Icarus at work!

 This is Icarus!  This is my calico cat that loves me to distraction!  It is about 5:00 AM and we just got up a little bit ago.  See, what you do not know, and can not see because I can not take a picture of us in bed is that I sleep on my side and she sleeps on my shoulder!  At some point I will wake up enough to push her off my arm.  She then puts her nose against my nose and gives me tiny licks. It is at this point I remember where that tongue has been and cover my head up.  She will then content herself with laying with both front paws on my hands and we drift off again.

Now I know you people out there are wise in the ways of the world as well as the workings of the feline creatures we call our friends.  And indeed, they are our friends!  Icarus does not go out and catch mice simply to be catching a mouse.  She knows I am incapable of catching one, so she does it for me. 
She  loves me!  Now I have told you the sleeping arrangements here, so tell me this......what goes on while I am sleeping?  I can only hope she does not think I want dinner when I am laying there with my mouth agape snoring.  That could be a very rude awakening.  And she does not know that I have never eaten a centipede!  I am afraid to tell her for fear she will misinterpret that as meaning I am feeling adventurous and might like to munch on one! 

 Now you see her reading her notebook here.  How she gets in that little hole between the monitor and all my very important notes I wish I knew!  The modem is back there and apparently she knows that I need to leave that plugged in so she leaves it alone.  The cursor catches her attention fairly easily as does the letters marching across the screen.  She puts her nose right on the screen and I can come up with some interesting writing if one finger wanders.  I tell myself she is reading what I write!  I am very glad I kicked in the extra money for the larger monitor so she could see better!

I came home the other night after dark and saw two sets of eyes out by the duck house.  You know how big those eyes look in your headlights!  I thought it was a couple mountain lions, but it turned out Icarus had a friend over to scout out the place.  It was the neighbors calico, so she is keeping good company!  She goes out to the fowl house with me every morning and evening when I do chores.  One morning she thought she might like to sneak up on one of the ducks.  Goosey Gander seen her and came up behind her!  When Icarus spotted him she shot about 8 feet straight up in the air!  Never have a camera when I need it most!

Now I will give you a few facts and then get out of here.  Calico cats are to the best of my knowledge always female.  Cats are very clean animals especially when you take into consideration that they go in their litter box for their toilette, walk across it and then proceed to lick there feet.  Then they want to come and kiss us.  Cats can be devoted to us and still remain completely independent.  Most aloof animals on the face of God's green earth.  While cats and dogs seem to be mortal enemies, mine will all sleep on the same pillow.  Icarus got her bluff in early!

I do know the name Icarus comes from a Greek God or something of the male persuasion and was someone that flew to close to the sun and melted his wings.  She was actually named by a "person of interest" who is no longer in my life, but I left her named Icarus just to remind me of why he is no longer in my life!  So, I am out of here, but on my way out the door, I want to share with you what someone shared with me.....

In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king!

Just think about that!

SCAP is represented here at World AIDS Day.

Here is the Southern Colorado AIDS Project table, although in all honesty it is now known as Southern Colorado Health Network operating as SCAP or vice versa.  I forget.  When I started my volunteer work there more years ago than I like to admit it was SCAP and so that is how I will remember it and that is the name I will use because it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks.  Arf! Arf!

Starting with the back row we have John Mark Hild, minister at the Metropolitan Community Church here in our fair city.  Next is me and then my com padre, Aaron. Aaron is my buddy and makes me laugh like a loon!  Not often I find someone with a mind that works like mine!  See the back row all has on the Focus shirt.  We do that so we remember who we are.

On the front row on the left is the lovely Linda Lorraine, SCAP case manager and other things.  She is our stabilizing force and we love her.  She is always there when we need her, and she is there when we do not need her, and when we need her, but don't know we need her.  The woman is what you call "devoted".  That happens in this business.  Show up a few times and pretty soon you feel like you are needed!

And last but certainly not least is Bill Sharpton.  He works in the Colorado Springs office which is our boss.  I do not know exactly what his title is, but  do know he is single!  His sister was a very good friend of mine and I miss her so much.  Somewhere I have pictures of Marty and the big red turkey that liked to come visit at my house, especially when Marty was there.  That turkey loved that girl and tried to set on her lap and I have pictures of that little endeavour. 

OK, there you have us in all our glory.  Motley looking crew that we are!  Hey, we try!  If we could clone these four people here we could set this world on fire because these are some of the best Colorado has to offer and I am damn glad to be standing in the middle of the finest Colorado has to offer! 

It seems as I wind this down that I have been given a most rare opportunity to work side by side with some of the greatest people on this earth.  In all my years of bopping around with the SCAP crowd, the Pueblo Community Health Center, Pueblo Health Department, the Gay Community..........I am sorry!  The whole of Southern Colorado is tied together and I can not name names without missing some one or some place.  Just know if you are reading this, Lou Mercer loves everyone of you and I thank God every day that he put everyone of you in my path!

Together we are going to fight the good fight and since we are all winners, you know what that means!

Home is where the heart is.

The other day, well today actually , I received an email from a friend and in it he was explaining to me where his home was located and the layout of his home.  He also said it was in the ghetto, but he was happy there.  I told him that home is where the heart is and that got me to thinking.  Where is my heart?  Where is the one place that is my sanctuary, that I feel safe and loved and wanted?  After much soul searching, I know.

Where I am now is a very nice house and I have an acre of land.  Not big enough for anything, but a little too big for nothing.  This house is solid, warm in the winter and cool in the summer.  I am located so I get very little traffic and it is quiet.  No one comes here unless I draw them a map and then they get lost.  I am almost secluded, but the neighbors know I am here and watch out for me.  That is good.  But where is my heart?

It is in Nickerson, Kansas at 709 Strong Street.  That was my ghetto; my wrong side of the tracks. It did not have running water.  We heated with a wood stove and cooked on a wood stove in the kitchen.  The out house was on the back of the lot.  Sears catalog and the whole bit.  Those were just the times.  I think we were the only street in town that was that far back in time, but there you have it.  Now you may ask why anyone in their right mind would go back to a hovel like that and I am here to tell you.

We were all there together.  Momma cleaned houses and put food on the table.  Cereal was cheap back then and we ate a lot of that and other grains.  Apples and Carp (You know that bony trash fish that other people throw away.)  We had fried apples, baked apples, boiled apples, apple sauce and I do not to this day eat a cooked apple in any way shape or form.  Don't eat Carp either.  Those are nasty!  Dad was there in his own little way.  He share cropped with a farmer and he was one of the last to give up the team of horses (and only then because they died of old age ) and never bought a tractor.

My baby sister Dorothy was there with her big brown eyes and dimples.  Mary was there with her long beautiful hair and her petite little body.  Donna was the serious one who ate the middle out of the loaf of bread after school.  My brother Jake was there and had not gone to the Army yet which he did by altering  his birth certificate at the age of  16.  Josephine had not eloped  yet. 

We had clod fights.  We walked to the sand pit.  I fished off the Bull Creek bridge while Jake and his buddies swam naked in a hole a little further upstream.  We had two creeks in Nickerson, Bull Creek and Cow Creek.  Also had the Arkansas River.  Every spring they flooded and isolated the town.  In the winter the Arkansas froze and had to be dynamited.  Old Black Joe lived on the river in a pile of lumber and made silver jewelry with turquoise stones and he was Jake's friend.  Momma was mortified to find out Jake hung out with the likes of him.  He died on the river.
We never had a dog.  Never had a cat.  Jake and I listened to the Grand Ole Opry on the car radio because the radio in the kitchen would not pick it up.  WSM in Nashville as I recall.  We had electricity eventually and got a pump in the kitchen.  The out house remained.  I attended Elementary school in Nickerson and went to 2 1/2 years of high school there. Came back to there after living with my Grandma my first  half of my Freshman year.  Smoked my first cigarette there.  Learned about God and salvation there.  Forgot about it there. Won a three speed English racing bike there by getting the most "Our Family" labels off of canned goods.  Flew my kite into a tree at the cemetery and could not get it down.  Watered the sweet potatoes and a spider got on my foot.  Momma had her hysterectomy there when I was in the seventh grade. 

The Reinke girls lived next door with their dad because their mom had died when the youngest was born.  I was glad my momma was still alive.  If we wanted ice for the ice box we had a card to put in the window with how much we wanted right side up.  All the doors used a skeleton key and you didn't lock the door because everybody had a skeleton key.  Whittling  Joe and Johnny Carson lived up on the highway and they let the chickens come in there house. Pop was a nickle and that was a lot of money. Ora Ayers rode her stick horse because she wasn't quite right in the head.  And we better be good cause the Gypsy's were camped outside of town and might come steal us.  We were poor, but poor was a state of mind.  There were people who had less then us

When I can not sleep, I walk the streets of Nickerson, Kansas.  I pass the feed store, the grocery store, the church and I say my prayers and fall into the most blissful sleep.

So my memories go on and on.  My ghetto lives in my heart and mind and everything I am today and will be in the future is because I was there and it impacts me forever.  So find your ghetto, or grotto, or wherever your safe place is and hang on to it with both hands.  It is your heritage.  It is your lifeline.  When life is stripped away and I stand before my maker, I know he will see a skinny knock kneed little girl with tangled hair and dirty bare feet and he will say, "Get in here you little urchin!  I been waiting for you to get home!"
And I will waltz in those pearly gates and up those streets of gold just like I belonged there.  Nickerson, Kansas is a state of mind!

And now, the candle light service for World AIDS Day.

This is our tree all decorated on December 1, 2010.  The red ribbons each have at least one name of someone who has been claimed by AIDS.  We were inside for the program and when it was over we picked up a candle and wrote a name on a ribbon and processed out to the amphitheater.  When we got outside the candles were lit, because there was some sort of something in balloons and the community college did not want us waving flamesaround. 

                                Up on top there is my friend Diane from the Indian Nation who is also the nurse at the Pueblo Community Health Center who holds sway at the Collaborative Clinic.  She is in her native dress and the woman is a real beauty.  And want to know something else?  She has a twin sister so if you happen to have access to this album you will see a close up of her also.  If you look back there behind Eddie Three Eagles and to the right of the drummer you can see them.  Aren't they cute?

So, anyway, after we got outside, we hung our ribbons on the tree and said aloud the names that we were placing there.  I only did two names this year.  I get tired of putting my friends on a tree.  I guess I am selfish that way and over the years my list has gotten so long that it is redundant.  I always do Mark though, because he was such a vital part of my life for so many years.

After the candles were lit and the ribbons hung, and the names said, Eddie Three Eagles purified the ground and then blessed the tree.  He then sang Amazing Grace in his native tongue and then we joined him as he sang it again.  That was  so moving! 

When the whole thing was over everyone went around in a collapsing circle.  Another moving thing.  When we went inside we lingered just long enough to pass out the hugs and Eddie Three Eagles gave me a peck on the cheek!  Hugs from everyone and home after a very long and rewarding day.

December 1 will come again!  It always does and it will always be World AIDS Day.  Next year I suggest you find a candlelight observance some where near you and attend.  There will be one, of that I am sure because the world is full of Lou's and John's and Erik's, and Annalees.  Call your Art Center, or your Health Department and if no one can help you do it yourself.  Our first observance was at our Arts Center outside in the freezing cold, but we were there and for this disease to ever be overcome it has to be out there and it has to be talked about.  People have to be educated and it starts with the young ones. 

Our testing at the college turned up not one single case of HIV.  Do you think that was an accident?

Along the Malecón: Florida lawmaker pressures Hungary on Cuba

Along the Malecón: Florida lawmaker pressures Hungary on Cuba

I know you were expecting something else here today, but I just caught this link and I find it very interesting. I know from reading my stats that there are a lot of you out there interested in cuba. My friend Tracey Eaton writes a very clear view of what goes on in Cuba on a political as well as a personal level. On his sight there is also a link to the daily mini blog in the New York Times.

If you go back to some of his older blogs you can see some of the most beautiful pictures of Cuban life.  That alone is worth the trip across cyberspace.

Check him out and we will get back to World AIDS Day a little later. And tell him Lou said "Hey!"

Johnson and Johnson isn't just baby products anymore!

You always thought Johnson and Johnson made baby products, didn't you?  Well just guess again!  These are two of the most prestigious people to walk through my life and I want to tell you about them.  Now you see there are three people there, so I will introduce you to them, starting on the left, because that is how it is always done and you know me, a stickler for protocol!

On the left is Merilou Johnson, MSW, MPA who I barely know. Her official title is Program Director Colorado AIDS Education Training Center.   I just met her Wednesday, so like a good little girl I thought I better figure this out quick!  I knew by the very virtue of her being here she was important, and right I was.  Those letter behind her name mean she is very educated in public service both on the social level and public administration.  See when you see an M like that it means Master and that is top of the line. Since I only met her briefly, I do not know her well, but I would dearly love to set and visit with her after researching her with my able Google toolbar.  This woman can tell us some tales I am sure and is a vital part of this continuing fight against this disease that I seem to have landed in the middle of for some reason.  To Merilou I say, "I would love to visit with you , but I was stuck at the tables.  Please forgive me for not being there."

The next lovely little creature in this little threesome is Annalee Beck, EIS Program Director at Pueblo Community Health Center.  EIS means Early Intervention Services.  Many years ago and I mean like maybe eight (?) this service was set up specifically for the HIV/AIDS community.  As I recall I was there for the first few initial meetings but that was just to whine about not having something for the clients. This town will do anything to shut me up when I start that.  I am so happy that bigger and brighter minds then mine prevailed and a program with Annalee at the helm and PCHC at her back and Dr. Johnson and Dr. Swartz beside her has brought first class health care to my friends.  There is also a most able staff there and I would be remiss to start naming names without a full list in front of me.  I only know JoAnne and Diane personally.  I will get that full slate and thank them properly in this tiny blog. Hats off to PCHC and all the little people!

And now we come to the love of my life, Dr. Steve Johnson, MD.  Isn't he the most handsome thing you ever laid eyes on in your whole life?  That little MD on the end of is name is so inadequate to describe this larger than life icon in the field of HIV/AIDS.  His official title is Professor & Director of Infectious Disease, University of Colorado.  This man is world reknowned for his work in this field and he was most instrumental in setting up and staffing our EIS Program. I know he comes down from Denver on a regular basis to meet with clients and he and Dr. Swartz confer on every aspect of client care. While I could go on all day about this man's accomplishments I know I would miss some and I do not want to do that!  What I want to do is tell you that this is one of the kindest, most caring men that God ever put on this earth and I thank him every day for sending Dr. Steve Johnson into my life, Mark's life and everyone in Pueblo, Colorado that is touched by this man's hand.  If there is ever a cure for this scourge on human life this man will be the first to know and it will be delivered to his people that same day.  Kinda like Moses bringing down the tablets!  I love you, man!

There you have it.  I know Pueblo is a backward little town, and we operate under the auspices of Colorado Springs offices and we get our funding through them.  Colorado Springs is big and we are little, but let me tell you this......We have had or EIS program eight years; Colorado Springs got theirs one and a half years ago.  Maybe they just didn't need one as bad as we did. 

These three angels are standing in front of the Pueblo AIDS Memorial Quilt.  I don't know if Colorado Springs has anything like this, but if Bill or Richard would get in touch with me I would be most happy to help them start one.  We have had ours since 1996 and it is a wonderful way for people to connect and express feelings.

Alrighty then!  Better get out of here before I fill up cyber space!  See you tomorrow for another little lesson in World AIDS Day 2010!

The testing part of World AIDS Day and a girl named Melissa.

As you know, December 1 was World AIDS Day, and we were off to do our thing at the Community College.  I promised a report, but this is one that is going to be made in about 4 entries as I want to try to do justice to each part.  Our focus this year was on testing.  Pueblo Community Health Center, Southern Colorado AIDS Project, and MPACT all had testing on site and it was free!  Now, you are going to be amazed at the changes in the world today.  Well, maybe you aren't, but I sure was.

First off, piercing through the eyebrows, lips, nose, eyelids and through the ears are all considered normal.  My thoughts on this is "If God wanted holes in my body he would have got out his drill!"   Now as to the dress code.  Remember how the boys used to wear their jeans baggy and way down their hips?  Now they wear what is called "Skinnies".  I know this because John told me. I digress!  Back to my purpose here on this blog.

So there were 8 long tables here in the foyer and we all advertised free HIV testing and our job was to reel in the students, talk to them about safe sex and the end goal was to get them tested!  I was absolutely amazed at our reception.  Here we have mere babes in arms being counseled on how to have safe sex by an old woman who would not have even said the word out loud 20 years ago.
They all left with a handful of condoms and a goodly portion of them headed upstairs to learn their fate.  That trip usually lasted about 20 minutes if they waited for results.  Then they would come by the table and poke out their finger with the band aid and I would give them a high five. If they did not want to go upstairs they were given a card for free testing at the Health Center.  Walk in.  Anytime.

I noticed one young girl visiting the tables and you know how you can just tell sometimes?  She finally came to my table.  I told her my spiel.  Free HIV testing and then I went a step further with her and engaged her in conversation.  I told her if she had sex she needed to be tested.  She told me she was pretty sure her boyfriend was faithful and I told her he probably was, but this is her body to take care of and protect.  "Take the test and if it comes back negative you can breathe a sigh of relief.  If it comes back positive then you got an early start and we will cross that bridge, but the unknown will do you in."  Only with this girl did I leave my table and walk her up the stairs and personally deliver her to "the room".  Of course I could not stay with her due to privacy issues.  So I went down to my table to wait.

The goal in testing is it is part of education.  There are people out there who think AIDS has been cured.  They think it is not the problem it used to be.  And it is definitely different.  People used to die of AIDS Related Complications or ARC.  But now we have high powered drugs that make the body toxic and in so doing suppress the viral load and build the immune system.  Now the cause of death is Heart Failure, Liver Failure, Cancer, Lymphoma, and any disease that can come in under the radar.  AIDS always wins in the end.  Always.

Along with the AIDS test comes counseling. Now this whole process takes about 30 minutes from the needle stick till you get your results.  Do you think anyone is going to leave that room and go have unprotected sex again without thinking about it? That would be just like setting there looking at a ticking time bomb and trying to figure out just when it is going to blow. Your whole life is now hanging on the word "if", the longest word in the English language.  I am pretty sure I would change a few habits I carried for years if I had thought about them a little more!

It seemed that waiting for Melissa to reappear was one of the longest waits of my life.  I had formed an instant bond with this little waif and I must confess I may have said a prayer or two inside my head that not our will but thine  be done.  I felt a personal connection to all the kids I sent upstairs, but it was just special with Melissa. I wanted them all to be alright, but especially this little girl with the sad eyes.

And my patience was rewarded after due time.  I knew when Melissa started down the stairs what the news was!  She was negative!  So I gave her a card for the Health Center testing with instructions to get that boyfriend in and get him tested or I would be paying him a visit.  Then I told her,  "I am going to write about you on my blog, but look, no pictures.  And I will change your name."  Then I gave her a card and I just want her to say this to her.....

"Melissa, it was wonderful to meet you yesterday.  You reflect the innocence of youth and the hope for the future.  It is women like you who hold the key to ending this epidemic that grows every year.  You can talk to your friends about safe sex and convince them that their bodies are theirs to protect and as women it is our duty.  AIDS is not gender specific, it is not a GAY disease and it respects no boundaries.  If your boyfriend thinks a condom is uncomfortable, what does he think full blown AIDS would be?  You can help me do this.  And you can have your friends talk to their friends and soon we will be an army of women marching shoulder to shoulder ...."

My God!  I am woman hear me roar!  I feel sooooo Helen Reddy!

In an ironical twist of fate there were in the neighborhood of 70 tests given yesterday and not one positive in the whole college!  To me that was absolutely amazing. This group of people that I thought was the party crowd, clothing optional, pass the bong turns out to be responsible citizens of society.  Well, I for one feel a little better about my future.

And I want to send a plea out to my Melissa and all the other Melissa's out there and the little gay guy and the macho football player and anyone else who will listen to me....I need you!  Southern Colorado AIDS Project needs you.  The Community Health Center needs you.  We need warm bodies to help us.  We are overwhelmed.  Linda Lorraine at SCAP particularly needs help answering the phone and always something to be done.  Do this.  See down below this where it says send a comment?  Send me a message.  If you do not want it published just say so and it will be our little secret.  If we keep talking we can conquer the world!

I do not remember who said this, but I remember it being said:

No man is an island....

P.S.  I give a social luncheon on the second Tuesday of every month at the SCAP office.  Everyone is welcome.  Come and meet some of the clients that eat with me.  They are wonderful people and this will put a face on this disease.  We even have a tiny baby to play with!  It starts at 11:30.  Oh, but I am skipping December because the Springs office caters that one for Christmas!  Well not skipping, but being lazy.  I will be there with the cookie bags from PFLAG.  Call me!  I am lonely!