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Showing posts with label babysit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label babysit. Show all posts

Friday, August 30, 2013

A snap shot of my test kitchen! Oh, and the judge of the cookies!

You may remember this little tyke when I babysat her several years back.  Well, now she is growing up and insisting I make her cookie, which of course, I did.

 Here you go.  Try this and tell me what you think!  This one is gluten free for your granny.
 
Hmm.  This has a different taste.  Gluten free, you say?
By jove!  I think I like this!  Why yes, yes I do!  Let me give these a big 2 thumbs up!
 
 
And that was how the day went!  A rousing success for my gluten free friends!
 
 



Saturday, May 26, 2012

Tide pods, or what the hell do I do now?

I just saw something horrifying on the news!  You know the pretty little canisters that hold the Tide Soap Pods that I just toss in the washer and forget?  Well, I had one near catastrophe with them so far.  I tossed it into the washer part, it hit the spindle in the middle of the tub and ricocheted between the tub and the liner.  To the best of my knowledge it is probably disintegrated, or a least I hope so.  But worse then that, they are now going to make the canisters child proof!  Remember what I told you yesterday about that?  I thought I was safe in the laundry.  What kid actually wants to eat soap?  Apparently there are a lot of them out there!

Oh, when mine were young they ate soap a time or two before they learned acceptable language and the words I use are two entirely different things!  Now they did snack on the ex-lax once.  That was Debbie and Dorothy Renee.  I do not think either of them eats chocolate to this day.  As I recall, if there was something we did not want them to ingest we put it up very high and if we caught them near anything we had told them "no" to, there was a little thing called  "swat your hiney" that we played.  This was our idea of positive reinforcement.  We also knew how inquisitive the little bugger were so we used a tactic called "watching the kids."  No doubt we were infringing on thier privacy, but trust me here; a trip to the emergency room infringes on a lot of my rights.  So we did it.

There were other cruelties we did to them.  I liked to put them in "time out."  Time out usually meant that they would fall asleep and I could get a break.  Course since I ended up a single mother and child support enforcement at that time was a big joke, the kids were usually under the care of a "babysitter."  This was a person who was paid to come into my home and do the "watch the kids thing" while I worked.  I had a very lovely lady name Mrs. McIver who came daily and the kids loved her.  She read to them and took them for walks and all the things I never had time to do.  There was another lady who came when Mrs. McIver could not.  Her name was Ida Mae.  She was a very quiet lady and did her job of "watching" them.  This coupled with the fact that she had about 14 whiskers on her chin that were 5-9 inches long made them fear her.  She always brought them candy, but they never accepted it.  Could have been the ex-lax factor there.

Getting to the point here.  As an old lady with stiff fingers I am living in terror of what they are going to devise to keep me out of my Tide Pod container.  If they just secure the lid I think I can get the butcher knife and cut the top off and throw it away.  But if they make the container itself  heavier, I have to be careful.  I have scars from trying to chop away the heavy plastic and since my skin is getting thinner the kids are starting to hide my knives.  I think this is why old people end up in the nursing homes!  We are confronted on a daily basis with challenges on these damn child proof things.  So we don't use soap in the laundry, we don't take our pills, and even the bottle of milk sets on the shelf because we can not grab that tiny ring (assuming we know it is there and we can see it).

It is just easier to go to the nursing home and let them do it for us.  Then we get in there and find out they got the laundry mixed up and I now wear underwear that need to be held up with a safety pin and a bra that perches on the tips of my nipples.

I am telling you, this old age shit is for the birds!

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Thursday, April 19, 2012

OK, Shea kids, here it comes!

Way back in the deep recesses of my mind I recall working at the Ineeda Laundry in Hutchinson, Kansas.  Now I seem to be drawing a mental blank on this one, so it was probably in the days before I had sense enough to actually remember stuff.  I strongly suspect I may have been doing a little extra drinking back in those days.  So I am assuming it was before I began the wild child bearing cycle.  But maybe not. 
I do recall one afternoon Sister Mary called and told me to come to her house on 25th (?) Street as Tommy, your dad, had called from work and said there was a tornado heading right for her house and she needed to grab the baby and head for the basement.  Now back in those days, I was good!  I could beat a tornado to some one's house and save them. So I clocked out and made a bee line to Mary's.
Upon arrival we began to carry stuff to the basement.  Snacks, milk, pop, water, blankets, coffee pot, coffee, bread, tooth brush and tooth paste, the bassinet,  a change of clothes, pillows....and at last we were ready.  We secured the door and awaited the wrath of the storm.  I do not remember which one of us realized first that we had locked Dorothy Rene on the other side of the door.  We immediately undid the door and saved the baby.  Then we laughed so hard and made a deal that we must never tell another soul what we had done.  Oops!  That slipped out.
Then there was the time she called frantically alternately between laughter and horror.  Seems there were a couple cats on the roof doing what a couple cats are known to do, and she was mortified that the neighbors would see.  She insisted that I must come immediately and get them down.  Well, kiddies, needless to say, I did not answer that call to do the big sister duty that time.  Even in a drunken stupor, I am smarter than that!
Once she invited my husband de jour and I to supper.  She was making Chicken and Noodles.  At that time they owned a big black hairy dog.  I watched the dog eating his kibble and then helped set the table.  When she appeared with the Chicken and Noodles in a big pink plastic bowl, I  remarked, "Oh, do you have two of these bowls?"  She replied that she did not.  More fits of laughter because I had just seen Poochie eating out of this one!  Your dad was horrified, but we got a big kick out of it and my boy toy never knew what was going on there.
I remember way, way back when Mary was maybe 9 or 10,  Mother would cut our hair and it was a rite of Spring, so to speak.  But Sister Mary did not want hers cut, so she was the only one of us kids who did not suffer the dreaded "bowl hair cut".  That was in our house on Strong Street.  I also remember once mother was going to run the vacuum for some reason unknown to me since we had linoleum floors, but when she opened the bag there were a nest full of newborn mice in it.  She handed them over to us to take out to the front sidewalk (And why we called it that is beyond me since it was the only sidewalk on the whole block!) and smash them with a rock.  Even writing that sounds gruesome!  We, of course, spirited them off to a safe place where mother could not find them.  I think the cat took care of our little hatchet job.
Anyway, this is the first time in a few years that your mom has not come to spend a month or so with me and I sure miss that.  I am going to try to get down sometime this spring, but it just does not seem to be working out for me.  I miss Mary very much.  I miss all the sisters, but I guess life just hands us all these little twists and turns and then Dame Fate sets back and laughs at us.  I wish you kids could peer inside my head and see some of the sights in there.  Glad I still can!

Friday, February 17, 2012


This is a bunch of paper from a box I just unpacked.  If you look closely in the center you can see a black thing.  Do you have any idea at all what that could be?


 Ah!  It suddenly becomes clear, doesn't it?  Icarus, the cat from hell! 
May I have my chair?
I wish I could borrow that note book or see that screen.

Right now the devil cat is climbing through a box of eBay stuff that belongs to some one and I know if I try to make her move there is going to be a bunch of crashing and then I will have broken glass to clean up and something to pay for  that I sure did not need.  She is now peering at me from under the monitor.  Pretty soon she will start swatting at my fingers.  I have no idea how I have managed to keep my Internet up and running with her prowling all over my desk.  I think she can read, so I expect that will be swatted off  pretty soon.
I do not remember how long ago I got this cat.  Seems like over a year.  Hell, it seems like I have always had her.  She was a rescue cat and had just had a litter of kittens.  Of course she was skinny and had the droopy boobies.  Always amazes me how people can neglect an animal, but a lot of them do.  Anyway, when I got her, I kept her inside because I knew she would run away if she got outside.  She would go back to her old home, cause I hear that is what cats do.  Silly me.  She immediately settled in and thought she was a dog.
When I go out to do my chores, my dogs go with me.  Elvira is a Lhaso/Shitzu and Daisy is a Jack Russel Terrier/Wiener dog.  Both rescue dogs and I think I told you Elvira had just had a litter when we got her.  Daisy was just an unfed little runt with two black eyes.  She was Bret's dog.  So here they are, the three of them.
Daisy
Elvira 
Now when I go out there are all three of them with me.  I do not know how that cat knows I am even on the move, but here she comes.  The dogs are never more than 10 feet away, just waiting for some action.  So we go out back and every one of them goes and sniffs everything, but the real action comes when we start for the house.  Icarus and I get to the gate first and have to stand and holler for the busy little dogs.  Icarus settles her self down behind a barrel and waits.  When the first dog arrives she leaps through the air and lands on it's back and rides on into the house.  I have tried to get a picture of that, but all I get is a blur. 
I had to get another printer because the controls on the other one were on top and she kept walking across them and running the scanner.  Guess she was doing "cat scans".   This printer fascinates her and when she hears me hit the print button she jumps up on the desk and peers into the place where the page will come out.  As soon as she sees it coming she grabs at it and if I don't get her first I fear she may be jerked in and spit out the other side.  And it is very hard to read the page after she has shredded it.  Well, the same thing happens in the bathroom.  If the stool is going to be flushed she is going to be with her paws over the side watching it go.
I have often thought about getting another cat to keep her company, but what if I then had 2 devil cats?  No matter where she is during the day, if I set in the recliner and flip  the foot rest out, before it is in the full upright position, Icarus will be on my stomach.  And the first thing she does is knead it for me.  When it is soft enough, she lays down and puts her paws on either side of my throat and turns out just enough claw for me to know that if I push her off my stomach, my jugular vein will be ripped from my throat. 
At night I wake up and find her perched on my shoulder, or laying curled up on the other side of the bed, or staring out the window at Lord only knows what.  But for all my complaining, I love all my animals, even the 13 geese out back.  Guarantee there is not a man walking who could cross that yard if I were not there to run interference.  Guard Geese.  Gotta get that sign up!
Well, I am off to start another day and hopefully I will actually get something done, but I doubt it very much. Today I am babysitting a 2 year old, so it is cuddle time around here!
Have a good one.

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