, Sam.  This was taken last week while Sam was here on his way back to Dallas, Texas.  We had a nice little family reunion.  The only one not here was Debbie, and that is just too far to drive to sleep on the floor!

Patty's hobbies are all art related.  She did all the art work for the Library when she was there.  Even designed their tee shirts.  She also is very accomplished in cross stitch.  I have several charcoal drawings and they are of professional quality.  She sure did not inherit that from my genes!

This is her oldest grandson, Javan.  He is a pistol and smart as a whip.  He was born out here in Colorado, so he is a transplant back to Kansas.  Seems to have taken root rather well!

And this is the little Kaison.  He is such a serious little fellow.  But he does love his granny Patty and his Grandma Lou.  Not to say that Javan does not, just that Kaison is a lot more demonstrative.  Kaison usually shuts his eyes at the exact moment the flash goes off, but I got lucky this time.  Might be because he loves his Uncle Sammy!

Here is the mother of the children and Patty's oldest daughter, September.  She and her kids and beloved live in Western Kansas, near Patty.  She has just completed her Master's Degree and is thinking about going for something else.  Doctorate?  I do not know.  I was lucky to make it though the college I took.  She is smart and gets on the Dean's list, and I know she got that from me!  Woohoo!  See that bear?  I made that for my dear husband who was a trucker.

And here is Patty's youngest daughter.  This one is my little Indian, Savannah. She and her chosen one live farther away so we do not see her that often.  They have one daughter to whom Vanny is a step mother.  If I ever had a step mother I would want her to be like Vanny as opposed to that witch Cinderella got...

Ok, now I am down here where Bill is supposed to be and that rascal has ran off again.  Ok, I got him again!  I better get this published before he gets away again!  He is not in the habit of taking off, just that he does not like to be seen online and in print.  A very hard working man and one of my favorite son-in-laws.  That is saying a lot since I only have 2. 

That is it for today.  Next time you meet a family member it will be my middle daughter.  Well, middle child and she is not that anymore.  I adopted one later so she lost her place in line. 

But there you have it from Western Kansas, near Garden City, and the one place I lived that was hotter than hell.  Well, maybe not, but 110-115 degrees was nothing unusual.  I had 3 kids while I was there.  Fond memories.

Even I have a win some times!

What you see here is the culmination of my thinking process over the last few months.  Of course I first had to have a seed planted.  The whole process began probably 7 or 8 years ago when some one suggested I might try making soap.  So I kicked that one around for a while.  I  remembered when mama used to drip water through wood ashes and get lye which she mixed with old grease and that was laundry soap.  So I studied up on that.  At the time I could buy lye about anywhere so I made my first batch of soap.  First I had to find beef tallow which I had to render.  The first batch was made with beef tallow, lard and olive oil.  And of course lye and water.  Amazed my self!  It was white and pretty.  My skin actually was not dry any more.

So on to different kinds of soap.  And then lotion.  Getting softer all the time.  Then Body Butter.  Fragrances.  Lip Balm.  And then a hippie friend explained about years ago and the lip balm that was made with hemp butter.  I researched the hemp factor and found that Cannabis Sativa  is loaded with Omega 6 and Omega 3  essential fatty acids.  It is one of the richest sources of complete protein.  It is also effective in the treatment of eczema.  That was all I needed to know.  First came the Lip Bong.  Then I began work on the Face/Body Butter and yesterday I reached perfection with the formula.

Ah, this is like nothing you have ever felt.  It is like silk on your skin and there is no oily residue. I am still searching for a name.  Since it makes my face as soft as a baby's bottom, a friend in New York suggested I call it "Arse Lookin' At Ya!"  I am giving thought to that.  For now it is just Hemp Seed Body/Face Butter.  You can find it located in my eBay store or just email me.  I am pretty sure I have a winner here!

http://stores.ebay.com/Lou-Mercers-Grab-Bag

The son is here and the doggies are tired!

Well, the son arrived here from California yesterday afternoon.  Well, actually a little before noon.  He had left there at 1:00 PM the previous day to make the 22 hour drive.  By arriving here 23 hours later, I  am thinking he did not spend the night in a motel anywhere.

So let me introduce the dogs who are his family and accompanied him on his journey.  This is Oliver.  Ollie is a West Highland Terrier.  Kind of an oaf of a dog, and is constantly surprised by life in general.  He is learning many things.  One of which is that I have a cat and he does not know what a cat is.  He thinks it might be something to play with, but he is not real sure of that .  He also got introduced to the flock of geese and ducks.  This rather overwhelmed the poor fellow as he had only encountered wild life in a one on one setting.  After much trembling, Sam allowed him back in the sanctuary of the yard.

 This would be the poor little Emma, the very old poodle.  She is exhausted to the point of being unable to move at all.  Her only actual sign of her age is that her hearing is completely gone.  She is the most precious little dog and she loves to be held.  Sam left her with me while he took Oliver to the doggie wash.  Doggie wash is like a car wash only you wash a dog instead of a car!  Never heard of such a thing.   I sat in the recliner and she had a nice nap in my lap.  Surprisingly enough, Daisy and Elvira did not grab her leg and jerk her off my lap.

 And here they are making themselves at home on the couch.  Sam wanted me to know that Emma likes to fluff things up so I might want to keep an eye on her and my leather couch.  Yesterday she was way to tired to care about the fluffing thing.

Ok, there is a short introduction to the doggies. Tomorrow or later tonight we will delve into the actual son part.  Oh, and the girls are coming so there will  be lots going on.

Happy Valentines Day to you!

Let me see.  The last time I received any thing for Valentines Day was in 2003.  I got a set of pots and pans and they were exactly the kind and color I wanted.  Seems my husband had just passed away and left his wallet behind with just the right amount of money to pay for that purchase.  He always was considerate to a fault.

Then Marge gave me a thing that hangs from the ceiling and holds the pots and pans on hooks.  That is really nice.  So after all these years they are still in pretty good shape.  Well, occasionally an interloper will pass through my kitchen in search of food and use one to cook something.  No problem as long as they follow the rules which are simple.  No flash frying!  No smoke arising from any vessel.  Spray the inside lightly to prevent sticking.  But, alas, I can not guard the kitchen 24/7 and a few gouges have appeared and I may need to replace something.  These are Wearever Taste of Home collection.  I shall miss them when the time comes, but it is not going to be this year.

What do I have planned for tonight?  Ah, it is the Jeopardy! Challenge where Watson, the high powered computer built just for this, will go against Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter.  Being a die hard beleiver in human beings as opposed to machines, I am trusting that Watson will blow a fuse.  I have cleared my calendar for the next three days and will be plastered to the screen.  So do not call.  Do not drop by.  Do not email.  I wanted to take the kiddies to a movie tonight, but that will have to wait until after.  Oh, but then it will be cold and dark and I do not do that well at all. 

Ok.  This is my thoughts for the day.  I have something in mind for the PFLAG post so you might want to pop over there for a look.  http://www.pueblopflag.blogspot.com/