I am setting here looking at Chapter Two...The Ant Lion's Den, the novel I started almost 2 years ago when Sherman was first diagnosed. I had a good start on it, but at that time Sherman needed me more than the world needed another novel. So I put it on hold. Then he extracted a promise from me that I would write the story of Sherman and Lou had life been different. He outlined it for me and in the book, we met, fell in love and lived happily ever after. In real life he died shortly thereafter.
But a promise is a promise and I put the novel aside and began the perfect work of fiction and the world's greatest love story. I failed in my mission and ended up writing a true story where we did indeed fall in love and he did propose 10 days before he died on Friday the 13th. The book has been finished and forgotten now for over 8 months and I stare at the blank page of Chapter Two and my mind is a complete blank..I reread what I have written hoping something of the brilliance I felt when I started it will resurface, but nothing happens.
What I am thinking of is a scene in my mind from 50 years ago when Debbie was a wee tyke and I found an old typewriter at a rummage sale for $2.00. It was a small Royal and after I took the toothbrush and cleaned the letters and replaced the ribbon, it printed pretty legibly. But there I sat, staring at the pure white paper that waited for me to fill up up with all the thoughts in my brilliant mind. But it never happened. I spent the next 50 years waiting for my stellar mind to unleash a torrent of words that would make the world fall at my feet. But they never came. The old Royal gave way to a nice aqua typewriter in a case. That gave way to an electric, which was replaced by a word processor and that was traded for a computer. And I went through a string of computers and different word programs before I poured my heart and soul into Chapter One...Loose Ends. I was on a roll, but now I am back to staring at a blank sheet with a cursor blinking and calling me.
Someone told me I should unplug the phone, lock the door, turn off the ebay computer and concentrate and it will come. Well, that ain't happening now, is it? I do think I will take a nice long walk the next day that is decent. May go up to Beulah for that. Something about just me, God and the open sky above that inspires me. Maybe I will not finish Chapter Two...The Ant Lion's Den, or maybe I will. Maybe I will come up with something else. I do know that I love to write and it is a part of me that needs to be functioning. I know this blog is writing, but I mean something that I can build out of my mind that is not real, but seems that way. Know what I mean?
Just my thoughts tonight.
But a promise is a promise and I put the novel aside and began the perfect work of fiction and the world's greatest love story. I failed in my mission and ended up writing a true story where we did indeed fall in love and he did propose 10 days before he died on Friday the 13th. The book has been finished and forgotten now for over 8 months and I stare at the blank page of Chapter Two and my mind is a complete blank..I reread what I have written hoping something of the brilliance I felt when I started it will resurface, but nothing happens.
What I am thinking of is a scene in my mind from 50 years ago when Debbie was a wee tyke and I found an old typewriter at a rummage sale for $2.00. It was a small Royal and after I took the toothbrush and cleaned the letters and replaced the ribbon, it printed pretty legibly. But there I sat, staring at the pure white paper that waited for me to fill up up with all the thoughts in my brilliant mind. But it never happened. I spent the next 50 years waiting for my stellar mind to unleash a torrent of words that would make the world fall at my feet. But they never came. The old Royal gave way to a nice aqua typewriter in a case. That gave way to an electric, which was replaced by a word processor and that was traded for a computer. And I went through a string of computers and different word programs before I poured my heart and soul into Chapter One...Loose Ends. I was on a roll, but now I am back to staring at a blank sheet with a cursor blinking and calling me.
Someone told me I should unplug the phone, lock the door, turn off the ebay computer and concentrate and it will come. Well, that ain't happening now, is it? I do think I will take a nice long walk the next day that is decent. May go up to Beulah for that. Something about just me, God and the open sky above that inspires me. Maybe I will not finish Chapter Two...The Ant Lion's Den, or maybe I will. Maybe I will come up with something else. I do know that I love to write and it is a part of me that needs to be functioning. I know this blog is writing, but I mean something that I can build out of my mind that is not real, but seems that way. Know what I mean?
Just my thoughts tonight.
