Pick ME! Pick ME!

I would dearly love to blame this on some one else,  but I feel that in all honesty I must take full credit for this.  Granted I do have a lot on my mind here the past few days, but I would be remiss if I let this one go by unnoticed.  You will need all the facts.

I went to the doctor and had blood work done.  When it got back nursie dear (and you know who you are, don't you, Deb?) called to give me the  news that every thing is through the roof except my bank account.  Now granted, I was about to get around to starting to exercise pretty soon, but she informed me that I was way to late for that.  And she was most firm about it and now I know why they call her "Sarge".    So I commiserated with my buddy Tim and he gave me a tongue lashing.  "You have the treadmill all set up down stairs for crying out loud!  Just get on it and quit saying you do not have time!  Just do it!"

Well, the man is right.  So after he left I got to thinking.  I am good at multi tasking and this might work.  I had 3 seed catchers that just needed elastic in them and they would be ready to go.  So I clipped a bodkin on each end of the elastic and started it through the little opening.  That was going well and so I reached up and turned on the tread mill.  You know that safety device that hooks on your belt and if you fall it will turn the machine off?  Yeah, that inconveniently place little do hickey.  The seed catcher kept getting wrapped around that and shutting the tread mill down.  So I unhooked it from my waist and wrapped it around itself.  Then we started again, 

Well all was going real well at the slowest speed so I kicked it up a notch.  And I finished both sides of the first seed catcher.  Things were going so good I actually thought about calling Tim's wife and telling her how good I was doing at this multi tasking thing, but I decided to just finish the seed catchers first.  So I started number 2.  Then I kicked it up another notch.  I had been at this little job about 9 minutes when I dropped the bodkin.  Now what do we do when we drop something?  We pick it up.  Natural instinct dictates that.  Well, let me just tell you when I realized that was the wrong thing to do. 

It occured to me about the time my right leg hit the Oleandar tree and my left leg was sticking out of the Fig tree and my whole backside was being sanded by the sure grip coating on the treadmill which was now spinning freely at about 30 miles per hour.  That was also about the time I noticed my safety cord dangling harmlessly behind the speedometer.  As I drug my poor broken little body across the floor to jerk that loose I thanked my God in heaven and all his angels that I was alone and not being videotaped.

So here I am the next day.  I am not real sure that right leg isn't broken and it is a very funny color.  The left one is sore, but still intact.  My backside resembles chicken skin after it has been barbequed.  Some where in the melee I whacked my head on something and I am not sure I don't have a severe concussion, but for sure there is something loose up there.

So, the words of wisdom for today are this:  Leave that damn safety thing on your belt, do not try to multi task and for crying out loud if you drop something, just leave it alone.  I must confess that I could not get to sleep last night and I am not sure whether it was because of the bone poking through my skin or because I was laughing so hard at the sight that must have been!


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I miss you!

R.I.P

KENNETH ARNOLD MERCER

12/9/1931

1/30/2003

If love could have saved you, you would never have died.

Well, life suddenly makes no sense at all!

Got my insurance bill the other day and it rather ticked me off.  I carry full coverage, medical, towing, and all the good stuff.  The one I resent is the premium I pay for "Uninsured Motorist".  Excuse me.  What did I miss here?  Isn't there a law on the books that says I have to have car insurance to drive in Colorado?  I have to show my proof of insurance when I get a tag for my vehicle.  Was this a special law that was written for me alone? 
So I think the way this works is if I crash into someone,you can rest assured it will not be my fault because I am the most defensive driver in the whole world.  So if this happened in a perfect world my insurance would pay for his car and his would pay for mine, sort of a way to say, "Hey guys, accidents happen."  So if he did not have insurance, it would be fair if my insurance paid for my car.  This is in a perfect world.
But here I am with insurance on my car for me and an "Uninsured Motorist".   So I am assuming that the "Uninsured Motorist" premium I pay will kick in and pay to fix my car.  So, does my insurance now pay to fix his car?  I certainly hope not.  So if it does not, and it sure as hell better not, what does my insurance do?  Is this "Uninsured Motorist" something I pay just as a way of hedging a bet that I am the only one on the road out there with insurance?
Now, I had to have proof of insurance to get my tag. So how did he get his?  The state keeps better records than that.  If I forget to take my card when I renew my tag and I quite by accident get a kind clerk at the tag place, they will look on the computer and see that my insurance is indeed paid.  So can't they know when Joe Blow let his policy lapse and declare his tag illegal?
You know, they talk about inequality in taxes and all especially during the election, but is this fair?  I understand that I need insurance, but why do I need to buy insurance against the person who does not obey the law?  And if he should get a ticket for no insurance, who gets the money?  I paid the premium, but the judical system gets the money!  Fair play?  I think not.

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Tracey has peeked my interest.

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http://alongthemalecon.blogspot.com/

You got to read that blog today.  Now before you go, I must tell you there is a full frontal nude painting, so cover the kids eyes. 

Just thought this was a welcome diversion and I am with Tracey wondering just what this is all about.  I will probably never feel the same about orange slices again.

When is the news not the news?

Sorry, just got to vent here a minute.  I do not get the newspaper.  Why, you ask?  Because first of all there is very little content worth reading in it.  Then there is the price which is completely out of reason.  But I stopped after the last big snow storm.  See, I live on a back acre and that means I have a very long walk up to the paper box.  I like to read it first thing in the morning so that would mean I would need to make the walk in the dark in my jammies.  That might be alright, but I worry a lot about the dogs that  people in the county let out at night and hope they be good.  Rabid dogs, marauding bears and stuff like that make the walk something that is not going to happen.  And I tried the old trick of getting Monday morning's paper out of the box Monday afternoon and laying it on the front porch and then being so happy to see it there, grabbing it and my coffee and opening it at the table to read.
I would first read the date.  Hmmm, Monday.  Glance at the calendar and I have nothing planned.  Now you should know that getting old is an astounding process in that you can fool yourself real easy.  So in order to make a Tuesday morning appointment, I had to write it on the calendar on Monday.  Course then when someone told me it was Tuesday and I remembered tricking myself with the paper thing, they thought I was insane.  So I gave that up.
Back to the paper.  Remember right before Christmas we had back to back snow storms?  Well, that long driveway sure came in as something I was not going to travel down.  So when I went to get the paper, I found it thrown on top of a snow drift.  Same thing the next day.  The third day came the second snow and so the paper was delivered to the drift again only now it was a little further down the road.  Well, finally the road by the paper box was cleared, but the delivery boy still continued to deliver it to the ditch.  Then the street under the ditch.  So, I just gave up.
Deciding to watch the news on television I learned another lesson; all 4 channels have a different concept of news.  Some are Liberal, some are conservative, some favor Colorado Springs,  some favor Pueblo, and one in particular favors God.  So let me do the online thing.  I can now know what one of the actresses wore on the runway back in 2001.  And did you know Dolly had a boob job?  And there are some who are actually up on the news, but a couple give new meaning to the word "news".  The one scrolling across the top of the screen now is very tiny.  If I tilt my head just right and get it in the center line on my trifocals, I am good to go.
But here is the biggest news flash of all...As I get older I am realizing that my sources of news really do not matter.  I don't care how much skin Demi showed ten years ago.  I can not do anything about the Middle East situation and that smiling little chickadee on the television is not too worried about it either.  If someone dies, surely some one will tell me in time that I can attend the service.  I put an ad in the classifieds and got one call so I am sure that $37.95 was well invested.  The social page just shows me there were a lot of parties that I was not invited to.  The Tuesday morning sale papers for the grocery stores are wasted on me cause I have Legree's right up the road a piece. 
That leaves the editor's page and opinions of the readers and dear Kenny taught me that opinions are just like the end of my digestive tract, everyone has one.  So rather than read the news, I may decide one of these days to just go out and make it! 
All this because the paper man chose not to drive up my drive way and leave the paper in my yard.  After all I was only a customer for 29 years, but in this day and age loyalty means jack!

4 Year celebration of the shared ministry of First Congregational UCC and Christ Congregarional UCC in Pueblo, Colorado.

Today was a very special celebration honoring 4 years of a shared ministry between two churches who are separate but equal.  The slide show should convey the comradery that transpired today.  The first two years was spent working out all the logistics and then we hired the Reverend Jeannine Lamb, who has served both churches for two years this coming May.
The history of the United Churches of Christ here in Pueblo, Colorado is one best gone into at a later date.  First Church started in 1878 and in 1957 the more progressive Christ Church splintered off from the First Church.  Needless to say, all you need to know at this point is that we been around a very long time!
Pastor Lamb conducts two services every Sunday.  But this is about our celebration.  The mere fact that 4 years later we are still here and still in a committed realtionship while remaining completely seperate is enough to make me scratch my head, but here we are. 
Tom Rehling, the Conference Minister was an active participant in the festivities.  Retired Reverend Will Green and his wife Delores attended.  As did retired Reverend Bob Howard and his wife Evelyn.  My personal favorite was the retired Reverend Faye Gallegos who was twice the Interim Minister at First Church when I attended there.  I love her and I am going to do a blog on her soon because she actually marched with Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.
I had a wonderful day and now I am very tired, so I want you to enjoy the slide show and I will write more tomorrow.  Just know that this is a good day!

Oh, hell! I am falling to pieces before my very eyes!

I have always prided myself on how well preserved I am.  Hard to convince people that I am actually 70 years old.  Well, now it may be catching up with me.  My foot has been hurting since last September, so I decided to go have it checked out.  Now before you get all excited thinking why did I put it off, I will tell you. 
See I was setting a new stock tank for the geese.  That entailed digging.  I thought I had probably bruised my foot.  So I kind of took it easy for a few days.  Then it was October and I began to think maybe I had sort of did the hairline fracture thing so I started doubling up on the Calcium.  By then we were just past Thanksgiving, and then there was Christmas to contend with and then New Years.  So this was actually the first chance I had to see Doctor. That and the fact that I seemed to recall a woman who had stepped on a needle and years later it showed up on an x-ray.  This sure felt like a needle.
So I called and of course, Deb got me right in. 
Doctor was very surprised to see me and after exchanging pleasantry's he checked my chart.  Now bear in mind that my blood pressure is always right there on the normal number and never fluctuates.  Well, except today when it found it necessary to jump up 12 points.  So here I sat with a needle in my foot ready to break loose and head for my heart and the elevated blood pressure.  I tried to explain to him that when she took my blood pressure, we were talking.  This really tickled him. 
"So when you talk your blood pressure jumps up?"
"Well, no, but I am under a lot of stress."
"Stress from what?"
"Well, that needle in my foot that is probably moving steadily to my heart while we are talking for one thing!"
"X-ray will pick up a needle like that!"  Course he snapped his fingers, because that is what they do. "Now what else?"
So I explained about how busy I have been selling on ebay.
"Oh, dear, making money stresses you?"
I told him about the big ice glacier in my front yard.
"Oh, dear, ice stresses you?"
I told him about all the things I do in my "spare time".
"Oh, you would rather vegetate?"
To make a long story short, the man knows me very well and he puts up with no crap and excuses.  I love him and have since the first day I met him.  That day when he walked into the exam room the first time and said, "Why are you here?"
And I said, "Since you are my new doctor, I wanted to meet you."
And he said, "So do you want a Colonostomy?"
And I said, "Do I look like I want a Colonostomy?"
And he said, "So then, why are you here?"
And I said, "Because if I have a major coronary and wind up in the emergency room I would at least want to know that you recognized me as one of your patients.  I do not take pills for my Cholesterol, and I will let you know if I have any needs.  Blood test once a year so you can tell me it is high and adjust my thyroid.  That is about it."
But now he is making Doctor noises and since I do love the man dearly and have gotten used to living on this planet I guess I will keep an eye on the old blood pressure and seems like the x-ray came back and there is not a needle in the old foot after all.  It is a spur and if it continues to bother me, "we" will do something about it which will entail a knife and a needle which strikes fear in my heart.  So the wiccan brought me some stuff to try and I will kind of try to stay off the silly thing a little more.  Oh, and I'm going to mix me up a concoction of cider vinegar, honey and garlic.  Garlic cures everything, including spurs and blood pressure!  Oh, yeah, vampires, too!
And being single and uninvolved, I can pack away the garlic!  Yes!  Life is good even if I am falling to pieces a bit at a time.