Calling all arm chair phycologists!

Do you analyze dreams in your spare time?  I just woke up terrified.  Here are the facts of the dream I just had:  I was young, probably in my 30's.  I had a small child and a husband that was very hard working and devoted to me and my child. We lived in a small house near a prison facility.  I do not know where he worked.  My brother (who has been deceased for 55 years) was there visiting.  We came back from a car ride to find barrels of guns and ammunition in the front room.  There was one barrel filled with grain.  Since we were all law abiding citizens we were freaked out.  Suddenly there was a knock on the door and the police were there.  They had a tip that I was running guns.

One of the police was a heavy set, very friendly cop that seemed to believe me and one was bound and determined that I was pure evil.  These two played good cop/bad cop while the other 5 ransacked my house.  They found nothing else; just the guns and ammo in the front room.  I do not know how the dream ended because I woke up.

Now, the facts leading up to bed last night.  Jiraiya and I had a visitor who actually came in my house and drank a cup of tea and we set at the table with our masks off.  Later Ross came by and picked up noodles, but he stayed on the porch and wore his mask.  Jiriaya and I walked down and looked in the ditch to see if the water was running (If it was we would try to catch a crawdad, which he calls dagcrawlers or crabs.)  We also watched a bird setting on a nest up in the tree right outside the window.  None of those activities seem to me a portend of a nightmare!  But, for some reason I woke up scared to death.

So, give me your take on this.  Leave it in the comments below this post, or go back and leave it on facebook, (which would be the quickest way for me to see it.)

So, for now I am going to make Bret his breakfast sandwich to take to work, have another cup of coffee and try to shake this feeling of dread that has me in it's grip.

Have a good one and may the peace that passes all understanding be with us today!

A mothers worst nightmare.

Raising 5 kids on my own was not an easy undertaking and came with a lot of lessons learned the hard way.  When I was very young Aunt Helen came to Nickerson and brought us kids all something.  This was her way of showing us she cared.  This one particular year, she paid my dues to the Brownies and bought me a Brownie dress and cap.  I was so proud, until I went to the first meeting and found a bunch of snobbish girls who did not care that I had the dress and cap, I was still from the wrong side of the tracks.  (This is a misnomer that I shall address at a future date.)



The girls were rude.  They were girls I went to school with and they were rude in school, so I do not know what I expected to change.  I never went back.  The dress, cap and pin were disposed of some where.  Mother did get the dues in cash.



Fast forward to many years later when I found myself newly divorced with 5 kids and several full and part time jobs.  Debbie was the oldest and must have been in the second grade or so when I enrolled her in the Brownies.  At the time I was just starting as Dinner Cook at the Red Carpet Restaurant  under the tutelage of  Bob Bailey.  My ex-sister in law, Rosie Seeger was my babysitter and it was summer.  Rosie lived in the south end and the restaurant was in the north end two miles away.



The Brownies first outing was a picnic on the Arkansas River in the southern part of Hutchinson.  A get acquainted sort of thing.  The leaders assured me that they would drop Debbie off at Rosies after the picnic, so off I went to work.  At 2:00 o’clock the phone rang and Rosie said Debbie had not been dropped off as promised.  I called the leader.  She informed me that she thought I must have picked Debbie up as she was not seen after they came up from the river.  My heart dropped!  Then I became angry.



“You said you would drop her off at the sitter.!”

“Yes, but I thought you must have picked her up!”



Words were exchanged as to her mental state and the police were called.  Bob covered for me and I raced to Rosies.  As luck would have it, the policeman in charge of the investigation was Ronnie Moore, who had been a classmate of mine in school.  He assured me that everything would be done to find Debbie and I should just set tight and he would keep me up to date on what was going on.



This was back in the day when the telephone was hooked to the wall and if you were expecting a call you needed to be near the phone.  I waited at Rosies because it was closer to the place where she was last seen and the other kids were there.   I had plenty of time to envision Debbie falling in the river, or some man grabbing her, or being hit by a car.  Since I did not know where she was I sure did not know where she wasn’t!  I could envision all sorts of things and none of them were good.  Do you realize how slowly time passes when you are waiting with a life in the balance?  All I knew was  that Debbie was missing.



Ronnie was my rock through that ordeal and I do not think I ever properly thanked him, nor did I ever see him again. 



It was about 3:30 when the phone rang and Bob explained to me that Debbie had just walked into the back of the restaurant looking for me.  She had walked all the way from the Arkansas River through the south end of Hutch to 13^th and Main which was probably 2 miles to find her mother!  I guess it was a good thing that I had taken them to the restaurant several times when I went to make bread on Sundays.  Otherwise she would not have known where the restaurant was.  She had walked past Rosies street, past  fifth street where we lived and found the place where mommy should be.  It seems her experience with the Brownie division of the Girl Scouts was about as warm and fuzzy as my experience all those years ago.



There is one thing I have learned from motherhood over the years and that is this:  Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs I will ever have.  There is no rule book.  Hind sight is better than foresight.  And no two kids are alike.  The psychology that works for one is wasted on another.  I earned every gray hair in my head at the hands of my children.  And lastly, while it does not pay very good wages every little success; every little “I love you mom” and the card on Mother’s Day; all are priceless. 


It is what it is.