When God closes a door, he opens a window.

 I have always known this to be true although I also tend to forget it a lot.  I need to lay the back drop for this story first.  30 years ago I began working with AIDS patients as a care giver and personal companion.  The epidemic was in full swing back then and a lot of people were worried about "catching it", so people who did my line of work were in great demand.  But this is about a friendship forged in the midst of sickness and dying buffered by an underlying hope for a cure.  Sadly there was not a miracle cure discovered, but there was medicine discovered that could suppress the virus and allow people to live fairly normal lives, but that is history and this blog is about a friendship.

While I worked in the field with the clients, my friend was a case manager.  She dealt with them in their medical care and financial needs.  I helped them with house work, laundry, cooking, shopping, banking and that sort of stuff.  I also tried to give them avenues of entertainment including walks in the park, picnics and  and stuff like that.  Since there was a stigma connected to them at the time my job description changed almost daily.  I was whatever I needed to be at any given time for any reason.  And always in the background was Renate.  What did I need?  How could she help?  Always a phone call away.

In our line of work at that time there were frequent deaths.  It was a scary time for us as well as the clients.  Science was working overtime to conquer this plague and all we could do was try to help where and when we could. We started social events to try to have some sort of normalcy.  We started World AIDS  Day and made an AIDS Quilt.  We were marking time and eventually it paid off.  The community learned that AIDS was a manageable medical condition and it was spread by love.  Safe sex became our mantra, and now many years later, it has paid off and we can teach safe sex.

  I eventually left the client base because they did not need me any more.  I went to volunteer at hospice and Renate retired to live her idyllic life with the man she loved. Renate and I drifted apart after she retired.   But life is cruel. I knew she moved to Fowler and now had a life partner, but that was all I knew.  And now all these years later, the circle has reconnected and we have made contact again.  Her life has changed and mine has changed.  She is a widow and I just lost my Anthony.  She will be here tomorrow!  She thinks she can still find my house, but we will see.  The neighborhood has changed and time has passed.  We will see.

So, today I am going to make cookies or cinnamon rolls for my friend.  It seems strange to say the word "friend" in connection with some one I have not seen in many years, but some bonds are never broken and when people fight for a cause that is right and just, they remain friends forever.  

It will be nice to see her and  I am going to hug her so tight she can not get loose!  And we will cry over Jim and Anthony, and laugh over Mark and Allen and all the clients of long ago.  And when she leaves we will make a vow to never be seperated like this again and maybe this time it will work.  I just know this, the Lord works in wonderous ways, his miracles to perform.

Peace.

If I could shut off my memory....

Morning seems to be when I remember best.  I woke up this morning  back in the late 60's.  I was working as a waitress in a restaurant in Hutchinson.  It was my first job in the real world with my kids dependent on me since I was newly seperated and had filed for divorce.  Back in those days child support was optional and welfare required that you not work to qualify for help from the state.  So there I was.  I had never waited tables as a means of support.  Many years before I had been a cook/waitress/dishwasher at a place out on 4th street called the Tiny Tear.  Course most of my life at that time was spent in an alcohol induced fog, so I remembered little of that experience.  But now it was   ten years later.

The people who ran this resturaunt took pity on me and were very patient and they needed help on the night shift really bad.  The logistics of the job are not important, just the people.  There were the two "real waitresses" and a young girl who was attending college and supporting her self.  There was also a cook,  cook's helper and a dishwasher.  We were closed one day a week and that was the only day off that we had.  To make a long story short, the cook and the young college girl fell in love.  Oh, it was so romantic.  They billed and cooed and carried on something fierce.  She, however, appeared a lot more enthralled with the relationship than he did.  The strange part was, they never dated.  Never.

 He would leave work on Sunday when we closed and not appear again until Tuesday afternoon.  Where did he go?  The young college girl did not know.  Nor did anyone else.  She cried and he gave her a ring.  But still they never dated.  He swore he loved her with his whole heart, and she believed him.  We all did.  And like all things in life and like mother always taught me, "It all comes out in the wash!"  He was going to Wichita.  Why?  Why not?

The young college girl gave up and returned the ring.  She moved on.  He quit cooking there, the two "real waitresses" moved to Texas, and I took a job cooking at the Red Carpet Resturant.  I saw the cook from time to time, but that friendship petered out as any friendship that has secrets will.

Many years later found me in Pueblo, Colorado.  A lot of water ran under this bridge and I finally found my niche in the construction industry.  The AIDS epidemic reared it's ugly head.  It was sad back then.  People were dying at an alarming rate.  I divorced again, got my degree in accounting and all my little acolades because I was so damn smart.  Then I married for the last time.  For whatever reason I began volunteering with the AIDS group in town and it was tied in tightly with the Gay community.  I have watched the face of AIDS and sexual orientation change from complete denial to total acceptance in my life time and I am proud to say I was in the forefront of most all of it!  but I digress.

I remained friends with only a few people back home, but one of them was a friend of the cook.  Remember him?  He was the one who ran away to Wichita every chance he got.  The one who left the college girl crying.  He became quite successful in his chosen profession, but he never married.  One day his friend called me and said "Do you remember 'the cook' "?  Sure I did.  She then told me he was rushed to the hospital and they had no idea what was wrong with him, but he was in a coma.  The next day he was dead.

Weeks would pass before the autopsy returned the results of his demise.  AIDS.  Not really AIDS, but disease associated with the syndrome.  At that time it was still a "gay disease."  At that time it was selective.  It was a scourge.  You were not even tested if you were not gay, and he was not gay!  Oh, wait a minute.  All the trips to Wichita began to creep in on the corners of my mind.  Could he have been leading a secret life?  Was that what that was all about?  The young college girl had become a quite successful architect and married very well, but he had not.  He lived all alone in a very nice house and had friends, but no romantic interests.  Or  so we thought.  It all comes out in the wash.

And why do I have this on my mind this morning?  I think it is because of the hatred that is being spewed through this election.  One governor struck down a bill passed by his state governing body that legalized discrimination.  Another is proposing legislation that legalizes it!  Contenders for the position of president are calling to criminalize birth control, homosexuallity, gay marriage, and about anything that has been passed in the last 20 years.  I may have to run for office myself.

My platform would be love and tolerance.  No discrimination.  A living wage and a chicken in every pot.  The only two things I would outlaw would be homelessness and poverty.  Everyone that wanted an education would get it and a few that did not want it would get it anyway.  Drugs would be illegal.  Gangs would be illegal.  Killing people because you are a jerk and can, would be illegal.  You get the picture?  Kind of a pollyanna world, so to speak.

But in the meantime, I send good thoughts to "the cook" and everyone who hides in the shadows because of fear or shame or whatever reason.  If the college student/architect or the "two real waitresses" or someone who knows them happens to read this, I wish you would contact me.  Just go google loumercer3, or Lou Mercer.  Or leave a comment below.  I would love to hear from anyone that knew me back then.

In the meantime remember:

 BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED!

The year in review.

Here we are at the end of the year again.  I have been here 71  times and it never ceases to amaze me how many people are off and running to the party.  Not me.  I can not stay awake that long.  I will put on a big pot of black eyed peas so I can eat them tomorrow because that will bring me good luck.  Or so I hear and the way my luck runs, I do not want to take any chances!  Actually, my life is pretty good.  Few bumps here and there, but nothing insurmountable. 
January started out with a bang.   My dear friend Sherman was told his cancer had become active and invaded  his spine.  This would set my course for the rest of the year, if not the rest of my life.  His friend, Libby, who was his office manager when he had his business in Denver, came to act as his liaison with the medical community.  She and I became very close friends over the next few months and remain so today.
His very good friend, Mark, came from St. Louis and stayed for 3 weeks while he was in radiation.  Mark and I became good friends and like Libby, it remains so.
I lost him on July 13, which just happened to be Friday the 13th.  I think he might have done that on purpose.  He just had that kind of sense of humor about him.
I met his family and keep in touch with them.  I plan on going to St. Louis this next year.  I have never been there.  Bret has.  The Babylock company is there so that is where he attends classes.  Maybe I will take the train.  That is my plan.  Stop in Hutch.  Stop in St. Louis.  Finish in Dallas, and then reverse the whole thing.  Sounds like a dream come true.  I will probably sleep all the way through the trip.
I "self" published my novel Chapter One...Loose Ends and was able to place a copy in Sherman's hands before he passed away.  That was a shining moment for both of us.  And while I have not sold nearly enough copies to pay the publishing costs, it has been very gratifying.  I am working on a story line now that he and his brother requested.  It is purely fantasy and is what "could have been."  That can be read here.  Some of the descriptions will be real and the basic story line covers some of our time together and how we met.  I think it will be fun.
I did remain active in SCAP through the year and we had luncheon every second Tuesday of the month and several cookouts in the park.  Attended the movies once.  Played miniature golf.  You know, just fun stuff to escape the harsh realities of life.  World AIDS Day was observed at the Hoag Library on December 1.  Great turnout.
We had the Weavers Sale at the Vail Hotel, the craft show at church and the Jingle Bell boutique.  All those were in November.  I made enough money from those to pay the house insurance and part of the taxes.  I missed my vacation this year. 
I sold some stuff and managed to come up with almost enough money to rip out my carpet and put in wood laminate floors on the main level.  I am busy now trying to empty those three rooms and paint.  You got to remember that I have ceilings that are 14 feet high (at least on one end) so painting is a major undertaking.  Old women and ladders are not conducive to anything good happening so I am looking for children who love me, or a windfall to pay a painter!  Neither one has happened yet.  My only hope, Dan, is busy moving his mother and brother up from Arkansas, so I am open to any suggestion that does not entail doing it myself!
As I reflect back on the past year, I think it was a good one.  The part about Sherman was very sad, but for the most part it was a good year.  I made lots of friends through Sherman and we had some good times.  While I miss him I am keeping busy and carrying on just like I had good sense.  And as for the painting thing...I started this blog early today and about 2  my friend Lyn showed up and now everything is painted except the tall wall, and that is coming tomorrow evening when I have her and her husband to supper.  Life indeed is good!

Happy New Year to you and yours!!

 

This is enough to make me want to give up eating!

 Know what that is up there?  Looks like a bowl of mashed potatoes, maybe?  Or maybe it is a bowl of ice cream?  First let me tell you what I made the other day.  It was client outing for the month of March at SCAP.  We were going bowling so I made Sloppy Joe's for lunch.  Kimie always comes when we have those and I love her baby! 

I like to try to cook kind of healthy most of the time, so I got me 6 pounds of hamburger.  I put this in a big pot and cover it with water.  Then I work the water into the hamburger.  This does 2 things.  First it makes the whole pot a more even consistency, no lumps.  Then it renders the fat out a little better then browning it in a skillet and trying to drain it all off the meat.  Then I pour the whole thing in a strainer set in a big stainless steel bowl.  Result is very dry hamburger with very little fat.  Then I throw it all back in the crock pot and add my onions, peppers, ketchup, garlic, brown sugar and what ever else and set it to simmer.  Result is some of the best Sloppy Joe's you are ever going to bite into and no preservatives except what snuck in with the ketchup.

So here set this bowl of water with grease on top of it.  What to do with that.  Can't put it in the sink.  Won't pour it over the fence cause the Llama's might eat it and get sick.  One solution and the only one I could think of was to let the grease get cool and harden and then skim it off and put it in the trash.  Crisis averted.

So when I got home that evening the grease was indeed firm enough to remove.  So I did that I put it in this bowl.  I dumped the water and washed that bowl and went to bed.  The next morning when I got up and went to make coffee I found this on the counter.  First thought was it was a bowl of mashed potatoes some one forgot to put away.  Silly Lou!  It was that bowl of fat!  Light bulb went on and I knew what I had to do. 

When we think about fat, it is something we never visualize.  Well here it is for you to look at and think about.  This bowl of fat weighs in at 12 ounces, sans bowl.  6 pounds of hamburger yields 12 ounces of fat or 12.5% fat.  That equates to roughly 2 ounces of fat in each pound of hamburger.  Visual here....picture a pound of hamburger made into 4 patties.  Half of one of those patties is solid fat.  Now picture your self with a spoon dipping in that bowl and chowing down on a couple spoonfuls of that crap in that bowl. When you read the nutritional info on the back of a package of what ever, think about this.

This is fat.  This is what it looks like.  Whether it shows up in a pot pie, a bowl of ice cream, a pat of butter, glass of milk, or a doughnut, this is what it looks like.  Ever watch the Biggest Loser?  I rest my case.

Do not misconstrue this message.  Our bodies do require fat.  Check with your doctor or dietitian as to your needs.  I profess to being ignorant in these matters and bring a doughnut to the party and I am all over that sucker.  Just thought you would like to see what it looks like piled up in a bowl!

The feeble mind is easily amused!

And the phone call came, as it always does....

Just got the phone call I have been expecting with the news that we have lost another client.  We had planned a farewell party for him for last Tuesday, but he wound up in the hospital, so we postponed it for a few days.  This is never easy, these parties, but it gives us all a chance to say goodbye.  Missed this one.

Why is it when that phone call comes, it is always a surprise?  We were expecting it, we knew it was coming, but just not today and not this early in the morning.  And why is it that when it comes the first response is to find someone to hold me when I cry?  I am a strong woman, and I know other strong women, and yet that is the first thing we want; someone to hold us. 

So, failing in that, because there is definitely a shortage of arms around here, I must do the next thing, and that is to rage.  Rage against the unfairness of life, rage against a young life cut short,  and rage that our government, our churches, the hierarchy of the world can do nothing about this damn disease that steals our people while the population in general thinks we have actually found a cure for this.  Rage while our young people have unprotected sex, because it can not happen to them!

Right now my mind is a dither, and I just wanted you to know some of my feelings at this moment.  You have all been there so I am sure you understand.  Just want you all to take the time to turn to someone and tell them you love them.  Tomorrow is another day and you may not get the chance.  And remember in spite of it all, God is good and his arms are always there for me.

AIDS Walk 2010 Garden of Gods C/S

Well, today is October 9, 2010.  If my sister-in-law were still alive it would be her birthday, but she is not.  So it is the day we went to Colorado Springs to Garden of the Gods for AIDS Walk 2010.  What a beautiful day it was!  First I thought it was just right, then I thought it was cold, and then about halfway into our 3 mile walk, it got downright warm.

These are my two partners on the Loosey Goosey Team.  The one on the left is John Tenorio and Erik Gibson.  We have vowed to do a much better job next year, because all our money we raised stays right here in Pueblo.  Our team raised $1430.60 which made our team #3 on the fundraising docket.  I raised $1100.60 which made me #4 on the individual division of raising money.  Pretty impressive since there were 145 people raising money. 

 I am wearing my hat that I wore to the 10th Annual AIDS walk.  Do not remember what year that was. But it has lots of pins on it.

 Now look at this!  Who would not enjoy a walk through this scenery.  We actually went between these.  If you look real close you can see the line of people ahead of us.

 Here comes cousins Steven, Mark and Daryle Smalley.  Steven and Daryle live in Hutchinson.  Mark is currently in Denver. It was just great having them go on this walk with me.  I see them so seldom and they are all dear boys!  I used to change Mark's diaper.  Don't know about Steven.  Not Daryle, he was all potty trained when I worked for Aunt Alice.

 See we all got a red ribbon to wear and then we we got back we had to write our name on it and it then went into what is called the "Commitment Ball".  I knew when I headed up there this morning that some sort of commitment was in order!

 These are the shoes that carried this body on the route.  I am going to publicise them and then put them on eBay for sale to the highest bidder.  All proceeds will go to Southern Colorado AIDS Project and be earmarked for Pueblo.

This is the grand daughter that walked with me.  We had a great time.  Since she is a minor I shall just call her Dear Girl.  Next year she will help raise money and we will do really well.  Just got a late start this year or we could have really kicked butt!

And there you have it!  I have not put a lot of scenery pictures in and that is because I wanted to present the human face of this walk.  Scenery will be along in a day or two.  So, now I am going to have a nap and bask in the joy of the day!  A job well done, my good and faithful servant!

I am running out of time for the raising of the money!

Ok, There you have it.  I am 71% of the way there, but that means I am still short 29%.  Now as near as I can tell this blog has only raised $15.00  That is kind of sad, don't you think?  I know by your reactions to the AIDS Quilts that you are touched by this disease and my compassion for the people who suffer the devastation it brings.  This walk only comes around once a year and I really want to do good for these people.  Right now I am the #4 fundraiser and my team is #3, but that is not going to hold water here the end of this week.  There are some big money people out there who will blow us right out of the pond.

I would just like to show the fat cats that us little people can move a mountain if we need to.   By making a donation, and I do not care how small it is, you are telling me that you support me in my efforts on this cause.  Sometimes the road seems to go straight up hill and even a saint like me needs a little encouragement.  It comes this time in dollar bills. Course you can also pop up to Colorado Springs and cheer me on when my poor little body is walking up the side of a mountain in the high altitude where there is no oxygen and I am probably going to drop dead and then you will wish you had thrown $5.00 my way!

This is my last official plea and I would just be tickled to death to see your name on my list.  And I would go right through the roof if the guy in Canada or the one in Germany who reads me were to donate!  But I will take what I get!   And I will thank you from the bottom of my heart as the clients who benefit from these dollars also thank you. 

So good night to you and God be with us till we meet again!

Oh, quick Eric is going to beat me!

I heard through the grapevine that Eric has some donors that are going to cause me to be dumped in the dust.  I am so sorry, but you know how competitive I am and if Eric beats me I am going to be devastated!  It just dawned on me that I only have 10 days left to come up with another $500.00.  Now when we started this venture  $1000.00 did not seem like much money, but now that the deadline is coming up I am starting to get very nervous. 

See it is a matter of pride with me.  I know I have a lot of friends and I was pretty much counting on them to bail my boney butt out.  Now I do not know where my friends have gotten off to.  I had a couple of the chat room girls donate, but none of the guys.  Hey, I thought they loved me!  I know I have family and friends out there reading this.  Help!

You see Eric is a little skinny, really cute kid with these curls and I can not just be defeated by a pretty face!  There is no amount to large or too small.  Just throw me any kind of a bone here!  Look here is my widget and everything!  I love you.  You know I love you!  And this is a very worthy cause.

Southern Colorado AIDS Project at Publo Pride Day!

Here I am on August 22, 2010 down on the HARP River  Walk at Pueblo Gay Pride Day.  These are a few of my friends from Southern Colorado AIDS Project.  On the left is the Reverend John Mark Hild of the Metropolitan Community Church here in Pueblo.  Directly behind me is Eric, a volunteer. The tall good looking guy there is Bill Sharpton.  He works for SCAP in the Colorado Springs office. If you recall the white panel on the AIDS Quilt with all the AA coins is his sister, Marty.

Gay Pride was quite a little event this year.  Makes me remember back to the beginning of my venture into the Gay Community in Pueblo.  I think it must have been about 1990 or 91 when I found PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). There were 3 of us mothers and we met in the basement of the Red Cross Building on Pueblo Boulevard and prayed no one would know we were there.  We've come a long way, baby!

We now have a presence all over Pueblo in the form of youth groups, activist groups, clinics, support groups, World AIDS Day services, Southern Colordao Equality Alliance, and a scholarship program at the Community College.  I am sure there is much more, but this is good for now.  I am very proud to say the torch has been passed to a new generation and us old ladies that were there in the beginning can now set back and let the young'uns handle the load.  They have boundless energy and are all gung ho' on this and I am very glad.  This is one time we can truly enjoy the fruits of our labors.  Was not sure I would see this day 20 years ago.

Hey, have a good one today and every day, bearing in mind that Neil Armstrong made is own statement years ago when he said, "That is one step for man, and one giant step for mankind!"  Keep putting one foot in front of the other whether you are on the moon or in Pueblo, Colorado, or Podunk, Georgia.  Any step forward is something to be proud of and 2 other mothers and myself are proud of Pueblo, Colorado!!

Pueblo AIDS Memorial Quilt #6; Final entry.

It is a shame that my camera has decided to give me only blurry pictures.  When I get my new camera I will replace this blurry little thing!  But for now, I just want to get this finished and be done with it, and move on to other things.

This panel will start in the upper right hand corner with

Mike Darrell

7/22/57-6/26/2006

Mike was a very good friend to both myself and my husband.  He came here from Houston, Texas with a friend.  He was a handyman of sorts and a mechanic extraordinare.  He loved his motorcycle and rode it wherever he went if there was not a hurricane gale blowing.  He could fix the car or the diesel truck.  What ever needed done.  He was also an artist and a musician.  I do not know how many flutes ( and I call them that for want of a better word ) he had.  I think they were Irish pipes and that boy loved Irish music.  His head was full of  music!  He and his friend started going to my church, but soon found it was not the proper match and went across town to the Christ Chapel.  He was very active over there and fit like a glove. 

I miss Mike very much.

The blue on on the bottom left belongs to
James Smith
1957-3/29/2005
James was a good friend to my friend, Robert.  Robert helped make this panel and he knew James loved Christmas.

The one on the right belongs to
Gilbert Finn
4/18/59-1/6/07
This was Robert's very best friend.  They were together constantly and Robert is pretty much lost without Gilbert.  He also loved Christmas. Robert put a lot of thought and love into both of these panels.
Now last, but definitely not least, we come to my friend
Mark Belarde
3/28/67-12/29/06
This picture shows Mark and me on Santa Claus's lap at the AIDS Christmas party in 2002.  I am not sure that this was the real Santa. I first met Mark in 1992 (I think). He was riding a bike, walking and very active.  He was the proud possessor of 75 T Cells.  Shortly there after his mother passed from a massive heart attack.  I told Mark that I would do what I could to take her place in his life.  I made that my mission.
I registered as his Personal Care Provider through Argus Home Health. Thus began my career in the AIDS Health care Services, but that is a whole 'nuther story!

I started out working with him 6 hours a week, just doing laundry and household chores that he needed help with.  Mark had a very strong constitution, but unfortunately the meds never worked for him.  As years passed slowly by his immune system weakened and his T cells fell. the last 3 years of his life they hovered around the 2 mark.  At one time they were zilch.  I graduated to more hours and was finally doing 48 hours a week and a family member spent nights with him.

I will not bore you with details of our 15 year's together, suffice it to say, I became very attached to Mark and his family.  I became the mother he had lost and he became the son who needed me.  Through trips to the emergency room and  picnics in the mountains, long walks and dirty laundry, physical therapy and shopping trips, eating out and eating in, we formed a bond that can never be broken. 

I finally came to the realization that I could no longer take care of Mark.  I knew I could not do it and he could not do it.  It was time to let go.  The hardest part of life always seems to be the letting go part.  We can do until we are at the point where no more can be done and we realize it must be done.

So it is fitting that
Mark Belarde
be my final entry in this journey to completion of the Pueblo AIDS Memorial Quilt.

With a heavy heart I bid a fond farewell to all my friends who have gone before and will keep the flicker of hope alive that some where, some how I can live long enough to see a cure and a vaccine for this dreadful disease.  Until that day, I will continue to work with AIDS clients. I will add panels to my quilt and display it when called upon to do so.  I will pray ceaselessly and support the cause in whatever way I can.  Will you join me?


 

Pueblo AIDS Memorial Quilt #5

Well, this picture is pretty blurry, but it will just have to do until I can get another camera.  We only have this installment and then one more and we will be done with the Pueblo AIDS Memorial Quilt. 

In the upper left corner we have

Robert Coghill

8/21/1954-7/19/2003

As I recall Robert served in the USMC.

Martha "Marty"Rayble

8/22/1953-4/9/2005

Marty was a very good friend of mine and spent a lot of time at my house.  The coins you see on the panel are AA tokens representing 13 years of sobriety.  Each one says "To thine own self be true."  Marty was good at that! She came one day to my house and we were in the front yard.  The neighbors had an old red turkey that ranged free.  This old tom turkey decided he wanted to set on Marty's lap!  We laughed so hard that day!  But that was Marty! Rather then being afraid or offended she could find humor in most situations!  

 Her biggest mistake in her life was being a good wife.  Like so many women I meet, and men too for that matter, love is a killer.   

At the bottom on the red panel we have

 Dennis Klovstad.

3/10/1956-7/17/2003

I do not know how tall Dennis was but I am sure it was about 6'5".  When I would turn around and find myself eye level with a belt buckle I knew Dennis had arrived!  He was a pretty solitary soul and kept to himself, but if I worked it just right, I could get a smile out of him.  This part is very sad; one year he came in and handed me a small envelope right before Christmas.  I opened it and inside found a note card with a teddy bear.  Dennis had written; "Thank you for being my friend" and enclosed a $1.00 bill!  He did not have much, but he would share what he had.  That card made my Christmas that year!  I still have that card and someday when  I am no longer alive, someone will find that card and I sincerely hope it brings a tear to their eye also.

                                            

Here, among the dancing Indians, we find my friend  Shirley .

Shirley Rezendes

7/9/1983-3/?/2002

Shirley loved Indians and may actually have been part Indian.  Another case of a woman loving a man.

Brent Hanna

7/31/1968-8/7/2003

Brent was a southern gentleman in the truest sense of the words.  Very genteel and very easy to talk to.  Miss that boy a lot!

John

2004

Sometimes this is all I allowed to put on a pane, but when I see it, I remember and so does his mother.

P M

2004

Another one.  This belongs to a teacher and the first thing he had to teach me was how to pronounce his first name.  First we had to spell it so I could visualize how to pronounce it.  Whole process took almost 15 minutes and I will say this, I remember to this day and will probably never forget!  A wonderful man who loved a wonderful woman.

There you have this one!  This has stirred up a lot of memories, but they are mostly good.  Of course part of all memories is sad, but the good is there also.  So I bid this batch of my friends a good night and a fond farewell.  It was a very trying year.

AIDS Quilt #4

I hope I have all the ones on here.  This is one of the first quilts I made. I think it may actually be #2 because there are 2 panels on this one that measure 1' x 3' which tells me we were still in the planning and finalization stages. Shortly thereafter we (I) decided that for this to work they all had to be the same size.  Since the panels on the big quilt are 3' x 6',  which is the size of a grave in the cemetery, we should make these scale to 1/3.  So that works out well.

Steven Stiles

2/9/1956-1/23/1996

This is the white block up in the upper left corner.  It was made by his mother with much love. There is a family portrait and a picture of Steven with his cat. He loved Christmas so there is a beaded tree. His mother did a beautiful job on this.

Steven Kirk

6/9/1956

This is the large black and gold one on the left. He loved the theater and had a star named after him, "Aquila".  I made this at his mother's direction. She has since passed and I miss our little talks.

Gilbert Fields

1985

This was my very, very dear friend Gibby. He used to help me play Santa when I had no one but the kids. Granted, we did have a few drinks in the process, and almost cut our fingers off on a tin doll house once, but we had a great time and if I needed a brother, Gibby was there. He cooked and I waitressed at a place in Hutch called The Red Rooster.

 He moved out to California in 1984.  If you will notice, he passed early in the epidemic. He called us quite regularly until he got sick and nothing could be done. Then his friend kept in touch.  Then there was nothing. Gibby had died and his family chose not to tell anyone so we do not know the exact date of his death nor where he was (or if) he was buried. I do know this little laughing fellow had a very big part of who and where I am today and I send a big hug and kiss up to heaven where my friend Gibby is teaching the angels how to cook and my mother is giving him hell!

Gene Howery

8/18/1945-8/14/1995

This is the lower right with the howling coyote.  Another friend with no family to make a panel. We all went to Denver to the Gay Pride Parade in 1994, I believe.  The kids marched and we watched and waved. Gene and his partner walked with there dogs. Such a common ordinary thing to do in a world that was chaotic at the time.

Robert Tyree

4/25/1961-1/10/1991

This belongs to the son of the lady who started Southern Colorado AIDS Project field office in Pueblo, and I can not right now remember what year.  Shirley made this panel herself. It says Loved, Gone, Never Forgot. It also shows him setting by the Golden Gate Bridge. Another healing work of love by a mother left behind. They are together now.

Robert Martinez

4/26/1964-6/5/1991

Another one earlier in the epidemic. I did not know Robert, but I do know he loved music and sunsets. There is a picture of his that shows a beautiful sunset on this panel.

Ronnie Reagan

8/10/1956-2/18/1995

I made this for a friend of Ronnie's. It says "Sleep in peace, my little friend. Terry Atencio". Terry was a man in this town who took in anyone who needed a place to stay, sobered them up and sent them into the world a much better person.  He is also sadly missed, but has no panel as he does not belong on this quilt.

And that is it for this quilt.  You should know that all these panels are here because I first received permission from a family member to make them and add them. Since this is a public display that is shown several times a year there is no breach of confidentiality. I would never do that. When I started in this particular field I signed an affidavit that I would keep confidentiality and that is what I do.

I know sometimes I get a little long winded on these posts, especially when I am dealing with things that rip my heart out, like this series on the AIDS Memorial, but I just ask that you either bear with me, or click off and leave me here to weep alone.

Pueblo AIDS Memorial Quilt #3

This is the third panel that I am highlighting in this series.  Just noticed on this that 2 of our guys passed on the same day.  Probably a lot more about these panels then I noticed at the time.  Taking care of them has been a definite labor of love and I shall miss them when someone else takes over the job.

In the upper left is my friend
Wally Miller
3/15/1965-7/23/2001.
I knew Wally for 3 years before I discovered how well we were connected. I was giving him a ride home and we started talking about the University and when he attended. I told him my son attended during the same time. Who was my son? When I told him it was Sam, he said, "Oh, my God! Sam was my best friend!"  That friendship was soon revived. Wally was such a dear!

  Elsie
6/26/30-/12/03.
I did not know Elsie very well.  Only that she was our oldest client and she loved to cook as well as eat. Her husband was a lot younger than her, but took very good care of her until she passed.

Myron
12/19/72-12/21/03
I did not know Myron well, just that he liked to hunt and especially loved the Colorado Rocky Mountains.

Paul
2/22/62-4/26/03
Paul was a dear and a very lost little soul.  He had the saddest brown eyes in the whole world most of the time, but when he found something amusing they would light up the whole room. He fought alcholism his whole life and lost.

Felix
9/30/66-10-19-2000
I never met Felix, but made this panel and gave him my Mickey and Minnie Mouse because I knew he would want them just by the way he was described to me.  He loved roses and had many of them at his home.

Jenny
8/22/71-9/6/01
This panel was made by her mom and 2 young sons. It is a work of love and it shows.  Her sons are big boys now, but still reflect the gentle nature of their mother.

Dennis
2/8/54-1/19/01
Dennis loved flowers, finer things in life, his home and most of all his dogs.  He is sorely missed by friends and family and the dogs.

Dennis
8/21/50-7/23/01
Here is a guy who knew what good was!  Dennis loved Kentucky Fried Chicken and I think Colonel Sanders was his hero! He also like bright, flamboyant things, to include flowers.

And there you have this installment.  Will try not to let so much time expire next time.  This represents another 8 lives cut short to the disease we pay so little attention to nowadays. I had a guy explain to me the other day that AIDS is now a thing of the past and that there is a cure.  I told him he might want to check that one out a little closer!

The DragonTree in Beulah, Colorado, up close and personal!!

 We were on our way to the park in Buelah.  Just cruising along headed uphill on Highway 78 when this Dragon jumped up right in front of us!  Renate almost ran off the road. I, of course grabbed for my camera, but alas, it was not to be found in this car.

So, being a woman possessed, I decided to go back up with camera in hand on Monday. I had told some of the chatters in my chat room about this, and of course, they thought I was nuts. One of them got online and found Bishop's Castle, but there was nothing online about a DragonTree in Beulah!

Need to give you a little history here.  One of these fellows is a firm believer  that if it is not on Google, it does not exist. Very faithful fellow. I told him I was sure I would know before Google, but he had no faith; hence the trip to Beulah in 105 degree heat. I took a friend with me because he is really tall and I thought he could get better pictures. And he was very sucessful as you can see. Just a shame that I can't get the pictures the size I want or where I want, but that is not his fault! Well, I guess it is my fault, but ....

                                                                                                                                        

 

This is the base of the tree and it is indeed a tree.I spoke with the  man who did this.  His name is John Clay and he does this kind of work on commission.  This one was made for Catherine Halcomb.  Pine Drive used to be a divided road and this tree was in the middle of it.  He said you can still see the old road bed. So Catherine contracted with him and he gathered up his tools and went and created this work of Art!

I will be meeting with Mr. Clay hopefully next week.  He is going to give me all the details of who, what, when and where.  I am very excited about the City of Beulah and I am going to post a lot of pictures and give you a full report on the happenings.  I know they have an Beulah Art show at some point in time and we will be there, front row seats!! And being in the  mountains, the beautiful Rocky Mountains, it will be cool and clean this summer.  What a respite!

If you have some carving you would like done, just give John Clay a call at 719-485-9605. Oh, and be sure and tell him Lou sent you!

In the meantime, enjoy these pictures and don't forget to stop and see Jan, my BFF at the Stompin' Grounds Coffee Shop!

And my words of wisdom for today Keep your eyes open so you do not miss the Dragons in your life!!

Pueblo AIDS Memorial Quilt #2

This is the second panel I am highlighting. I don't know if you realize, but these are not presented in the order of constuction, but in a rather willy nilly fashion that pleases me.  And what is that saying, "If momma is happy, everybody is happy!"

In the upper left corner we have a particular favorite of mine. I made this out of the slinky stuff you would use for a dress if you were someone who wanted to show case something! I made it as a pillow case while Allan was still with us, but he soon learned it was nothing you could sleep on, because it made you sweat! I had also made him a nature stationary to hang on his wall. But that shall be another post! Allan was born 4/29/1967 and passed 5/26/99. We had a surprise birthday party for him a week early.  Good thing! He was Colorado Diving Champion one year. He was offered a "Full Ride" Scholarship to Brown University which he declined because family was more important to him.  My adopted son is named after him. He weighed 83 pounds when he died. His mother passed a few years later.  I miss them both!

Below Allan is Reverend Blong.  3/15/1926 to 7/26/1999. He was a very beloved Priest to a friend of mine.  I made this panel for her.

The next one is Jeffery 12/22/1963-8/9/2000.  I did not know Jeffery although I made this panel. The world has lost an artist!

The last one on the left is for my friend Judy.  11/14/1946-10/14/2000. Now here was a woman who knew how to cook!! Mashed potatoes required BOTH butter and heavy cream and butter on top!  I am sure she is in charge of the kitchen up THERE!

The top one on the right is for Tracey 2/22/1964-8/6/1999. Tracey was a very lovely girl. She actually died of heart problems, exasperated by the medications.  I made the basic panel, but it was designed and painted on my her friend,Mike.

The second on the right is for Daniel. 4/22/1954-1/30/1998.  There are 2 necklaces on here that Daniel wore constantly. He was a very colorful fellow. I made this panel for his mother.

Now we come to Mark. This person did not want anything known about Mark, but did want to memorialize him in some way. She comes when the quilt is on display.

And now we come to one of the more moving panels.  This is for our little Daniel Yarnell. He was born 10/10/1984-9/22/2000.  He was not 16 yet when he passed. His mother made this panel for him and since she has also written a book about their journey, I am sure she will not begrudge me using his name.  Daniel was so special. He loved Beanie Babies and had a website with some of his pictures on there. On hot, hot days, when we had picnics at the office, Daniel would show up in his coat, mittens and a wool hat.  How can your heart not bleed for this kind of suffering?  Daniel will always hold a special corner of my heart, as does Allan.

As I think back, there is not one I have written about yet that does not own a piece of Lou Mercer! And we still have more to meet.