I been doing it wrong all this time!

I was tooling down South Road the other day and I came across 4 people on bicycles.  I was luckily in my  little car so I did not embarrass myself.  This is when I discovered just what it is I am doing wrong.

When I ride I just hop on this old balloon tire bike with no gears and away I go.  I wear what ever I happen to have on at the time.  Usually wear tennis shoes, but only cause that is what I wear.

I need to get me one of those skinny tired bikes with a bunch of gears up there and the brakes on the handlebars.  On mine I just pedal backwards and I stop right now!  Not later on down the road, right where I pushed backwards is where I will be when you find me cause the sudden stop sometimes unseats me.

And I need to get me some stretchy clothes.  Little shorts that come about mid thigh or whatever that bone is there between my knee and my bottom.  And a stretchy top.  Oh, yeah and some little gloves and a helmet and some sort of goggles.  Some sturdy shoes that are small.  Now I was going pretty good clip when I shot past  those people, but I think I got it in my mind's eye.  So I am going to go look at bikes this weekend.  It has got to be purple though.

And while I am there looking I shall check out the stretchy clothes.  I have always wished I had stretchy clothes.  Sure would solve that diet business I keep thinking about.

Now the biggest problem I have is finding friends.  Got plenty of them that want to hang out, go to lunch, stop by for coffee, but very few that I can talk into actually riding a bike or even going for a long walk.  They will come for supper, but leave before the dishes are done.  And if I did have a friend that would ride with me, the talking would have to wait.  I like to just kind of pedal along and look at the sky and the flowers and hope a dog don't chase me.  I do not have stamina enough to ride and talk both.  I usually have my headphones on and will probably get run over some day.  In that case a friend would be handy to call 911 assuming I am dead.

So there you have it.  And my solution is this.  I think I am going to get a new tire and tube for this bike.  Squirt a little more WD40 on the pedal thing and there where the tires turn.  Save my friends for later.  Shorts and tees I have now will get me by another year.  And these green, pink, and grey shoes are just getting broken in good.

Well, I tried to come into this century, I am just too tight!