I do not know when I met John Tenorio. I woke up this morning trying to figure it out. It was after he left Albertson's, I think and about the time he was coming out of a long term relationship. He was in need of a non judgmental friend and Lord only knows just how non judgmental I am! At the time I was doing the second Tuesday of the month luncheons and John had 2 good legs. I was dating a little (6'2") biker fellow who owned a home just a couple blocks from the place we held our luncheons. That worked well. I could feed the clients and then take him leftovers. Men that tall need lots of food.
To say that John and I were instant friends would be very misleading. I had been doing this for years and all at once I had this snot nosed kid telling me what he wanted for lunch. Since I had to lug everything into the building and up the elevator and down the hall, I thought he was just pretty demanding. I explained to him that I was old and that crap got heavy, so he better just get his fanny there early enough to help with the carrying. He agreed. And he actually helped.
John was a born leader and I was a born doer. World AIDS day is December 1 and by the time John showed up the AIDS Quilt was conceived and becoming part of the service. Sometimes we were at PCC, the University, or the Arts Center. He found sponsors and pulled Pueblo Community Health Center into the mix. He found sponsors to furnish refreshments. My job was taking care of the quilt and I was good with that. He finally met with the powers that be at Rawlings Library and found a permanent home for our December 1 service and the quilt now hangs on the 4th floor for part of November and most of December.
Days flow into years and years fade away. John and I had our share of disagreements and life went on at my house. My friend passed away on July 13, 2012 and I started volunteering at Hospice. It was in that time period that John got a sore on his foot that would not heal. He went into Parkview Hospital and after a few weeks it became apparent that he would lose his leg. Now what do you say to someone who is in that position? I had no words, but thankfully John did.
" It is no big deal. They cut it off right here and then build me another one that snaps right on, good as new."
Somehow I could not picture this, but John said it and that is how it went. Off with the old leg and on with the new. Little rehab and next thing I knew I was sewing a sock for an artifical leg. One sock. Stretchy with skulls or something. John never missed a beat. He never used crutches, because they slowed him down. He became an activist for everything he believed in from Native Americans, HIV/AIDS, Health care for all, Food Labeling, Black Hills Energy, Migrant Workers and Lord only knows what else.
We talked every day. His kids got older and graduated and began their lives. John became a grandfather and was so proud of his little family. He talked to brother Len in New Zealand every day. Every day. Sometimes he and I would be on the phone and he would say, "Oh, there is Len!" and we immediately broke our connection. They talked for hours!
I became known as John's other mother. I was good with that. My kids were good with that. I knew John was tired a lot. I knew he was due for a kidney transplant on December 17. He just didn't tell me or anyone else how bad it was. I am sure he knew he was rolling loaded dice, he just did not want to worry us.
And so this morning, I look back down the road I walked with John Tenorio and see all the signs that were there. He was my friend. He was my confidante. He could have been my son and he was on some level. I miss him. I miss him every day. I am going to spend today letting go as I turn this page of my life and close the chapter on John.
I know some of you will read this and want to reach out and comfort me. I would ask that you not do that at this time. Today is my day of letting go and it is just between John and I. Thank you.
To say that John and I were instant friends would be very misleading. I had been doing this for years and all at once I had this snot nosed kid telling me what he wanted for lunch. Since I had to lug everything into the building and up the elevator and down the hall, I thought he was just pretty demanding. I explained to him that I was old and that crap got heavy, so he better just get his fanny there early enough to help with the carrying. He agreed. And he actually helped.
John was a born leader and I was a born doer. World AIDS day is December 1 and by the time John showed up the AIDS Quilt was conceived and becoming part of the service. Sometimes we were at PCC, the University, or the Arts Center. He found sponsors and pulled Pueblo Community Health Center into the mix. He found sponsors to furnish refreshments. My job was taking care of the quilt and I was good with that. He finally met with the powers that be at Rawlings Library and found a permanent home for our December 1 service and the quilt now hangs on the 4th floor for part of November and most of December.
Days flow into years and years fade away. John and I had our share of disagreements and life went on at my house. My friend passed away on July 13, 2012 and I started volunteering at Hospice. It was in that time period that John got a sore on his foot that would not heal. He went into Parkview Hospital and after a few weeks it became apparent that he would lose his leg. Now what do you say to someone who is in that position? I had no words, but thankfully John did.
" It is no big deal. They cut it off right here and then build me another one that snaps right on, good as new."
Somehow I could not picture this, but John said it and that is how it went. Off with the old leg and on with the new. Little rehab and next thing I knew I was sewing a sock for an artifical leg. One sock. Stretchy with skulls or something. John never missed a beat. He never used crutches, because they slowed him down. He became an activist for everything he believed in from Native Americans, HIV/AIDS, Health care for all, Food Labeling, Black Hills Energy, Migrant Workers and Lord only knows what else.
We talked every day. His kids got older and graduated and began their lives. John became a grandfather and was so proud of his little family. He talked to brother Len in New Zealand every day. Every day. Sometimes he and I would be on the phone and he would say, "Oh, there is Len!" and we immediately broke our connection. They talked for hours!
I became known as John's other mother. I was good with that. My kids were good with that. I knew John was tired a lot. I knew he was due for a kidney transplant on December 17. He just didn't tell me or anyone else how bad it was. I am sure he knew he was rolling loaded dice, he just did not want to worry us.
And so this morning, I look back down the road I walked with John Tenorio and see all the signs that were there. He was my friend. He was my confidante. He could have been my son and he was on some level. I miss him. I miss him every day. I am going to spend today letting go as I turn this page of my life and close the chapter on John.
I know some of you will read this and want to reach out and comfort me. I would ask that you not do that at this time. Today is my day of letting go and it is just between John and I. Thank you.
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