That is an arachnid.

 And when I start screaming and clawing at the front of your shirt and trying to crawl on top of your head, it is called arachnophobia.   And yes it is a very real mental condition, and yes it can be controlled.  Death of the human suffering this condition will cure it, pretty much. How do I know it is real?  Stick with me here for just a bit.

Now, many of you know me.  You know that I fear nothing.  I have walked through the very fires of hell and came out the other side smiling.  Now that might be an exaggeration, but I have seen my scary things in life and for the most part been unaffected.  I can see a snake slithering into the goose house and still manage to go in and do my chores.  The only snakes I kill are the ones who get aggressive with me and that only happened the one time.   (Course that can also be said for a few husbands who were not smart enough to know when to stop.)

When I came to Colorado I was married to a guy named Charlie and he had a son who was pretty much grown.  Of course, they wanted to show me the high spots of Colorado and one of them is Beulah.  Since we had a two door car and they were both big, Susie and I were in the back seat when we were coming down from Beulah.  Suddenly Charlie pulled over and stopped.  There was a tarantula crossing the road and heading into the ditch.  When I saw the size of that thing, my eyes glazed over and purple lightening was flashing inside my head.  

Now, a note here to my friends in Kansas.  These things are BIG!  I swear to God that one had to be a foot across!  It had teeth!  It was looking at me in the back seat.  It wanted to eat me.  When David started to open the door to "get it and take it home for a pet" my world went suddenly black.  I shit you not!  I had both of those guys by the collar and raised up out of the seat.  At that point they decided they really did not need a spider for a pet.  I still have flashbacks when I think of that day.

Years passed and I never encountered another spider of that size until I married Kenneth.  One evening  after supper Jackie and Jim walked into our house.  Jimmy carried a paper cup and had something to show me.  I knew!  Instinct kicked in and I told him not to do it, but being the California boy he was, he was proud of his catch and wanted to show me.  When he dumped that spider out on my table, I lost all sense of reason.  The next thing I clearly remember is him begging me to forgive him.  Here to tell you right now he is still on thin ice.  Ask him about it.  Today we can look back and laugh, but that took a year or so.

And now I do not even think about tarantulas, unless something kicks in and triggers me.  Hiking at the reservoir the other day was a challenge to me because it is breeding season and they are migrating to the breeding grounds.  Oh, dear God!  My hiking partner was quick to tell me that  if we saw one he would not catch it and he understood I would not like  a closer look.  And no he would not kill it just because it wanted to go in the bushes and have a little spider fun.  Watching for rattlesnakes was not an issue, but the thought of beady eyed spiders became one!  Luckily the man did not have to witness my descent into total paranoia!

So there you have it.  The worst things I had to contend with in Kansas were millipedes.  They are about an inch or so long and have millions of legs.  They scurry up the wall and then hide so you can not kill them.  The spiders are mostly granddaddy long legs.  Couse the Black Widow likes to build a web in your basement window and hatch out her babies.  The Black Widows with babies are always females because they eat their husband after sex.   Preying Mantis females eat their husbands head off after sex.  Gives a whole new meaning to "losing your head over a woman!"

So, now you have learned a new word, arachnophobia, and a little lesson on the sex life of those innocent looking little insects that inhabit our earth.  Just remember this:

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing!

Peace!

Holy crap! Can you say arachniphobia?

I know humans in other parts of this world will not understand the phobia that is now in process here in southwest Colorado,  but I do and it strikes fear in my heart and causes me to stick a little closer to the inside of the house.  To make it short, I am scared shitless of spiders.  That fear is known as arachnophobia. Right now the Tarantula migration is in progress and if you think I am going to venture very far from this sanctuary I call home, you are sadly mistaken. I just watched a news cast that only adds fuel to my already Saint Vitus dance fear.  The lady was explaining how the Comanche National Grassland is home to thousands and thousands of Oklahoma Brown Tarantulas'.

Now she explained how sweet they are.  They are not really migrating, but they are looking for a mate and then they will hatch out a whole bunch more of these things.  Their biggest enemy is a thing called a Tarantula Hawk.  (That vision ought to make me sleep better at night.)  The Tarantula Hawk is actually a giant wasp and it swopes down and paralyzes the spider, drags it to the burrow and lays eggs in it's back.  It also feeds on the live, paralyzed spider for weeks while the eggs are hatching.  Gross!

I have always been scared spitless of spiders and the list of which ones I am scared of more then others varies from which one I am seeing at the moment.  I did see a Tarantula crossing the road up on 25th lane once.  I did swerve to miss it, not out of compassion for the spider, but I was afraid the car would turn over if I hit it or worse yet if I straddled it, the thing might jump up on the crankcase and make it's way into my car and then there would be a lot more screaming going on!  I am pretty sure that they creep around this house when I am not looking, but I am alright with that as long as they do not let me see them, but if one wants to wave his legs around there is going to be some blood curdling screams emitted from the depths of my soul.  I do not know if they have ears or not and for the most part I really do not care.

My fear list begins with spiders and then comes centipedes, followed by snakes.  Rabid dogs and bats are alright as are most birds.  I do buy my insecticide by the gallon.  See, all that stuff belongs outside and my two lower levels tend to be pretty much a toxic waste dump.  I gave up my garden because I saw a snake under one of the squash plants.  I am here to tell you people that I may not be normal, but I do love most of you and I am a compassionate person at times.  That having been said, I shall start my day and see where it goes from here.

If you want to see the migration, you need to drive out to La Junta and head towards Trinidad.  I will not be joining you.

 Here is the link.

Over sexed tarantula's loose on the Mesa.

Ok, I am making a special posting here, you know, deviating from my regular modus operands.  I read this in the newspaper, so I know it is true.  The Tarantula's are breeding out here on the Mesa and they are not one bit timid about it. either!

I have lived on this Mesa out here since 1982.  In all that time I have seen 2 Tarantula's near my house.  One wandered in and a son-in-law carried the other in the house.  Needless to say he also carried it out at my gentle urging.  You should know going in to this conversation that I do have a tad bit of a case of Arachnophobia.  This means the bigger the spider the more screaming and crying you will hear from this little body.

Now the article in the paper gave us a lot of useful information including the fact that it takes a male 5 years to mature.  I did not actually read the article because had I read it, I would have had nightmares for sure.  I do not want to read about them.  I do not want to think about them.  I only want to know why they are invading my space and I find it is because they are mating.  The mere fact that they are mating causes me to think there will be more of them.  I am about half way smart here on the breeding thing, having had 5 children of my own.

Now what I am wondering here is this; what shall I do if I see a breeding pair?  Shall I cheer them on in hopes of lots of babies?  Should I turn my back and give them privacy?  Should I stand there and extol the glories of safe sex?  I am thinking I wish I did not know how to read.  Or perhaps the Chieftain could write about something that does not cause visions of very hairy legs to come to my mind.  I am hoping this mating thing does not go on much longer.  I am actually praying for a hard freeze.  My life has lots of little turmoils as I scurry along towards the end of it and I can see if I must be on the lookout for giant spiders that I am not going to be able to watch where I am going and I could hurt my little self.

So, where ever you are tonight, be glad you are not out here in Colorado in the midst of this thing going on here.  And you might want to get me a room ready at your house, cause I think I may be moving on very soon!