I have unleashed a monster on the world!

First I should tell you that the SWM of long ago who broke my heart and left me disillusioned is now operating under my umbrella in a far different capacity than he was last summer.  We are now friends.  As such we do not discuss politics, race, religion, Fox News, rearing of children, the welfare state, immigration, Sarah Palin, cooking, tattoos, Harley Davidson, the price of silver, and a myriad of subjects which are dealt with on a need to deal basis.  We spend a lot of time in quiet meditation.  I see him a couple times a week and I am helping him get his life organized.  Can not get mine on track, but doing pretty good getting him lined out. 

As friends we have a lot more in common and seem to have developed a mutual respect that was missing before.  I have found that he is interested in gardening.  Small draw back here is that he now realizes he is old and does not have time to wait for this stuff to get big.  So he has planted two  6 foot evergreens.  When he wanted Pampas grass he assumed he could buy it 6 feet tall and was crushed to be presented with 6 inch starts.  Of course the 4 inch tomato plants were a real blow to his expectations.  But like a true city farmer he went along with the game.  Four tomato plants and 2 peppers along with 2 hills of Zucchini soon graced his back yard.  He recalled his mother building a tent with three sticks for the tomatoes and was a little disappointed to find that the tomatoes needed to be 3 feet taller to reach the sticks.  That and the walk ways he built between the plants proved a little too much for me.  I had to take a break.

Next I taught him the benefit of making a list of things that need to be done and told him how gratifying it is to complete a task and then check it off or draw a line through it.  He is very good at making the list.  Very, very good.  I taught him on Tuesday about the list and Wednesday he called to read me his list.  It is now up to 38 items.  Nothing is checked off because he does not have time to do anything since he has to water his garden and make his list!  I am worried he may starve to death since I did not see anything about food on the list.

Now, lest you think I am completely heartless, I do have a long range plan for the little fellow.  Next week he and I are going to venture off to the the Senior Center and he will be enrolling in computer classes and I think he may play Chess.  I  will have to put this plan in place as I go.  See I noticed when I had lunch with Phyllis that there seemed to be a plethora of women in the lunch room.  Now I know the drill here.  If I were to be so inclined as to actively seek male companionship I would put me on a pretty little frock and kind of sashay along the boulevard there and sort of smile with my eyes a little down cast and some big strong boy would fall in step.  So, I know the game the girls are playing, I just need to make him aware of the part he should be playing.  How the boy survived this long in the world of women unscathed is beyond me.

He does not have an inquiring mind at all.  I know this because he wanted me to help him clean his stove.  So the first step was to do the self cleaning oven thing.  We disconnected the smoke alarm and opened all the windows and I went home and he went to his garage.  The next day I returned.  The boy almost had a stroke when I pulled the oven door off the hinges.  Then when I pulled the drawer on the bottom of the stove out he was astounded.  He had used the stove for 7 years and did not know either of those things could happen.  But he now has a very clean stove with the skillets neatly tucked away.  So I am grooming him for the candlelight dinners that await him and some lucky lady in the not to distant future.  I know he can cook so that is an advantage.

So next week I will throw him to the wolves, so to speak.  He has very high morals and a naivete that I find rather amusing.  Course we know how many times I have been around the block and I do not try to sugar coat any of it.  He will make some woman a very good companion and we are both acutely aware that it is not me.  The boy plays Classical music in his garage and his venture on the wild side is a little light jazz.  And he reads books with big words and tiny print by people I have never heard of before.  Way out of my comfort zone, but that does not make him a bad person. 

Ah, but for every  Jack there is a Jill.  We know that.  We just have to find the right Jill.  It is an undertaking that he has not yet put on his list, but he will! Just  click on this to see what I have planned!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR2FvrU-NIM



 

Do I have class? I do not think so.

I used to think I had class.  May not have been high class, but I could get by and fit in with almost anyone any where.  Now I have had occasion to rethink the whole class thing.  I was having coffee with a friend the other day when I first began thinking maybe I was not on the same level as he was.  Granted he came from Denver via San Francisco via Philadelphia, drives a Lexus and actually owns a camel hair jacket of some sort or another.  Maybe it was a blazer.  We were discussing a play he had seen and as I sat there I watched him as he described having gone to the theater.  Theater.  I had at one time watched a movie.  The fact that I could not recall what it was about when it was over should have been the first clue.  "Shall we go to the theater?" is a far cry from "Want to catch a movie?" or "There is a play at the Impossible Players tonight".   Theater denotes that I will be wearing a dress of some sort and will behave in a civilized manner.  Movie would be jeans and tennies.  Play means we are going to eat before we go!

Just as "dinner engagement" is the direct opposite of "What's for supper?"  so "Brunch" is to "early lunch or late breakfast."  As I sat there engaged in this one sided conversation, my mind began to slowly point out the differences in our two worlds.  He talks in a quiet, well enunciated, sedate voice.  If something is funny, he laughs softly or smiles to himself.  I am more middle of the road, well more clear the hell and gone over there in the ditch.  I have been known to throw my head back and laugh very loudly if something is funny.  That is not done in polite society.  I usually kick my shoes off at the front door.  He wears his even when he is home alone. His hands are very soft and white.  His nails are manicured.  My hands are calloused. The majority of my nails are out of the quick, and no two are the same length.  His hair is pulled back and I think he just got in from the stylist.  No two hairs in my head go the same direction.  He will open the door for me and all I have to do is stand  and smile at him, but I don't feel like playing the game today.  I am out of there.

Now I should make a note here that this was not our first cup of coffee.  We had, in fact been to lunch a couple times and gone for a drive in the mountains.  He seemed to have the sense of humor that is necessary to me.  He is financially secure,  which is also important.  This was not my first rodeo, but it may have been his.  Remember when I said I was going to do the dating thing this year?  Well, this was  a feeble attempt at getting started on that road.  So in my typical fashion I have interviewed and discarded one of the male species.  I have decided that since I really do not care if I have one in my life on a permanent basis that I can afford to be very picky.  I am just afraid that by being a woman who does not care if she has a man, it is like waving a red flag at one of them. 

So, while this particular SWM and I had several good days over a three week period together I fear that this is not the one for me.  Oh, I fully intend to "see" him on occasion and we will talk on the phone from time to time.  He is a very interesting man, but way out of my comfort level for someone I want to introduce to my kids.  I am pretty sure he is not the one that will bait my hook when we go fishing, if we were to go fishing.  Doesn't strike me as anyone who could gut a fish either.  Although in all fairness he did listen attentively while I described the process to him.  I know he was attentive, because he did not blink one time.  Course shock has much the same reaction.  Hmmmmmmmmmmm?

So back to the drawing board for the dating thing.