I remember only snippets of life on the Stroh place because I was 6 years old when we left there, but I do remember my very first trip to the grocery store alone. Looking back I realize it must have been 6 or seven blocks one way which would make it about a mile round trip. Back in those days most errands were done without the benefit of a motor vehicle because if we had one we did not want to "wear it out" doing menial things like going to the grocery.
I remember mother placing some coins on top of the grocery list and tying them into the corner of a tattered handkerchief. That was what served as a coin purse back in the days of abject poverty. I had walked to the store many times with mother and my sisters, but for some reason this would be my first trip alone. I expect sister Dorothy was either newly born or about to be and momma needed something from the store for supper.
I clutched the handkerchief in my little fist and began the journey. I was familiar with our long driveway so that was no problem. Jake and I ran up and down it many times barefoot in the soft, silty black dirt. It was under the tree at the start of the driveway that Donna had gotten a turtle latched on to her finger, but I think I told you about that! What lay ahead was a long block before I got to Main Street where I would be safe.
I entered that block very slowly because on the right side was a big black cow (which was no doubt a bull) that looked at me with huge black eyes. He watched my slow progress as I never took my eyes off of him for fear he would jump the fence and eat me. His horns were long and I knew he was going to be there when I came back so I did not want to make him mad. I did not see his teeth, but I knew he had them because he was chewing. I was flooded with relief when I reached the end of his fence and safety!
The next block had 3 houses before I got to Main Street. I walked quietly and slowly in case there was a mean dog that wanted to eat me. As I recall there was not and I reached the safety of Main Street. Why I thought I would be safe on Main Street is beyond me because I still had the railroad tracks to cross, but Main Street and the Nickerson High School was a beacon to me. With the giant cow and his big teeth behind me I breathed a sigh of relief, and turned right onto Main Street. Two blocks passed without incident and there was no train. I was almost there!
Arriving at the downtown area which was 2 blocks long was monumental to me! I was only 2 blocks from my goal! I remember looking in the window at the Library and seeing all the books. Then Corrington Dry Goods had a dress in the window that I knew my mother would never own. Then the jail which I walked past very quickly lest a bad guy grab me. The sheriff was on his chair in front of the door. He had the chair leaned back against the door and was sound asleep. The bank was next and then Berridge IGA, but I was going to Flemings. The drug store was on the corner and across the street I reached Flemings Grocery.
I handed the handkerchief to the lady at the counter like mother had told me to do. She opened it and went to fetch the items. Seems like it was a loaf of bread, a piece of suet, and a portion of butter. She handed me the parcel with the now empty handkerchief, smiled and I left the store. My job was almost over!
The trip home was uneventful until I reached the railroad track. I saw the arms go down on the crossing and I knew the train was coming! If I hurried I could make it, but fear froze me in place and I waited by the grain elevator until until the train lumbered past and the arms were once more raised. Then I waited a little longer just to be sure it was not coming back. And I still had the giant cow to pass.
I left Main Street and walked as quietly as possible, but that damn cow had supersonic hearing and when I reached his fence I was scared shitless to see that he was looking right at me. He was waiting. My mind raced for another way home, but there was nothing coming to mind. He looked at me and chewed something that I would learn later was a cud. He never took his eyes off me and after a time I knew I had to go past him again. Every watch something move so slowly that you never really detected movement? That was me! Looking back and watching this is slow motion from the cows perspective, I am pretty sure he was laughing his ass off, if cows laugh!
When I reached the head of our driveway I broke into a dead run. When I burst through the door and into my mothers arms I also burst into tears. I was safe at home! The mean cow had not eaten me! The train had not run over me! I had not been devoured by a vicious dog! And best of all my mother was proud that I had gone to the store all alone and came home with exactly what she needed.
I realize now that my mother had probably been more worried about me, then I was. It was my first tremulous step into being a responsible person, but it would not be my last. Life would always hold challenges and I would always know that at the end of the task my mother would be there with open arms and pride in her hazel eyes for me.
I have met many people through life who have cheered me on and celebrated my victories and wept at my failures, but none as special as the one I called "Momma."
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