World AIDS Day & the Quilt

I do not know when Pueblo began the commemoration of World AIDS Day.  I do know that at that commemoration there were only 2 people.  They went to the Arts Center and put black ribbons on several pictures.  Then that evening the 2 of them held a candle light vigil.  She was the sister of a young man who had passed from AIDS and he was a victim.  I never knew his name, but I still see her today.  It was through her that the Pueblo AIDS Memorial Quilt was conceived.

The next year there were 5 of us.  3 of us were parents of a gay child.  The third year there were 2  mothers and my daughter Debbie with her biker husband Hammer.  For some reason we thought we had to stay until midnight all the years before.  That year, Hammer told us we were nuts because it was cold enough to freeze the b@^^s off a brass monkey and there was no one that knew we were there. He was right!

From those humble beginnings many things transpired.  Someone started the Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt early on.  It lives in California.  It is constructed of individual panels measuring 3' x 6', which is the size of a regular grave.  I conceived the idea for a smaller version of this constructed of 1' x 2' panels.  The Pueblo AIDS Memorial Quilt was dedicated at the Sangre de Cristo Arts Center on December 1, 1997.  For several years, that was it's venue until we started having World AIDS Day here.  The library is now it's home through December.  It is still stored in my basement.

The big quilt in California is now too big to be displayed any where.  The last showing of it was on the mall in Washington D.C.

NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt

The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt, often abbreviated to AIDS Memorial Quilt or AIDS Quilt, is an enormous memorial to celebrate the lives of people who have died of AIDS-related causes. Weighing an estimated 54 tons, it is the largest piece of community folk art in the world as of 2016. Wikipedia

Tomorrow at 2:00 we will gather to recognize World AIDS Day.  Part of that celebration will be to recognize the loss of one of our leaders, John A. Tenorio.  He passed one year ago the day after Thanksgiving.  John was my friend.  I was the mother he lost and he was the brother I lost.  Our friendship had gotten off to a rocky start many years before, but we had both come to realize that this was a friendship blessed by God and misunderstood by man.

Sunday we will add his panel to the quilt.  It is simple.  The fabric is one of the plaid shirts he always wore.  The Christmas card he sent out the first year he was a grandfather is in the pocket.  There is a picture of him and his brother, Len in the city hall parking lot.  It does not tell a story.  It is not a work of art.  But it does hold a lot of tear drops, because I miss that boy more than words can say.  It is just something that will mark the life and death of John A. Tenorio.

May he rest in peace knowing he leaves behind a legacy that will never be forgotten and an empty place in our hearts that will never be filled.

Time flies when your heart is breaking.

I do not know when I met John Tenorio.  I woke up this morning trying to figure it out.  It was after he left Albertson's,  I think and about the time he was coming out of a long term relationship.  He was in need of a non judgmental friend and Lord only knows just how non judgmental I am!  At the time I was doing the second Tuesday of the month luncheons and John had 2 good legs.  I was dating a little (6'2") biker fellow who owned a home just a couple blocks from the place we held our luncheons.  That worked well.  I could feed the clients and then take him leftovers.  Men that tall need lots of food.

To say that John and I were instant friends would be very misleading.  I had been doing this for years and all at once I had this snot nosed kid telling me what he wanted for lunch.  Since I had to lug everything into the building and up the elevator and down the hall, I thought he was just pretty demanding.  I explained to him that I was old and that crap got heavy, so he better just get his fanny there early enough to help with the carrying.  He agreed.  And he actually helped.

John was a born leader and I was a born doer.  World AIDS day is December 1 and by the time John showed up the AIDS Quilt was conceived and becoming part of the service.  Sometimes we were at  PCC,  the University, or the Arts Center.  He found sponsors and pulled Pueblo Community Health Center into the mix.  He found sponsors to furnish refreshments.  My job was taking care of the quilt and I was good with that.  He finally met with the powers that be at Rawlings Library  and found a permanent home for our December 1 service and the quilt now hangs on the 4th floor for part of November and most of December.

Days flow into years and years fade away.  John and I had our share of disagreements and life went on at my house.  My friend passed away  on July 13, 2012 and I started volunteering at Hospice.  It was in that time period that John got a sore on his foot that would not heal.  He went into Parkview Hospital and after a few weeks it became apparent that he would lose his leg.  Now what do you say to someone who is in that position?  I had no words, but thankfully John did.

" It is no big deal.  They cut it off right here and then build me another one that snaps right on, good as new."

Somehow I could not picture this, but John said it and that is how it went.  Off with the old leg and on with the new.  Little rehab and next thing I knew I was sewing a sock for an artifical leg.  One sock.  Stretchy with skulls or something.  John never missed a beat.  He never used crutches, because they slowed him down.  He became an activist for everything he believed in from Native Americans,  HIV/AIDS, Health care for all, Food Labeling, Black Hills Energy, Migrant Workers and Lord only knows what else.

We talked every day.  His kids got older and graduated and began their lives.   John became a grandfather and was so proud of his little family.  He talked to brother Len in New Zealand every day.  Every day.  Sometimes he and I would be on the phone and he would say, "Oh, there is Len!" and we immediately broke our connection.  They talked for hours!

I became known as John's other mother.  I was good with that.  My kids were good with that.  I knew John was tired a lot.  I knew he was due for a kidney transplant on December 17.  He just didn't tell me or anyone else how bad it was.  I am sure he knew he was rolling loaded dice, he just did not want to worry us.

And so this morning, I look back down the road I walked with John Tenorio and see all the signs that were there.  He was my friend.  He was my confidante.  He could have been my son and he was on some level.  I miss him.  I miss him every day.  I am going to spend today letting go as I turn this page of my life and close the chapter on John.

I know some of you will read this and want to reach out and comfort me.  I would ask that you not do that at this time.  Today is my day of letting go and it is just between John and I.  Thank you.

Lost! Found! Lost again! Damn!

For Valentine's day, I received flowers and a tube containing 25 pot seeds from a benevolent friend who works in the "grow".  He assured me that these seeds would grow the marijuana but not the kind you smoke.  Something about male and female and buds and other stuff that these were incapable of producing.  This fits my criteria to a "t".  I want to make stationary out of them and sell it in my online store.  See this leaf?

Isn't that pretty?  I learned how to make this stationary a very long time ago from a very old woman who wanted to pass the craft along so it would not cease to be.  She chose me!  She also gave me boxes of dried flowers, leaves, and about anything that grows.  Now I have not partaken of this leaf myself, but I am intelligent enough to know what it is and what it looks like.  And in the treasures she gifted me with was some of these.  Seems she went down on the river and came back with lots of leaves and among them was some marijuana leaves.  Now you must realize that all the greens she gathered were then placed between the pages of books and a weight applied so they would be very flat and very dry, but identifiable. 

Now isn't that pretty?  I think that is a Japanese Maple overlaid with Dill fronds.  Hard to believe that I made it, isn't it?  Making this stationary is an all day job and requires full use of the island in my kitchen.  I lay out 12 of them at a time.  First is a layer of waxed paper upon which I  place my design, cover with a single layer of tissue, paint the whole thing with thinned school glue, sprinkle each with glitter and leave to dry.  To fully appreciate my efforts, you just try to paint one layer of cheap tissue with a paint brush full of thinned glue.  When I go to bed that night the whole house  is filled with these things drying.  Next morning it is ironing time.  Then trimming and folding, so this is no easy chore.  Lastly my name is signed in gold ink and I am done.  I sell these for $2.00 each so they need to be nice.  Since this stuff is now legal in Colorado, I want to get in on the market.  Hence the growing and needing of seeds. 
Back on track here.  You now know why I wanted the seeds.  Being a pushy broad I generally get what I want by just wanting it.  True with the seeds.  So any way, here lay this vial of seeds on my counter.  Patty and Vanny were here and the seeds just laid there.  I have  a lady who is a very good friend who shall remain nameless, who helps me keep this house from becoming a true "hoarders nest."  This same lady has been known to partake of the herb.  She must eat hers cause she talks about "the bowl."  To make a long story short, she was coming by to visit and I was reluctant to let her know my future plans in the "growing of the weed" area.  So I grabbed the vial and hid it.  Now I am sure you are a step ahead of me here and you know how my mind works.  Later that day, I laid out the container I wanted to use to hold  the seeds and dirt.  Whoops!  Where did I put those seeds?
I looked in all the usual hiding places.  Patty and Vanna searched in all the drawers.  The next day Bret and Amanda came for a visit and they were full of guesses as to where they might be, but it was all to no avail.   I knew back in the far recesses of my mind that I knew where I put them.  It is just that I rarely venture back into that area of my mind, because there are things there in the shadows that scare me! 
So yesterday, Patty and Savannah packed up and went back to Lakin.  I immediately had a nap.  When I woke up, I spent a few minutes looking into corners and then decided to call my friend, John.  I explained the seed business to him.  He of course thought it was funny.  While we were talking about a fundraiser for our friend Daneya that is coming up next week, I wandered over to the sewing machine I keep here in the office.  I opened the door, pulled out the drawer and voila!  My little pink vial of seeds!  Knowing how fleeting my memory is these days, I told John of my find and told him I was moving them and where.  Now 2 of us know where they are.  I am trusting that he remembers where I put them.  That was, after all, his job.  My job is to report on me, and I might note that is a full time job. 
So once more the seeds are found.  The container to plant them in is , however, out in the shed where it is now very cold, thanks to that damn Polar Vortex!  Looks cold out there today.  I think I need to go to the El Pueblo today with my spinning wheel, but I am not sure.  Nothing is ever sure in my life two days in a row.  I was up late last night listing seed catchers on eBay in a variation format.  I am almost afraid to check those out today. 
So, I called Patty and told her where I found the seeds.  Now, I am off to figure something out, but I do not know what.  Will be in touch soon and we will return to the Stroh place, Nickerson, Kansas, and see what I remember about 60+ years ago,  because I am not having much luck here in the present!