Time is running out for me to meet my goal for this year!! Help Me!
Some times it is not what some one says, but rather what they do not say. Or maybe what someone does not say is expounded by what some one else did say. It throws me into a quandary and keeps me awake at night. First the boy and girl brought home KFC. And while we were eating they announced that they would be moving to Idaho this winter. I knew they were moving, but not quite that far. Thought it was just across town. Course the fact that the life I planned for him with Sprinkles and all is sort of fodder for the grist mill with this announcement. But I can live with that.
I put my last years AIDS Walk shoes up for auction on eBay. I put a link to the chat room and it stayed up about 10 minutes before some one reported me and it was pulled. What a jerk. We are not supposed to do business in the chat rooms, but I hardly thought the link to an auction that is 100% charity on eBay, through an eBay forum was "doing business." I think the word AIDS had more to do with that then anything, but I am sure someone will set me straight. (Hi, Steven). But that is alright because I had my opening bid before I even posted to the chat room. ;)
So with these two little set backs under my belt, I settled in to enjoy the little soft rain we were getting. And I was sort of thinking some one special might email me and tell to have a safe trip. But that did not happen. Maybe he was just so busy he could not spare two minutes to shoot out an email. Or maybe he forgot. Or maybe he just doesn't care. The point here is this (and you knew there would be one!)......
I have gotten soft in my old age. I have actually come to think that how other people interact with me actually matters. A few years ago I would have blown this incident off and not given it a second thought. But here I am this morning feeling sorry for myself, or depressed or something. Something I sure do not like to feel. And I am reflecting back on things I have done to other people and never given a thought to how they felt. Selfish Lou. I guess this is what we call "man's inhumanity to man."
And how many times have I neglected to send a card, make a call, tap out an email or made contact in some way with a person who could have used that one little human contact at just that moment? How many times have I forgotten to just smile at a stranger for no reason? How many times have I not walked those extra two steps to give a hug to some one I know needs one? But I am very quick to point out to someone else how they neglected me. Look, you hurt me. You made me cry. Poor me. The world is spinning out of control and all I care about is me!
Maybe I do need a vacation. I am sure I need some time to reflect on life in general. I will have 8 hours alone with myself in the car going and another 8 hours coming back. That is a total of 16 hours to think about things. My brain may explode. But I am nothing if not organized. I have a very pretty notebook and I fully intend to make lots of notes and hopefully I will be in a better frame of mind when I arrive at my destination. I talked to Vi yesterday and she will meet me there. So that is good. Step daughter just called and told me to drive safely. And an email from a friend telling me to have a good time. So I guess there are people out there who care after all. I guess I do win now and then, just makes me sad that I can not win them all!
See you in about a week unless I feel a driving need to tell you something.
Some times it is not what some one says, but rather what they do not say. Or maybe what someone does not say is expounded by what some one else did say. It throws me into a quandary and keeps me awake at night. First the boy and girl brought home KFC. And while we were eating they announced that they would be moving to Idaho this winter. I knew they were moving, but not quite that far. Thought it was just across town. Course the fact that the life I planned for him with Sprinkles and all is sort of fodder for the grist mill with this announcement. But I can live with that.
I put my last years AIDS Walk shoes up for auction on eBay. I put a link to the chat room and it stayed up about 10 minutes before some one reported me and it was pulled. What a jerk. We are not supposed to do business in the chat rooms, but I hardly thought the link to an auction that is 100% charity on eBay, through an eBay forum was "doing business." I think the word AIDS had more to do with that then anything, but I am sure someone will set me straight. (Hi, Steven). But that is alright because I had my opening bid before I even posted to the chat room. ;)
So with these two little set backs under my belt, I settled in to enjoy the little soft rain we were getting. And I was sort of thinking some one special might email me and tell to have a safe trip. But that did not happen. Maybe he was just so busy he could not spare two minutes to shoot out an email. Or maybe he forgot. Or maybe he just doesn't care. The point here is this (and you knew there would be one!)......
I have gotten soft in my old age. I have actually come to think that how other people interact with me actually matters. A few years ago I would have blown this incident off and not given it a second thought. But here I am this morning feeling sorry for myself, or depressed or something. Something I sure do not like to feel. And I am reflecting back on things I have done to other people and never given a thought to how they felt. Selfish Lou. I guess this is what we call "man's inhumanity to man."
And how many times have I neglected to send a card, make a call, tap out an email or made contact in some way with a person who could have used that one little human contact at just that moment? How many times have I forgotten to just smile at a stranger for no reason? How many times have I not walked those extra two steps to give a hug to some one I know needs one? But I am very quick to point out to someone else how they neglected me. Look, you hurt me. You made me cry. Poor me. The world is spinning out of control and all I care about is me!
Maybe I do need a vacation. I am sure I need some time to reflect on life in general. I will have 8 hours alone with myself in the car going and another 8 hours coming back. That is a total of 16 hours to think about things. My brain may explode. But I am nothing if not organized. I have a very pretty notebook and I fully intend to make lots of notes and hopefully I will be in a better frame of mind when I arrive at my destination. I talked to Vi yesterday and she will meet me there. So that is good. Step daughter just called and told me to drive safely. And an email from a friend telling me to have a good time. So I guess there are people out there who care after all. I guess I do win now and then, just makes me sad that I can not win them all!
See you in about a week unless I feel a driving need to tell you something.
No comments:
Post a Comment