senior law day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Colorado Senior Law Day Program Schedule

 

 

 

 

7:00 - 8:00 Registration / Refreshments / Vendor Visiting / Appointment sign-up for "Ask A Lawyer"
 8:00 Welcome, Introductions, and Explanation of Day’s Events________M.C. James Jarman, KRDO






Sneak Peek Preview of the 2013 Historic Ghost Walk through the Union Avenue District
8:45 MAIN BALLROOM - Adult Protection and Elder Abuse________Missy Griggs

SC-237 - Fleecing Grandma & Grandpa______________________Betty Alt & Dr. Sandra K. Wells



9:30 Visit Vendor Booths
10:00 MAIN BALLROOM - Living Wills, Advance Medical Directives, DNR Orders, Proxies and End of Life Issues______________________________Paul Willumstad, P.C.

SC-237 - Mountain Mafia_________________________________Betty Alt & Dr. Sandra K. Wells



10:45 Visit Vendor Booths
11:15 MAIN BALLROOM - Scams, Frauds & Lotteries_______________Stacy Harris

SC-237 - Grandparent Rights in Colorado ___________________Sarah Lipka



12:00 Visit Vendor Booths
Seniors Invited to Bring Legal Questionsto the Free Legal Advice Clinic during Senior Law Day
  
 Volunteer attorneys from the Pueblo Bar Association will answer legal questions and provide advice at no cost. They will be available to answer legal questions regarding bankruptcy, civil and criminal issues, divorce, child custody, domestic violence, landlord-tenant, wills and trusts elder law and immigration.

There are a limited number of "Ask a Lawyer" segments for attendees to have the opportunity to speak individually with an attorney. If you would like to sign up, you will have 15 minutes to discuss legal issues with a Colorado licensed attorney. The "Ask-A-Lawyer" segments will be on a first-come, first served sign-up. Sign-up will be during the morning registration. We will not be able to give you an exact time but we will give you a time slot. (We apologize that we can’t accommodate everyone.)

The times may conflict with one of the general sessions, so you may miss a portion of that session. If you sign up for a "Ask-a-Lawyer" segment, we will provide information and a form that will help you organize your issues so you can maximize your time with the attorney.

Volunteer Attorneys

Hank Geisel         Matt Martin             Tim Oshea               Lisa Macchiato         Marcus Behm

Christine Pacheco-Koveleski               Kate Shafer             Richard Redding       Mark Ohlson

Wes Hassler         Nick Gradisar           William Ballas       Tony Cross

Mike Desaulniers

Tide pods, or what the hell do I do now?

I just saw something horrifying on the news!  You know the pretty little canisters that hold the Tide Soap Pods that I just toss in the washer and forget?  Well, I had one near catastrophe with them so far.  I tossed it into the washer part, it hit the spindle in the middle of the tub and ricocheted between the tub and the liner.  To the best of my knowledge it is probably disintegrated, or a least I hope so.  But worse then that, they are now going to make the canisters child proof!  Remember what I told you yesterday about that?  I thought I was safe in the laundry.  What kid actually wants to eat soap?  Apparently there are a lot of them out there!

Oh, when mine were young they ate soap a time or two before they learned acceptable language and the words I use are two entirely different things!  Now they did snack on the ex-lax once.  That was Debbie and Dorothy Renee.  I do not think either of them eats chocolate to this day.  As I recall, if there was something we did not want them to ingest we put it up very high and if we caught them near anything we had told them "no" to, there was a little thing called  "swat your hiney" that we played.  This was our idea of positive reinforcement.  We also knew how inquisitive the little bugger were so we used a tactic called "watching the kids."  No doubt we were infringing on thier privacy, but trust me here; a trip to the emergency room infringes on a lot of my rights.  So we did it.

There were other cruelties we did to them.  I liked to put them in "time out."  Time out usually meant that they would fall asleep and I could get a break.  Course since I ended up a single mother and child support enforcement at that time was a big joke, the kids were usually under the care of a "babysitter."  This was a person who was paid to come into my home and do the "watch the kids thing" while I worked.  I had a very lovely lady name Mrs. McIver who came daily and the kids loved her.  She read to them and took them for walks and all the things I never had time to do.  There was another lady who came when Mrs. McIver could not.  Her name was Ida Mae.  She was a very quiet lady and did her job of "watching" them.  This coupled with the fact that she had about 14 whiskers on her chin that were 5-9 inches long made them fear her.  She always brought them candy, but they never accepted it.  Could have been the ex-lax factor there.

Getting to the point here.  As an old lady with stiff fingers I am living in terror of what they are going to devise to keep me out of my Tide Pod container.  If they just secure the lid I think I can get the butcher knife and cut the top off and throw it away.  But if they make the container itself  heavier, I have to be careful.  I have scars from trying to chop away the heavy plastic and since my skin is getting thinner the kids are starting to hide my knives.  I think this is why old people end up in the nursing homes!  We are confronted on a daily basis with challenges on these damn child proof things.  So we don't use soap in the laundry, we don't take our pills, and even the bottle of milk sets on the shelf because we can not grab that tiny ring (assuming we know it is there and we can see it).

It is just easier to go to the nursing home and let them do it for us.  Then we get in there and find out they got the laundry mixed up and I now wear underwear that need to be held up with a safety pin and a bra that perches on the tips of my nipples.

I am telling you, this old age shit is for the birds!

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Yesterday, when I was young...

Do you remember that song that goes "Yesterday, when I was young, and the taste of life was sweet, like rain upon my tongue."?  I can hear it playing in my head, but the words do not jell any more.  This is like so many other things in my life that have gone awry. 

I remember when beer bottles had screw on caps and sometimes they were a little hard to grasp and that is why God gave us teeth; to open bottle caps!  Alas, those days are over and gone.  Well, actually, so are the teeth.  I think I used to have 32, but that number is slowly dwindling.  Granted, four of them were wisdom teeth which never fit anyway, but nonetheless, they were there.  Unfortunately the caps that were so easily removed with my super powerful jaws have now been replaced by caps devised by a mad scientist.  The first thing I need to do is read the "how to remove cap" instructions printed on the miniscule cap.  Well, the very first thing I have to do is find the magnifying glass so I can SEE the instructions.  Ok, here we go!

To remove cap grasp bottle firmly.  Push down on cap while twisting counterclockwise.  You may need to exert extra pressure.  Now, we are dealing with a prescription bottle with a cap that is maybe an inch across.  My fingers quit bending that far many years back, but I am game to try.  So I grasp the bottle firmly in my left hand.  I press my right hand onto the cap.  Everything is plastic and of course my hands are sweaty in anticipation of this chore.  Ok, push down and twist counterclockwise.  I am assuming the cap goes counterclockwise; not the bottle.  And in a perfect world, something would turn and something would open.  Hell, maybe I was supposed to turn myself counterclockwise.  So, I try again.  Once more with feeling!  So this time I grasp the bottle in my right hand with the cap in my left.  Counterclockwise should still be the same direction.  I recall life lessons that say "Lefty loosey, righty tighty."  Sounds great in theory.

By this time I have worked up a sweat and wonder if I really need these blood pressure pills open at all.  Surely some one will stop by later today and they will open them for me.  This leads me to remember all the things I need open, like the jar of pickles, the bottle of lavendar cleaner, and that bottle of aphid killer that I threw across the fence in total frustration.  What has my life become?  I can not even try to catch the rain on my tongue anymore, because I might catch pneumonia instead. 

And all this brings me to the crux of the matter.  I am getting old.  Not only are my fingers stiff and my teeth gone, even words take on new meaning.  Like colon is no longer a punctuation mark, it is now something inside me to be babied and cleansed on a regular basis.   Will no longer means determination, it is something I have to make and file with the court or when I go toes up the state of Colorado will be my beneficiary!  Friends and family are no longer just people to be cherished, they are to be feared and revered and do not tick them off or they will not come to my funeral.  (I do not want to be the only one there!)  Walker is no longer someone I meet on the path, it is what holds me up.  Depends is not an act you perform when counting on someone to do something, it is now a noun to replace "string bikini or thong."

And I could go on all day, but I can't because I want to make a cake and I have got to get that new bottle of vanilla open.  Think I will take it down to the Senior Center and make that our challenge for the day!  Please do not laugh at this because one of these days you are going to be wanting to taste the rain only to find that it is now acid rain and you want no part of that!

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