I was never what you call pretty growing up. Even as a teenager, I was on the scrawny side. My hair was brown and my front teeth were over sized and stayed that way my whole life through. I was very sickly and spent lots of time with an ear ache and a pain in my side that was attributed to appendicitis. However, when I was 12 years old I was rushed in for an emergency tonsillectomy. Strange as it may seem, I never had a sick day after that. I did remain skinny, weighing in at 92 pounds when I married my first husband at the age of 19.
I have managed to go my entire life without an inoculation of any kind. I was always so jealous of the kids who had the small pox vaccination scar on their arm. Now I do not know how I managed to survive and not get vaccinated for anything, but I did. Well, about 25 years ago I was trying to fly a kite in the field next door and stepped on a nail. Kenneth took me to the emergency room and the doctor wanted to "update" my tetanus vaccine. I told him I had never been vaccinated against anything in my life. He gave me the tetanus shot and I let him because Kenneth was between me and the door. I left with instructions to make an appointment in his office for my immunizations. Never kept that date and the matter was dropped. So I will say this, I am very healthy and rarely ever get sick. (There was that time I was laid low by a bad batch of hummus from Sam's, but that was man made misery in a tub.)
So back to the subject. My sister's were all pretty and actually had a shape. I remained a stick figure on the horizon and when I would complain, mother would just tell me. "Beauty is skin deep." To be honest, that did not help much. Of course as life goes on, things become more important than beauty. And something that I learned early was that an abusive husband will prey on your weakness. I had 3 of them, followed by one that was just a user and then I met Kenneth. Kenneth never told me I was beautiful. He told me I was smart. He told me I was a worker. He told me I was dependable. He told me I was trustworthy. He told me he was comfortable with me. He told me he loved me. He loved my mind. He loved my compassion. He loved my zest for life. He loved my cooking. He loved everything about me and I began to feel beautiful.
And of course Mother came for regular visits. One time we were discussing life before Kenny and she was telling him how I had raised the kids alone and many times gone without food so they could eat. Kenny chimed in at that point with, "Well, you could never tell by looking at her that she ever missed a meal!" He had a way of putting life in a perspective that made it work.
One time I made the remark that I had never felt pretty. And beautiful was a word that was never used in the same sentence with my name. He looked at me kind of strangely when I said that. His answer was all I needed. He said, "Yes, beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone." And then I understood, that this simple man thought I was beautiful and I have held to that thought through all these years.
I had a man once in my life that saw through my exterior and into my soul. That only comes around once in a lifetime but it lasts forever.
I have managed to go my entire life without an inoculation of any kind. I was always so jealous of the kids who had the small pox vaccination scar on their arm. Now I do not know how I managed to survive and not get vaccinated for anything, but I did. Well, about 25 years ago I was trying to fly a kite in the field next door and stepped on a nail. Kenneth took me to the emergency room and the doctor wanted to "update" my tetanus vaccine. I told him I had never been vaccinated against anything in my life. He gave me the tetanus shot and I let him because Kenneth was between me and the door. I left with instructions to make an appointment in his office for my immunizations. Never kept that date and the matter was dropped. So I will say this, I am very healthy and rarely ever get sick. (There was that time I was laid low by a bad batch of hummus from Sam's, but that was man made misery in a tub.)
So back to the subject. My sister's were all pretty and actually had a shape. I remained a stick figure on the horizon and when I would complain, mother would just tell me. "Beauty is skin deep." To be honest, that did not help much. Of course as life goes on, things become more important than beauty. And something that I learned early was that an abusive husband will prey on your weakness. I had 3 of them, followed by one that was just a user and then I met Kenneth. Kenneth never told me I was beautiful. He told me I was smart. He told me I was a worker. He told me I was dependable. He told me I was trustworthy. He told me he was comfortable with me. He told me he loved me. He loved my mind. He loved my compassion. He loved my zest for life. He loved my cooking. He loved everything about me and I began to feel beautiful.
And of course Mother came for regular visits. One time we were discussing life before Kenny and she was telling him how I had raised the kids alone and many times gone without food so they could eat. Kenny chimed in at that point with, "Well, you could never tell by looking at her that she ever missed a meal!" He had a way of putting life in a perspective that made it work.
One time I made the remark that I had never felt pretty. And beautiful was a word that was never used in the same sentence with my name. He looked at me kind of strangely when I said that. His answer was all I needed. He said, "Yes, beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone." And then I understood, that this simple man thought I was beautiful and I have held to that thought through all these years.
I had a man once in my life that saw through my exterior and into my soul. That only comes around once in a lifetime but it lasts forever.
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