Christmas Day 2021

 For those of you out there who worried that I would be sad on Christmas, you can put your worries to rest!  I had a very good Christmas! I went over to Ross Barnhart's and had lunch with him and his family.  Food was delicious because Rooster and Missy grow their own vegetables and cook from scratch.  I think Ross made the pork roast.  Robin and Terri made something very good as an appetizer, but I do not know what it is called.

This is Ben!  Ben belongs to Robin and Terri and is a very sweet boy.  He likes to play video games and you will hear more about that yellow thing that someone is playing with there a tad bit later.

This is Terri, Ben's mom.  She appears happy, but trust me, you better "duck" when she looks at you!

This is Robin, Ben's dad.  He is trying to look so innocent here, but do not let your guard down. He kind of loses something against the bright window, but is still a lovely person.  You can not see too well, but he is setting with a cat who is almost as old as Ben, his son.  Terri and Ben belong to Robin, Ross's brother.

This is Ross's other brother, Rooster!  Rooster is married to Missy and I did not get a picture of her for some reason.  Rooster appears very innocent, doesn't he?  He is not!!!   For the record, he "ducked" me many times!

Now for the record, this is a duck!  It is a rubber duck!  It is about 3 inches long and made of rubber.  You stick your finger in it's head, stretch it out and let it fly at your opponent.  Now for some reason all of them decided I was fair game!  Can you imagine that?  little innocent me! 

This is the host, Ross Barnhart and the smile that looks so innocent is acutally an evil snicker!

And this is what they did to me!  They all shot me with ducks and almost killed me!  But, I have to be honest.... I shot them back!! I am not sure if those are ducks or chickens, but they stretch out to be about a foot long and fly through the air and do not hurt a bit when they hit you.  Where do people come up with this stuff?!?  I am thinking an idle mind is the devils workshop!

I do have to admit, this was one of the best Christmases I have had in recent years!  I usually just go to church and then set home and be miserable, but not this year!  I must admit that this is also the first time I have ever shot a duck!  I did try to conduct myself with some sort of decorum so maybe they will invite me back again!  Sure hope so!

So now, Christmas is but a fond memory and we are fast approaching the New Year.  Christmas was so much fun that New Years Eve will surely be anti-climatic!  And since I am so slow in my blogging now days, I am going to go ahead and wish you all a very Happy New Year!  

  Remember that what does not kill you will make you strong.  May the new year bring you peace and harmony and may the Lord shine his face upon you. 

 

But most of all I wish you peace and love, because when it is all said and done we only get out of this life what we put into it.

Shalom!

Oh, the memories!!!!

 It is almost 5 AM and today is Christmas Eve.  I have my coffee and there was a time I would be enjoying (?) a cigarette.  Not any more.  I checked with my friend Cathy who quit the same day I did.  It has been 12 years!  My lungs are clear which amazes me since I smoked for 54 years.  God has sure been good to me in that area.  Well, let's face it, God has been good to me in every area of my life.

First he gave me the wisest mother that ever lived and definitely the one who was the best mother for me!  Momma always said that I thought she was the best because I never knew any different.  She might be right on that!  I do wonder if I had been born into money and prestige if I would be the same person I am today?  I wonder had my first husband been the one I stayed with my whole life, would I be the same person I am today?  

I can look at my kids and see shades of my mother in each and every one of them.  Debbie is the oldest and the most like me.  She even looks like me.  She spouts things mother would have said.  "What don't kill you will make you strong."  She is a pioneer woman to the core.  She lives with her husband in Eastern Kansas and is raising 3 grandkids on a 40 acre dryland farm.  Her husband, Hammer, bought her a new backhoe or something like that for her birthday or some such occasion.  Mine used to send me flowers!

Today is Christmas Eve.  Holidays are not my strong suite.  To be honest, I could function very well with out any holidays, but nobody asked me.  Tonight I will attend the Christmas Eve service at my church.  Christmas is the holiday that marks the birth of my saviour.  I will go alone and I will come home alone.  I will make oyster soup for supper because that is what Kenny and I did for years.  I guess I am a grinch!  So be it.

The end of the year is for me to look back and reflect on how things went and how I can improve and do better next year.  I spent New Years Eve of 2003 watching fireworks on Pikes Peak.  I set alone in the cafeteria in a hospital where my husband lay on life support.  While I do revel in the baby in the manger, I am a realist. I know how the story ends.

So, to my friends and family, Merry Christmas!  The babe in the manger is our hope for the future.  Take time to reflect on just what that babe did for us.  Our hope for the future and the remembrance of things past.  New Years is coming and we have a chance to make this next year different.

So when you think of the baby and the manger remember it is all part of a much grander scheme than we could even imagine.  It is the birthday of our saviour!

Welcome to my life, Jesus Christ! 

Happy Anniversary to me!

 40 years ago it was 15 degrees below zero.  I had been living in sin with Kenny Mercer for 1 year.  When we had been dating for a few weeks we decided we would get married.  I told him of my past marriages and that if we could live together for one year without me leaving I would marry him.  So began a life of sin!

That year went by very well with only a few bumps in the road.  We began a trucking business in and life was good.  On December 23, 1983 Kenny and Gene Baugh were putting a drive line in one of the old tandems.  It was 15 degrees below zero!  They went to Pueblo Brake and Clutch to pick the drive line up that had been repaired.  PB&C was closed!  They came home and Gene left.  Over a cup of coffee and a sandwich, Kenny looked at me and said, "Well, it has been a year.  Let's just go get this shittin' mess over with!"  So we did!

We picked up a license and found a retired minister in an assisted living place in Canon City.  He mumbled a few words, had his bed bound wife in the next room sign on the dotted line.  He stepped into the hall and found a befuddled old man to sign on the other line and we left the building as man and wife!  A quick stop at the donut shop for a cup of coffee and a chocolate doughnut and then home to Pueblo.  

Upon our arrival, we found a cheap bottle of wine in the middle of the table.  Apparently Gene had known what the plan was.  The next time Gene showed up we offered to share the wine with him in a celebratory drink.  He declined, saying "If I knew I was going to have to help drink it I would have gotten some good stuff!"

And so began my life as Mrs. Kenneth Mercer, a role I enjoyed until his death in 2003.  We fished, traveled, worked, learned to square dance, played cards, raised 2 of my kids and adopted a grandson.  He retired and I continued to work with my AIDS patients.  He baked cinnamon rolls and made carmel corn.  We joined a church and life was good.  

Do I miss him?  There is not a day that goes by that I do not see those twinkling, beautiful blue eyes.  He is the person who made me realize that I am a worthwhile human being and I should never sell myself short. I have learned to live alone.  He had always said that I should not give up when he was gone.  Life does not end for one just because it ends for the other.   I do date occasionally, but it never ends well. 

He was honest.  He was patient.  He was faithful.  He had an incredible sense of humor.  Trustworthy.  He believed in me.  

I guess mother said it all when she said "When you lose a husband, he immediately takes on sainthood.  Even if he is completely worthless, you will remember only the good in him."

Momma was right!  Momma was always right!

                                                            RIP Kenneth A Mercer  

                                                                    1931-2003

A high tea to remember!!!

 Today I went on an outing to end all outings!  My very dear friend Rebecca Wasil and her delightful husband, Ron, took Ross Barnhart and his step mom, Gail and myself to the Queen's Parlour Tearoom located in the Miramont Castle Museum in Manitou Springs.  Now I have been hosting a High Tea at our church for 7 years with the exclusion of the last 2 years due to Covid restrictions.  Hosting a high tea is one thing, but actually partaking of the ritual is a whole 'nother game!

We arrived early to partake of the ambience and believe me there was plenty of ambience to go around!  We were seated at our table which was set and everything was in it's proper place.  There were 5 of us and the table was set for 5.  

Our waiter's name was Daniel and he was most helpful since I could not pronounce most of the brands of tea.  About all I keep around here is black, green and a little stuff called Pekoe, what ever that is.  Here is Daniel and Leah, who was trying to make me look like I have horns, but she missed my head!  They were both lovely people and the place was busy so they had plenty to keep busy doing, but took time to make little old me feel special!

Daniel took this picture for us, I think.  Him or Leah.  Anyway they had to get on a chair to get this angle!  From left to right, Gail Barnhart, Lou Mercer, Ross Barnhart, Rebecca Wasil, and Ron Wasil.  I could not have hoped for a more congenial gathering of souls!

I am not sure what any of this stuff was, but it was damn good!  I can see that I am going to need to step my game up for the next high tea at First Congregational Church!  Wonder if I can con Leah and Daniel into serving?  Rather doubt it so I may have to train my servers a little better and I gotta say, the scone they fed me was out of this world.  Guess I better hone my cooking skills along with everything else!

All in all it was a wonderful day and I can not thank Rebecca and Ron enough for the experience.  And as tea companions, I could not have chosen anyone better than Gail and Ross!  Delightful light conversations and wonderful food.  Who could ask for anything more?

'Tis the season!

 

This is the tree.  It is a little taller than the television remote.  Now, all you nay sayers can relax.  I am ready for Christmas.  This time of year is not one of my best times.  I remember when I was in grade school and each class had a Christmas tree all decorated and festooned for the occasion.  At the end of the last day before Christmas break one of the little Bartholomew kids would get to take the tree home from their classroom.  It was a really big deal!  I remember dragging it home when I got it.  It had pieces of tinsel clinging to it's branches and it was wonderful!  I was so proud!  And momma added to it as she thanked me for bringing it because we surely would not have had one if not for me!  Needless to say she showered the same praise on whichever one of us brought the tree home.

And then I was grown up and I was the momma struggling to give my kids a Merry Christmas.  Some how it always happened.  The jobs I worked were never big on Christmas Bonuses, but I always seemed to manage.  The kid's dad was always big on Christmas so that helped.  I do recall borrowing money at the last minute one year at a very high interest rate and dashing to the stores with my friend Gibby Fields in tow to fill the Santa list.  Now be real here!  Have you ever gone shopping on Christmas eve?  That is akin to a bomb being tossed into the store and blowing all the toys out the window. 

 

But we survived and my kids grew up to teach their kids about Santa.  So when I married Kenny and had time on my hands I decided to make all the grandsons Dinosaurs for Christmas since that was the rage. (I thought!)  I think I made the girls Care Bears.  The kids were all thrilled until I handed the last one to the grandson who shall remain nameless for this tale.  I was especially proud of it because it was a Brontosaurs and as such was the biggest package.  His eyes lit up as he ripped into the package.  When he saw what it was, he threw it to the floor and burst into tears.  I was astounded and perplexed.  His father laughed and said, "Oh, he wanted a transformer!"

          I think that was the year, I quit believing in Santa Claus and started just putting money in                          envelopes.  I have now advanced to hiding in my house and hoping Christmas does not see me                here alone with my peas and porridge.  The kids are all grown and have kids and grandkids of                  their own along with the customs they have inherited mostly from their dad.  I am good with that.

          I will go to church on Christmas Eve because that is what it is all about when everything is said                and done.  The baby in the manger is what brings us all to the foot of the cross.  That is my                      Christmas cheer and to all my friends and acquaintances out there I wish you a very Merry                        Christmas and a Happy and prosperous New Year.  

           May the road rise to meet you and the wind be ever at your back.

           Peace!

   

 

 

 

One thing I have learned....

 The one thing I have learned and the hardest thing for me to do is to set back and let someone else take the lead and do something for me.  My years with hospice were so fulfilling because it all came naturally to me.  My job was to accept a client in or near their final journey.  Sometimes the job was just a one night or day, but several lasted longer and I became a "part of the family" and remained so for the duration of that person's journey.  So it was with Dorothy and later Doug.  Mona was one, as was  Ruby.  My latest was Annie. 

In all of these journeys I have dealt with families on a very close and personal level.  Early in the  relationships, I would set with the family member while the caregivers took time for other activities.  They knew someone that they could trust was with mother, father, or whoever.  When death is imminent the family sometimes just needs a "friend" to help them understand what the process entails.  While I am not an expert on death by any means I do know that death is inevitable, and no one is going to get out of this world alive.  

In most of my dealings I was able to establish a relationship with the client and we could talk about the hereafter.  Having never been there, I can only imagine what life on the other side of the veil could be like.  I am pretty sure it is a big step up from life on this side and I tried to relay that to them.  It is a fine line between preaching and visualizing a perfect world that is waiting for us.  

It is after the death that I, by virtue of having been there through the last days,  become a part of the family.  My presence seems to give people a connection to the loved one on the other side.  I can not explain it, but that is how it is.  I no longer operate in the capacity of "companion", but I still deal with families who remember.

So now to the crux of the matter.  I am no longer with hospice.  I do not volunteer at any place.  I rest on my laurels and that pretty much is about it.  Covid has changed all of our lives and it is quite possible that this is our new normal.  But, I have been invited out by my friends Rebecca and Ron for a high tea at Miramount Castle in Manitou.  And I am going!  And here is the one thing I have learned:

My first thought was "Oh, no!  I can not do that.  It will cost her a lot of money and time and I am not worth the effort."  But then I analyzed the situation.  Rebecca is a wonderful person as is her husband, Ron.  [She actually sent him out to scope out the fox problem in hopes there was something they could do.]  They are dear friends and as such want to do something nice and include me!  So..... Saturday I am being picked up by car and transported to a High Tea!  I am sure it will be lovely and you can bet I will be giving you a full report.

Sometimes I have to just remember, that there are people out there who care about me and want to show me.  It is called accepting from others.  It is an art I need to cultivate.

I am so excited by this new adventure that I am almost tempted to go buy a dress.  Key word there is almost!  

Stay tuned for a full report next week!

Competitive little waifs!

 Following instructions runs deep in my veins and I rather suspect I have passed it on to my children, but I did not know until tonight, just how deeply it was ingrained in my son.  I have been referred to as "anal retentive" a time or two.  He is a vegetarian, bordering on, if not completely vegan.  Tonight we were talking about a visit to his doctor in which he was instructed to collect all of his urine for a 24 hour period.  Now being the obedient patient, he did just that.  Needless to say he drinks a lot of water.  LOTS of water!  

To say the doctor was surprised at just how much urine he actually collected would be an understatement.  Apparently his doctor has a bit of an accent.  When Sam produced his specimen jars, the doctor exclaimed that this was a lot of urine for 24 hours and he must drink a lot of water!  When he was relaying the conversation to me he used the accent.  Of course I got to laughing.  The upshot of the whole conversation degenerated into a laugh fest and I asked him if he had hauled it in with his little red wagon.  I never did find out what the doctor learned from all that urine or what he was even looking for.  Apparently the little specimen bottles from days of yore are not used in this doctors office.

Sam and I have much the same sense of humor.  Our conversation had started because I want to sell a china cabinet and he thought I needed money. I explained that it was not full of what it was supposed to be full of and had now become a "catch all" so I wanted the space more than the piece of furniture.  When I finally got it across to him, he was good with that.  Little guy just worries about his mommy going around the bend!

I go once a year for my annual exam.  The doctor does not actually touch me.  He does wave the stethoscope at me  which is anti-climatic since he does not use it.  The nurse does take my blood pressure and it is always a tad bit low unless I have just made the dash across the parking garage and up three flights of stairs.  

Well this may be short as the cat is wanting to lay on the keyboard and if I do not yield to her wants she does tend to bite me and that hurts.  That and the fact that cats, by virtue of their  use of the litter box, are actually filthy little germ bombs, makes me give her a very wide berth!

So enjoy your day and remember, you can not sprinkle showers of happiness on other people without getting a few drops on yourself!