Didjaeverthink?

I have secrets that I will take to the grave.  We all do, I know.  May not be earth shattering to anyone if they knew them, but to me they are sacred.  Well there is only one, really.  No, there are two of them.  One is something that was never a real secret, but I knew.  Wait, make that three.  There was that first one, and then that second one.  At the time people knew, but they forgot.  Those two were never real secrets, but that third one is so secret that only me and God knows it, because the other person who knew has been dead a while and I think that person forgot even before they died. 

Oh, boy did I ever have one of those didjaeverthink days today!  I had what I thought was a friend and I came that close to telling my secrets.  Imagine how I would feel now, knowing just how close we actually weren't, had I told my secrets.  A very wise man once told me, "You know of people.  You do not know a person. Only that person can know himself."  He was right.  I have a face I present to people when I first meet them, but I am not good at keeping that face on and next thing you know, I have a new best friend and I will tell that best friend only the truth about myself.  Well, needless to say, not everyone is honest nor do they want honesty.  So, poof, there went my new best friend.

Needless to say I have a bit of a problem trusting people, so when I do put my trust in one of the friends I make, and they disappoint me, I am crushed.  I am learning lots of little lessons here on this big world of the Internet.  I am learning that as well meaning as people are, and as sincere as they appear to be, it is not the same as setting down at Starbucks and having a conversation face to face.  Eye contact means a lot to me.  I have made friends (?) with several people on the Internet and had gut wrenching conversations with at least one of them, laughed hysterically with another, been advised in business by one, know an other's grand kids by name and thought about a quasi affair with another.  So, why am I sad when one of these faceless figures disappears on me?  Hell, I don't know!

But in my favor, I must say, I still have my secrets.  The key to whether I trust you will be whether I share my secrets.  So far there is no temptation any where.  Like I said I almost told that one guy, but lips are sealed and it turned out well that I kept mum.  I set down to write this blog and things come out of me that amaze me.  You people probably know me better then the people I deal with on a regular basis!  You are my Internet friends.  Some of you are actually family and friends that I know.  Some of you are faraway friends that I have met.  Some of you I will meet at a later date, but the one thing you all have in common is you see the honest, forthright side of Lou.  When I meet a stranger the first thing they say is "I feel I have known you all my life."  I, myself, have never met a stranger! 

The people I meet on the Internet are faceless friends.  Sometimes I have a picture I can put with a face, but there you go.  Is that face the face that actually goes with that name?  One of my friends is apparently a bull dog!  One will not tell if they are male or female.  I have a closeup of Amy's mouth.  I met Jacci in Blackwell, Oklahoma and Ely at the bottom of Missouri.  My son has raised his voice at me more than once over what he refers to as my insane behaviour, but he does not understand.  I do not just run around and meet people wily nily.  I first have a connection with them.  Then I feel their vibes.  And I always say my prayers.

OK, I am willing to bet I have strayed from the topic again.  I know one thing, I am getting hungry so it must be supper time.  I am going to run my spell check (I love that feature),  read this over and see if it makes any sense at all, and if it does I will hit the publish button!

Hey, I understand this and that is scary in and of itself!!