It is always darkest before the dawn, or Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition!

Ever been really sad?  Ever felt like some one had just jerked the rug out from under you and kicked you in the gut?  Not a very good feeling and it usually takes  a couple days to get back on your feet and remember the lessons your momma taught you.  But first you have those few days to get through. 

When faced with one of these situations, the first instinct is to flee.  But when you see the storm clouds gathering and you know it is about to dump on you there is one place to go and that is to bed.  Always safe there.  Sure it is safe, but it is very lonely. It is very lonely and the night is very long. It is the fear of the unknown that brings on this phenomena known as "What is going to happen?"  How many different scenarios are there? What if...what if...what if?  And then it is morning.

Morning and we now have to get up and face the day and the "what if" of last night.  But the best part is that today you find out just what it is that you will be facing.  If it is a medical issue, you get an answer and then make plans to deal with the ramifications.  Water bill not paid?  Take care of it during business hours.  A test at school? Should have studied, but now you will know just how much you did remember.  Death of some one or relationship ending (which I equate as being one and the same and should be handled in the same way)?  So we venture off and make our "final arrangements" either at the funeral home or the coffee shop.  During the former we set a final time to bury our beloved and during the latter we just grab the shovel and throw a little more dirt at each other, establish that the blame is definitely not ours and walk away.

In any case, the second night is easier to deal with because we have done something constructive.  We know that tomorrow we will see the fruits of our labor coming to fruition. Going to start our chemo tomorrow.  Water is on so you can wash that pile of dishes.  Failed cooking class so now maybe you can choose a new career, like you could be a lawyer!  Put one body in the ground and kick the other to the curb! 

And so the third night comes and you are exhausted.  Dishes are done, new career on the horizon, and you got a lot of time now to do the things you have been putting off!

I been writing in second person, but I shall now change to first person because this is a true story.  Stay with me here and learn from the master!

 It is his loss, cause he lost the best thing that ever was in hislife and I know it!  He will no doubt realize it in time and that is when I can set back and reap the fruits of my labor!  The Good Lord does know what he is doing at all times, just takes me a little time to figure it out.  But Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition, there is a new day dawning and I am going to grab that sucker with both hands, look back on my latest learning experience in life's little journey and be a better woman for having lived through that one!  I am a very unique individual and I have a lot to offer this world.  I am better than just another pretty face I am the essence of woman and I will survive!  I learned all this from someone I shall lovingly call "Jade"!