The Good Old Days!!!

I hear people talk about the good old days and while it is true that there is a lot about the good old days to envy and wish it were that way, this picture does not reflect that yearning. Here you see a picture of my five kids and myself. This was in the good old days when I was a single mother and worked 2 jobs to keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. This was the good old days when if a man did not want to pay child support he really did not need to. His reasoning was that I wanted the divorce and I had the kids so I should take care of them, after all, he now had nothing. Strange as it may seem, I understood his reasoning!

This picture must have been taken in 1971. Now, I know we are a rag tag lot, but we were a family and as a family we survived to adulthood. I would change a few things in this period of time if I could, but I can't so they will stay as they were lived. As with all families we each came away with our own perception of our growing up years. I came out of my growing up years completely different than my sisters, but more on that later.

I think the whole bunch of us were rebels and still are to a certain degree. Now, as I set here on New Years Eve, I would like to address this message to the 5 little kids above. For the areas where I failed you, forgive me. For the times we fished and had fun together, remember me. For the times you felt alone, you weren't. When I told you someday you would understand, you do. These were your good old days, so take away from them what you can and look to the future. Some times it helps to alter your perception a bit to make it a growing experience.

When you see your children, remember you were once children. When you see your grandchildren, remember you were once grandchildren. A family is something that is forever held together by a silver thread. When some of you look at the above picture you may see a picture that looks like it came from "The Grapes of Wrath", but let me tell you what I see and see if you can see it also.

Back row from left Patty, Debbie. Front row Dona, Sam, Susie and mother. I saved and cut corners to have this picture taken. Not easy in those times to have a family picture taken, but I wanted one for posterity. Patty and Dona are wearing dresses I made for them. Debbie is, as the oldest, leading the pack. Sam and Dona are the same age through the month of October (more about that later). Sam looks so angelic there and Susie seems a bit distracted.

I have my own memories of this time, but what everyone should know is this: I did the best I could with the knowledge and resources I had at that time. No way would I trade one of these little cherubs to make my life different. This is my good old days. They made me the woman I am today and this woman would like to say :

Happy New Year to all my babies, grandbabies and great grandbabies!!

If I quit smoking, you can quit smoking!!

I smoked from the time I was 16 years old until I was 67 years old. I imagine I quit over 600 times in my mind. I tried hypnosis, Chantix, Nicorette, Commit, Herbal rememdies, prayer, Colorado Quit Line, water, and about anything else that you can think of to try. Nothing helped. I did quit once for about 6 weeks, but then I got stressed and had one to relax. Six weeks down the crapper!

Then I had a very serious talk with myself. There is no one in this world that knows me like I know myself! "Self", I said "You are a woose. You have no will power, you are not honest and you are ruled by a damn cigarette that YOU go to the store and buy. Now make a list of things that is necessary to quit and just do it." Here is my list:

1. I buy these cancer sticks. I will quit buying them.
2. I have friends who smoke. I will not mooch.
3. The craving for a cigarette lasts 20 seconds. I will ram my finger in my eye for 20 seconds if necessary to pass the 20 seconds. What ever it takes.
4. I will never smoke again.

That is my list. Short and doable. I made this mental list in my mind early on the morning of March 1, 2009 when I did not want to go buy a pack of cigarettes. Today is December 28, 2009 and I am still smoke free. I do not ever see smoking in my future for any reason. Do not be misled; this has not been easy. There have been many times when I have almost rammed my finger in my eye and the habit of reaching for a cigarette is still second nature, but I do not do it. If I do not do it, I will never have to quit again.

Quitting smoking is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Only takes a few hours to have a baby, and that was hard. Burying a loved one is a life long ordeal. Having the dog put to sleep is hard. Life is full of hard things and most of them we do not want to keep doing over and over and I sure don't want to quit smoking again. So, if I never smoke again, I never have to quit again.

If I could think of one beneficial thing I get from smoking I might do it again, but I can't. It costs money I could use for other things. I smell like a smoke stack. I pollute my lungs. It makes me short of breathe. I have to do it outside so I get nothing done inside.

Granted, I do not now have money to roll it because I quit buying cigarettes. I still have to use deodorant, and the house still looks like Mickey Mouse and friends live here. But I can now jog a little ways down the road and riding the old bike is a lot easier. So as for me, I shall remain smoke free until further notice.

Merry Christmas Morning!

Here is the Christmas tree of a true grinch! Not really! I went to Penny's last night and had Mexican food. Pretty good stuff. Mexican Lasagne, Tamales, Green Chile, Chicken Enchiladas, Chicken Taquitoes, Salad, Avacado, Sour Cream, Tacos.. . .

Now today I will have toast for breakfast and make a veggie casserole to take to Jackie's at noon. Then over to Penny's to have lunch about 2. Lots of visiting. Sometime during the course of the day, I am going to get some weaving done. I am working on a blanket. Well actually I am working on two of them.

Got some corn for a special treat for the water fowl. They do not know what today is, but I do. They just like to eat every day. That and swim in the pond. What a life!

Anyway, Merry Christmas to you all out there. Or Happy Hanakuh, or what ever you celebrate this time of year. But remember...

Jesus is the reason for the season!

Happy Anniversary to me!!

I am going to pretend that today is December 23, 1983. It is very cold today, actually -15 degrees. Kenny and Gene Baugh are putting a drive line in the dump truck. Kenny Mercer is my boyfriend. Actually a little more than that, since we have been living together over a year. We have discussed marriage for awhile, but not got around to it yet.

When Kenny and Gene went to pick up the drive line at Pueblo Brake and Clutch they found it closed for, of all things, a Christmas Party. Gene went home and Kenny came in the house. It was then that I discovered how romantic that man could be! His exact words were "Let's go get this shittin' mess over with!" Now I ask you, what woman in her right mind could turn down a proposal like that?

So I got my new jeans on and my blue and white checkered cowboy shirt and away we went to Canon City, 30 miles up the road. Got the license and then needed some sort of preacher. As luck would have it we found one at the local assisted living facility. A resident minister, his bed ridden wife and another older lady walking down the hall with her walker. Having made short work of that little technicality we returned home, Mr. and Mrs. Kenneth Mercer, to find a very cheap bottle of wine left on our table by Gene Baugh, who knew our intentions.

Months later Gene would not drink it because if he knew he would have to drink it he would have got some good stuff. So we shared it with a son- in- law who first had to shake it up real good and then shoot the cork across the room at me.

Below you can see a few pictures of my Kenny and why this marriage worked. The first one is Kenny cracking peanuts and sharing with his dog, Polly. The next one is Kenny having a bowl of cereal with his bird, Rowdy. The third is Kenny sharing a laugh with his son-in-law (but not the one that shot me with the champagne cork!)

And of all the choices I have made in my life, this is the one I never ever at any time ever regretted. He had a phenomanal sense of humor, which is always necessary at my house. He was honest to a fault, dependable, caring, responsible and I could go on and on, but that would be gushing.

Suffice it to say, I found my soul mate in 1977 when I came to Colorado. Married my soul mate on December 23, 1983 and began life on another plane on January 30, 2003. Kenny is not "gone", nor will he ever be "gone". He just isn't here. Do I miss him? Of course. Do I need him? Of course. Will I survive? Of course.

That is my story and I'm sticking to it!

The Rainbow Bridge

The Rainbow Bridge

There is a place connecting Heaven and Earth.

It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors.

Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of

meadows, hills and valleys with lush green grass.

When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place.

There is always food and water and warm spring weather.

The old and frail animals are made young again.

They play all day with each other.

There is only one thing missing. They are not with their special

person who loved them on Earth.

So each day they run and play until the day comes when one

suddenly stops playing and looks up!

The nose twitches!The ears are up! The eyes are staring!

And this one runs from the group!

You have been seen, and when you and your special friend meet,

you take him or her in your arms and embrace.

Your face is kissed again and again and you look once more

into the eyes of your trusting pet.

Then you cross over the Rainbow Bridge together,

never again to be seperated.

I do not know who wrote this piece and it does not come with anything other than the words. And I think that is fitting, because any one who has ever lost a pet can feel this in their heart. While I have set her copying this, I have been remembering the pets I have lost. Some of them have already left the meadow with Kenny, but I know some will be waiting for me!

The only one I am not sure about is that Rowdy Bird. That was Kenny's Indian Ring Neck Blue Parrot. Rowdy died of lead poisoning a couple years after Kenny, but since he could fly I think Kenny probably went back to the meadow with Chile Dog and Sysnck and Rowdy flew on over. At least I think so.

My baby is eighteen today!

I shall wear this shirt today, because I have reached another milestone in my journey to the grave. Today the little Bret who I did not give birth to, but have none the less raised to adulthood, turns 18!
He has been very responsible pending this rite of manhood. He opened a checking account with his paycheck and put money in his savings. Gave me a check for what he owes me to date, plus January's car payment. He is planning on a cookout at the park in Pueblo West, and then will go to John's house and spend the night. He will go in to work about noon tomorrow. All sounds good on paper, huh?
He did come upstairs and kiss me on top of the head before going in to shower. At least he acknowledged that I am here. He does not want a cake. Monies should be paid on his car payment.
I had the talk with him about now that he is older and not so much under control of an adult that he is now entering the age of mutual respect and yada, yada. He has assured me that he will not be coming home covered with tatooes because he heard they hurt.
In all fairness, today is harder on me then I thought it would be and I think I now have a healthy respect for the "empty nesters" out there. While my fledgling has not flown the coop, he has for all intents and purposes shed the mantel of my baby and moved on to work on his own journey. About all I can do at this point is let the little fellow fly and hope he does not crash and burn on his way to the sun.

Happy Birthday Bret Mercer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is goose hunting season!

When I went out yesterday, I was surprised to hear shotguns in the distance and see a flock of geese arise off to the southeast. I could tell by the way they flew in different directions they were startled. They finally got it together and I tried to count as they went over. I do not know why I do that, but I like to see an even number. Guess that means they each have a mate.
Geese are amazing little creatures. They fly in a "v" formation and alternate leaders as the lead goose tires rather quickly. If something happens to a goose in flight, two geese will go down with it and stay with it until it either dies or is ready to travel on. People should be so considerate.

We live out in the county, so the hunting thing is fairly normal. I actually have 2 big holes in the back of my huge garage where a couple stray shots wound up. Now that the county is getting more populated it is not so bad, but we used to be afraid to walk out back in hunting season or target practice season.

The geese above are mine and they are not to worry. Anybody wants to shoot them has to come into my yard and there is a very good chance I would use a fence post over their head. But for the next few days I think I will hang out kind of close to the house until the hunters can get their barrell direction under control. While I realize that hunting has it's advantages in thinning the wild life, I still think it is sad. Of course the whole concept of death is sad, whether it be human or the birds that grace our sky!