In the hallowed halls of Washington.....

Now I do not usually get on a soap box here, but today is probably  going to be an exception.  As you all know, we have just come through another crisis.  Narrowly averted all of us old people being thrown out in the street because we did not get our social security checks.  Hey!  I am sorry I am such a burden to you idiots up there, but let me tell you how it works here at my house.

For many years both my late husband and myself punched a clock and collected a check with which we raised our children and sent them forth to do the same thing we did.  We knew how much money we had and we managed to keep a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs.  We had no deficit nor a debt ceiling we could move around.  We exhausted our borrowing power when we bought the house and the car and whatever else we needed.  But now that we are old and just want to kind of coast, we have a bunch of idiots in charge of the ship that are headed straight for the sand barge!  And to really add insult to injury , I am a supposed to be happy that they can now borrow more money.

I am sorry!  I had a step son once who came home all dejected from the bank where he had gone to borrow money for another car.  They turned him down because, while he had a stellar credit rating and unlimited borrowing power he had "no way to pay it back!"  And there in lies the key.  There is what our Congress is missing in the equation.  Sure we can borrow money, but how are we going to pay it back?  And when they start talking about a "super committee that can act alone" my heart leaps in my throat.  Congress already has more power than they should and now they want to appoint an elite group that even they can not control?  You see nothing wrong with this picture?

And now they are up there going around patting themselves on the back because they got together and passed a bill that they can borrow more money!  What am I missing here?  They are all proud because they are going to pass a bill that says they must have a balanced budget?  Where have I been? If my budget gets out of whack, I don't eat.  It is very simple.  But they want to throw my check out the window and let it bounce?  What about their checks?  What are we going to do with them?  Oh, reward them with a raise! 

You know I read about the survivalists that hole up in the mountains and do not even have to come to town to get bullets and I start eyeballing the Ford and wondering how quick I can get it to go up that hill!  I do it all like I am supposed to.   I read, I educate myself on the issues, I disregard party affiliation and vote my conscience.  I try to be honest and help the less fortunate.  I attend and support my church.  I listen and I talk.  And I live within my means.  Oh, there is one for the record books.  If I have it, I spend it.  If I run out, I find a way to earn more.  Or I simply do without!

Government!!  It is a bit early in the morning for me to start processing the drivel they want me to be fed.  So, here is the deal at my house and perhaps one or two of the government officials would like to come follow this old lady around.  First, I am going to fire up the lawn mower and mow my grass while it is cool.  That will save me paying someone else to do it. $20 back in my pocket.  Then I am going to list a bunch of stuff on ebay.  When it sells I will get a small percentage.  Sell $100 worth and after I pay my fees and such, there goes another $15 in my pocket.  Going to make some Gluten Free bread and brownies for a few friends who pay me to do that.  After I deduct the cost of my supplies, there goes another $15 into my pocket.  I will pull the weeds in the garden and toss them over the fence to my geese and save probably $2 on goose grain.  So today I will make $52 not by borrowing it, but by doing it myself.  Think the government could ever grasp this concept?  I start at 5 in the morning and quit at 9 at night.  That makes me a 16 hour day.  That figures to be $3.25 an hour.  Course I am free to come and go as I please and if it does not get done today, it will still be there tomorrow.   And the best part about earning money here at home?  I get to pay taxes on it!

Well, I must get my day started or I will not get my day done and I will be standing on the corner with my hand out.  I hope you all are as proud of that bunch we sent to Washington as I am.  ;)

It is official, my life is in the crapper, again.

Yep!  I am once more drowning in a sea of "what in the world was I thinking!"  My little life usually goes along on an even keel; some times I win, some times I lose, and all is well, because it is life.  I am busy most, if not all of the time, but I do take time to smell the roses.  Life is good as I stand here like a deer in the headlights and watch the last little bit of freedom I know disappear under a pile of eBay items that need to be listed, quilts that need quilted, thread that needs spun and woven, garden that needs tilled, hats that need embroidered, meals that need cooked, dogs that need petted, and friends that "need to talk".

I have never learned to say no.  It is a word that is completely forgien to my vocabulary.  I have not learned the art of sitting quietly and watching a movie, reading a book, or just contemplating my navel. Lyn and I planned our vacation yesterday.  At least we picked the dates.  She, of course, had to give me the lecture about how this time "You will relax and not be heading for home the next day."  She knows me and I thank her for trying and maybe this time it will work. 

Now, this all sounds good, but this is something that throws me into a tail spin.  We started talking about this a couple weeks ago and the cloud of dread slowly floated over my head and began to settle on my shoulders.  With the cloud of dread came the depression that creeps in at times of dire stress in my life.  So, I bit the bullet and the dates are set.

Do not misunderstand me here, I love to go back home and see the kids, grand kids, sisters, cousins, friends (Hi, Joe!), and just chill.  I love to eat at Skaets.  Kansas City is always a treat with Shirley fussing over us.  I love to drive and take pictures and every moment I am on my vacation, I count the moments until I can get back home.  I can not relax.  I can not remember the last time I just let go and relaxed.  You know, the one where you lay on a hill and watch a cloud float past, or set on a creek bank and wait for that old cat fish to bite?  When I am back there I think how great it would be to live there.  You know, just pick up and move back.  It all sounds so simple; just move.

But with home comes memories and with memories comes sadness.  Sadness for a life that could have been; a life that should have been.  Dreams of a little country home and a picket fence and kids in the yard and a puppy barking at the cat.  And with sadness comes depression.  And with depression comes memories and the cycle starts all over again.  If I could go back and make the choices I should have made, who would I be today?  But, I can not do that, can I?  With age comes wisdom, or so they say.  With age comes hopelessness and dread.  I had one shot at this life and I think I may have screwed it up.  Deer in the head lights!

So this is Holy Week.  I take consolation in that.  I also take consolation in the fact that only a few of my friends and family read this, so they will not know how nuts I actually am.  So maybe some one out there can flip my switch and tell me how I can salvage what is left?  Some one sent me an email the other day, which I read in my typical every other line fashion, but I think I got the gist. 

Lord, help me when I complain about having to fix supper, to remember those who have no food.  When I complain about the cost of gas, help me be thankful that I have a car and can get around.  When I complain about having to clean house, help me be thankful that I have a home.  When I complain about the long walk to the duck house, help me be thankful that I can walk, and see, and feel.  And when I am antsy because a friend drops by to take me from my chores, be thankful that I have friends.  Amen

There!  I might have solved my problems.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRoVH5u9Qk8&feature=related

Grand kids, great grand kids, dogs and ducks abound at my house.

This is what I call two little great grandsons at my house.  These pictures were taken when the son was here a few weeks back.  Those two belong to the grand daughter, September.  The little one is on Sam's lap and the big one is being held still by Great Grandma Lou.  Those kids can move faster than I can blink.  See the little one there has already broken his arm once and healed it up.  He could crawl up on furniture and leap off way before he could walk.  He started walking when he was 9 months old and running at 9 1/2!  The older one was raised on Baby Einstien and I think he started Calculus when he was 3.      

Now these little play pretties belong to the Grandson, Jason.  He in turn belongs to my middle daughter, Dona.  This picture is over a year old, but aren't they little blondies?  The pictures of my kids when they were small shows them all to be very blonde.  Course it helped that my husband, their father was a platinum blond German guy.  Drop dead gorgeous, but that is neither here nor there, so to speak.   Dona was the only one that kept the blonde hair.  She does not use anything, it just stayed blond.  But aren't these little honeys precious?

You met 3 more of my great grand kids back in Longton last summer.  Now understand this and why I do it this way...these are great grandkids that can be traced back directly to my and Earl's blood line.  I got a  ton of grandkids when I count the steps and the step greats would be completely over the top, but those kids have other grandmothers that can rightfully lay claim to them on both sides of the family.  Mine are reduced to just me.  Grandpa has been gone many years, so it is just me left to hold down the fort here, so to speak.  I keep thinking someone of them will be interested in a little of the family history, but so far not much.  So I continue to blog away and have them printed and stuck in a drawer so some day, if some one wonders, there will at least be a tiny peek at my life.  Not so much to see what I did or did not accomplish, but rather so they can see where their roots are planted.

I never dreamed when I ran barefooted down the country roads in Nickerson, Kansas what lay ahead for me, nor behind for that matter.  But now, when I look back I can see it so clearly.  I have become my mother!  Mother had 1 son and 5 daughters.  I ended up with 2 sons and 4 daughters.  Six either way you count.  Mama worked her whole life to raise us kids.  I worked my whole life to raise mine.  She never really got done and neither have I!  She ended up with 13 grand kids, mine total 8.  Then she ended up with 20 greats and I total 7.  So while I was the most prolific of her children, I am whittling the numbers down.

Oh, it is a little early in the morning to think so hard.  It is shaping up to be a very pretty day, so I think I will grab my gloves and head out to do some raking and burning.  But first maybe one more cup of coffee and let me look at pictures for a bit.....life is good!

It is me and my momma!!

Do you see those 2 youngsters up there?  The one on the left is me and the one on the right is my momma.  Course I am a lot younger there and from the way I am propped up on the pillows I appear to be about 7 or 8 months old.  But just look at that smile!  I was pretty happy about something.  Probably had just been fed and was nice and dry! This picture is in a silver frame that is absolutely beautiful so I am sure my momma loved me when she stuck me in there all those years ago.

Now take a look at momma!  I bet she is about 4 or 5.  Got her a puppy and is one happy little girl!  I think she might be setting on the porch of whatever general store they lived close to. I imagine it was in Plevna or perhaps Abbyville.  I do love those leggings and boots!  Wish I could get me a pair of them right now!!

I have a picture in my store on eBay of a girl herding a flock of geese and I swear it could be my mother.  Has the same leggings and boots, but has a head scarf on her head.  Remember those?  Well, most of you probably don't!

So I am going to take these two pictures out of the bottom of that box and put them here on the computer desk so I can just glance over there and remember my roots.  That way when I get to thinking I am nobody important I can remember that it was women like my momma and her momma and grandmother that made this country what it is today.  I still got those same genes pulsing through my body and through my children's blood.

So I will go out singing

"I am woman, hear me roar, in numbers to big to ignore!"