I have been farther then I have left to go!

I woke up this morning thinking about how many family members, friends, and just acquaintances I have attended funerals or memorial services for.  Do not ask me for a number, because the figure would make both our minds reel   And this is not to discount the services I did not attend for one reason or another.  I guess this all started forming in my little mind last week when I was up on the mountain with a friend and he wanted me to see a water fall higher up the trail.  Little cars like mine only go so high on rocky roads so we had to walk a ways.  So off we started.

Pretty soon I was huffing and puffing like "the little engine that could" did in that book I used to read to the kids.  I thought we were probably almost to the top and turned around to look back at where the car was.  Hell!  I could still read the small print on my bumper sticker!  We were 7 minutes into our hike and I was pretty sure it was going to be a long day, but with him cheering me on and by sheer determination on my part I made it a few more yards.  I looked back at the car and back up at the mountain.  I knew who was going to win this one and it was not me!  I muttered something about being a little out of shape and the dear soul took pity on me.  He was not going to make me march all the way to the top of Mount Princeton or wherever we were. ( I think he knew who would be carrying my lifeless body back down and he was not really up to that task.)

He left me setting on a rock and came back very soon to tell me that there was a beautiful view right around the bend in the road.  Thank the Lord for small favors.  So we spent a little time enjoying the babbling brook and just communing with nature.  The glory of the mountains is the serenity and the closeness of God.  There is no need for conversation with the majesty of the beautiful Rocky Mountains surrounding you.  It is something I wish everyone in the world could enjoy for just a little while.  It is a peace that stays with me for a very long time when I come home.

So once more, with my feet firmly planted on the terra firma of my flatland home, I can access the situation that brought me to the realizations I face this morning. 
#1.  I am fat and out of shape.
#2.  I am, while I hate to use the term "old", definitely over the hill and picking up speed.
#3.  The beautiful vistas of my home state of Colorado may best be viewed from the passenger seat of an air conditioned car parked on one of the scenic overlooks the National Forest Service built for my enjoyment.
#4.  The rod and reel I bought when I got my fishing license (which is also another story) may just stay over there in the corner because I may not be agile enough to climb up and down the banks of any river where said fish may be located!

But once more I have digressed, but would you really expect anything less of me?  No!  And therein lies the beauty of why you continue to read these blogs!  You think I may actually someday say something worth repeating.

Peace to all of you and may the road that lies before you be one you are eager to travel!

Saturday afternoon activity at my house.

 Yesterday I decided I was hungry for Molasses Cookies.  So I proceeded to make a batch of cookie dough.  Having a lovely Kitchen Aid stand mixer sure makes my life easier.  Thank you, Cindy Kerr Darrow!  Molasses cookies have to set in the refrigerator for at least an hour so the flavors meld.

Now while I was making the dough, Elvira and Icarus were sleeping soundly in my chair.  They like to do that, you know.

Daisy much prefers to stretch out on her foam mattress .

 

You can see activity at my house has reached a brand new low.  

 Which did not last very long since the smoke detector decided to start beeping and I am really not sure which one of the 6 it was that was beeping at me.  As you know, life is never easy in my world.  The first challenge in this little chore was to find the ladder.  I have 9 foot ceilings which always helps.  After a trip to the tin shed and no luck, I made a trip to the garage with no luck.  So into the closet I went with no luck.  Second trip to all the usual places and there it was where it belonged in the tin shed.

So here I set on Sunday morning.  Some of them take AA and some take D and it seems that I bought a big supply of AAA which fit absolutely nothing.  So I shall give this up until after church when I will go to Sam's and buy battery's , hot dogs and buns, and whatever else I need. 

For the record I want to say my life is good!  The cookies were good!  It is just the batteries that are dead around here.

Peace!

Sad, Sad little dog!

It is apparent that my house is a flop house for all the animals.  Here you see Elvira who is on top of 2 pillows with her head down on the floor.  She appears to be defromed, but she is not.  She is just very damned lazy.

This shows Icarus up on the buffet and the visiting Woody on the bed down below.

Here is Icarus at her finest!

And Icarus and Daisy so tired they are sleeping on a bare, hard floor.  Where did I go wrong? 

I see people with animals all alert and protecting thier masters.  Not so around here.  The geese do occasionally honk, but even they can not be depended upon to rouse me in case of a crazed killer charging my property.  

Well, I guess they do hold the kids down!

And Daisy is good for a laugh!

Life is good.

Sure been hot here lately.

To be real honest, it has been hotter then hell!  My central air keeps the house just the right temperature, which started me to wondering what we did back in the days before air conditioning was an everyday necessity.  I do not remember us even having the luxury of a fan.  When we went to church there were little card board fans in the music racks.  Remember them?  Usually they had some sort of advertising printed on them.  Most often it was from the local mortuary. School started in September usually right after the Kansas State Fair left Hutchinson, Kansas headed for Oklahoma.  By then the summer had lost its grip and fall was near.  School let out in May when it was just starting to get hot, so we did not suffer much in school.

But what about at home?  There were windows on all sides of the house and they were open as far as the could open to get a cross ventilation.  It must have worked because I do no remember being overly hot, ever.  We played under the trees and we could always  sneak off and find a creek some where and dangle our feet in the water and hope an old snapping turtle did not come along.

I can remember momma having a scarf tied around her head to keep the sweat out of her eyes.  What I am neglecting to tell you is that back then we cooked on a wood stove in the kitchen, so we had the added heat of a fire in the stove when it was already hot enough to choke us.  Course I do not remember a lot of cooking going on except on Sundays.  I am not sure what we ate through the week, but we must have eaten something and I am sure mother cooked something.  You can not feed 8 people and not cook.  I do remember mother used to give us a "sugar teet" when we had sugar.  That was our idea of a real treat.  She took a small piece of fabric and put a spoonful of sugar in the center and then pulled up the edges and tied a cord around it.  We chewed on that and thought we really had something. It is amazing that back then I did not even know we were poor, but I look back now in sheer horror.  How did we survive?  Why did we even want to?  My mother had to be the strongest woman in the world to eke an existence for her family out of absolutely nothing.

What amazes me more than anything is that I set here in my air conditioned house with the television playing in the background and my car outside waiting to take me some where.  I have 2 freezers downstairs full of food, money in the bank, clothes in the closet and I think back to Nickerson, Kansas, as the good old days and thank God for giving me those memories.  I only remember being happy.  I do not remember being hot, or cold, or hungry, or lonely.  I have a very happy memory of a coat my mother made out of something she took apart.  It was a bedspread or something and it was a light aqua color.  Dolly Partin had her coat of many colors, but I had my coat of corduroy.  I do not remember much about any other clothes I had, but I am sure I had them.  We wore little dresses back then.  Even when we worked in the fields, we wore dresses.

Yep.  I do not care what anyone thinks, those were my good old days. They were the days when I did not have to worry about anything of anyone.   I have always deluded myself into thinking that it did not matter that we were poor, because everyone was poor, but  that is not true.  People were poor, yes, but we were dirt poor. Facing the reality of that has just taken place in the last few years.  Some times it makes me sad.  I wish I had told my mother what a wonderful job she did when she was here to tell, but I did not.  If I had been just half the woman my mother was I could have changed the world.

Life would be best lived in reverse.

Lou Mercer Words of Wisdom: School lunch

Lou Mercer Words of Wisdom: School lunch: I woke up in the middle of a dream this morning.  It might be more accurate to say "My nightmare woke me up!"  I dreamed it was t...

School lunch

I woke up in the middle of a dream this morning.  It might be more accurate to say "My nightmare woke me up!"  I dreamed it was the first day of school and I was trying to make a check out for school lunches.  I knew I had 5 kids and lunches were $3.29 each, but Patty would not eat meatloaf so I would need to pack her a lunch that day, whatever day that was.  Debbie wanted to take her lunch and she only ate mashed potatoes on home made bread.  Donna, Sam and Susie were happy just to eat.  I was out of cat food and the dogs were barking their heads off about some silly thing or another and I better get out of this bed or I was going to be late for work. I was very relieved to open my eyes and look up at my lavender ceiling and remember that my kids were grown and gone and I was alone here on my acre.  Well, not happy to be alone, but very happy to remember that I had raised my kids and they had raised theirs and school lunches were no longer a daily problem for me to face.  Maybe I was dreaming I was my mother.  God sends me those dreams a lot!

I remember growing up on Strong Street and Mother would be frustrated and she would say "I hope some day you get married and have a bunch of kids and they all behave just like you!"  In later years I was to tell her that the curse worked.  I had  5 kids, just like she did; 1 boy and 4 girls.  I had always thought I was such a sweet little thing growing up, but here were these 5 kids and they were the busiest kids I had ever seen.  What I had done growing up, was called survival and as I look back I guess they were doing the same.

We had run the dirt roads in our bare feet and our idea of fun was a clod fight.
My kids egged the neighbors house.

Jake decided one day to bring his 22 rifle and see how close he could come to the top of my head.
My kids took 10 month old Susie down to Cow Creek to baptize her one night before I got home from work.

I watched a Black Widow spider hatch babies behind the door of the chicken house.
My kids gave the cat a bath.

I smoked Catalpa beans.
They stole the neighbors flowers.

I used to run across the top of the pig sty's at the neighbors house and upset the old hogs.
Don't think the kids topped that one.

We used to spy on Hank Wingate when he milked his goat.
My kids watched Saturday morning cartoons.

Howard Fein used to make his false teeth jump out at me and scare the livin' pee wadding out of me.
My kids cleaned their room by shoving every thing under the bunk beds and pulling the top sheet down to the floor.

So, now these many years later I am still haunted by my mother's curse.  I wonder if I every cursed my kids like that and scarred them for life?  I must have because I had 5 kids on my own and they have produced 8 total.  I have 8 grand kids that sprang directly from my loins (This is not to count the step, adopted and foster) and my grandchildren have given me a total of ...OK, this is where I lose count.  I adopted a grandson who became my son who now has a son that is legally my  grandson, but if he were not my son, this would be my great grandson.  So when you ask me how many grand kids I have I will tell you 20 grand kids and a lot of great grand kids. And it is way to early in the day to start off confused when all I wanted to tell you was about the school lunches.

And there, dear people, is the reason I am screwed up like I am.  It is the curse my mother put on me all those years ago.  She did, before her death, apologize many times and I told her many times that it was quite alright because I have a good life and my kids survived my raising them.  Of course I sometimes hear them recounting the memories of growing up in Hutchinson and Garden City  and I wonder how they survived my raising them!

Sorry, kids, but momma did the best she could with the knowledge she had at that time.  Sam taught me that.

Good Morning World!

Just want to open my eyes and say that!  It is before 6:00 AM and I do not have the news on yet, although AOL news let me know that the world's oldest manatee turns 100.  How they know that beats hell out of me, but be sure it is way better news then I am going to get when I turn the silly television on and watch Hillary and Donald, both frothing at the mouth because the other one is a total asshole.  "Vote for me, because I am the lesser of the two evils!"  I ask you, is this how to run an election?

Oh, and over on the side lines we have the Bernie supporters who are not going to give up on Bernie because he will change the world.  I am sick of hearing it all and we are still 3 full months away from going into the voting booth, if we actually get to do that any more.  I forget the last time I drove over to Pleasantview and walked out with my little  "I voted" sticker.

Democratic, Republican, Libertarian, Independent and whoever else is running for the highest office in this land, you all need to know something up front.  I am not voting for the candidate that is put forth by whatever party simply because that is my party.  I am not voting for the one who has the latest dirt on the other candidate.  I am not voting   for the candidate who screams the loudest, uses the dirtiest words, or points a finger upward and declares, " I am running because I beleive in God and I will bring our country back to God!"  God did not nominate any of you.

I do not want to know what Hillary did in her emails, because all of them do the same thing.  I do not want to know that Trump's wife plagurized Michelle Obama or that he screwed people out of money.  What I want to know is did any of you read the constitution?  Did any of you study our history from the time we set foot on this shore and seen this country through the eyes of the immigrants in Ellis Island?  Do you know what Ellis Island is and what it represented to those people?  Do you understand that WE were the immigrants?  Do you know how many Indians we massacred to get to where we are today?

Did you study what the slaves, brought here in the bellies of ships owned by slave traders endured?  Did you study how they were auctioned off like so many cattle in public squares and sold to men owning big plantations that needed free labor?  Did you know that when babies were born they became the property of the "Massa"?  Did you study how many souls were lost in the Civil War on both sides of the battle? Did you know it was illegal for a slave to know how to read or write?

Do you remember John F. Kennedy?  Did you study the Civil Rights movement at all?

Do you know what the Stonewall Rebellion is about?

Does World Trade mean anything to you?

What is fracking?

What are GMO's.

Why do we pay property taxes?

Why is Black Hills Energy allowed to gouge people that are unable to pay?

What are we going to do about the homeless people that are seen daily on our streets?

Why is the pharmacuetical industry not checked on thier prices?

Why is medical care so high?

What about the pet population?

What about the illegal drugs that are killing our kids?

I could go on all day, but the bottom line is this...I do not give a rat's ass if Hillary spent her money on a dress from wherever and I am going to look at what her record actually is, not what the spin doctors tell me.  The state of Donald Trump's hair and whether or not he has ever been faithful to anything or anyone is none of my business.  Until we, as a people, stand up and demand decency from the highest leaders of the land  we might as well forget that there is an election coming up and set in our little pile of shit and stay comfortable.  As long as we stay in that pile it is warm, it is when we try to get out of it that we get cold and uncomfortable and realize what a stinking mess we are in today.

Debbie told me that.

Happiness is a BLT and a trip past Linger Longer Lane.

This is the Rye Café from the inside out!

And this is the menu

Here are a couple shots of the interior.  Real homey place

And a  look out the back door.

This is the BLT, or what is left of it that Nancy and I traveled to Rye specifically to eat.  Whoops!  That is a lie.  This is the muffin she ate after.  I did not take a picture of the BLT, but I can tell you this, it was wonderful.  Crisp Bacon, crisp lettuce, ripe tomatoes and just the right amount of Mayonnaise served on freshly baked slices of French Bread.  It was well worth the trip.

After we ate we drove around and checked out the scenery.  Rye sure has that.  And look at this sky.

And on our way down we saw this sign and I had to make a U-turn and go back and make sure I seen it correctly.  I would love to Linger Longer on Linger Longer Lane!

So take it from, an old bacon eater from way back, this is the place to go.  And if you get a chance see if you can find Linger Longer Lane.  It may very well be a figment of my imagination!

Barefeet and chicken poop.

When my daughter, Dona Marie, came to see me over Mother's Day, she gave me a pedicure.  I have always had rather pretty feet, or so I think.  She did a beautiful job and finished off with a very nice massage and pink polish on the nail part.  A very wonderful Mothers Day gift in my opinion and I do thank her for that.  Wish she lived with me!
I must confess that due to the development of a little problem called Morton's Neuroma, my second toe now has a tendency to want to point skyward.  Not only is this uncomfortable but it detracts from the beauty of my foot.  It also sometimes makes walking long distances a real challenge.  Nonetheless, it is what it is and until I can carve out a block of time when I do not need my foot,  I will live with the condition.  I suppose I can just cut a hole in the top of my shoe and let toe #2 poke out into the outside world, but I am not quite ready to go that route.  It would definitely be a conversation starter, or a very awkward moment when making new acquaintances.  I am missing the point here.
Fast backward to Nickerson, Kansas 65 years ago.  Plus or minus on that.  We lived on a dirt road without benefit of running water and bath night occurred on Saturday night.  Now since we were basically heathens running the streets and did not attend church, I do not know why Saturday night was special.  I do not remember if I have explained that bath situation to you or not, but I will touch on it briefly.  Bath time consisted of a round metal tub which mother filled with water heated on the stove.  Baby Dorothy was always first since she was little.  Then Mary followed by Donna and then me.  By this time the water was getting a little gray and had a scum on top which gave a whole new meaning to "bath."  I do not remember how, when or where the older kids took their baths, but I strongly suspect Jake was a river rat.  Josephine must have privacy because she had actual breasts! Mom and dad were always a mystery to me.
So back to the feet.  In the fall we all got a brand new pair of shoes for the first day of school.  There were 2 days a year that were sacred.  Every Sunday and the first day of school  Money was saved all year so when it came time momma would set down with dad and open the Sears and Roebuck catalog.  The middle of the catalog was where there was an outline of a foot and we each took a turn at standing on the outline while mother figured out our size.  Louella-size 4, Donna-size 3...you get the idea.  Then we were given a choice of color.  We could have brown or black.  My God!  I remember when saddle oxfords came into being and how bad I wanted a pair.  They were white with black or white with brown.  I might as well have wanted the moon.  Brown it was for me and brown for all the other kids so one did not feel privileged.  Now comes the part you are not going to believe. 
When the order was all filled out with size and color (brown) the total amount owed plus the postage was figured and the amount was carefully counted out, placed in an envelope and sealed.  The amount was written on the outside along with the name and address the shoes should be sent to when ready.  This money was placed inside the order blank which was placed in the envelope from the Sears and Roebuck catalog and mailed off to the head office.  There was never a question about whether it was safe to send money through the mail or not.  That was just how it was done.  Then we began the wait for our shoes to come.  It usually took 5-6 weeks and the day they arrived was like the second coming!  Our shoes were here!  Of course we were allowed to try them on, but we had to wash our feet first and be sure they were dry.  Then they were placed carefully under the bed to await the first day of school. 
I can recall how proud we were as we traipsed off to school in our new shoes.  And we wore those shoes until about the first of March.  By then our feet had grown enough that our shoes were getting tight.    At that point, Josephine went shoeless, and I stepped into her "hand me downs".  They were a little too big, but I tied them tight and they stayed on my feet pretty much.   My shoes were handed down to Donna, Donna's to Mary and you get the picture.  By summer we were all through with shoes and we ran barefoot every where we went. 
Did I tell you we had chickens running loose in the yard along with Muscovy Ducks?  Kansas is hot, humid and the soil in Nickerson was mostly dust.  I guess you would call it sandy.  Of course!  That is where they pick Sand Hill Plums by the bushel basket!  I can recall running my toes down into the sand  and thinking that this was surely heaven.  We ran barefooted across fields and through the cemetery and into Bull Creek.  Of course we ran through the chicken poop and the duck poop.  We were kids, that was what we did.  When bedtime came there was one rule and that was we HAD to wash our feet before we got into bed.  And we did.  There was a basin in the kitchen and momma made sure we went to bed with clean feet.  To this day, no matter where I am, or what I have been doing, my feet are going to be clean before I go to bed.  Usually I have socks on all day, but not always shoes, so my feet are not dirty, but unless I am dead tired my feet are going to get a quick rinse, just in case there might be a little dust or goose poop on them!  One can not be too careful you know.
When I write about my days of long ago I get very nostalgic.  I miss my momma and I guess I always will.  I miss the old home place although it is no longer there.  I guess what I miss most is that I had someone to take care of me and someone who had to love me.  When I was young all I wanted was to get older and get out on my own.  I wish I knew then what I know now!  I really think life would be much better lived in reverse.

Momma Goose has taken a new husband.

 You are getting the first look at Momma Goose's new mate.  We shall call him Momma's new husband.  No one was more surprised then me when I went out there this evening and found the 2 of them over by the Russian Olive tree.  Her late husband was such a debonair fellow that I thought he would be very hard to replace.  I have 2 Emiden ganders and they were both pretty short on feathers after the last breeding season, but this little guy must have sized up the situation and grew some feathers.  He knew if he was going to replace her late husband that he was going to have to do something and he did.  Damn I am proud of him.

Here he is following her back into the corner so they can look for bugs in the leaves back there.  Hard to believe that he was so scrounging looking yesterday!  Guess there is nothing like the love of a good female to bring out the best in any man.  This next picture cracks me up.

Here he is guarding her while she dings around.  He needs to know that this is how her last mate met his fate with the wily  fox.  But it looks like he might have a little back up there. 

That is his brother.  Maybe the two of them can keep her in one piece.

So for tonight there is peace out here on South Road and Momma Goose is snuggled down with her new mate.  Yes, there is a goose God up there somewhere.

RIP First Husband.

I have them eating out of my hand...well, drinking out of my hand.

This is momma goose.  She has been setting on rotten eggs ever since her husband was brutally killed May 16.  I know it only takes 27-28 days, but she seems to be happy doing it so I let her.  I pull weeds for her and take her fresh water several times a day.  When she does not want any more water she makes a sort of guttural sound and I do not press her.  She never hisses at me and is always glad to see me, so I just let her set on the eggs that will never hatch and are probably dried up by now.  At least I hope so.

This is sister goose.  I am not sure who her husband is.  I think it is the African Gray named Johnny that Bret helped out of his shell many years ago.  But in all fairness I do her hanging out with the big Chinese gander and the old African Gray.  Truth be known, I think she is a bit of a slut.  Goose slut.

She is always ready for fresh water, but unlike momma goose, she hisses at me.  I think she could inflict some pain because I see very sharp teeth in that beak of hers!  Oh, the other day I gave them watermelon and they really liked that.  Eats that right out of the hand, she does.  Guess I should get some more.  They are on sale at LaGrees.  I can eat the leftovers.

Now, I am not sure if her eggs are any good or not.  Guess time will tell.  She has about worn her eggs out moving them.  I think she is supposed to just turn them once a day, but she moved her whole  nest about 2 feet to the south.  Who am I to know?  I do know that something should happen in the next week.  If I do not hear peeping by the 7th of July I am going to be the big mean woman and rake up the straw in the goose house, sweep the floor and put new straw down.  That is going to tick them off I am sure, but I know momma goose will forgive me.  Sister may be another story!

Wish me luck!

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Liberal? Conservative? Or just plain mean?

Why is it that people do not hear what I say?  I try to be clear, but before  the words are out of my mouth they have that aghast look on their face and are pissed off because I advocate taking their guns away!  That seems to be a lot of people's biggest fear in the world today.  Not hunger.  Not health care.  Not animal cruelty and certainly not the fact that Monsanto is poisoning our food and they do not even have to tell us.

I made a statement like "I think if a person is over sedated with anti depression pills and on the FBI wanted list or under investigation, they should not be allowed to purchase an assault rifle without a waiting period."  Silly me!  That is not an assault rifle and I should know the difference between an assault rifle and an automatic rifle.  I do know this, call it what you will I am not going to believe for one minute you need one of those to hunt a rabbit!  Nor do you need one to protect your home from the dreaded intruder.  If you set around every night with one of those on your lap waiting for Mr. Bad Guy to kick in your door, you have a real problem and all the fire power in the world is not going to save you.  Or maybe you have friends that you might want to take a closer look at.

I am a Liberal.  I have always been a Liberal and I am pretty sure that when my time comes I will die a Liberal.  I am also pretty sure my funeral will be pretty well attended by other Liberals as well as Conservatives, Gays, Blacks, Chicanos, a few Indians, animal lovers, Illegal Immigrants, Catholics, Protestants and if I am real lucky, Westboro Baptist Church will send protesters!

I realize you have every right to your gun and I think you should have it.  You need it.  You need it as part of the well regulated Militia  that this country needs to survive.  And I am sure you need lots of guns.  You can only shoot one at a time, but be sure you keep all of them.  I sure do not want any of them.  I will defend your right to carry one also, but know this, if you are behind me in the line at the grocery store with your gun under your shirt and a "bad guy" walks in with his AR-15 or whatever intent on shooting up the store, please step out of line before you pull your gun to save me because I do not want to be caught in the crossfire.

 I am sure my God has a plan for me and when it is my time, he will let me know and I sincerely hope that when my time comes I am in my little bed dreaming of a peaceful world where everyone has health care, a full belly at night, shade in the field, and a roof over their head.  I do not want to be displayed on the 6:00 o'clock news covered with blood and laying on a cold tile floor next to you with your gun in your hand.  Just grant me that!

I realize I have probably made enemies with this missive, but so be it.  I respect your right to have what ever firearms you want in your personal space, please respect my right to think thier should be some sort of laws in place to protect us from the crazies.  Kind of like saying, "You go to your church and I'll go to mine, but let's both walk along together."

Full text of my speech in case you missed it last night.

MY NAME IS LOU MERCER.  I STAND BEFORE YOU AS THE PROUD MOTHER OF A GAY SON.  I STAND BEFORE YOU AS THE PROUD SISTER OF A LESBIAN.  I STAND BEFORE YOU AS THE PROUD AUNT OF A GAY NIECE.  MY LEGION OF FRIENDS ARE GAY.AND I STAND PROUDLY TONIGHT AS ONE WHO HAS WORKED TIRELESSLY TO HAVE MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY ACCEPTED AND PROTECTED IN THIS GREAT COUNTRY OF OURS.

I WAS THERE TO DEFEAT AMENDMENT 2.  I WAS THERE TO SEE GAY MARRIAGE BECOME A REALITY.  I WAS THERE TO SEE GAY ADOPTIONS.  I SEE GAY REPRESENTATIVES  AND SENATORS AND GOVERNORS AND MAYORS AND MINISTERS.  I HAVE MARCHED IN GAY PRIDE PARADES , BUT TONIGHT I STAND BEFORE YOU AS A HUMAN BEING MOURNING THE LOSS OF MY FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS IN A SENSELESS KILLING.

HE KNEW NONE OF HIS VICTIMS.  MORE WILL COME OUT AS THEY INVESTIGATE THIS MURDER THAT IS NOW BEING KNOWN AS THE LARGEST LOSS OF LIFE IN A KILLING ON UNITED STATES SOIL BY A SINGLE GUNMAN.   I HAVE HEARD HE PLEDGED HIS LOYALTY TO ISIS WHICH MEANS THEY CAN TIE HIM TO THE MUSLIM COMMUNITY.

NO!  NO!  WE ARE NOT GOING TO ACCEPT THIS.  CALL IT WHAT IT IS….A HOMOPHOBIC ASSHOLE THAT WANTED TO KILL GAYS.  OUR COUNTRY IS IN A DOWNWARD SPIRAL BECAUSE THE LAWS WE WORKED SO HARD TO PUT INTO PLACE ARE BEING HELD UP AND RIDICULED BY DONALD TRUMP AND HIS FOLLOWERS.  HE IS BEING HELD UP BY SO CALLED CHRISTIANS THAT POINT OUT TO US DAY AFTER DAY THAT ACCORDING THE BIBLE, HOMOSEXUALITY IS A SIN.  DO THESE PEOPLE EVEN READ THE BIBLE?  I THINK NOT.

THE NEW TESTAMENT SET ASIDE ALL THE OLD LAWS SUCH AS BURNING A CALF ON THE ALTER, MARRYING YOUR BROTHERS WIDOW , AND GOD FORBID YOU EAT SHRIMP!  HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT EVEN DISCUSSED IN THE NEW TESTAMENT AND MOST IMPORTANTLY TO ME….JESUS CHRIST NEVER ADDRESSED THE SUBJECT.

SO LETS JUST CALL THIS WHAT IT IS, A BIGOTED PERSON WANTED TO SHOOT QUEERS AND HE DID IT! 

I AM HERE TONIGHT FOR ONLY ONE REASON AND THAT IS TO ASK US ALL TO COME TOGETHER AND REMEMBER STONEWALL.  REMEMBER WHEN THE POLICE RAIDED THE GAY CLUB AGAIN AND THE PATRONS SAID “NO MORE!”  WE HAVE COME A LONG WAYS WITH PEACEFUL RESISTANCE AND WE CAN NOT NOW BOW DOWN AND GO BACK IN THE CLOSET   WE ARE OUT!  WE ARE PROUD!  AND WE ARE NOT GOING TO BACK DOWN FROM THIS ADVERSITY. 

WE ARE IN AN ELECTION YEAR AND WE NEED TO VOTE AND WE NEED TO VOTE WISELY.  RESEARCH YOUR CANDIDATES AND PUT YOUR “X” WERE YOUR MOUTH IS.

GOD LOVES EVERYONE OF US JUST AS WE ARE.  UNFORTUNEATLY HE GAVE THE HUMAN RACE FREE WILL AND A LOT OF PEOPLE CHOOSE TO TRY TO IMPOSE THEIR FREE WILL ON US, BUT, HONEY, IT AIN’T HAPPENING ON OUR WATCH!!!

Do you remember when you first remember?

I have reached a new plateau in my morning thought process.  Usually I wake up and remember what day it is and then begin to remember what all I have planned for the day.  Well today was just a little different.  I woke up and tried to remember how far back I could actually remember.  I remember when Dorothy was born.  Mother had to stay in bed 10 days.  Seems like it was harvest and dad was pretty upset that he actually had to hire someone to drive the grain truck into town.  We lived on the Stroh place at that time.  That would have meant I was 5 years old.  Oh, I bet I was so cute!  Not sure because I do not ever remember anyone saying, "Oh, what a cute little girl!"  I remember them asking Momma, "Wow!  How many kids do you have?"  I was named after my Paternal Grandmother, who I never met.  Or at least, I do not remember if I did.

I remember an aunt and uncle coming for a visit and they were rich because they had a car!  I also remember when it came time for them to leave that the uncle sat at the steering wheel with the aunt in the passenger seat and dad "cranked" the motor to get it to fire.  I often wondered just how that worked if there was no one to turn the crank.  Did Auntie in her finery and feathery hat do it?  A mystery indeed.

I can vaguely remember the day my dad brought home a Shetland pony named Star.  That horse came out of the trailer kicking and I do not think he ever stopped.  I was terrified of that damned horse.  He was brown and white and I could see him watching me and I knew if I got close he would send me flying.  My dad had been in the Cavalry and had been bitten on his upper arm by a horse and carried the scar his entire life.  To this day I live in mortal terror that a horse will bite me if I get too close.  Ito was the one exception.

I do not remember being flogged by the geese when I wandered into thier pen.  Mother did.  I do not remember Jake whacking me on the head with a turnip, but she did.  I do remember when the cow died and dad had to pull it down to the pasture, cover it with some sort of fuel and light it on fire because there was an epidemic of anthrax and "you just never know and it is better to be safe then sorry."  The government told us that.

I remember Momma getting out the stamp books when she went to the store because the government only allowed us to buy so much sugar, gasoline and other thing that were "rationed".  I do not remember having a Christmas in the Stroh house, but we must have.  I remember my step brother, Gene Bartholomew coming for a visit once.  He came with someone in a fancy car that did not need cranked.  He was just out of the Army and he was very handsome and smelled very good.  He only stayed a little while and then I remember talk of "prison", "forgery", and a "damn long stretch ahead of him."  He remained in my memory and in my life for the next 10 years.  He wrote me from prison and I answered all his letters.  He wrote in Calligraphy which I guess made him a very good at forgery.  I saw him once when I was about 16.  He left to hitch hike to Oregon, was arrested in Nebraska for "vagrancy", given a ride to the outskirts of some little town and disappeared off the face of the earth.  Some loose ends we just never get to tie up.

I have to interject here about my father and how he ended up with kids we never knew.  My dad was much older then my Mother.  He had been married before and they had 5 children.  A son and daughter had died during the great depression leaving them with 3 sons.  William Eugene Bartholomew, Richard Bartholomew, and Earl Bartholomew.  For whatever reason his wife died.  He put the boys in an orphange because he could not care for them and had no family members that could help.  Richard and Earl were adopted.  Gene was not.  Richard and Gene were both in World War II and both were "shell shocked" when they got out.  Richard was more affected then Gene, but neither of them were ever productive members of society.  I do know Gene married and had a son.  As I recall the son's name was Billy.  I expect it was William Eugene Bartholomew.  He may have children, but who knows and I do not know how to find out.

Well, I got a little side tracked there.  Some other things I remember about the Stroh place years are good memories.  Like herding the old cow along the road so she could eat grass and then when it was time to bring her home I would grab her tail and she would run for the barn.  Of course I got in trouble because she would not "let her milk down" after that little jaunt.

I remember Donna poking her finger in a turtles mouth and the turtle would not let go and if dad cut the head off the turtle it still would not let go "until the sun goes down."  Poor Donna!

I remember the old yellow tomcat bringing a baby chicken to mother and I remember my horrified mother demanding Jake take that cat into the woods and kill it for killing her chicken.  Wonder how I slept that night?

I remember playing in a mud puddle by the house and how much fun it was when the water tried up and left little crunchy dried pieces of mud where it used to be.  Those were fun to walk on barefooted.

I remember mom holding me under her arm and washing my hair under the pump on the back porch.  Josephine pumped as fast as she could and I recall that water was so damn cold!

I remember "haircutting day"  when some lady would come and set us on a chair, put a bowl over my head and cut whatever was below the bowl off and that was a "bowl haircut."

I remember being in first grade and we surely lived there then, but I do not remember walking to school.  I remember walking to the store alone the first time from that house.

I remember Jake hanging out down on the river with a guy named "Blackie Joe" (?) and I remember the beautiful silver bracelet Jake gave me that he helped make, but I do not remember what I did with it.

I remember so much, but I do not remember what we ate.  I do not remember ever being cold.  I do not remember if we had furniture or an icebox, or what I wore for clothes.

I do remember being sad because we were leaving that house.  The saddest part is, I do not know where we lived before the Stroh place.  I do not know so much and the saddest part of all is there is no one I can ask.  Being the oldest sure sucks sometimes.

Springtime means Mulberrys on the ground

Back in Nickerson, I bet the Mulberry tree is getting ready to spew it's harvest of the deep purple fruit on the ground.  Catalpa Beans, Walking Stick Cactus and the Mulberry tree are forever ingrained in my memory.  When I can not sleep at night, I often go back in memory to the house at 709 Strong Street.  I guess it was safe then.  It was momma's job to meet all my needs.  There was always something to eat 2 or 3 times a day.  We had electricity, but we did not use it very often.  Mostly we used an oil lamp because we were afraid we would wear the electric wires out or burn out the bulbs.

We had a sign that went in the front window for the iceman.  We could get a 10 or 20 pound block by placing the sign so the amount we wanted appeared right side up to the man on the road.  He would take his tongs and grab the block and bring it inside and put it in our ice box.  And that was what we called it, "ice box".  Momma always left the ice man's money on top of the ice box.

The door was never locked and I am not sure we even had a key.  If we did it was a skeleton key and it would lock and unlock our door and every other door in town.  If we lost it we could get another at the hardware store.  About the only time we ever needed to "lock up" was when the wind blew the door open.  Oh, yeah, and when the Gypsy's were camped outside of town.  Gypsy's were always camping out side of town.  We never seen them,but word spread fast when they were there, because the came to steal the children.  If it wasn't the Gypsy's after us, there was a pack of wild dogs attacking the children.  I do not know how any of us survived what with the Gypsy's and wild dogs after us all the time and in all fairness I must say, I do not remember anyone ever losing a child to anything except measles or diphtheria or something like that.  Oh, there was the incident of a man backing over his child with the car.  But no Gypsy's.

There were 8 of us living in a five room house.  We heated in the winter with a wood stove in the front room and a wood cook stove in the kitchen.  The pump for water was out back and it was the highlight of our live when we finally got a pump inside!  It was one that did not need primed and we could get a drink of water anytime we wanted one.  It was attached to a big sink that drained out the back of the house and onto the ground.  This was the favorite gathering place for the Muscovy ducks.  They were nasty creatures, but they laid eggs and foraged for themselves so we kept them.  I had 4 of them when I had my flock and I got rid of them because they could fly and they would roost on my air conditioning unit.  Nasty birds.

The cactus was on the north side of the house towards the road.  It was wild and unattended and you did not go near it without shoes.  It's sole purpose in life was to make me miserable.  There were 2 Catalpa trees in the front by the road.  One was friendly and easy to climb.  I spent many hours in it's branches dreaming about the day I would be grown and able to leave this place.  The other one was full of small branches and no way could we climb it.  Both of them produced big long green beans which I always thought we should be able to eat, but no way.  I do not know if they were poison or not.  When they dried out we could smoke them.  Or so we thought.  I lit one once and forgot to blow out the flame before I sucked on it and pulled the fire into my mouth.  Not a very bright move on my part and one that no doubt scarred me for life in more ways than one!

On the north side of the house about midway to the currant bushes stood the Mulberry tree in all it's glory.  Mother always promised that if we would pick a pan of Mulberry's she would make us a Mulberry pie.  I do not remember ever getting a pie, but neither do I remember ever picking a pan full of Mulberrys either.  I do remember climbing into the tree and birds attacking me.  I remember walking barefoot through the berries on the ground.  I do remember purple feet and hands and a purple ring around my mouth and I do remember Josephine screaming at me and whacking me with the broom for "tracking that damned mess" into the house.  There is a Mulberry tree up on South Road that I see throwing it's fruit on the road and I am so tempted to stop and pick a handful, but I have not done that yet.  Maybe this year I will!

Maybe this year I will stop and pick a few and stand there and fly away to a time and place that will restore my soul and fill the empty place in my life.  Just maybe.

This is my helper and this is why I can not get anything done!

This is Icarus and Icarus helps me with everything I do.  Here you see that I am working on a mat for the homeless, but she thinks she can do a better job, so she just plants herself on the work and tells me to go do something else.

Now if you are wondering if Icarus is a boy or girl, she is a girl  When I got her I was dating a guy and he said "Let's name her Icarus!  That is a very good name."  I explained to him that Icarus was a boys name and I reminded him that he was the boy with wax wings that flew to close to the sun and his wings melted and he fell to earth.  He patiently pointed out to me that no one remembered that stuff and Icarus was a good name, so Icarus she became and while he is no longer with me, Icarus is.

And her she is thinking she might be able to grab that shuttle, but will have no idea what to do with it when she gets it.  She just wants to get it away from me!

Here she has a different perscpective from the other side of the loom.  She would like to be able to crawl across the harnesses, but she is pretty sure I move them with my feet and she can not control my hands and feet at the same time.

Well, there you go!  I am completely shut down at this point!  You do realize that this also occurs when I am on the computer, don't you?  Naps are out of the question because she like to set on my head when I kick back in the recliner.  And if I protest too much, she has been known to bite.  Where did I get the idea that I wanted a cat?  Oh, I remember, it was so keep the dogs company.  So here I set with an cat that thinks it is a dog, and dogs that tolerate her because she is a bitch.  

I do not know where she is right now and it is scaring me!  Usually when this happens I end up chasing a mouse around the kitchen.  Crap!  Better go find her.  Better go take care of my remaing geese.  Probably ought to just go to bed and call it a day.

New beginnings! Mats for the homeless.

YouTube is a real eye opener at times!  While surfing one day I typed in homeless and then mats and came up with my newest project.  Our church has toyed with all sorts of missions and we do a few.  We buy Christmas and Birthday gifts for every client in a series of group homes.  We do hygiene bags for Los Pobres as well as collect clothing, shoes and household goods all through the year.  We have a preschool which operates the same schedule as schools in the district.  But we needed more.  I drove by the soup kitchen down town one day and noted that the parking lot was full of men, women and children waiting for their daily meal.  That made me think....where do they go after they eat?  Most of the homeless have everything they own with them.  There or stashed back at....where?

Where do they spend the afternoon?  Where do they go when the sun goes down?  Where do they wake up in the morning?  What comforts do they have?  What could our church do to help the homeless?  I knew there were places in town that fed the homeless.  There were coat drives.  And of course there was the Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, but was that enough?  When people are homeless, whether by chance or choice, it is a 24 hour a day condition and it last 365 days a year.  What do the places that deal with this problem on a day to day basis need to keep functioning?  Oh, of course they need money, but what else?

I started researching on YouTube.  Amazing tool, YouTube.  I learned how to rebuild the back of my stool on YouTube.  I learned how to caulk the tub on YouTube and now I am learning how to help the homeless.  I do not know where they live, but I do know it is outside and they sleep on the ground.  YouTube taught me that sleeping mats for the homeless can be made out of plastic grocery bags and a crochet hook!  Not even an investment required, just the commitment of time and talent.

So the call went out for empty plastic carry bags.  They have to be straightened, flattened and cut into what turns out to be circles.  For this I relied on the ladies at church.  Most of them do not crochet so that was left to me.  These are then linked together and rolled into a ball.  Then the fun part of crocheting them into a mat 3' x 6'.  I must confess, by first mat took me 6 weeks to make and is not 3' x 6', but does seem to be about 4 foot square.  I took it to church and pastor Kevin blessed it.  Off I went to the Posada Homeless Center. 

Anne Stattleman and her sidekick Sal, were most happy with my little endeavor.  They now have a youth group which is homeless youth that hang out in the center and cope with being homeless.  A spark!  A spark!  My little pea brain took flight.  Young people need to learn a skill!  I have lots of crochet hooks!  So I went back the next morning in search of the young  people who were going to be my project.  I would teach them to cut the bags, string the bags and crochet the bags!  But alas!  My plan was thwarted because they were not there!  One wandered in and he gave me direction!  I will meet with the whole group on Monday at 4:00.    We will make this a social event!  Yes, we will all work together for the common good!  I am excited!  Monday will be the christening, but I have lots of plans for these kids!

Our church is going to have an ice cream social on June 3 and I am going to invite all my little friends to come by for ice cream.  That should be fun, don't you think?  Our church wants to do some sort of neighborhood thing every month and Posada is in our neighborhood so I can see all kinds of things going on here.

In the meantime, I have devised a plan whereby I can weave one of these mats in two days.  This is the first one.  It is way too thin though.  This was woven with hemp thread as the warp, but I have an new plan.

If I can make the warp out to the same thing as the body, it will be thicker and more durable.  So I am working on that.  I will teach the kids to crochet, thus freeing me up to build a warp out of plarn which is the word for plastic that is made into yarn.  PL arn.  Get it?

So tomorrow this one goes to Kevin to be blessed and then to Anne and Sal to give to someone.  By this time next week we should be in full production.  I will keep you posted.  Tomorrow or Monday I will be blogging about my new helper down on the loom.  Her name is Icarus and here is but a screen shot of how she helps me.  Stay tuned.

                                        

This is momma goose.

This is momma goose.  It must have been about 15 years ago when we brought home 3 African Grays for Bret because he wanted geese.  We had 37 ducks but that was not enough.  Years passed as years do and we gained more geese and the fox ate most of the ducks.  The 2 ganders died of one thing or another, but momma goose remained.  My flock had dwindled from 15 down to nine.  For the last 7 years momma goose and the handsome Emiden with the bent neck were inseparable.  Every year they built a nest and laid eggs and I stole them.  Birth control, you know.

He was always so protective of her.  She would go off chasing a weed and he would keep a very close eye out so nothing bothered her.  These two never hung with the other 7.  They were renegades and happy in their little world. 

When the house next door came up empty I saw the perfect opportunity to put my geese in the back field so they could eat weeds.  I had not seen a fox in the area for several years so I thought it was safe.  This afternoon when I went out back to check on them I saw momma goose standing in a puddle of water I had run for them.  She was all alone and she acted like her foot was hurt.  I knew something was wrong when I did not see her mate.  I looked all around and then went to the empty field.  Half way up the fence line I saw feathers.  In the corner I found his headless body. 

It did not take me long to find the den in a pile of brush in the middle of the field.  He lept out and ran across the neighboring field headed for God only knows where.  I went back to my yard and momma goose met me.  I picked her up and carried her to the goose. house.  It was not hard to figure out what happened.  She was chasing a fresh green weed and he was guarding her.  The red fox jumped out and grabbed her leg and he attacked the fox.  He gave his life for her.

Tonight my heart is broken.  Life was so simple this morning, but now my heart cries for my little momma goose who lost her husband.  Sort of ironic the way love works, isn't it?  Treasure what you have while you have it because it always ends up this way.

To pee or not to pee; that is the question!

I can not believe our leaders!!!   They would have Caitlyn Jenner who was Bruce Jenner in the men's room and Chastity Bono who is now Chaz Bono in the women's room.  Have they actually thought that through?  I am sorry, while the wise men and women in Washington argue about who should pee where, the young people are being interviewed on television and it does not appear to be a problem with them!  Could the powers that be possibly just shut the bleep up and let them handle it?

I ask you, when you, as a born man or woman, go into a restroom is the paramount thought in your mind just exactly whether that effeminate looking man over there is a "born man" or did he have an alteration or is he indeed a woman thinking she is a man.  I have never given second thoughts to whether I might have led a better life had I been born a man, but that is because I am happy as a woman.  I am a mother and was a wife.  I am fulfilled in the female role.  But what if I wasn't?

As far back as time there have been men and women who functioned in a role that was not on their birth certificate.  Indians had "two spirits".  In school we had tomboys.  It was accepted as a fact of life.  We all got along and now this is all called into question because someone wants to pee!  Oh, for crying out loud, get over it.  In this great country of ours and despite what the presidential candidates say, it is a great country.  Look around at the depths to which we, through our "leaders" have sunk!

We are going to build a wall to keep the damned Mexicans out. 
We are going to destroy ISIS. 
We are going to make sure wages are not raised for fast food workers because we are afraid a Big Mac may go up a nickel.
We are going to repeal health care because we have health care at work and we do not care about your health care because you might want your policy to offer birth control. 
We definitely want birth control because we do not want you on welfare.
We are so worried about who pees where that we are forgetting about you wanting to take our guns and we need them in case someone wants to pee in the bathroom with the sign that says you have to be born that sex to pee in there.
And the list goes on and on. 

Give me a friggin' break.  Did you ever hear your mother say "Mind your own damn business.?"  Does it really affect your life?  You want to protect your children who are more broad minded and understanding then you ever were or will ever be?  Try this with your children.  Listen to them.  Listen to what upsets them.  They talk about the future and the environment.  They talk about world order.  Teach them compassion.  Teach them to feed the hungry and clothe the poor.  Teach them that their word is their bond. 

Stop tilting at windmills and fearing the shadows that do not exist.  Research the heroine problem the kids have because they are being taught at home that they are better than someone else.  Why do kids hang out in gangs?  Acceptance.  Teach them acceptance at home and they will spread acceptance across the globe.

And since our country was built on religious freedom, talk to them about a man named Jesus!

All I can say, America, is be very careful what you wish for because you just might get it.

OK, Ito, this is our last time.

This was the day Ito would leave me.  I got him a very big carrot at the produce stand.  It was very orange and very fresh!

Look at the little fellow.  He knows I have this for him.

 He learned early how to hold up his left hoof when he is saying please.  He can't talk, you know.

Yes, you little shit.  I am going to miss you , but I told your new owners about how much you like carrots and how you can say please.  And how lonely I will be.

I started this post 2 weeks ago.  And sure enough a big horse trailer pulled into the yard.  A woman who sure appeared to know what horses were all about strolled over and slipped a halter n my Ito.  She led him into the trailer and closed the door.  He managed to look my way and paw the floor of the trailer several times before the truck roared to life and the trailer pulled down the drive and out of sight.   It was over.  I have no idea where he went, but I am sure I will never see him again.  I have to think he will have some one to ride him and  feed him carrots and rub his nose.  I sure hope he does not miss me like I miss him.

Such is the life of a horse.