Time to settle back into my mundane life.

The trip to Dallas is over and becoming a soft glow in my "been there, done that" memory.  The High Tea at the church is over and done.  The tea cups are clean and packed away down in the church basement.  I have bought "crumpet rings"  for the next endeavor.  First Church Preschool had graduation last night and I cooked 18 pounds of pasta for them.  All my company has departed and Patty is back in Lakin.  Last night I went to bed at 9:00 and did not turn over until 5:30 this morning.  Sadly the worlds smartest mouse is still alive and well in my kitchen.  Thank you Icarus!  Life is returning to mundane here on South Road, which means I must return to my blogging.  That is a chore I really look forward to and enjoy most of the time.

So welcome to my world, writers block!  Normally I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about something and it winds up being on my blog the next morning, but when life is too full, my writing takes a back seat.  I have not had an original thought that did not involve a scone, a pot of tea, or a room full of ladies in their finery for a few weeks.  A time or two I flashed on something, but it was quickly replaced by thoughts of a hot stove, a full oven and jars of lemon curd and clotted cream.

Life goes on.

This blog has suffered and The World is not My Home and my mossy little room over on that blog has really suffered.  I need to reread that so I can carry on where that one left off if I find my notes on that.  In the meantime, I did start the tiller yesterday and made a few passes in the garden spot.  The ground was too dry to do much good, so I watered and will try it again today.  Hopefully, I will wake up in the middle of the night thinking about where I left off and carry on from there.  I can only hope.  In the meantime, send me good thoughts and I will get something done today, even if it is wrong!

PEACE!

Yes a cat on my lap is rather a handicap!

This is Icarus.  She is setting on the chair beside the computer.  I keep it there for her.  It is her chair.  She like to set and watch me work.  But she soon becomes bored and wants to set on my lap.

Ever try to type with a cat on your lap?  It is not easy.  It can be done, but she does not like me to let my attention wander from her.

Life is boring for a cat whose sole goal in life is to spend time on me 24/7.  In bed it is my shoulder.  Nap time in the chair it is my lap.  Usually the only way to get her away from the keyboard is to print something at which time she has her paw firmly implanted in the place where the paper comes out.  

So very soon she is in the middle of the keyboard which makes life rather difficult for me since I can not see either the key board or the monitor.  I do pick her up and firmly place her back on her chair which solves nothing since she is like a boomerang and is right back on the keyboard on my lap.

 Right at the moment I do not know where she is.  That is scaring me!  But I am just going to type real fast and hope for the best.

Chapter One...The Ant Lion's Den

I am setting here looking at Chapter Two...The Ant Lion's Den,  the novel I started almost 2 years ago when Sherman was first diagnosed.  I had a good start on it, but at that time Sherman needed me more than the world needed another novel.  So I put it on hold.  Then he extracted a promise from me that I would write the story of Sherman and Lou had life been different.  He outlined it for me and in the book, we met, fell in love and lived happily ever after.  In real life he died shortly thereafter.
But a promise is a promise and I put the novel aside and began the perfect work of fiction and the world's greatest love story.  I failed in my mission and ended up writing a true story where we did indeed fall in love and he did propose 10 days before he died on Friday the 13th.  The book has been finished and forgotten now for over 8 months and I stare at the blank page of  Chapter Two and my mind is a complete blank..I reread what I have written hoping something of the brilliance I felt when I started it will resurface, but nothing happens.
What I am thinking of is a scene in my mind from 50 years ago when Debbie was a wee tyke and I found an old typewriter at a rummage sale for $2.00.  It was a small Royal and after I took the toothbrush and cleaned the letters and replaced the ribbon, it printed pretty legibly.  But there I sat, staring at the pure white paper that waited for me to fill up up with all the thoughts in my brilliant mind.   But it never happened.  I spent the next 50 years waiting for my stellar mind to unleash a torrent of words that would make the world fall at my feet.  But they never came.  The old Royal gave way to a nice aqua typewriter in a case.  That gave way to an electric, which was replaced by a word processor and that was traded for a computer.  And I went through a string of computers and different word programs before I poured my heart and soul into Chapter One...Loose Ends.  I was on a roll, but now I am back to staring at a blank sheet with a cursor blinking and calling me.
Someone told me I should unplug the phone, lock the door, turn off the ebay computer and concentrate and it will come.  Well, that ain't happening now, is it?  I do think I will take a nice long walk the next day that is decent.  May go up to Beulah for that.  Something about just me, God and the open sky above that inspires me.  Maybe I will not finish Chapter Two...The Ant Lion's Den, or maybe I will. Maybe I will come up with something else.  I do know that I love to write and it is a part of me that needs to be functioning.  I know this blog is writing, but I mean something that I can build out of my mind that is not real, but seems that way.  Know what I mean?
Just my thoughts tonight.

I have passed a milestone and it only inspired me to set another.

See, I have had over 30,000 reads on my blog!  To me it  is very exciting to know that at different points over the last several years 30,000 people have actually clicked on my site and hopefully read what I had written there. I do know that on occasions I have had a note from someone telling me "good job".  Got to tell you, that really makes my world light up.  I know my sister Mary is a regular reader or I should say listener since one of the girls reads it to her.  They say she smiles and laughs because she remembers the story I am telling, especially our early marriages and attempts at mothering our off spring.  Sister Dorothy just doesn't read that much and Sister Donna is pretty busy, but you will find me gearing my words to dear sister Mary.
I know I have my regular readers, my sporadic readers, a few land on my site by complete accident, some because they type in a "tag" that matches one of my tags.  For whatever reason you find yourself reading this blog, be sure I appreciate you dropping in and staying awhile.  Sign up over under the followers link and I promise that very soon I will write something worth reading.  I have had several new adventures this week, one of which scared me so bad I forgot I had a camera.  One broke my heart.  So stick around, this old lady is not done yet!

From Vista to Windows 8 and so to the nut house!

Oh, I am way to old for the leap I made today.  I went Sunday, as you read, and came home with a new computer.  I finally decided to pull it out and hook it up when the other one completely refused to get online today.  So first I made a carrot cake and then to the business.  Have you seen Windows 8?  That is the one that opens with all the apps on little cards and you just take your finger and throw the one you want to the forefront and the rest disappear.  And when you are done with that one you throw it out and pick another one.  Not me.
I decided to go the mouse route as opposed to buying a new monitor for $300.  So I kept jacking with it and missing my AOL and I do hate that Bing.  I like Google and IE.  After many hours, a sugar free Pecan Pie and lots of coffee I am setting here writing you on my blog which I just found and added to my AOL toolbar which I also found and installed much to MSN's chagrin.  I feel like a genius!
So that is it for this little update.  I look forward to being back in my little rut after Thanksgiving since the craft fairs are over. 
Right now I have to go down and hook up the old computer and find the notepad and get all the addresses that I have in there so I can find all the places I used to go to.  Going to be a long night!

A day in the life of a madwoman!!

5:15 AM Decide I might as well get up since I can't sleep anyway.
5:16 AM Turn on computer.
5:30 AM Get my first cup of coffee.
5:36 AM Breakfast consisting of 1/4 cup glucosomine for the joints, 2 Tablespoons flax seed for the inner workings, toast with 9 grains and 4 kinds of nuts for the carbs, butter cause I like it, 2 eggs for protein, and milk for the bones.
5:40 AM Into the bathroom for my first round of DMSO (Liniment) on the right hip and right knee. 
5:41 AM Brushing of the teeth (amist much gagging and such).
5:42 AM To the computer and boot up AOL.  (You may notice I skipped the one part in the bathroom about the relieving of myself and that would be because I was up half the night taking care of that little chore.  Seems my bladder works best when I am in a prone position!)
5:44 AM Open email and check for sales on eBay.  Print out paypal payments and then go to personal emails.  Two sentence answers to those.
5:54 AM Check the downstairs for anything I forgot to finish last night.
5:55 AM Crank up the wii exercise thingy.  Do the body test thing.  I have lost 3.5 pounds since yesterday and appear to be 48 years old according to the wii test.
6:05 AM Back to the computer to see if anyone read my blogs last night while I was sleeping.  Yes!
6:07 AM Take pictures and list one Anita Goodesign CD. Check to see how the other auction is doing and how much I now owe ebay for thier magnamously helping me in my endeavor.
6:40 AM Notice there is a bird dropping on the INSIDE of my window.  I do a cursory look on this level and find no feathers or other signs of a bird in distress.  No signs of that damn cat either.  I make a post it note for the lower part of the computer screen reminding myself that if I smell a strange odor in the next few days that there is no doubt a bird body somewhere.  I make a mental note to myself to kill that damn cat when I find it.
7:35 AM Wander out back to let out the geese and start the water in the tank so it will overflow and make them a puddle which they like.  While I am out there I fill the feeder and make a note that I need to go by Big R and buy three more bags on Tuesday.  It is cheaper on the second Tuesday, but I never seem to run out and God forbid I buy anything ahead.  Every time I have to wrestle those 50 bags of feed around I make a mental note to myself that I need to get married again.  First I will need to tear the post it note off the bottom of the microwave oven reminding me not to get married again.
8:37 AM Decide I have had way to much coffee this morning and I need to do a blog.  And now it may be done since I need to get in the shower and get ready for church. 

Thank heaven for church (I can grab a much needed nap!) as it is the one constant in my hectic little life.  When I get home, after meeting Ross and consulting with him about some electronics over on Howard, I am going to start sawing away at the apple tree out front.  Seems when I planted it I managed to plant it right over the sewer line and now it is running roots into the line and plugging it up. 
So there you have it in a nutshell.  My life may not be organized and it may not seem like much to you, but it is my life and I would not have it any other way!
************************************************************************
This is the novel I have for sale on Amazon.  Do not be confused by the title.  Chapter One simply means this is my first book.  There may never be another, or there may be many more.  I am very proud of this endeavor and guarantee you will enjoy the book in it's enirety.   Lou Mercer

From the back cover

Chapter One...Loose Ends
Lou Mercer

Meg Parker led a simple life.  She was a widow of three years and lived on a chicken farm at the foot of the mighty Rockie Mountains.  Life was good and her little store on eBay made her extra spending money.  But snow and wildlife were not the only things lurking in the forest above her house.  Nor did it stay in the forest for long.

Marshall Purcell came home a wounded veteran from vietnam.  He still had his dreams, but they were of an incestuous past that threatened to consume him.

When Meg and Marshall met it seemed an inconsequential meeting, but it changed both their lives forever.  And change is not always a good thing.

This is adult fiction at its best without all the sex.  Well, maybe just a little bit. 

About the author.  Lou Mercer was born in Nickerson, Kansas. She came to Pueblo, Colorado in 1977 and is now a product of the majestic Rockie Mountains

Merry Christmas to Icarus, apparently!

This is the fountain that Bret and Amanda gave me for Christmas.  It is battery operated and sets on the counter by the bathroom sink.  It has a few rocks scattered on the base.  At one time it had more then a few, but here is the deal...Icarus thinks that this is her personal water fountain.  When she pops up there on the counter, which can be any time day or night, I am expected to switch it on so she can lap the water.  Like this:

If I am not there quickly enough she will take her delicate little paw and slide a rock over to the side and on to the counter.  Then she will take that same little paw and whack it and send it flying across the room.  Some times she drops them in the sink and then tries to get them out of there.  That makes noise that gets my attention.  So my question here is whose Christmas present was this, mine or the cat's?

This is the busiest cat I have every seen.  Sometimes when I am in the kitchen I will feel eyes on me.  When I look up that cat is invariably hanging down over the top of one of the cupboards watching me.  She will stay in that position until I forget she is there and then drop down and land on the counter behind me.  That is always good for the old cardiovascular as well as cleanliness in the kitchen.

She reads book!

Helps me with my blog!

Has long talks with Daisy!

And naps with Elvira!

Early in the morning and early in the evening, I go out to do my chores.  I am, of course, accompanied by two dogs and a cat that thinks she is a dog.  Course lots of time I arrive at the fowl house to find her already waiting for me there.  She waits on top of it.  She does not seem too alarmed when I explain about the fox.  When we come back to the house she runs ahead as the dogs like to ding around.  She hides behind a bucket by the gate and leaps out at them as the come trotting by.  Never ceases to scare the dickens out of them. 

Night time will find her either sleeping on the other side of the bed, or setting in my window if the moon is bright.  Have no idea what she is looking at out there, but I do know I sure sleep better with the two dogs in their beds at the bottom of the bed and the cat over there sound asleep.  One consolation there is as long as she is there I am confident she is not out some where getting ready to bring me my breakfast of a mouse, centipede or some other of God's creatures to brighten my night time hours.!

Thanks to the Wiccan for giving me a cat that fits so well into my lifestyle!

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I am about to go to 10,000 readers.

I just checked to see how many readers I have on this blog and I see 9,999.  That does not mean there are that many people out there who are seperately signed up to read it.  That means my blog has been visited that many times since the inception.  I have about 30 people who read it on a regular basis though not every day, according to my stats.  Then there are those who pop in on occasion.  This is the first month I have had 1000 hits.
So this makes me happy. And happy at my house is good.  The kids are back from Grand Junction and today is moving day.  Hope this works out the way I have it planned.

The weight of the world equates to....nothing.

I remember when I was a kid I would see pictures of Atlas with the world on his shoulders.  Things like that stick with kids.  At that time I thought the world was very big and very heavy and the man that held the world was very strong.  I have since learned that such is not the case.

In the first place, there is no way a mere mortal could even get the world on his shoulders and if he did, where would he stand to hold it? I also remember my mother saying she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders.  I thought she must be  a very strong woman.  Funny how a kid's mind will work.

And now that I am older, I get it.  Or at least I think I do.  Usually I am a rather upbeat person and can handle what ever the world throws at me, but then there are times when the powers of the Universe conspire against me and the weight of the world begins to pile on my shoulders.  This also gives credence to another saying, "It never rains, but what it pours." 

My world was on it's axis and spinning right along yesterday afternoon until early evening.  At that time I got the phone call that we had lost a client.  This one was totally unexpected.  A young woman with a small son and a bright and shining future.  She was engaged and life was good.  Right up till that last moment.  Then I had a phone call about a problem involving ego's and power struggles that are always unsolvable and just take up time.  Little weight of the world on my shoulders, but not really bad at all.  Got my new blog up and running and feeling good.

Then came the bright part of my day when my computer lit up with my friend and confidant.  And from there it was all down hill.  Cyber space is not all it cracked up to be.  Things said in jest can not be interpurted as such in black and white.  Emails do not always end up where they were sent and in some cases may be who knows where.  Or maybe they are just ignored in favor of something better?

Suffice it to say when the downward spiral begins there is not an easy fix, so by bedtime I was rethinking this whole life thing.  It seems that life actually can be equated  to doing the Texas Two Step on the way to the grave.  You know, the old two steps forward and one step back?  And  if you turn around and look backwards you are just liable to back right into the open grave. 

My nights get very long when I try to solve the world's problems.  I tried putting all my thoughts in piles and labeling them.  Pile number one was things I could do nothing about.... Egypt, Mubarac, the weather, death of a client went in one pile.  Things I could do something about in another pile...problems at church,  burned out ballast in the kitchen light, hole in the dining room carpet, the new blog went in another pile.  Then came the insurmountable problem of misunderstanding with a friend.  Personal relationships have always been hard ones for me.  And the sad part is that they still are and sometimes I just walk away when I think I am right.  Does not mean I am right or wrong, only means that is how I deal with life when it is more than I can understand.

God grant me the power to accept the things I can not change,  change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.  or something like that.

SCAP is represented here at World AIDS Day.

Here is the Southern Colorado AIDS Project table, although in all honesty it is now known as Southern Colorado Health Network operating as SCAP or vice versa.  I forget.  When I started my volunteer work there more years ago than I like to admit it was SCAP and so that is how I will remember it and that is the name I will use because it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks.  Arf! Arf!

Starting with the back row we have John Mark Hild, minister at the Metropolitan Community Church here in our fair city.  Next is me and then my com padre, Aaron. Aaron is my buddy and makes me laugh like a loon!  Not often I find someone with a mind that works like mine!  See the back row all has on the Focus shirt.  We do that so we remember who we are.

On the front row on the left is the lovely Linda Lorraine, SCAP case manager and other things.  She is our stabilizing force and we love her.  She is always there when we need her, and she is there when we do not need her, and when we need her, but don't know we need her.  The woman is what you call "devoted".  That happens in this business.  Show up a few times and pretty soon you feel like you are needed!

And last but certainly not least is Bill Sharpton.  He works in the Colorado Springs office which is our boss.  I do not know exactly what his title is, but  do know he is single!  His sister was a very good friend of mine and I miss her so much.  Somewhere I have pictures of Marty and the big red turkey that liked to come visit at my house, especially when Marty was there.  That turkey loved that girl and tried to set on her lap and I have pictures of that little endeavour. 

OK, there you have us in all our glory.  Motley looking crew that we are!  Hey, we try!  If we could clone these four people here we could set this world on fire because these are some of the best Colorado has to offer and I am damn glad to be standing in the middle of the finest Colorado has to offer! 

It seems as I wind this down that I have been given a most rare opportunity to work side by side with some of the greatest people on this earth.  In all my years of bopping around with the SCAP crowd, the Pueblo Community Health Center, Pueblo Health Department, the Gay Community..........I am sorry!  The whole of Southern Colorado is tied together and I can not name names without missing some one or some place.  Just know if you are reading this, Lou Mercer loves everyone of you and I thank God every day that he put everyone of you in my path!

Together we are going to fight the good fight and since we are all winners, you know what that means!

I think I am a self centered ego maniac!

It has just come to my attention, through self induced introspection that I am indeed an ego maniac!  Introspection is defined as self examination of ones own emotional state and mental processes.  Ego is defined as ones own self.  And we all know what maniac means.  So by self definition I am just crazy about myself.  This is not to say I am egocentric.  The last guy I dated was a true egocentric, which is defined as one who is the center of everything.  That being said and all defined for the guy in Canada who keeps a dictionary handy to converse with me, I shall continue.  (And Hi to Fanty!)

A friend asked me what a blog was.   Now there is no dictionary entry for that, but if you go online you will see it is a combination of Web and Log.  It is defined as a  journal, or something that interests the author.  Now I envy the people who are actually showing their work, such as the one lady who can teach me to make a quilt in 8 easy steps, or the lady who makes the brownies, and especially the guy who does daily blogs and updates on Cuba.  Those pictures are to die for and I have gained a plethora (over abundance) of knowledge about the workings of the Cuban government as well as the people in the street. (Type in Malceon)

But then you come to my little blog which is not really a journal, nor a diary.  Some times I explain things that are dear to my heart, or cry over a love gone wrong, or show you something I made.  The point here is that there is no rhyme nor reason to what will so up on my site, and this is where I get the idea that I am perhaps a bit of an ego maniac.  I love to write my blogs, and I love to read them!  I even have a book printed every 3 months in case some body missed one!  This is a mark of someone who really likes themselves!  But I stop short of being and ego centric, because I am not the center of my universe.

I just want to share with you my thoughts while I have your attention and you can not get a word in edgewise.  So I shall keep hammering away and trying to tell you something new every day.  Like today you learned  two new words and some of you learned three.  I do not like to get too deep into anything, because then I actually have to think!  But right now, what I am thinking is this...I am doing something I love.  I am expressing myself and you are getting to know me better.  Sometimes that is all one of us needs!

Thanks for reading and tomorrow or Monday I will have a surprise for you!