Let me see. To bed at 9:00. Awake at 2:00 AM to pee. Back to bed to contemplate the fate of the world. Doze off. Up again at 4:00 to guess what? Back to bed to contemplate actually getting up and getting an early start on the day. Oh, hell yes. Like I am so busy I need to get up that early. Sadly one of these mornings I will not even get up and who is going to know? Oh, yeah, the dogs and that damn cat who have to eat several meals a day all home cooked and chuck full of fresh vegetables. So at 5:00 I give it up as a lost cause and give the animals their treats.
Not that my animals are spoiled, but they need a treat for going to bed and a treat for getting up. They also require treats throughout the day for simply going out to the bathroom, coming in after going out to the bathroom, for helping me let the geese either out or in, for staying home while I go to the store, or barking at the UPS man, or the trash man, or the airplane going over. But this post is not about my spoiled rotten animals. It is about my golden years and what a friggin' joke they are.
Gone are the days when I could actually cut my own toenails. Gone are the days when my yard was always mowed and the roses were blooming and the weeds were under control. Gone are the days when the car was clean and my floor was swept and the sink clear of dishes. Gone are the days when I really gave a shit about anything. My bones are stiff, my joints creek and I can not hear what you are mumbling about over there.
I have had some pretty sad days in my life, but the saddest one of all was about 2 weeks after my husband had passed and I was standing and looking at his picture on the wall and it dawned on me that I would never again be held by a man who loved me completely. I would never be able to just turn off the stove and go out to eat because he just wanted to take me.
No more fishing trips.
No more running up to Cripple Creek.
No more peanut shells on the floor.
No more heated debates over politics.
No more watching me mow the grass.
No more walking up behind me and putting his arms around me and laying his head on my back.
No more anything.
I did start dating, but the first guy died. The second one told me, "I always felt like I was standing in Kenny's shadow." As it turned out, he probably was. Mother always told me that divorces were easy, because there was usually hard feelings on both parts. But when the partner dies, they take on sainthood. You forget the little things that irritated you and the partner is remembered as perfect.
Mother was so wise.
I miss sharing happy times. I miss sharing sad times. I miss sharing little victories I win. I miss showing him what I did down in the sewing room and I miss cooking for him. And I miss setting in the front yard with the animals and watching the world go by. I miss him.
Well, I need to go down one level and pick up the mouse body. Thanks, Icarus. I really have nothing planned for today, but I know I have to get started on my day. Put my memories away and mark another day off the calendar.
All I can say, is have a nice day and enjoy what you have while it is there to be enjoyed. Matter while you can, because time is fleeting. Time and tide wait for no man.
Not that my animals are spoiled, but they need a treat for going to bed and a treat for getting up. They also require treats throughout the day for simply going out to the bathroom, coming in after going out to the bathroom, for helping me let the geese either out or in, for staying home while I go to the store, or barking at the UPS man, or the trash man, or the airplane going over. But this post is not about my spoiled rotten animals. It is about my golden years and what a friggin' joke they are.
Gone are the days when I could actually cut my own toenails. Gone are the days when my yard was always mowed and the roses were blooming and the weeds were under control. Gone are the days when the car was clean and my floor was swept and the sink clear of dishes. Gone are the days when I really gave a shit about anything. My bones are stiff, my joints creek and I can not hear what you are mumbling about over there.
I have had some pretty sad days in my life, but the saddest one of all was about 2 weeks after my husband had passed and I was standing and looking at his picture on the wall and it dawned on me that I would never again be held by a man who loved me completely. I would never be able to just turn off the stove and go out to eat because he just wanted to take me.
No more fishing trips.
No more running up to Cripple Creek.
No more peanut shells on the floor.
No more heated debates over politics.
No more watching me mow the grass.
No more walking up behind me and putting his arms around me and laying his head on my back.
No more anything.
I did start dating, but the first guy died. The second one told me, "I always felt like I was standing in Kenny's shadow." As it turned out, he probably was. Mother always told me that divorces were easy, because there was usually hard feelings on both parts. But when the partner dies, they take on sainthood. You forget the little things that irritated you and the partner is remembered as perfect.
Mother was so wise.
I miss sharing happy times. I miss sharing sad times. I miss sharing little victories I win. I miss showing him what I did down in the sewing room and I miss cooking for him. And I miss setting in the front yard with the animals and watching the world go by. I miss him.
Well, I need to go down one level and pick up the mouse body. Thanks, Icarus. I really have nothing planned for today, but I know I have to get started on my day. Put my memories away and mark another day off the calendar.
All I can say, is have a nice day and enjoy what you have while it is there to be enjoyed. Matter while you can, because time is fleeting. Time and tide wait for no man.
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