It is a beautiful day today, but I may get frost bit this morning.

Well, I see this thing is not going to work with me today! Don't you just hate it when you belly up to the computer and it just looks at you with it's blank screen? I started typing and nothing was there. Finally I did the html thing and told it I wanted black as my color. It told me my html was incorrect, but here I am! It is not good dealing with anything smarter than I am that thinks it wants whatever I do not. So now to the subject at hand.

Here we are in the middle of September. The fair is over, the peaches are canned, the pickles are made and I am on strike. I have not made saurkraut, canned tomatoes, nor made hot salsa that is so popular around this neck of the woods. I have priced Pueblo Chiles, but I have not gotten any further in the process, nor do I think I will.

I live alone except for the boy and the girl who are never home and when they are they do not eat the same fare that I consume. They are carnivores and while I do on occasion partake of the flesh, it is mostly the vegetable and fruit stuff that finds it's way through my system. At some point in time I decided I would like to live forever. I have since rethought that also.

Back to the subject at hand for I do most definitely digress. I love Spring. Hope springs eternal at that time of year. I dearly love summer and I don't mind sweating. Do not like it running in my eyes, but other than that, I am good to go. But Fall! I know when fall is here and it is here. I go out early in the morning and the air smells different. The air feels different. There is a feeling in a fall morning that only experiencing it can discribe. It is crisp. I do not have words in my small vocabulary to properly convey to you a fall morning.

So you need to do this; Arise early tomorrow morning. It is 6:22 here now and the sky is just beginning to lighten. It is not quite time for the sun to start streaking the horizon, but I am sure it is close. There is a breeze stirring the cottonwood outside my window and fall is in the air! Very soon Jack Frost will start sprinkling my car window with his little white covering and it will be official. I am predicting the first official frost about the time of my birthday, so watch for it.

But in the meantime I am going to leave the air conditioner uncovered, leave the plants outside, and think about maybe doing some more canning. Who knows. This is Colorado and it is nothing to see a 50 degree fluctuation on any given day. It is a wonder we have not all cracked!

And what is it like where you are hanging your hat today? Amy, in Florida is probably working up a sweat already,huh? Slow down, girl, it will be there tomorrow! Get my bed ready cause I am thinking on doing some traveling south this Winter!

It is always darkest before the dawn, or Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition!

Ever been really sad?  Ever felt like some one had just jerked the rug out from under you and kicked you in the gut?  Not a very good feeling and it usually takes  a couple days to get back on your feet and remember the lessons your momma taught you.  But first you have those few days to get through. 

When faced with one of these situations, the first instinct is to flee.  But when you see the storm clouds gathering and you know it is about to dump on you there is one place to go and that is to bed.  Always safe there.  Sure it is safe, but it is very lonely. It is very lonely and the night is very long. It is the fear of the unknown that brings on this phenomena known as "What is going to happen?"  How many different scenarios are there? What if...what if...what if?  And then it is morning.

Morning and we now have to get up and face the day and the "what if" of last night.  But the best part is that today you find out just what it is that you will be facing.  If it is a medical issue, you get an answer and then make plans to deal with the ramifications.  Water bill not paid?  Take care of it during business hours.  A test at school? Should have studied, but now you will know just how much you did remember.  Death of some one or relationship ending (which I equate as being one and the same and should be handled in the same way)?  So we venture off and make our "final arrangements" either at the funeral home or the coffee shop.  During the former we set a final time to bury our beloved and during the latter we just grab the shovel and throw a little more dirt at each other, establish that the blame is definitely not ours and walk away.

In any case, the second night is easier to deal with because we have done something constructive.  We know that tomorrow we will see the fruits of our labor coming to fruition. Going to start our chemo tomorrow.  Water is on so you can wash that pile of dishes.  Failed cooking class so now maybe you can choose a new career, like you could be a lawyer!  Put one body in the ground and kick the other to the curb! 

And so the third night comes and you are exhausted.  Dishes are done, new career on the horizon, and you got a lot of time now to do the things you have been putting off!

I been writing in second person, but I shall now change to first person because this is a true story.  Stay with me here and learn from the master!

 It is his loss, cause he lost the best thing that ever was in hislife and I know it!  He will no doubt realize it in time and that is when I can set back and reap the fruits of my labor!  The Good Lord does know what he is doing at all times, just takes me a little time to figure it out.  But Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition, there is a new day dawning and I am going to grab that sucker with both hands, look back on my latest learning experience in life's little journey and be a better woman for having lived through that one!  I am a very unique individual and I have a lot to offer this world.  I am better than just another pretty face I am the essence of woman and I will survive!  I learned all this from someone I shall lovingly call "Jade"!

The ugly head of my political beliefs has once more reared it's head!

I remember way back when I was a kid, my mother told me something I did not understand, but through the years has became the backbone of my beliefs.  Mama told me, "Do not ever discuss religion or politics with your friends."  I have always carried this in the back of my mind. 

I do not discuss religion.  Everyone who knows me knows what my thoughts are on the subject and they know where to find me every Sunday morning.  Very few venture to find fault with the fiber that keeps my world in balance and for that I am grateful!

But now the politics is an entirely different matter.  Under no conditions am I allowed to keep those thoughts to myself, so let me tell you how it is.  I apparently am a "Bleeding Heart Liberal and would like to see the country turned into socialistic society and my children and grand children saddled with a debt they can never pay, ..." and I do not remember the rest of the conversation because it was like a Gatling gun going off in my brain. You may think those statements are a tad bit radical, but since I could not get a word in edgewise I fully intend to set here in the solitude of my office and tell anyone who is interested just what I do believe in and why.  no interruptions and if you get tired of reading there is a little x up in the right hand corner that will silence me!

 1.  I believe in truth, justice and the American Way, just like Superman!
 2.  I believe in life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness as long as I do not infringe on someone else's happiness.
 3.  I believe we should all have a chance at the golden ring.
 4.  I believe I should be able to walk down the street without being intimidated by someone bigger than me.
 5.  I believe I should be safe in my home and be able to protect myself and my family by whatever means.
 6.  I do not want  my son to choke and gasp for breathe because he is not covered by insurance because he has a pre-existing condition of asthma.
 7.  I believe my tax dollars should go for something besides bullets to kill some one in another country when my own country is in turmoil and people are dying in the streets here from hunger, stray bullets, drugs and the endless litany of ills and woes.
 8.  I believe children should be safe to grow up in their own homes and that child abusers should be stoned.
 9.  Drugs should be illegal, oh wait, they are!  I believe laws should be enforced.
10. I don't think animals should be mistreated.
11. I believe you and I were created equal, regardless of the color or our skin, male or female, short or tall, gay or straight, rich or poor.
12. I believe the government will do what the government does and if this administration screws it up, another one will screw it up worse. That is how it has always been and that is how it will always be and I am not personally responsible for what Bush, or Obama or anyone did  or will do. You may holler all you want it will not change a damn thing!

So you can call me a "Bleeding Heart Liberal", but here you have what I think and and now I have said it myself.  You go to your church and I'll go to mine, but we'll both walk along together........or not.

Disclaimer: If I have offended anyone with this missive, I apologize. Try to remember that I did have that rule about not discussing politics or religion and I made the rule for a reason. So, leave me a comment, call...or not.

How Beulah, Colorado was saved by the dairy farmers.

                                                                             This is a totem right in front of the volunteer fire station in beautiful Beulah, Colorado.  The sign on it reads "This tale might have been very short had it not been about a cow."  This is located across the street from the Beulah Post Office.  It is also located in front of the fire station and the man who carved this is in a small room behind the fire station.  These people make really good use of space, I'm here to tell you.

This is a full shot of the totem as it stands.  It is hard to see the little cottage on the top and the intricate work that went into that!  You are actually going to need to jump in the car and drive on out there and take a look.  Call me if you need directions!                                                                

The next picture shows a close up of the cow.  You can also see a few peas in the pod there, although I do not know what they symbolize.  I can also see a goose that seems to have laid some rather golden eggs.

Now, I lost my notes on this, but I am going to try to relate the story to you briefly as it was told to me. It seems several years back the beautiful mountain community of Beulah found itself in the throes of a drought.  There was no rain and no signs of rain.  The snow melt had already found it's way down the mountain and as you all know, water does not run uphill.

People were hauling water for drinking as best they could but how would you like to try to haul all your water you use everyday up the hill and try to store it?  Ah, to the rescue came the dairy farmers! They had the means to haul milk to market and the return trip could be carrying water!  Of course, they had to make a few extra trips, but that is how the dairy farmers saved the town of Beulah from extinction.  Seems like I recall reading about this after I had relocated to Colorado, so I know it was in the last 30 years. 

So this work was commissioned by folks in Beulah in honor of the dairy farmers.  This totem was created by John Clay who has made several of these totems around the Beulah area. John gave me a map of the locations of some of his art work in the area and if you are interested just leave me a note. 

I am sort of keeping my eyes open around his shop cause he has a big tree root back behind that he is starting to whittle away on and when it is finished it will be "The Dragon's Nest."  That is all I am going to tell you about that.  I plan on doing an update on John in the very near future and showing you pictures of his shop and the band aid box on the wall!

In the meantime, if you want to get a hold of John and have him carve up one of your dead trees, his number is 719-485-9605, and as always, just tell him Lou sent you!

          

Skaets Steak Shop, Hutchinson, Kansas and Tom devouring the Moon Burger!

No trip back east is ever complete without a stop at Skaet's Steak Shop.  It is a family tradition for many people and especially for me!  When I was 17 years old, I decided to strike out on my own since I was almost an adult.  This entailed a job and I lucked into a very good job.  Now I look back and think perhaps it was not the brilliant future I first thought it to be, but at that time, washing dishes at Skaet's Steak Shop was my pinnacle to success!  I will not go into all the history of this place at this time only tell you that at that time it was owned by Norman Duschene and his wife.

Skaet's Steak Shop is located on the front entrance to the Kansas State Fair grounds in Hutchinson, Kansas at 23rd and Main.  This is not the original store front.  When I worked there the windows were from ceiling to floor and you could literally freeze to death waiting for your food.  That is a lie!  But you could really feel the cold.  Over the years it has been remodeled by various owners until it stands as you see it today.  It is currently owned by Karen Leshure and Donna Bartholomew, and therein lies my story.  You see, Donna is my sister!  Yes, I was originally Louella Bartholomew.  Ah, now there is also another story.  But I digress.  This is about Skaet's Steak Shop and the conception of The Moon Burger!

Enter in the front door of Skaet's Steak Shop and you are greeted by the sight of the counter and the grill.  All the food is cooked right in front of the customers, which has always been a draw.  No wondering what goes on here that you don't see because you see it all.  Karen is a stickler for cleanliness and the crew does their best to please her.

Now see that guy right there in the shirt that says "Tan Naked"?  In all fairness I did not notice him until just this moment.  He does have a very good idea there, although I am a pansy little white girl and was taught early in life to keep my clothes on unless in the act of procreating, which I have done very prolifically and there I digress again!  What I am trying to tell you is to look at the back splash on that grill!  Man could shave in that!

Now here is what we came to see!  Many years ago, when man first walked on the moon, it was decided that it should be commemorated some how by Skaet's.  Thus was born the mighty Moon Burger!  The Moon Burger is now a tradition in Hutchinson, Kansas at the Steak Shop.  They are known for good lean meat in their hamburgers and this is no exception.  First comes the lightly toasted bun, then the lean hamburger patty, a slice of premium cheese, then not one, but 2 slices of crisp bacon, followed by lettuce, onion, tomato and pickles, and the final generous dollop of mayonnaise.  Perfection in a bun!  The plate is then garnished with an overly generous serving of french fries or hash browns, your choice.

The Moon Burger is such a tradition that when my brother in law, Tommy Shea passed  (God only remembers how many years ago.) the entourage to the cemetery had to stop in front of Skaet's Steak Shop for a moment of silence.  And you know what?  I think I actually heard Tommy sigh!

Now, see that guy eating that Moon Burger or rather, wanting to eat that Moon Burger?  Notice the strong jaw line as he poses with the burger right there, ready to be devoured.  Notice the glint in his eye as he is determined not to bite until Aunt Lou says it is alright.  What a fine picture or restraint! 

That is my nephew, Tom Bartholomew.  He is Donna Bartholomew's only son.  His wife, Alina, is over on my left holding the new 3 day old baby who is Donna's only grand daughter.  Again, I digress.  What I want to tell you is I took many pictures of this Moon Burger on it's way to Tommy's mouth so I could show it to my son, who was heart broken that I did not bring him back a Moon Burger!  See, you can get Bacon Cheeseburgers all over the country, but only at Skaet's Steak Shop can you partake of the Moon Burger.

If you ever get down in the vicinity of Hutchinson, Kansas, be sure to stop in and see Karen and Donna. Tell them Lou sent you and I am sure someone will actually acknowledge that they know me or at least heard of me at some time or another.  I make it down a couple times a year.  Maybe I could meet up with you there!!

Southern Colorado AIDS Project at Publo Pride Day!

Here I am on August 22, 2010 down on the HARP River  Walk at Pueblo Gay Pride Day.  These are a few of my friends from Southern Colorado AIDS Project.  On the left is the Reverend John Mark Hild of the Metropolitan Community Church here in Pueblo.  Directly behind me is Eric, a volunteer. The tall good looking guy there is Bill Sharpton.  He works for SCAP in the Colorado Springs office. If you recall the white panel on the AIDS Quilt with all the AA coins is his sister, Marty.

Gay Pride was quite a little event this year.  Makes me remember back to the beginning of my venture into the Gay Community in Pueblo.  I think it must have been about 1990 or 91 when I found PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). There were 3 of us mothers and we met in the basement of the Red Cross Building on Pueblo Boulevard and prayed no one would know we were there.  We've come a long way, baby!

We now have a presence all over Pueblo in the form of youth groups, activist groups, clinics, support groups, World AIDS Day services, Southern Colordao Equality Alliance, and a scholarship program at the Community College.  I am sure there is much more, but this is good for now.  I am very proud to say the torch has been passed to a new generation and us old ladies that were there in the beginning can now set back and let the young'uns handle the load.  They have boundless energy and are all gung ho' on this and I am very glad.  This is one time we can truly enjoy the fruits of our labors.  Was not sure I would see this day 20 years ago.

Hey, have a good one today and every day, bearing in mind that Neil Armstrong made is own statement years ago when he said, "That is one step for man, and one giant step for mankind!"  Keep putting one foot in front of the other whether you are on the moon or in Pueblo, Colorado, or Podunk, Georgia.  Any step forward is something to be proud of and 2 other mothers and myself are proud of Pueblo, Colorado!!

Pueblo AIDS Memorial Quilt #6; Final entry.

It is a shame that my camera has decided to give me only blurry pictures.  When I get my new camera I will replace this blurry little thing!  But for now, I just want to get this finished and be done with it, and move on to other things.

This panel will start in the upper right hand corner with

Mike Darrell

7/22/57-6/26/2006

Mike was a very good friend to both myself and my husband.  He came here from Houston, Texas with a friend.  He was a handyman of sorts and a mechanic extraordinare.  He loved his motorcycle and rode it wherever he went if there was not a hurricane gale blowing.  He could fix the car or the diesel truck.  What ever needed done.  He was also an artist and a musician.  I do not know how many flutes ( and I call them that for want of a better word ) he had.  I think they were Irish pipes and that boy loved Irish music.  His head was full of  music!  He and his friend started going to my church, but soon found it was not the proper match and went across town to the Christ Chapel.  He was very active over there and fit like a glove. 

I miss Mike very much.

The blue on on the bottom left belongs to
James Smith
1957-3/29/2005
James was a good friend to my friend, Robert.  Robert helped make this panel and he knew James loved Christmas.

The one on the right belongs to
Gilbert Finn
4/18/59-1/6/07
This was Robert's very best friend.  They were together constantly and Robert is pretty much lost without Gilbert.  He also loved Christmas. Robert put a lot of thought and love into both of these panels.
Now last, but definitely not least, we come to my friend
Mark Belarde
3/28/67-12/29/06
This picture shows Mark and me on Santa Claus's lap at the AIDS Christmas party in 2002.  I am not sure that this was the real Santa. I first met Mark in 1992 (I think). He was riding a bike, walking and very active.  He was the proud possessor of 75 T Cells.  Shortly there after his mother passed from a massive heart attack.  I told Mark that I would do what I could to take her place in his life.  I made that my mission.
I registered as his Personal Care Provider through Argus Home Health. Thus began my career in the AIDS Health care Services, but that is a whole 'nuther story!

I started out working with him 6 hours a week, just doing laundry and household chores that he needed help with.  Mark had a very strong constitution, but unfortunately the meds never worked for him.  As years passed slowly by his immune system weakened and his T cells fell. the last 3 years of his life they hovered around the 2 mark.  At one time they were zilch.  I graduated to more hours and was finally doing 48 hours a week and a family member spent nights with him.

I will not bore you with details of our 15 year's together, suffice it to say, I became very attached to Mark and his family.  I became the mother he had lost and he became the son who needed me.  Through trips to the emergency room and  picnics in the mountains, long walks and dirty laundry, physical therapy and shopping trips, eating out and eating in, we formed a bond that can never be broken. 

I finally came to the realization that I could no longer take care of Mark.  I knew I could not do it and he could not do it.  It was time to let go.  The hardest part of life always seems to be the letting go part.  We can do until we are at the point where no more can be done and we realize it must be done.

So it is fitting that
Mark Belarde
be my final entry in this journey to completion of the Pueblo AIDS Memorial Quilt.

With a heavy heart I bid a fond farewell to all my friends who have gone before and will keep the flicker of hope alive that some where, some how I can live long enough to see a cure and a vaccine for this dreadful disease.  Until that day, I will continue to work with AIDS clients. I will add panels to my quilt and display it when called upon to do so.  I will pray ceaselessly and support the cause in whatever way I can.  Will you join me?