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Thursday, May 26, 2011

I have unleashed a monster on the world!

First I should tell you that the SWM of long ago who broke my heart and left me disillusioned is now operating under my umbrella in a far different capacity than he was last summer.  We are now friends.  As such we do not discuss politics, race, religion, Fox News, rearing of children, the welfare state, immigration, Sarah Palin, cooking, tattoos, Harley Davidson, the price of silver, and a myriad of subjects which are dealt with on a need to deal basis.  We spend a lot of time in quiet meditation.  I see him a couple times a week and I am helping him get his life organized.  Can not get mine on track, but doing pretty good getting him lined out. 

As friends we have a lot more in common and seem to have developed a mutual respect that was missing before.  I have found that he is interested in gardening.  Small draw back here is that he now realizes he is old and does not have time to wait for this stuff to get big.  So he has planted two  6 foot evergreens.  When he wanted Pampas grass he assumed he could buy it 6 feet tall and was crushed to be presented with 6 inch starts.  Of course the 4 inch tomato plants were a real blow to his expectations.  But like a true city farmer he went along with the game.  Four tomato plants and 2 peppers along with 2 hills of Zucchini soon graced his back yard.  He recalled his mother building a tent with three sticks for the tomatoes and was a little disappointed to find that the tomatoes needed to be 3 feet taller to reach the sticks.  That and the walk ways he built between the plants proved a little too much for me.  I had to take a break.

Next I taught him the benefit of making a list of things that need to be done and told him how gratifying it is to complete a task and then check it off or draw a line through it.  He is very good at making the list.  Very, very good.  I taught him on Tuesday about the list and Wednesday he called to read me his list.  It is now up to 38 items.  Nothing is checked off because he does not have time to do anything since he has to water his garden and make his list!  I am worried he may starve to death since I did not see anything about food on the list.

Now, lest you think I am completely heartless, I do have a long range plan for the little fellow.  Next week he and I are going to venture off to the the Senior Center and he will be enrolling in computer classes and I think he may play Chess.  I  will have to put this plan in place as I go.  See I noticed when I had lunch with Phyllis that there seemed to be a plethora of women in the lunch room.  Now I know the drill here.  If I were to be so inclined as to actively seek male companionship I would put me on a pretty little frock and kind of sashay along the boulevard there and sort of smile with my eyes a little down cast and some big strong boy would fall in step.  So, I know the game the girls are playing, I just need to make him aware of the part he should be playing.  How the boy survived this long in the world of women unscathed is beyond me.

He does not have an inquiring mind at all.  I know this because he wanted me to help him clean his stove.  So the first step was to do the self cleaning oven thing.  We disconnected the smoke alarm and opened all the windows and I went home and he went to his garage.  The next day I returned.  The boy almost had a stroke when I pulled the oven door off the hinges.  Then when I pulled the drawer on the bottom of the stove out he was astounded.  He had used the stove for 7 years and did not know either of those things could happen.  But he now has a very clean stove with the skillets neatly tucked away.  So I am grooming him for the candlelight dinners that await him and some lucky lady in the not to distant future.  I know he can cook so that is an advantage.

So next week I will throw him to the wolves, so to speak.  He has very high morals and a naivete that I find rather amusing.  Course we know how many times I have been around the block and I do not try to sugar coat any of it.  He will make some woman a very good companion and we are both acutely aware that it is not me.  The boy plays Classical music in his garage and his venture on the wild side is a little light jazz.  And he reads books with big words and tiny print by people I have never heard of before.  Way out of my comfort zone, but that does not make him a bad person. 

Ah, but for every  Jack there is a Jill.  We know that.  We just have to find the right Jill.  It is an undertaking that he has not yet put on his list, but he will! Just  click on this to see what I have planned!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR2FvrU-NIM



 

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