89 year old man gets his first erection in years!

Really!  Really?  I got this email today or yesterday and it absolutely amazed me.  My name is Lou therefore I must be a man.  And I must not be able to get it up.  Now this is not the first one of these ED letters I have gotten.  And quite frequently I am contacted by a sweet young thing who would love to share her "unique" pictures with me.  Hmmm.  What is the world coming to?

Many years back I signed up for one of those dating sights.  I would like to meet an older man for companionship, walks along the river, dining out, and maybe a movie.  I love county music and dancing would be a plus.  Must be a Christian.

That unleashed a torrent of men who wanted me to know that their "plumbing" still worked and that their stomach was flat.  We could meet for a drink at some hotel that had a bar.  The Library was out.
A walk was fine as long as it entailed walking to the car.  Country was alright as long as it included a dark road and no music. Dining out was fine, but home cooked was a lot better.  And church was definitely not on the table at all.

Maybe I am just too old and jaded for this life as it exists now.  I still want conversations.  I want walks.  I like people and I do not want to be looked up and down like a piece of prize meat at the butcher shop.  I want to know who you are, not what you are.  Are you honest and trustworthy or are you looking for a slam, bam, thank you mam?  Will you call me for no reason?  Will you surprise me with a doughnut and a cup of coffee?  A trip to Starbucks on a Tuesday afternoon and then check out the movies.  Will you unload my goose food and put it in the barrel?  And will you show up at church just because you want to see what it is like even though you are a Catholic?  That is what I am looking for.  Oh yeah. and if and when it snows I need the walk shoveled and a trail broken out to the goose pen.  But I gotta tell you, I am not holding out much hope for such a man to exist in this world I live in.  So I am not going to the dating sites, no, not me!

Living alone definitely has it's advantages.  Like right now, I am eating a breakfast burrito with green chile.  Breakfast for supper.  No salad for the digestive tract.  No iced tea.  No have to set at the table because that is the eating place.  No dessert because I want to eat up the rest of the Pina Colada ice cream I made a year ago.  I have moved by clocks back an hour and instead of going to bed at 9:30 I am going to bed at 8:30.  Which will be 9:30, or at least I think that is right.  Who knows.  I hate the damned time change almost as much as I hate cooked apples.

I wish I was a goose.  The geese go to bed at dark and get up at dawn.  They have no idea of what time it is.  All they have to worry about is eating their food before the other goose eats it up from them.  I have never been able to check the sleeping arrangement in the goose house so I am not sure who sleeps beside who.  Oh, and there is another joy for remaining alone... I can sleep on either side of the bed.  I always sleep on the side closest to the door, but I could sleep on the other side if I so choose.  Hell, I could even sleep with my head at the bottom of the bed, or I could sleep downstairs.  Or on the couch.  The possibilities are endless!

My house phone is not working and a quick check with repair service tells me it is not going to work for a couple days.  Damn!  I wonder if they will understand when I deduct 2 days off the bill.    Ok, I am having dessert.  It is Carmel popcorn.  The house is very quiet.  The cat has snuck onto my lap making typing rather awkward, but at least she is quiet.  See if I could find a man this good, I would be all over that, but it ain't happening so I think I will go to bed now.  So if my clock says 6:30 now, a few minutes ago it was 7:30 and my body is thinking it is 8:30 or maybe  9:30.  I know one thing and that is about the only thing a man could do for me at this point in my life is tell me what time it is and why in the hell do we have to change it every time I figure out what time it is!

It is always darkest before the dawn, or Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition!

Ever been really sad?  Ever felt like some one had just jerked the rug out from under you and kicked you in the gut?  Not a very good feeling and it usually takes  a couple days to get back on your feet and remember the lessons your momma taught you.  But first you have those few days to get through. 

When faced with one of these situations, the first instinct is to flee.  But when you see the storm clouds gathering and you know it is about to dump on you there is one place to go and that is to bed.  Always safe there.  Sure it is safe, but it is very lonely. It is very lonely and the night is very long. It is the fear of the unknown that brings on this phenomena known as "What is going to happen?"  How many different scenarios are there? What if...what if...what if?  And then it is morning.

Morning and we now have to get up and face the day and the "what if" of last night.  But the best part is that today you find out just what it is that you will be facing.  If it is a medical issue, you get an answer and then make plans to deal with the ramifications.  Water bill not paid?  Take care of it during business hours.  A test at school? Should have studied, but now you will know just how much you did remember.  Death of some one or relationship ending (which I equate as being one and the same and should be handled in the same way)?  So we venture off and make our "final arrangements" either at the funeral home or the coffee shop.  During the former we set a final time to bury our beloved and during the latter we just grab the shovel and throw a little more dirt at each other, establish that the blame is definitely not ours and walk away.

In any case, the second night is easier to deal with because we have done something constructive.  We know that tomorrow we will see the fruits of our labor coming to fruition. Going to start our chemo tomorrow.  Water is on so you can wash that pile of dishes.  Failed cooking class so now maybe you can choose a new career, like you could be a lawyer!  Put one body in the ground and kick the other to the curb! 

And so the third night comes and you are exhausted.  Dishes are done, new career on the horizon, and you got a lot of time now to do the things you have been putting off!

I been writing in second person, but I shall now change to first person because this is a true story.  Stay with me here and learn from the master!

 It is his loss, cause he lost the best thing that ever was in hislife and I know it!  He will no doubt realize it in time and that is when I can set back and reap the fruits of my labor!  The Good Lord does know what he is doing at all times, just takes me a little time to figure it out.  But Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition, there is a new day dawning and I am going to grab that sucker with both hands, look back on my latest learning experience in life's little journey and be a better woman for having lived through that one!  I am a very unique individual and I have a lot to offer this world.  I am better than just another pretty face I am the essence of woman and I will survive!  I learned all this from someone I shall lovingly call "Jade"!