A mothers worst nightmare.

Raising 5 kids on my own was not an easy undertaking and came with a lot of lessons learned the hard way.  When I was very young Aunt Helen came to Nickerson and brought us kids all something.  This was her way of showing us she cared.  This one particular year, she paid my dues to the Brownies and bought me a Brownie dress and cap.  I was so proud, until I went to the first meeting and found a bunch of snobbish girls who did not care that I had the dress and cap, I was still from the wrong side of the tracks.  (This is a misnomer that I shall address at a future date.)



The girls were rude.  They were girls I went to school with and they were rude in school, so I do not know what I expected to change.  I never went back.  The dress, cap and pin were disposed of some where.  Mother did get the dues in cash.



Fast forward to many years later when I found myself newly divorced with 5 kids and several full and part time jobs.  Debbie was the oldest and must have been in the second grade or so when I enrolled her in the Brownies.  At the time I was just starting as Dinner Cook at the Red Carpet Restaurant  under the tutelage of  Bob Bailey.  My ex-sister in law, Rosie Seeger was my babysitter and it was summer.  Rosie lived in the south end and the restaurant was in the north end two miles away.



The Brownies first outing was a picnic on the Arkansas River in the southern part of Hutchinson.  A get acquainted sort of thing.  The leaders assured me that they would drop Debbie off at Rosies after the picnic, so off I went to work.  At 2:00 o’clock the phone rang and Rosie said Debbie had not been dropped off as promised.  I called the leader.  She informed me that she thought I must have picked Debbie up as she was not seen after they came up from the river.  My heart dropped!  Then I became angry.



“You said you would drop her off at the sitter.!”

“Yes, but I thought you must have picked her up!”



Words were exchanged as to her mental state and the police were called.  Bob covered for me and I raced to Rosies.  As luck would have it, the policeman in charge of the investigation was Ronnie Moore, who had been a classmate of mine in school.  He assured me that everything would be done to find Debbie and I should just set tight and he would keep me up to date on what was going on.



This was back in the day when the telephone was hooked to the wall and if you were expecting a call you needed to be near the phone.  I waited at Rosies because it was closer to the place where she was last seen and the other kids were there.   I had plenty of time to envision Debbie falling in the river, or some man grabbing her, or being hit by a car.  Since I did not know where she was I sure did not know where she wasn’t!  I could envision all sorts of things and none of them were good.  Do you realize how slowly time passes when you are waiting with a life in the balance?  All I knew was  that Debbie was missing.



Ronnie was my rock through that ordeal and I do not think I ever properly thanked him, nor did I ever see him again. 



It was about 3:30 when the phone rang and Bob explained to me that Debbie had just walked into the back of the restaurant looking for me.  She had walked all the way from the Arkansas River through the south end of Hutch to 13^th and Main which was probably 2 miles to find her mother!  I guess it was a good thing that I had taken them to the restaurant several times when I went to make bread on Sundays.  Otherwise she would not have known where the restaurant was.  She had walked past Rosies street, past  fifth street where we lived and found the place where mommy should be.  It seems her experience with the Brownie division of the Girl Scouts was about as warm and fuzzy as my experience all those years ago.



There is one thing I have learned from motherhood over the years and that is this:  Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs I will ever have.  There is no rule book.  Hind sight is better than foresight.  And no two kids are alike.  The psychology that works for one is wasted on another.  I earned every gray hair in my head at the hands of my children.  And lastly, while it does not pay very good wages every little success; every little “I love you mom” and the card on Mother’s Day; all are priceless. 


It is what it is.

Lou Mercer Words of Wisdom: Today is Tuesday, February 18.

Lou Mercer Words of Wisdom: Today is Tuesday, February 18.: It is the day before my oldest daughters birthday.  She will be 58 years old tomorrow and like me, does not care who knows her age because ...

Today is Tuesday, February 18.

It is the day before my oldest daughters birthday.  She will be 58 years old tomorrow and like me, does not care who knows her age because it is just a number.  I was 20 years old when she was born.  Her dad was not at the hospital, because back in those days most men left such jobs to their wives.  He did check in later to see if it was a boy or a girl.  Of course the fact that she was a girl was a big disappointment to him because he wanted a son.  Sadly he would be disappointed 2 more times before I was "woman enough to have a son."  He got drunk to cover his disappointment, but he did let me name them.  Debra Louann, Patricia Lynn, Dona Marie.  No particular thought to their names, just a name that popped into my head.

Back to Debbie.  When I brought her home, I had no idea what I would do with her.  I did have a bassinette for her to sleep in, a pile of cloth diapers, a diaper pail to wash the diapers in when she pooped.  I had bottles and a can of formula.  Also several baby t-shirt, pajamas, and several blankets.  I had a supply of glass baby bottles with rings and caps.  The bottles had to be washed and then sterilized in a special pan along with the wrings and caps.  As I recall, they were filled with formula and then once more run through the cycle to sterilize the formula inside.  She had to be washed with a special soap and God only knows what else.  Being a mother back then was a full time job.  Even the diapers had to be washed separately with special soap.  There was no time to enjoy being a mother, because if a germ touched her she would be dead and it would be my fault!

Of course her father never touched her and he sure as hell never changed a diaper, nor did he watch while I did that because it made him sick.  The door was for walking away and he did that quite often.  But, as I look back, I was the lucky one.  He never felt her soft warm breathe on his cheek.  He never felt her tiny fingers curl around his thumb.  He never experienced her first smile while looking into her eyes.  And her first word was "Momma".  She was a little white haired angel that would grow to be the "leader" as oldest kids often do.  Patricia Lynn was born 19 months later, but more about that when her birthday comes. (I plan on doing a blog for each one.) ((The best laid plans of mice and men oft times go awry.))

Today Debbie lives in Eastern Kansas on a 40 acre farm with her husband, Hammer.  "Hammer" is not  his legal name, but it is what I call him.  Few people call him Carl.  She and Hammer are raising 3 grandchildren.  These kids were born to her son who for whatever reason, does not take care of them, but that is a whole 'nuther story.

I have always thought, looking back, that I did not do a very good job of raising my kids.  We all know that life is 20/20 looking back.  I can now see very clearly what I should have done, but I can not get the toothpaste back in that tube.  Today Debbie put it in language I can understand.   This may not be word for word, but along these lines.

We had been rehashing the unfairness of wages for women working back when we were working.  The men we worked beside made twice as much as we did and while I was raising 5 kids that never came into play.  I worked beside men that made twice what I made because "they have families to take care of".  When I noted that I had a family to take care of also, I was told that I should get married.  That was at the Holiday Inn.  She had worked for her father and was paid half of what the men were paid.  It was just how it was back then.

Debbie has always held the belief that "What does not kill you will make you strong."  Today she told me that I did a good job raising her and that her grit and determination were instilled in her by me.  Not her father, but me.  I taught by example.  I am very proud of her for many reasons.  She champions the underdog.  She feeds the stray cats.  She instills responsibility in her grandkids.  She holds them to a higher standard, because that is who she is.

So, Debbie, Happy Birthday tomorrow.  Keep up the good work.  Always remember that whatever you do, someone is watching and if no one bothers to tell you that you are a wonderful woman, Mother knows.  I love you.

Spring time back home in Kansas.

I wonder if I will ever be old enough that I do not miss Springtime in Kansas.  Oh, I love Spring here where I am at in eastern Colorado, but it is not the same.  When I had Bret back when he was smaller I used to plan trips back home over Spring Break.  Sadly those days are over, but not my missing the Lilacs, Spirea, Iris, and the cool spring rains that brought all that to fruition.  I would leave here as soon as school let out on Friday.  Saturday morning would find us headed East.  A short stop in Lakin and then on to Donna's house.

My sister, Donna, has a big house with a full basement and two bedrooms along with a bathroom and a shower.  So that was home for the week.  In the front yard is a tree that I forget what it is called, but it would be in full bloom preparatory to throwing down some sort of big seed covered with sharp thorns.  Hutchinson is very temperate most of the time and in the springtime it clothes itself in a floral cloak just for me!  Forsythia, Spirea, Lilac, Iris, Tulip trees, Catalpa, Redbud, Hyacinth, Maple.  Hutchinson is very humid and my skin thrives on it.  At least it does most of the time.

Donna and Karen own Skaets Steak Shop.  Skaets is Steaks spelled backwards and has been in our blood since I started working there when I was 17 years old.  I was the dishwasher at the time and when I moved back after having my kids and divorcing my husband, I waited tables.  Skaets sets right on the main entrance to the fairgrounds, so best not to go in the first week of September.

Needless to say, they have very good food.  This is son Tommy choking down a Moon Burger.  It is one of their specialties.  It is a cheeseburger with bacon.  Bacon makes everything taste better.

But we are not here for the food.  We are here for the scenery, the trip down memory lane, and to just leave Colorado behind for a week.  I usually go check out the 2 fishing holes I used to frequent.  Maybe next time I will climb up the levee and visit the Arkansas River where I used to take the kids wading.  We would stop at B & D Carry out and get a box of burgers which was 8 hamburgers and french fries, all for one dollar.  Probably was not the healthiest meal in town but it fed the 6 of us and we liked it.

I have only a few friends left in Hutchinson.  I do have a nephew and 2 nieces.  Oh, and 2 cousins, Darrell and Steven.  I think that is about it.

All this talk of Kansas is just making me homesick.  Rest assured, Colorado is my home now and I have no intentions of moving back there, but I do have fond memories of Hutchinson and Nickerson.  I married my first, second and third husbands in Hutchinson.  Four, five and six, were all Coloradans.  I owned my home in Hutch, but gave it back to my mother when I left.  It has now been torn down and an apartment complex covers the lot.   I have lived in 3 different houses in Pueblo. I have been in this house 37 years and figure I will just do the toes up thing here.  Maybe.  Lord only knows what I may run in to out there in the real world.  Have to be pretty special to make me look twice and poke out that ring finger, but I digress.

Time to get ready for church.  Sunday is the one day that I make no commitments and I think I will keep it that way.  Just sort of drift with the flow and take a long nap while watching the cooking shows.

Peace!

The black cows are back!

I guess Spring must be around the corner.  On my way into town yesterday I spotted the first calf.  Seems like they are a little late this year, but it is probably just that my memory is rather slipping.  I did see one little calf, but it was still laying in the field.  Soon there will be lots of the little fellows.  I would love to be able to delude myself into believing that maybe this year they will be allowed to stay together, but you and I both know better than that.  The best I can hope for is that some nice man will buy the calves and raise them to adulthood, but that is not happening.  Until some one proves me wrong, I will know that these calves are born for veal.

I gave up eating veal many years ago when I learned how it is made.  They take baby calves and put them in a very small space so they can not move.  Then they are fed nothing but milk.  This makes them very tender and it is the end result that matters, not how happy a baby calf's life is.  

This is from wikipedia, in case you think I am dreaming this up.  

Veal - Wikipedia

Jump to Cruelty to calves - Calves are slaughtered as early as 2-3 days old (at most 1 month old) yield meat carcasses weighing from to 9 to 27kg. Formula-fed ("Milk Fed", "Special Fed" or "white") veal. Calves are raised on a fortified milk formula diet plus solid feed. The majority of veal meat produced in the US are from milk-fed calves.

‎Definitions and types · ‎Culinary uses · ‎Production · ‎Animal welfare

I see stuff like this and I wonder why I am not a vegan.  I never thought about this until I researched veal.  My daughter raises cattle in Eastern Kansas and last year one of her cows gave birth and then died of milk fever leaving the calf to be bottle fed by my daughter until it was big enough to butcher.  I could not, personally eat anything that I had grown to love, but her reasoning is it makes her happy raising the little calf and then makes her happy again when the calf feeds her.  I guess this is why I have 8 geese out back that are so old they can hardly walk and I feed them every day.  I spend $32.00 a month on goose food. That is a total of $384 a year.  8 geese dressed out would produce 24 pounds of meat.  This is equal to $16.00 a pound.  I have had then 14 years so that makes one pound of goose meat cost $224.  

Beats hell out of me how I got on this tangent, but I am now a mathmetician!  I do know I just wanted to share with you about the little calves.  Farming is a hard life and I guess it takes a special breed to raise food to be eaten.  I am not cut from that pattern, so I will go scramble an egg for breakfast.  Years ago I did raise a couple pigs out back and that was some of the best pork I ever bit into.  I was hard hearted back then, I think.  Now I am old and I am a softie!  I do kill centipedes if they dare to come in the house.  I do not eat them.

Have a good day!

I might marry a goose!

Pueblo is fairly moderate so the Canadian Geese do not really migrate.  In the morning they fly east and in the evening they fly west.  Geese are very interesting creatures in that when feeding about one of every five geese is a "guard goose", meaning that while the flock feeds on fallen grain, the guard geese are alert to their surroundings.  If a dog were to come close, they would alert the flock and they would fly away.

Another interesting fact is that if one goose is injured in flight, two geese go down with the injured goose to stay with it until it is either dead or healed enough to fly.  At that point the tree geese will either join another flock or find their own flock.

The flock flies in a "V" formation.  The goose on the point of the "V" tires easily.  When it is tired it drops back to the rear of the formation and the goose behind the falling leader moves forward and takes its place.

These are my geese back in the days when they had babies.  My geese can not fly, but they behave much like the wild geese in the sense that the whole flock raises the babies.  If a cat came around when they were in the yard, the adults would surround the babies and hiss at the intruder.  It was always interesting to watch.  Sadly my geese are very old and while they still lay eggs they are not fertile.  I kind of miss the babies in the spring time.

I would like to go on record as saying my geese were very good parents, but they did let me touch and hold the young geese.  The brown geese in the picture are African Grays.  I am sure they are descended from the Canadian Geese.  Domesticated geese such as the African Grays, Chinese and Emidens can not fly.  It is the same with domesticated ducks.  The only domesticated duck that can fly, to my best knowledge is the Muscovy.  Muscovy Ducks are also warblers which means they talk.  Sounds like a bunch of kids twittering.

Well, it is getting late so I better bid you good night and wander off to bed.  My geese are all shut up in the goose house and safe from scary stuff so we can all sleep tonight knowing that the Canadian Geese out in the field are taking care of each other. 

Wish more people were as considerate of each other as the geese are!

Shades of Jim Jones

The following is my opinion and only my opinion.  I think I still have the right to state my opinion.  Maybe not.

How many years ago was it that Jim Jones and his 909 followers drank the Koolaid in Jonestown, Guyana?  I was still living on McClelland so it must have been in about 1978.  I recall that  when I told my kids about it they thought I had made it all up, just to scare them.  I was trying to instill in them the need to think for themselves and not just be  followers.  As I watched the Senate vote against  the impeachment of the Donald Trump, I could not help but remember Jonestown.  The Senate drank the Koolaid.  I refuse to do that.  Donald Trump is the very epitome of evil.  He is a bully.  He is a selfish narcissist. He set about destroying anything Obama did, simply because he is a racist.

My mother was a Republican.  I think my whole family was.  Kansas is Republican country and I think when I registered it was as a Republican.  After coming to Colorado, I registered Independent.  I am now Democrat.  I loved Obama, but I also loved the older George Bush.  I did not vote for Bill Clinton. but I did vote for Hillary because I felt evil coming from Trump.  I was right.

I do not know how any person in their right mind can condone what is going on at our borders with the children taken away for their parents.  Our school system is in shambles.  Medical costs and insurance continue to skyrocket.  I could go on with all the crap that this administration has caused, but I will just cut to the heart of the matter.

Trump has his whole family working in government.  That is nepotism.  He uses Marlargo  to pad his coffers while still not showing a tax return.  You try that!  While I set here in my house trying to keep warm and still pay the gas bill, he revels in his warmth and is surrounded by body guards that are paid with my money to keep him safe.

Life is not fair.  There are the haves and the have nots and we are the have nots.  I see the smirking face of Mitch McConnell and it makes me sick.  He said before the impeachment vote that the Republican Senators would NOT convict no matter what the evidence said.  Doesn't that tell you something?  I am proud of Nancy Pelosi for trying and I am proud of Mitt Romney for voting yes.  I am disappointed that the rest of the Republicans caved to a thug who calls himself our leader.  If this is the mark of a leader we are all in trouble.

So, rest assured, I will still do all I can to survive.  It is sad that he does not have to pay taxes and I set here with my social security in jeopardy.  These are my golden years.  These are the years I should be taking a cruise.  Instead I plan my grocery list with prudence and eat the cheaper foods because that is what I can afford.

In closing, I want to say if you are offended by this blog, hit the block button, or if on facebook, unfriend me.  I will not argue with you about right and wrong on this matter.  Keep it to yourself.  I do not need Trump followers telling me how good I have it.  Screw you!